Don't think of it as selfish. Being healthier will keep you around for your family for a longer time. So in a way, it's one of the most selfless things you can do for them.

There is an adjustment period where your family is eating different foods than you, naturally. Honestly (and I think most people here would agree), it won't really bother you after the surgery to make those foods and not partake for a while. Within a few months, you will be eating some of the same foods again. A little over three months out from my surgery, I'm eating quite a bit of the same food as the rest of my family albeit smaller portions. I was able to eat a normal Thanksgiving meal. Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, yams, pumpkin pie, cranberry sauce....just in very small quantities.

Not selfish at all! My kids love that we as a family are more active (hiking, biking, beach time), that they can wrap their arms around me, that I'm no longer the fat, old mom (I'm still an older mom, but hey, I'm skinny!), etc. I have so much more energy! I do have to make an effort to sit at the dinner table with them longer than I'd prefer - I finish my portion of the same meals I make for them so much sooner - but it's worth it. They're only going to be home for a few more years...

@Minskygirl - my husband and I are total foodies, we love to cook and entertain. We still do the same stuff including going out to dinner, but so just eat less. Having surgery doesn't mean we give up our social lives - in fact, if you cook, check out Skinnytaste and EmilyBites. They have good and healthy recipes, and the following sites are not specifically made to focus on healthy cooking but you can always modify if necessary - Mel's Kitchen Cafe, Carlsbad Cravings and Damn Delicious. Definitely worth checking out. If you like Mexican, Bariatric Foodie has an awesome Taco Casserole and if you like manicotti, Bariatric Eating has an awesome recipe where you make the "pasta" -neither recipe is really difficult and are awesome.

Many people who are overweight to begin with are selfless. They tend to always put themselves last and give the best to others. Suffering selflessly to the point of not being concerned about how they look or their own health. So this new world of "my food choices" coming before "your food demands" is difficult. It is a change, but overall it will be a change for the positive.
I have found that my S.O. who has been very supportive, and doesn't normally request specific dinners has started to hint on what he misses. Before surgery my dinners were large pasta, potato and meat meals. I baked cookies and cakes every week for him. Be assured he doesn't have a weight issue, never has. But I cannot live eating that way. I no longer bake - until recently for Christmas. We work together finding recipes that cures his cravings, while satisfying my protein requirements. Every now and again, maybe twice a month, I will cook one of my old favorites that he can eat. I will normally find something else to eat during these times. There are ways to substitute items which keeps us eating together. We are old fashioned in that I am the primary cook and he suffers through whatever i feed him!
Don't let your feelings of not providing get in the way of your goals. He has discovered that he likes eating KETO. Your support team may also. Compromise is key. Allow your family to continue enjoying what you have cooked in the past, but look for ways to introduce them to your new world. And you will discover that you can enjoy those same foods too with limits.

I hoped this helped. Judi

Giving yourself the gift of your health and longevity and quality of life will be just as beneficial to the family that loves and depends on you! I understand that feelings are feelings, but life on this side of surgery is amazing! Please think of the changes in food that you are making as an integral learning for your family as well. Seeing and experiencing healthing eating and activity will serve as a great learning for all around you. One thing that amazed me the most about my journey was seeing my positive changes becoming healthy habits for those around me. We are all role models...we steer people into changes both good and bad with every choice they see us make. I've blogged my progress and emotions openly, and you are welcome to check it out. I've been idle for a while due to some big changes in my life, but I have a new entry that I'm gonna post this weekend. www.butyouhavesuchaprettyface.com

"I'm coming around to I need to take care of me to take care of them"

That's it in a nutshell for me bud. My quality of life has improved. My life expectancy has improved. My risks of weight-related complications are being eradicated. I'm able to get outside and play soccer with my daughter. I can run around and play with my mini-schnauzer in the backyard. My family and I almost never eat out anymore where before, it was several times a week. So the kids are eating healthier instead of crap like McDonald's.

More than ever, I feel like I'm going to be there to see my daughters grow up and to see their kids grow up. I've been blessed with this second chance and I'm making the best of it.

You will find that logging the foods just becomes second nature after a while. Exercise becomes easier and dare I say it, actually ENJOYABLE and invigorating as you lose weight and gain energy that was previously wasted on hauling your extra bulk around. There are times now where at my desk job, I can hardly sit still.

Food tastes better, the air smells fresher and sex has become the awesome activity again that it used to be before I chunked up.