This is just something to think about. How do you feel happy? Not when this or that happens, but just as things are happening? As I continue to plow ahead in my ED recovery, I find stopping ED behaviors far easier than healing my thoughts, dreams, wants... I continue to have thoughts of when I run a certain distance, or feel I look I certain way... then I'll be happy. My happiness seems to be contingent on many diff things. When the weather warms up, when my kids, husband, dad, brother... never could all of those things happen at the same time. Why do I wait to be happy? When I get more money, organize/clean my house... my therapist is trying to drive home the point that there are reasons to be happy right now. This am I was able to tap into that idea. While the chaos of my life was taking place- dog chewing at her stitches, getting 3 kids (who go to 3 diff schools) ready, husband complaining about ??? Weather bitter cold, painful pimple on my nose came to visit today... I was able to be genuinely be happy sipping my coffee in my favorite mug. Sure, the bliss lasted for only 3-4 min. But it was 3-4 min of happiness that didn't depend on what my clothes looked like, what I thought my weight was, if my dad's cancer would stay away, if my aunt would stop annoying me, would my in laws be more respectful of me this Xmas...

I have spent a lot of time thinking about my goals for the holidays and beyond. My weight:appearance will not be on the list. Enjoyment:happiness is the goal and now I'm working on the plan to achieve it. My goal for the rest of the day is to be mindful of opportunities to be happy in other ways today- even in 3-4 min stretches. Ways that are not contingent on anything!

Wishing you all many happy moments!