I wish I had the answer. One of my children died and after the initial shock, where I didn't eat enough, I gradually gained 50 pounds. I was overweight by about 10 years after she died using food as comfort.I lost that weight, only to fall into a stage of anorexia, which I used as a pain killer to numb my emotions again. I began to believe my emotions would never come under my control at all. I used starving myself to blunt emotions. After a few years of that (about 5 years) I woke up to the fact I was killing myself by heavy caloric restricion and I sought recovery from anorexia. I managed pretty well, but of course my weight went up and I hit the unhealthy bmi range. About 15 months ago I reconnectd with mfp and slowly lost 50 pounds, I'm at a healthy bmi now, I eat maintenance calories most days and do mild excersize (yoga and walking). I still have a lot of work to do on myself; a lot of close examination of my thoughts, attitudes and emotions. I have to keep trying to stop using food as comfort for grief, or to get through the hard times.
I'm sorry for your situation. My first husband did that too and I was able to put it aside but the marraige didn't last anyway, so when it ended then I had to deal with that and learn how to parent on my own and be the breadwinner as well, there is always something!
But ya know, here we are, sharing reality with one another, not complaining, just saying how it really is. I hope that helps, because part of living in peace is accepting how it is and just doing the next right thing until it gets better.
I know you will have good times again. You did lose weight before, you know how to do this, so thats a start and it also sounds from what you said that you have the good sense and character to carry on regardless of circumstances. I wish you well Megan. I hope we encourage others to share their lives and their ideas on how to manage life's difficulties without overeating.