Parenting from diet perspective
Replies
-
I teach my 9 and 7 year old girls that sugar is what is unhealthy. If processed sugar can be cut out of her food choices and replaced with real food (fruit veggies etc), then she will get the nutrients she needs and will feel full.
If it is just the three of you, why not get rid of the junk food in the house and have plenty of good food to eat? Seems like a Keto and standard dieter could agree on that.
Eating an apple is sweet, but the fiber will balance it for her and fill her up more than the same calorie serving of chips. She will end up eating fewer calories because she will be full on good foods.
It is a point of focusing on 'healthy' not on weight. Eating the foods that gives her what she needs for her mind and body to work.
And.. I honestly don't think low carb high fat is bad for kids, but since your wife disagrees getting rid of junk food can be something she could agree on. ... but please don't do low fat for her. You can point out the recent study about kids drinking whole milk end up a healthier weight than skim milk drinkers.
0 -
There is much good conversation here. I will just add that at that age, it is not about losing weight, but maintaining it so she can grow into it. Dr Naly talked about this in one of the Keto Talk with Jimmy and the Doc how he deals with overweight kids. He said, except for extreme cases, kids shouldn't lose weight and that it is better to just aim for eating such that weight stays fairly steady and they grow into that weight.
He also talked about how a kid, even on the SAD, will frequently be in ketosis especially if they are active. The act of growing itself burns a lot of energy and therefore kids will shift to ketosis regularly during periods of activity. Back in the old days, like when I was a kid, we would go outside and play between lunch and dinner during the summer. If kids did that now, they would be in ketosis when they came in for dinner.1 -
At 9 years old you and your wife must control nearly all of her food consumption. The biggest issue is for you and your wife to get on the same page about how to feed her a nutritionally healthy diet - what foods to restrict to what times - like sugar only once a week on a weekend, or starchy foods only every other day, or whatever you two can agree is going to meet her nutritional needs without setting her up for health problems.
I don't have any keto kids, but a friend of mine has a 12 year old on keto for health reasons...her doctors have her in several times a year for testing certain nutrient levels and bone density, if you are going to go that route please consider medical supervision.2 -
It's so sad that a nine year old feels badly about her weight. I recently had to take my 8 yo son to the doctor because he was displaying early signs of anorexia. So, although very different, I understand your concern. 9 is a perfect age to get her into gymnastics, martial arts, or any number of fun activities. I wish you the best.1
-
Heather4448 wrote: »It's so sad that a nine year old feels badly about her weight. I recently had to take my 8 yo son to the doctor because he was displaying early signs of anorexia. So, although very different, I understand your concern. 9 is a perfect age to get her into gymnastics, martial arts, or any number of fun activities. I wish you the best.
To follow up on this, 9 is a good age for a girl to take karate or something similar. As the dad of an 11 yo girl, I wish we had gotten her started sooner. She just started and will soon be 12. In this day and age I think it is of utmost importance for us to teach our daughters skills to defend themselves. The physical fitness side of this is just a side benefit.
BTW, about a month in and my daughter LOVES karate. She is a book nerd reading well above her grade level and not inclined to do anything that remotely resembles exercise. This has gotten her interested in trying other physical activities and is in fact now going to try out for track next year when she enters 7th grade.5 -
I always grew out then up as a kid. I agree with the "grow into her weight advice" may be a gentle way to get her started and stressing healthy food choices and making those choices available, easy and fun for her to choose. I also agree with finding an activity or two that she loves, maybe even one you could all do together. Karate is a great idea as well as soccer, tennis, trampoline, roller skating, and even hula hoop! My youngest son and I won the hula hoop competition at his school because we played so much with it at home. I love doing it and it is great exercise! There are some great free hula exercises on you tube. There are tons of free exercise videos on you tube of all kinds.1
-
Maybe you could create an account at www.cronometer.com not for her to track food but just to play with making fake example days of eating to see how it shows the nutrition certain foods provide.
You could guide her in building fake days of eating different junk food and fast food then help her build days of eating real food and compare the nutritional profiles.
I do think it might be a good idea to mostly ignore the total calories the different days have to avoid developing the mindset that you have to eat very little food or something. Lots of us women have literally starved ourselves for short periods of time over and over again because of that mindset. I'd keep the focus on all the stuff real food provides compared to junk food. Even at 9, it's easy to understand getting enough vitamins is important. Let her play with chronometer like it's a game. Don't even let her realize that people actually use it to track the food they eat on a daily basis because that might make her obsess about it. Make it more of a tool to see examples of good foods.
I would be careful to stay away from any section referring to losing weight and calorie deficits. Just make it a fake account to play with and not have her true stats.4 -
Great idea!2
-
How about an active game of Badmitton in the backyard or driveway?
Tie one end of a jump rope to a door knob and take turns jumping. See who can go the longest without missing.
Play a board game with no snacks for added entertainment. The best bedtime snack is a big hug from Mom and Dad with a confirmation that we had a fun day.1 -
Dieting may not be the right choice, but definitely choosing the right foods. Choosing a lower carb lifestyle might be good so that she doesn't have to give up the things she likes, but isnt getting an overabundance of carbs she doesn't need.
I'm not sure about the "growing into your weight" statement. That has to vary. For me, my family fed us adequately and I was always a little chubby -- not enough to be a real concern but I was still bigger than most kids. I was also active as a child. The weight never balanced out, I maintained mostly the same shape and am at 160 at 5 feet tall. So take care to guide her now while she's growing and still take the focus off the scale. She can be content with her body and also make better choices.0 -
Some more great advice. Thanks everyone! I hope this can help some people in the future! Keep em coming
p.s.Me and my wife agreed that weighing her was probably a bad idea but we are cutting back on carbs5 -
Sounds like a good plan.
I try to reduce what I consider to be "bad carbs" for my kids. I'll have a ton of fruit and vegetables available. I'm not kidding. I bought them 6 lbs of oranges yesterday and it is already half gone. I will often leave nuts on the table to snack on. I don't keep cracker, cookies or chips in the house unless we have some occasion to eat them, like company. I also buy a lot of snackable meats and cheese.
My kids like to snack and graze. They are homeschooled so it is hard to stop it, but they eat foods that I would worry about less.... I don't even have granulated sugar in the house right now. LOL4 -
I agree kids need special concern.
Dieting is negative to me. 2.5 years ago at the age of 63 I decided to never diet again but to only go for pain management which is totally positive. While I chose to eat a LCHF macro I really do not limit when and how much as long it is positive for pain management.
There is no reason for a 9 year old to loose weight unless morbid obese in my view.
Just go a year or two without gaining more weight and check her BMI and go from there.
There is no advice going to come from strangers that can be blindly acted on remotely. As one person said, When in a hole stop digging. Time is on her side IF she can get the macro that works for her today (expect change down the road however).
Best of success.0 -
She's 9. She's overweight because of what you guys have taught her in your house. Sorry, but that's the truth of it. She's not doing the grocery shopping. You and your wife have both eaten in a less than ideal fashion to have the need to lose weight and she has learned that from you. Throw the junk food out, put good meat and veg on the table, in appropriate portions, keep some fruit and dairy around as snacks (not icecream) and teach her how to eat. Limit the computer and TV use and engage in some outside activities. Doesn't even have to be "exercise" - just doing stuff like kids are supposed to.
I don't say the above to be mean, but a 9yo should not need to go on a diet or have weight problems.
I'm keto, but it doesn't have to be keto. I probably would not need to eat keto now if my parents hadn't practically force fed me huge meals as a child - end result 120kg and pre-diabetic at 38.3 -
tcunbeliever wrote: »At 9 years old you and your wife must control nearly all of her food consumption. The biggest issue is for you and your wife to get on the same page about how to feed her a nutritionally healthy diet - what foods to restrict to what times - like sugar only once a week on a weekend, or starchy foods only every other day, or whatever you two can agree is going to meet her nutritional needs without setting her up for health problems.
I don't have any keto kids, but a friend of mine has a 12 year old on keto for health reasons...her doctors have her in several times a year for testing certain nutrient levels and bone density, if you are going to go that route please consider medical supervision.
Medicinal keto is generally different than dietary keto. When keto is used for medical purposes, it's often more restrictive of protein and other sources of nutrients (to the tune of as much as 90% fat), and some (usually archaic) versions even restrict calories and water intake. Additionally, the doctors, themselves, are going to be overly cautious, even with newer, more nutritionally sound variations, because of the outdated information and the fact that it's a non-conventional way of eating, and it's children (and if you're a parent, you are probably quite aware of the pressure for perfection even in impossible circumstances and the constant "what ifs" and "if onlys" that often come along with parenthood in general).
That said, I think intentionally going keto for kids is generally unnecessary. They'll go in and out of ketosis naturally as long as they're not constantly eating and are active. I agree that dieting isn't the way to go about it, and the parents need to get on the same page and model mindful eating and food choices.
If she is actually overweight and showing signs of metabolic distress, I second the recommendation to cut out wheat and reduce sugar, as those are the two most common culprits for dysfunctional weight gain. That can be done without drastically reducing carbs.1 -
Just my non-professional suggestions. Experience is growing up in an overweight household that provided crappy food and didn't encourage activity.
-Throw out the scale and don't let her on one again.
-Start teaching her what a healthy LIFESTYLE is. Take walks with her, encourage her to play outside (play with her if you have to) and get involved in some sort of sport or activity (from soccer and karate to girl scouts - being involved in something is such a great influence on so many levels).
-STOP providing crappy food. You are the parent of a 9 year old. She can't just go buy whatever she wants to eat it. Stop buying packaged/instant junk and allowing her to eat it. It will start an addiction that will diminish her health for years to come. She might complain and get upset and even tell you she hates you........but I promise in the long run it is for everyone's benefit. ((Sorry if this seems assumption like, but most 9 year olds don't become overweight by eating too many fruits and veggies and quality meats)).
-Make sure you lavish her with positive comments to help her build self-esteem. Don't just say "you are beautiful" or "you don't need to lose weight". Be specific and don't lie - say stuff like "you are so funny", "your eyes are always sparkling" or "you dress yourself well".
-You need to set the example. Your wife and you both need to be firm in your stance and stand together. You also need to practice was you preach.
Sorry if this sounds rough or judgmental - I think it's fantastic you are already involved and want to change things. I just became very overweight by the time I was 21 and was at a REALLY bad place. I figured out a way to turn my life around and am no much healthier and happier (though still fighting that sugar addiction and still have some weight to lose - 5 years later). My parents and sister never changed their lifestyle and are still super overweight and the health problems are starting to mount up on them. It is sad and scary. I wish my parents would have known what I know now back when I was a kid (they still refuse to know it too).....I'd be looking forward to having them be grandparents vs being scared they won't be alive to see me have kids.
I wish you and your family all the best!!!1 -
My mom always went between telling me I needed to watch my weight and that I would grow out of it. I'm 31, and I'm just getting a grasp on my weight now. I wish we would have eaten better growing up.
My kiddo's issues are around junk. Daycare feeds him junk. Grandparents feed him junk-my mom equates food to love. He had THIRTEEN cream filled vanilla cookies when he was there Friday. He is 3. My parents loved it. I was so mad when I found out, and they told me lighten up. I'm fighting an uphill battle with external influences.2 -
I eat low carb. I do not eat wheat cause it makes me feel like garbage. I do not eat sugar cause I don't want Diabeties..was prediabetic before changes.
my daughter is overweight and 12. we got rid of most of the crap in the house and jave focused on a healthier family not her individually. everyone is encouraged to have balanced meals from numerous food groups with grains being optional. this stops the carb monsters. instead of a plate of hashbrowns you get a serving.... choose a fruit/veggie and protien/fat and if still hungry can have more potatoes..they are ..never hungryfor seconds. I also have a within normal range (was underweight) child so he looks healthy but poor choices still unhealthy regardless.of weigjt. my approach has been health rather than weight and it is going well. I avoid saying foods will help or hurt weight loss but focus on food as fuel for body and serving sizes. must have a variety on your plate.
I have a list of healthy snack options on tje fridge for after school snack choices. they help themselves to these. I do a menu for b l and dinner for the week. Kids help so they jave what they like and i balance the days. I do not limit food but the choices are healthy.6 -
rugged1529 wrote: »Thanks everyone for your comments so far. great advice.How old is your daughter if you don't mind me asking? Only because if she is still very young I would recommend enforcing a healthier way of eating instead of 'dieting'. This is the point of her life you want to encourage her to make a healthy relationship with food, instead of it being the constant battle most of us have grown to know.
I can't believe I forgot to mention how old my daughter is! She is 9 years old. I'm not forcing keto on her but I definitely want to lower her carbs or educate her about it.
My son is 9, his neurologist suggested Keto because he has Epilepsy and Cerebral Palsy (The Keto diet was originally for people with Epilepsy). I agree with the previous comments definitely get a doc opinion and have them monitor everything. My sons neurologist insisted that if we went that route that we keep a journal and see her weekly for the first few months.1 -
The journal is an awesome idea. I wish I had started one 2.5 years ago when I went Keto. At the time my thinking was not as clear and my focus was staying alive until I could learned how to walk death backwards.
Some parents have great success moving kids to Keto but I think they were much under age 9 plus they may have been home schooled.
Best of success in getting the kids to eat a less inflammatory way.1