5 months out. Struggling with social events.
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pneschich
Posts: 325 Member
I bowed out of a luncheon last week. I couldn't go to fogo de chao, a Brazilian steakhouse- amazingly good everything and all you can eat. I had to leave a 4th party tonight. The lunch just scared me. I didn't want to subject myself to the temptation. Tonight there was just too much. Too much. How do you handle it? Does it get easier in social situations. I'm not a very social guy. While I enjoy the company of many of these folks I find the eating and drinking too much. Hours on end. Just too much. I would have made myself sick if I stayed. One small well chewed bite at a time.
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I am pre-surgery, but can say that I handle social functions just as you do. I am afraid of buffets, trigger foods, and yummy catered events. Knowing I may overeat, I avoid these situations. I can't see how that will be different after surgery. I'm sorry I can't give you any tips, as I'm not to that point yet, but I feel the struggle, too.0
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I jumped right in after surgery into social events. It was important to me to be able to still socialize with my friends. I have had incredibly supportive people in my life so when I go out with them they do not make me feel awckward or unusual about my eating. When I go out I usually have a plan of what I will order ahead of time. Whe I gey my meal i divide up my plate so that I know how much I will eat amd stop. O spend a lot of time socializing so it takes me a long time to eat and then no one seems to even notice how little I have eaten. It will gey easier! Hang in there.5
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Treat it just as it is - a social event. You aren't there for the food you are there for the social aspect. I go out with friends - drink and eat. Most of the time I drink over eating because well, I can't do both! But I find if I busy myself with socializing I eat very little.3
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I had no choice but to start going to events soon after surgery. The first one was a lunch meeting my boss scheduled with our client when I was probably 6 or 8 weeks out. I was nervous but I went to the lunch, ordered a cup of soup and it was all good. I was pretty self conscious about eating in social situations in the beginning, but now, I go and make good choices, and if I think there might not be any good choices I'll have a protein bar or something with me. I have done a lot of work to be in the right mindset to handle things like social situations.
Part of why I decided to have surgery was because I wanted a better quality of life, which included becoming more social again, so it's important to me to make social situations work for me. I don't let the food be such an issue that I will miss out on life.2 -
I bowed out of a luncheon last week. I couldn't go to fogo de chao, a Brazilian steakhouse- amazingly good everything and all you can eat. I had to leave a 4th party tonight. The lunch just scared me. I didn't want to subject myself to the temptation. Tonight there was just too much. Too much. How do you handle it? Does it get easier in social situations. I'm not a very social guy. While I enjoy the company of many of these folks I find the eating and drinking too much. Hours on end. Just too much. I would have made myself sick if I stayed. One small well chewed bite at a time.
Yep....
Sometimes I feel like the food is attacking me! It's like it's just sitting there giving me the finger because it knows that I can't eat it... Hahaha. It does get easier with time but yes, I understand, it's a weird feeling it's like very intimidating.1 -
I do what @Jamieeldred does: choose my food beforehand. If it's a last minute choice on where to go, I'll get a side salad and a cup of soup (usually chili). If I know where I'm going, I'll pick out a protein heavy option (like a steak or grilled chicken) and then get vegetable sides. I eat around half and take the rest home.
Buffets are harder because even though I'm a little over a year out, I still overestimate what I can eat and will take too much. Again, I stick to protein and veggie options, or if something really looks good, I'll take a small bit to try. We don't really go to buffets--except the Indian one because it's really good-- so I don't run into this scenario often.
Cookouts are a bit tricky as well, but I will bring a dish to share that I know will fit in my goal. If I'm hosting, I try to have a variety of things that everyone can enjoy. Yesterday, for example, we had burgers and hot dogs, mac & cheese, chips, a veggie tray, and a few desserts. I had a bunch of veggies, a burger with no bun, and later on, a small slice of cake (that I shared with my husband). I was full, satisfied, and didn't feel awkward not getting another plate like everyone else did. You will learn to adapt, it just takes time for the initial weirdness/uncomfortableness to go away.1 -
Well I get it! I jumped right back in as well, and for the most part I am really careful... I eat before I go out.... I keep water close at hand... but If you are not in the right frame of mind, the food can get you. Plan plan plan. Be ready. You will be fine.0
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Work lunches are part of my job and I handle them ok, know where I'm going and know what my options are. The steakhouse trip was a special occasion outside of the norm and it was acceptable not to go. The party yesterday was my wife's work friends pool party. A lot of kids a decade younger than mine. Oman older parent and almost olde enough to be the parents parent. The food was spectacular and most of it was bariatric friendly. The insalata caprise on a toothpick was insanely good. The first thing I've eaten in a while that tasted good in a way I remember food before surgery. Maybe it scared me? I think I was worried about boredom eating to fill the time. It seemed that everyone was continually grazing and drinking. Two activities I can't do. It was like hanging out with the kids who were going to get you in trouble while remaining untouched. A very bad place to be after a day on the water.0
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Why can't you drink?
I will have like one... Just mix it with a lot a lot of fluid and go really slow and I seem to be fine. But I guess not everybody does that. Just occasionally for me0 -
Alcohol hits me like a brick. Then I'm sleepy. Not the way I want to spend an afternoon/evening The gents are putting away 2-3 beers an hour. I don't really have a issue with drinking. It's the mindlessness of it. So much food. So much idle time. I'm not really a very social guy but it seems harder now. I can't seem to sit as long as I used to.0
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yea, I know what you mean. Matthew Weiner, M.D. (bariatric surgeon) suggests that surgery changes the body's set point and as a result post surgery patients feel the "need" to move much more. Even in their walk they will swing their arms much more forcefully in an effort to burn more calories. It is the body's way of getting down to the new set point. For this same reason, sometimes food makes them nauseous and eating becomes repulsive. For me, I am 4 months out and I eat 1500 calories one day and just cant eat much the next. go figure....
I can WALK OR HIKE OR EVEN RUN FOREVER. FOREVER I feel the best when I am moving. indeed!0 -
Its called being hyper-kinetic ...I dont mind at all!0
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Nah, don't short change yourself. Go and enjoy the company. DO, however look at menus before, have a plan. Those Brazilian styles placed usually have good salad bars that you can just have. Lower cost. Plenty of protein on them. And soups.1
