Jim.....Over the years on GoaD board there were some comments made to me but I don't remember them being negative rather more of a I don't agree tone which most of the time was constructive. We all had a few comments but as time as gone by I can't rightly think of one or two exact comments that have stuck with me. Good topic though.

Thanks for pitching this one @Jimb376 , good topic! I feel for ya in your situation. I think rather than take her input as an absolute, maybe it's good for opening your mind to possibilities (perhaps the far end?) of where you want to end up. But I also think it's important to remember this is more than a numbers game. You, more than many I've crossed paths with, have changed your entire life as a result of your desire and drive to lose weight. By your accounts, it seems you're happier and more engaged in it now than maybe (?) ever before. Celebrate that. You're on a journey. You may not be done with respect to reaching your goal weight but you're certainly enjoying more of life now than before, right? As a takeoff on @88olds 's addage, 'As your body got smaller, your life got bigger!'. I think it's awesome and as long as you are mindful and headed the right direction, the number itself is not as important as the quality of your life.

As for what comments have steered me, none directly that I can think of. However, long story short I've lost a friendship over the course of time that I've been doing this weight loss gig. It's hit me hard because I thought we were pretty good friends, but I think I've now seen that wasn't really the case. This friend is a very athletic guy whom I used to interact with a lot semi-professionally. In the course of several conversations, he would make comments about other people we both know--very obese people. His tone could be pretty cutting and sarcastic and I'd laugh and joke along with him, knowing full well I wasn't too far behind some of the targets of our jokes. Over time, I came to realize my 'friend' wasn't really just berating the other guys, that I was his indirect target as well. As I look back, I think even then I took it to heart even though I pretty much let it slide right off me. But maybe it didn't as much as I pretended it did.

No permanent harm, just a lasting 'so-noted', but not soon forgotten...

I recall being teased as a kid before I became thin, embarrassed as a young adult after regaining, before I lost again.

If there's anything that astounds me about my last round of gaining, age 32 to 44, is how no one really said anything. This includes the Dr who diagnosed me with sleep apnea. Turns out its weight related. Who knew?

Jimb376mfp wrote: »

Her comment just made me realize what I see and what others see are not the same. I have been thinking of losing another 15# to get to 186 but I will use her comment as a reminder that I’m not “there” yet!

Only you (and maybe your Dr) can decide what weight works best for you... you may find that you get to 186 and want to keep losing, or that it feels like the right place to start maintenance - but the choice is yours.

200# loss seems like such an awesome milestone if you ask me.

I think I like your Dr. There is recent research basically stating that 25-29 (IIRC) is the ideal BMI longevity in seniors.. will have to dig it up.

Well that was easy:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3865852/
https://www.crsociety.org/topic/11478-optimal-late-life-bmi-for-longevity/

(sorry for the title of the 2nd link.. that's a terrible title!)

But the 2nd link has a graph that really shows it in human (non researcher) terms really well.. the ideal BMI for seniors centers at 27.5

I'd say your Dr. is giving great advice.