Living The Lifestyle - Friday, 8/5/16
jbrack381us
Posts: 345 Member
Everyone says it, but just how do you do it? How do you take the guidelines of the WW program and turn them into a lifestyle you can live every day...from now on? That is what we are here to explore. Each weekday, a new topic is offered up for discussion. Newbie? Join in! Veteran? Join in! Your thoughts may be just what someone else needs to hear.
Monday -- GadgetGirlIL (Regina)
Tuesday -- goldenfrisbee (Chris)
Wednesday -- Rachel0778 (Rachel)
Thursday -- misterhub (Greg)
Friday -- Jbrack381us (Joe)
Today's topic: Eating as part of your identity
As a larger person, was part of your identity/self worth/sense of pride attached to being capable of eating larger amounts of food? Or more than others? If so, was there any mental transition that you needed to make during WL to adjust that view of yourself?
Monday -- GadgetGirlIL (Regina)
Tuesday -- goldenfrisbee (Chris)
Wednesday -- Rachel0778 (Rachel)
Thursday -- misterhub (Greg)
Friday -- Jbrack381us (Joe)
Today's topic: Eating as part of your identity
As a larger person, was part of your identity/self worth/sense of pride attached to being capable of eating larger amounts of food? Or more than others? If so, was there any mental transition that you needed to make during WL to adjust that view of yourself?
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This was definitely not part of my identify when I was heavier. It was actually more of an embarrassment to me. For example, I remember feeling a bit embarrassed when I would go back for seconds, etc., at events and things.
Though, on the "pride" thing, my national colleagues who I only see occasionally think I have a very high tolerance for alcohol. I hover between pride and embarrassment at this.0 -
It was an unconscious thing that took me awhile to discover the "why" of. My dad was a heavy lifter when we were small children. He'd go with a group of guys and clean out a buffet. He'd brag about how much they ate and how much they could lift. He'd bring home weight lifting ribbons, etc. from the events. On the weekends, we'd go out to buffets and were encouraged to eat A LOT, to get their money's worth. I equated eating a lot with being strong and self confident and I idolized my dad. It's easy to put this stuff aside with the rational part of my brain, not so easy with the un-rational.1
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I am with Steve. It was more a sense of embarrassment that I ate that whole pizza, etc.0
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A friend and I were "binge buddies". Our hangouts centered around consuming massive amounts of food. Our friendship had to go through a transition when that was no longer what I wanted to do. I'm glad we survived it and were able to evolve2
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I remember being at a restaurant about 10 years ago and deciding between a 3 pc and 4 pc dinner and have the thought consciously strike me for the first time, that of course I could "handle" a 4 pc dinner. It did not spur any changes at that point, but the seed was implanted in my brain with thoughts to sort through.
I think it was always a source of pride subconsciously, along with not wanting to waste food and being part of the clean plate club.
This time around on the way down, I think I finally have a handle on the mental side of it, for the most part. But there is still quite a bit of retraining to go.0 -
I hesitate to call it "pride" - but when someone asked if I was going to eat all of whatever was in front of me, the answer was always "Of course!" I'm not sure it was pride as much as it was identity.
BBQ is the classic example - full slab of ribs, beans, fries, cornbread, and dessert. BBQ was strongly associated with the volume of food as much as the taste of the food. It took a lot of retraining to get to the point where I could eat 1/3 slab and be done.0 -
No identity or pride in being able to eat a lot, just embarrassment that I always went back for seconds and thirds. And I was always hanging around the appetizer table before the meals eating all the chips with dip and crackers with cheese.0
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Not really sure, but when I see the 24 oz. slab o'beef on a menu, I say "who can eat that?" and order the 9oz, filet.0
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Count me in with the embarrassed group since I used to be able to put away so much extra food.
Now I feel self conscious when people comment on my frequent eating. I don't like to eat large amounts of food at one time. So I eat little amounts more frequently, say 6-7 times a day. I don't eat traditional size meals except for the rare dinner out. I don't like feeling too full any more.0 -
I did not identify with "eating more" as a thing of pride - in public I typically held back on eating, thinking that the folks around me would be thinking "I see why she's gained weight." I did have a portion issue, I ate "healthy" food but way too much so my change (still on going) is to reduce portions and when I do, that is when I feel proud.0
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Yes. Kind of.
When I was a kid, I was an athlete - in Texas. Everything is bigger in Texas, including appetites. We often had contests to see who could eat the most of whatever was on the table. Bragging rights were important. This mentality carried over into adulthood.
In my late 20s, I got a handle on that and got into amazing physical condition. Eating vast amounts of food no longer were important, and it seldom has been since.
Unfortunately, I suffered a serious running injury, and my movement pretty much came to a halt, resulting in the fat packing on again - until I found WW.
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Put me in the embarrassed camp. I think part of the reason relates to gender. Guys are 'supposed' to eat lots, 'growing boys will eat you out of the house'. Girls were supposed to be dainty. I was always the average one, with a heavy friend and a skinny friend... until I started to gain my freshman year of high school. I got back to a healthy weight that summer, but it started the yo-yoing, and the embaressment over how much I ate!0
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When I was a kid, I was determined to eat as much as my brother. I suppose I was conflating food with love, and I wanted to prove (to myself, anyway) that I was as loved as he was. The problem was that he grew taller, I just got wider. He's a full foot taller than me (I'm 5'9", he's 6'9").
As a young adult, I'm not sure I was proud of how much I could eat. But I sure was proud of how much I could drink, and that I could drink most guys under the table. Proud of participating in a century party (a shot of beer every minute for 100 minutes) and being the only one who didn't hurl.
That's definitely changed as I matured, and no longer saw "planning to get wasted" as an appropriate weekend activity.
I agree with Lin about the gender-based expectations. I doubt many women were proud of how much they could eat. Other than that hot-dog eating woman, quantity is not something women "compete" at, certainly not on a daily basis, the way men might jokingly compete to see how many wings they could eat.
As for that original issue with my brother -- again maturation helped, and also my brother actually apologizing to me for how much our dad favored him. It really strengthened our sibling relationship and helped me let go of a lot of resentment. So, yeah. Facing my stuff instead of stuffing my face. That's what had to change.
Murple0 -
I am an outlier from some of the heaviest folks on these boards and also wasn't really overweight until my college years. I use to eat some (for me) pretty big steaks that were over a pound in weight and loved every bite of them. It wasn't a pride thing but a stuffing enjoyment/flavor thing.
Yea not sure why it is that some dads favor the males so much in their families. I know my grandfather on my mom's side totally favored the son and sent him off to engineering school etc. My mom "hated" being on the farm and doing chores in the most rural of places. She graduated from high school (1 room school house taught by my grandmother in Missouri) at about age 15 and got a college scholarship. Later in life got an MSW in social work and Fulbright scholar status to help set up a School of Social Work in the Pahlavi University in Iran.
My parents treated all us kids great regardless of gender.
Yeah I do miss not eating the pounder steaks but also don't want to go back to being obese either.0 -
I sometimes don't comment on threads or comments of those losing 100 LB and much much more in part because I have lost more like 1/2 a 100 (50LB) or at most maybe 60 (earlier this year). I don't presume to know or have experienced life the same way.0
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That describes me, too: an outlier. I was thin most of my life and was never really a big eater. What I became was a constant eater. It was all those snacks and sweets, not big helpings at meals that put on my weight.0
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Wow. I've been here 10 years and I don't recall this ever coming up. Great question.
Yes. Being a big eater could sometime be an attention grabber. It still sorta is. Some people don't see how I can eat as much as I do without being over weight.0 -
Identity, yes. Pride, no.
I self-identified as someone who could really pack it away. I was not proud of it and generally hid it.0 -
No. I grew up with the directive that I eat what's served / finish everything on my plate. It was a lesson I took long into adulthood. As portions got bigger, so did I. And if one beer was good, a few was better. Same with sweets and just about everything else. But I finished everything on my plate. However, at no time did any of this give me any sense of pride. I just did it.0
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As a kid growing up in 1950s I was taught to "clean your plate" get second helpings was routine. Raise three boys sorta like that. Thankfully all three lost weight when they moved out on their own and none are over weight.
I remember eating others left overs at restaurants❗️0 -
College was my downfall. We had the free buffets listed for every night of the week at all the local bars. Eat as much as you can became a way of life. Once I became less active I still continued to eat that way. It then became my way of dealing with stress and I didn't care.0
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Good point Kim. I too was raised as a plate cleaner and with portion inflation of "serving size" I am sure I ate more with time and that didn't help. Still have a problem with cleaning plates.0
This discussion has been closed.