Hello ladies! I apologize in advance for this very long post. I'm very frustrated at the moment and this will probably devolve a bit into a rant.
A little bit of history: I have had messed up periods forever, since my first one. Heavy bleeding for 6-7 days and irregular timing. Long stretches with nothing at all, then when I finally had one it would be horrible. Went to the dr six years ago (@19yo) and she couldn't diagnose me officially (only a NP) but she thought from my blood work that I had pcos. I didn't get a referral as I had no insurance and that round of visits alone cost me $700+. So she put me on clomid to force a cycle and then birth control. Was on that for 1.5 years or so, but went off of it because it was horrible. She told me it would probably help my weight and my acne, but it actually made both worse. I was starving all the time, my sex drive went down the toilet and my skin was worse than it had ever been. So husband and I spent a few years using condoms (just in case, not like I thought I could get pregnant anyway), and basically ignoring my symptoms because I couldn't afford to have anything checked. Last year I decided to start trying to get healthy as we want to start a family, so I lost weight (60lbs so far), my periods came back (still a little irregular, 35-40 day cycles and I skipped July completely), I quit smoking, etc.

So last week I finally went to get a check up. My husband joined the military, so I have Tricare Prime insurance now and I thought I had better make use of it. Hubby and I have been having unprotected sex for over a year now and no results yet in the baby department, so I figured I would go and get my hormones checked and figure out from there. I am still not completely convinced on the pcos diagnosis, I don't have the cysts or the insulin resistance, just extra hair and irregular periods. My testosterone levels were at 60, which from what I've read is high but not as bad as some. Regardless, I wanted them checked now to see if they had improved with weightloss and by quitting smoking. And it turned out to be a giant waste of my time.

I went and had the consult, told the dr, my pcm, of my irregular periods and that we were trying. Told her I wanted to get my hormones checked to make sure all was in order, so I don't waste my time tracking and thinking that I might get pregnant, wasting money on pregnancy tests when I'm late, etc. I told her I needed to know if the diagnosis of pcos was accurate, so I could be referred to a specialist. She gave me a script for prenatal vitamins and sent me on my way. They took my blood to test (the lady stuck that needle in like she was throwing darts I swear. Ouch) and I went back yesterday for the results and a pelvic exam.
I get there and they had me fill out my history, again. Same nurse, acted like we had never met before. She called my name and saw me walk up to her. When I got to her she huffed and was still scanning the waiting room, she called my name again...I was like, yeah I am right here? ...anyway. She takes me back and takes my vitals and has me put on the stupid paper gown and left me to wait. Twenty minutes later, I'm still sitting there naked and freezing and the dr finally comes in. She introduces herself (really?), looks at my intake form and says, you're not on BC? Do you want a prescription for some?
Wtf? No, I told you last week I am trying to get pregnant. I asked her about the results of my blood work and she had to go find it...she comes back and goes through it with me, they didn't test my hormones. Ffs. I ask her why my hormones weren't checked and she says, we did, I told you your thyroids fine. I said I asked that my estrogen, testosterone and progesterone be tested and she told me that they were unimportant because I was already diagnosed with pcos, so those levels don't matter. Ok...then she asked me if I was taking prenatals...yeah, you gave me a script last week. But hey, now I know I don't have syphilis. Which she spelled wrong on my blood work results.

We get on with the pelvic exam (during which she asked me how my periods are, again) and when that's over I ask her for a referral to a fertility dr. She says no, I can't refer you until your husband gets his sperm checked, and why are you worried about it anyway? You have to have been trying and failing for awhile first. I remind her that we have been having unprotected sex for over a year. She goes on to explain that he has to have been home and us trying for an entire year before they will test him, then explains how that works, with the cup and everything, like she thinks I'm a freaking moron. So in order for me to find out anything, he has to go get tested, get the results (which I'm sure will be perfectly fine, he's a healthy 25 yo man that has never smoked, done drugs or anything and has no family history of fertility issues), then I have to go back and make another appt with these morons just so I can get a freaking referral to someone that actually knows what the *kitten* they are doing and has a memory better than that of a goldfish.

Then to top it off I told her I'm pretty sure it is me not him and she goes, oh honey I'm sure it's not you, it's probably him. Like I was just being dramatic and needed reassurance. Gah! I wanted to scream at her by the time it was over.

I just cannot believe that this is the best they have for our military and their families. I live near one of the largest military bases in the country, and this clinic is one of the main places for active duty to come for healthcare. It's a freaking disgrace. They are dismissive and just want to get you in and out and collect their pay check. I'm working on switching to the standard insurance, I would rather pay more and have them actually listen to me than have to go deal with those people again.

Anyway, do any of you have any advice on what I need to do? What kinds of drs I need to see, what tests, etc? I'm sorry again for the long post, I just really want to conceive and this is already getting frustrating and I've barely even started.