Effing BEANS
EryOaker
Posts: 434 Member
Every Friday, my inlaws come over for family dinner. Non-negotiable, so don't suggest not doing it. I've been on this WoE since early February. This isn't new. I've discussed it and explained it many times.... yet, my mother in law (who is a nurse) doesn't seem to get it. I'm doing this for a medical reason, and I'm monitored by doctors. Yet, every time she brings dinner (we swap every other week), she almost always includes high carb ingredients. Usually beans, corn, and high sugar fruits. Every dang time, I explain that I can't eat that. One time I had to cook myself an alternative and she seemed upset/hurt that I didn't eat what she brought. Last night she made a white bean soup. I didn't have any alternatives to cook and I was very tired. So I ate two helpings of salad and ate a small amount of the soup. Again she seemed surprised when I said that beans were a no-no. I'm not sure if she is just that forgetful or if she is just being unsupportive... but either way..... it makes me so frustrated!!!!
If you have supportive ppl in your life, be thankful! Tell them how thankful you are!!! They are truly amazing. And if you are like me and have the opposite, we'll climb aboard and welcome to the party.
If you have supportive ppl in your life, be thankful! Tell them how thankful you are!!! They are truly amazing. And if you are like me and have the opposite, we'll climb aboard and welcome to the party.
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Replies
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Ugh sorry you have to put up with that on an ongoing basis!
One of my cousins is a nurse but clearly there's nothing about nutrition taught in nursing school. Last month my mum and I were visiting and my cousin surprised us with lunch. I'd already eaten, and she was offering everything high-carb, so I politely declined and explained that I didn't know there'd be food, and so had already eaten.
She tried to convince me to just have a little, so I explained I was on a low-carb program and couldn't eat any of it anyways. So she suggested I could at least have some fruit, and offered a banana and some cherries.
She didn't get put out about it as far as I could tell, but she was clearly perplexed, and clearly oblivious. Yes, bread has carbs in it. Yes, so does potato salad. Yes, bananas and cherries have a lot of natural sugars in them. No, I don't eat any of those things.
If I were in your position, I'd try to always have something onhand as a back-up. Even just something like some cold meats and cheeses, that you could throw together in a minute to make like a charcuterie plate. I wouldn't be shy about it either, but then I can be a bit of a b**ch when people are continually obstinate like that.
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If it were critical to my health that I never ate something higher carb, I would always be prepared and take something with me or have it available at home.
I've always found it pretty easy to adapt my day to 1 meal provided by others by not eating any carbs the rest of the day, prior to. But then, I don't have reason to spread my carbs out throughout the day and can have a higher intake in 1 meal.
It's your mom in law. I'd quit explaining. If she hasn't "gotten it" in 6 months, she's not going to. Control what you can control.
You eat for NAFLD, correct? (sorry if my memory is in error) How is that? How often do you have this monitored by your docs?2 -
If it were critical to my health that I never ate something higher carb, I would always be prepared and take something with me or have it available at home.
I've always found it pretty easy to adapt my day to 1 meal provided by others by not eating any carbs the rest of the day, prior to. But then, I don't have reason to spread my carbs out throughout the day and can have a higher intake in 1 meal.
It's your mom in law. I'd quit explaining. If she hasn't "gotten it" in 6 months, she's not going to. Control what you can control.
You eat for NAFLD, correct? (sorry if my memory is in error) How is that? How often do you have this monitored by your docs?
I'm normally well prepared but life has been a bit crazy lately. I won't get into it though. The long and short of it is simply that I dropped the ball. And I actually hadn't eaten yet that day, so I'm sure I was on but 1/2 cup of those beans alone has 20+ net carbs. I know I stayed under 50 hopefully but I'm sure i was pushing it.
Yes. I have NAFLD, your memory is correct. I have blood work done quarterly to monitor my liver function. My numbers are now perfect. They were elevated last December but have basically become perfect since May. I am scheduled to have an MRI around December or January (depends on how much of my deductible is paid up! Lol cause those things are flipping expensive and insurance is a racket!) I was supposed to have a lipid/cholesterol panel done this summer but I opted against it. I didn't want my doctor to freak out and try to put me on a statan. My PCP isn't as flexible as my other doc. My pcp actually tried to convince me that nothing will help my NAFLD and I should just accept it as normal for me. I need to find a new pcp but it's difficult to find any doctors that are low carb enlightened. Anywho, so far I've lost nearly 20 pounds and I'm smaller than I've been in my adult life.... which makes most of my family/friends raise judging eyebrows. Oh well. I'm excited to see my MRI results this winter. I really hope that eating this way for an entire year was worth it! Both internally and externally!6 -
That is absolutely terrific news re your NAFLD numbers...keep up the great work!!1
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This is my "external" progress. I need to do a new pic arrangement and make a proper progress pic but I'm lazy and busy. Lol
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Eat a huge lunch and a snack before she arrives, then you can just have salad and pick at/move around your plate - whatever food she brings... and drop the topic, she hears you she is just thinking she knows better and rather than discuss it, she is subtly trying to prove her side of the argument. Let her win the battle, you win the war...2
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I hate it when this happens! Mostly I am frustrated at myself for not being better prepared. I think the poster above who suggests eating a large lunch and a snack might have the right idea. Cheese sticks in your purse?0
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Bummer. It's harder when you haven't had enough to eat before hand. I feel for you. I'm a celiac so I usually go places expecting to not be able to eat the food someone has made. Most people just have no clue what gluten is or what it is in. Throw in the fact that I am low car, and most people don't know what carbs are nevermind high or low GI, and I can rarely eat the food that is available.
I tend to just bring food along or go hungry for a while in a situation like that. Like you said, it's tougher when you couldn't prepare ahead or are tired. I suppose all you can do is just chalk it up to one of those days.
Disappointing that she can't figure it out even though she is a nurse though... Then again, my MIL (another nurse - retired) does not get my family's GF status either. She still brings bread to our GF home when she visits, which we hide in the freezer until she goes home.
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I forgot to say congrats on your success. It's great how you've reversed your NAFLD. And you look great too!0
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I forgot to say congrats on your success. It's great how you've reversed your NAFLD. And you look great too!
Thanks. Though I do need to pony out that I am not positive that I've reverse it. My liver function is better, per the blood tests, but only the MRI will be able to tell me if I still have a liver that is fatty. Which is why I'm waiting to do it. Those tests are expensive! If an entire year of LCHF eating doesn't help it, nothing will!0 -
I tend to just bring food along or go hungry for a while in a situation like that. Like you said, it's tougher when you couldn't prepare ahead or are tired. I suppose all you can do is just chalk it up to one of those days.
Disappointing that she can't figure it out even though she is a nurse though... Then again, my MIL (another nurse - retired) does not get my family's GF status either. She still brings bread to our GF home when she visits, which we hide in the freezer until she goes home.
Yep, just not eating is a pretty effective way to not eat anything mysterious or toxic. You can always use the line that you've got fasting labs the next day, unless it's Saturday, in which case you can say you have a weigh-in for a boxing match or weightlifting competition coming up.
The rake-and-eat solution for pizza works pretty well, though invariably someone will finger the orphaned crust and wad the doughy carb-bomb down their gullet, which always gets me wondering what their BG is up to
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Steph_Maks wrote: »Ugh sorry you have to put up with that on an ongoing basis!
One of my cousins is a nurse but clearly there's nothing about nutrition taught in nursing school. Last month my mum and I were visiting and my cousin surprised us with lunch. I'd already eaten, and she was offering everything high-carb, so I politely declined and explained that I didn't know there'd be food, and so had already eaten.
She tried to convince me to just have a little, so I explained I was on a low-carb program and couldn't eat any of it anyways. So she suggested I could at least have some fruit, and offered a banana and some cherries.
She didn't get put out about it as far as I could tell, but she was clearly perplexed, and clearly oblivious. Yes, bread has carbs in it. Yes, so does potato salad. Yes, bananas and cherries have a lot of natural sugars in them. No, I don't eat any of those things.
If I were in your position, I'd try to always have something onhand as a back-up. Even just something like some cold meats and cheeses, that you could throw together in a minute to make like a charcuterie plate. I wouldn't be shy about it either, but then I can be a bit of a b**ch when people are continually obstinate like that.
I am a nurse and nutrition class is prerequsite for nursing school. I am sure they understand what carbs are, but teach ketogenic or low carb diet in nursing school.1 -
I am a nurse and nutrition class is prerequsite for nursing school. I am sure they understand what carbs are, but teach ketogenic or low carb diet in nursing school.
I'm glad to hear that they do teach nutrition. I'm still not clear on how my cousin wouldn't 'grasp' that there's carbs in bread and potato salad though.
Maybe it wasn't a requisite when she went through school. Or maybe it was long enough ago that she's forgotten.0 -
My step-daughter just became a nurse, and her nutritional knowledge was amazingly tiny when she took her licensing exam. It seemed to resemble a collection of mantras from Cliff Notes for a 1970s edition of Nutrition for Dummies.
For example, "Carbohydrates are essential for life and the workings of all human cells and organs."1 -
I sooo understand. Years ago I found out how un-supportive my extended family was (this is well before we started keto). My now 19 year old daughter was born severely allergic to milk products.
We went over for thanksgiving and I found I could only eat the turkey and the pumpkin pie (I made the pie) Even the salad was pre-tossed with cheese. Everyone knew I was nursing her and of her allergy.
So since that day I make sure to bring something I am willing to eat as my meal. Recently one of my cousins has gone vegan, I find it very strange that we can usually eat what he brings and I make a point to have separate meat and veg so he can eat what we bring. Because hey us black sheep need to stick together.2 -
I forgot to say congrats on your success. It's great how you've reversed your NAFLD. And you look great too!
Thanks. Though I do need to pony out that I am not positive that I've reverse it. My liver function is better, per the blood tests, but only the MRI will be able to tell me if I still have a liver that is fatty. Which is why I'm waiting to do it. Those tests are expensive! If an entire year of LCHF eating doesn't help it, nothing will!
If your liver function is better, I consider that a reversal.
It may not be a full reversal but it isn't a progression or just a stop. Nice works so far! 0 -
I've been in nursing school and took nutrition in 1969-70 school year-however, one only remembers what one wants to remember. Or - if you don't use it you lose it.3
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Oh man I can commiserate! I've had company staying for two weeks. I've given a super clear explanation of my diet but they cannot wrap their heads around it. I'm okay with that, I just fend for myself at meal time or cook keto for all; but every day, several times per day, I get offered fruit, ice creams, yams, deserts, potatoes, etc...
I had told them twice I don't eat buckwheat and woke up to buckwheat crepes... I told them plenty I don't eat yams or potatoes and they scrambled them right into the eggs. Sigh. A few minutes ago I was offered ice cream for the 3rd night in a row! (The answer is still "No Thank You!")1 -
Most people don't understand the concept of sticking to a diet.....What's the harm if you have some ice cream....Come on...have a treat....It won't kill you.....
Hello....It might......LOL1 -
Most people don't understand the concept of sticking to a diet.....What's the harm if you have some ice cream....Come on...have a treat....It won't kill you.....
Hello....It might......LOL
Yeah I agree. I've found it quite liberating to just say "no" if offered things I don't want. I don't argue or get mad just say "no thanks" and move on.
One thing I have noticed is once people see you making changes and losing weight they almost want to torpedo your progress. Maybe its the whole "misery loves company" thing I don't know but I've sat across from co-workers and family who rationalize every bit of the carb heavy and sugar laden food they are eating and try to get you to partake. It's almost close to peer pressure one would experience in high school if there is some way to describe it. Maybe by eating healthy and losing weight you are forcing them to look at themselves and change and that is somewhere they just aren't ready to go.
I feel like when I say no to something that I used to eat regularly because I am trying to become a healthier me its a better example than giving in to the temptation. When I work out daily or take a walk it is just more of the same. I don't crab about my friends or relatives eating bad and needing to lose weight but I will be there for them if they want to stop eating the junk and become more active.1 -
I understand. My father and stepmother are the same way. They come to visit about once a month and they KNOW my woe and what it entails. They came this past weekend and brought stuffed shells and garlic bread.... I have given up on trying to remind them or explain to them, so I chose to carb load that day. :-(
However, your progress pics look amazing! Great job!!0
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