discipline + kids

Soy_K
Soy_K Posts: 246 Member
edited November 22 in Social Groups
I watched a class before mine last night of children - one of which I consoled after the class. He looked very defeated and almost frightened by the constant criticism and yelling of the teacher. I told him (he is American born) that when coach picks on you - it means he cares and is pushing you to improve. If he ignores you - then start feeling bad because it means he's given up on you. I've found this to be a very common trait of Chinese teachers. (Partly cultural and partly personality) The kids who stick with his classes are really, really good. I've been to other schools where the kids are having a great time having fun - but the discipline is pretty loose. At those particular schools I visited the students weren't that good nor were the adults. The teachers themselves were amazing martial artists but there was something lost in the teaching.

My question is for you teachers - how do you bridge the gap between kids having fun and keeping motivated and discipline + technique?

After my lesson, the coach asked me - "do you think I'm too mean?" and for me not so much because I sought him out. I love that he is so passionate about teaching things well. But for a kid - I'm not sure? I said later the kid will probably appreciate it more - but now he maybe he needs to feel like he can do something correctly? I just don't know. I'm not a parent either so I'm just curious how the teachers here do it?

Replies

  • Out_of_Bubblegum
    Out_of_Bubblegum Posts: 2,220 Member
    That's a fascinating question... and one that I've wrestled with for years myself.

    Ultimately, I think the answer lies in the fine line between Yin and Yang... and I think that this symbol, as it is for so many aspects of martial arts, is the embodiment of the philosophy of balancing discipline with 'fun' learning.

    Here are some thoughts - a bit disjointed, but hopefully will convey my views on it.

    I'm a pretty tough teacher. Personally I think that students will rise the exceptions that the instructor sets, so if I set my expectations low.. the quality of students' abilities will also be low.

    I was taught, and believe wholeheartedly, that corrections should be a sandwich, and are not just pointing out the things that a student is doing wrong... meaning that to correct something, this is the formula I use (especially with kids)

    Positive observation ("Wow Johnny, you are working hard on that side kick!")
    Correct ("To make it even better, you should pull your toes back so you hit with your heel.")
    Follow up after a while and see progress is being made and give feedback:
    --Give Positive feedback ("Great job, Johnny- your kick is a lot stronger now now that you strike with the heel!")
    or if goal is not yet achieved...
    --Give constructive feedback ("That's a good effort, but we really have to pull the toes back even further. Let's keep working on it.")

    That's just a theoretical example, but really can be applied to any technique, any situation or behavior... In this, I embrace that kids want/need to be acknowledged for the work they are putting in without giving them false praise... note that I did NOT tell Johnny that he has a great side kick, I told him that he was working hard on it. I construct the correction in a goal orientation (let's make your kick even better)... and I give feedback to the student to let them know that their efforts towards the correction are noticed.

    The other formula I use is to work on kids details in proportion to their age and rank...

    What I mean on that is that as a child begins, as a white belt, the things taught, corrected and complimented are on major muscle movements, and as they advance in rank, the movement details are layered in, until we are working on the smallest details at the highest rank.

    If Suzy as a white belt can pick her knee up and throw her foot forward without losing balance, that's a good front kick...
    Suzy as a green belt is expected to point her knee toward her target, pull her toes back, and thrust the ball of the foot at the target in a quick snapping motion...

    When Suzy reaches red belt, she is expected to have a slight pivot, push the base of the hip forward during the end of the kick to give it thrust and/or snap, have her hands in guarding position, be able to retract the foot without dropping the knee, be able to follow up the kick with repeat or combination kicks without losing balance, while have good upper body posture.

    Another thing is that kids thrive off of "fun" activities. If they are having fun, they will give 100% and they will work hard without realizing it, often ignoring or not even noticing things that would make them physically uncomfortable... So creating drills that combine getting kids to achieve the desired goal while having fun becomes the real challenge...

    How do we design a class that can achieve the desired results? Some things I have used in the past:
    Alternate "fun" drills with hard drills.
    Correct each student at least once per day, but not too much in one class.
    Set an expectation that if they do X, Y and Z, they earn a game at the end of class (mixed results on that one!)

    Create an atmosphere of "WOW" - when kids see another kid doing really well, they want to emulate it... I want to hear kids look at a higher rank kid doing their best form/technique/board break/whatever and say "WOW - I want to do that!"

    Find each kid's strength, and build on it, to give them the confidence to be great at something, to inspire them to be a leader, and to inspire others to be like them.

    Do not give away rank. Kids are more patient than most instructors give them credit for... if they see that they have to be able to do X before they earn the next belt, they will accept that as the Way Things Are, and when they earn that belt, they will feel more pride in it, and it will mean more to them.
  • Soy_K
    Soy_K Posts: 246 Member
    these are awesome ideas. i know in management workshops they call that positive-negative-positive criticism for those you're managing "the sandwich." lol. i also agree that learning comes in layers of detail - (kind of like chipping away at a sculpture). i remember as a kid too - that seeing other kids do things in a dance class did make me feel more motivated and have something to aspire to. interesting and cool idea with getting a fun game reward for accomplishing drills in class!
  • Out_of_Bubblegum
    Out_of_Bubblegum Posts: 2,220 Member
    Soy_K wrote: »
    these are awesome ideas. i know in management workshops they call that positive-negative-positive criticism for those you're managing "the sandwich." lol. i also agree that learning comes in layers of detail - (kind of like chipping away at a sculpture). i remember as a kid too - that seeing other kids do things in a dance class did make me feel more motivated and have something to aspire to. interesting and cool idea with getting a fun game reward for accomplishing drills in class!


    Positive-negative-positive was what I was originally taught - but over time, I realized that it is too easy to fall into the false praise trap when following that to the letter, which over time can lead to really skewed behavior (student can ignore the correction and still get positive feedback), so I changed the last step to be results dependent on precisely what feedback I give... and it doesn't take long for kids to pick up on the difference either. (just have to be very careful not to slip into a patronizing tone when giving constructive feedback)
  • shadowbaby4
    shadowbaby4 Posts: 60 Member
    Here's my take as a parent: how many of those kids are there because they truly love the art, and how many are there because their parents make them? As an instructor, you have to consider their goals. They're not there to improve their technique or become world-class masters. If the class isn't fun, they'll quit.

    When I help teach the younger kids, I try to keep things fun and low pressure. This isn't life and death; this is an after-school activity! Hopefully they enjoy it enough to keep going, and as they get older they'll discover the benefits of discipline, perseverance, training, tradition, etc, but a little kid just isn't cognitively equipped for those things yet. They need praise to thrive.

  • Out_of_Bubblegum
    Out_of_Bubblegum Posts: 2,220 Member
    Here's my take as a parent: how many of those kids are there because they truly love the art, and how many are there because their parents make them? As an instructor, you have to consider their goals. They're not there to improve their technique or become world-class masters. If the class isn't fun, they'll quit.

    When I help teach the younger kids, I try to keep things fun and low pressure. This isn't life and death; this is an after-school activity! Hopefully they enjoy it enough to keep going, and as they get older they'll discover the benefits of discipline, perseverance, training, tradition, etc, but a little kid just isn't cognitively equipped for those things yet. They need praise to thrive.

    You are right - some kids are there because their parents won't let them quit. I ask parents when the kid starts that if the kid doesn't want to do it... to not make them - because they get very little out of it if they are forced to show up for class... and too many of those in one class can destroy the atmosphere of the class entirely!

    Most of the time, I didn't have that problem, though I have had a few in that situation (though it is usually resolved by sitting down with the student and parent, one way or another).

    I did have 1 parent that kept their kid in even though it didn't want to be there... I knew it, the kid knew it, and everyone in class knew it... and though I talked to the parent, they had this idea that if they didn't let the kid drop out, they were somehow teaching it a valuable lesson in "not quitting". The kid was miserable, and never advanced after that... and eventually dropped out after months of complaining and barely participating despite many attempts at motivating him.

    Anyway - you are right - it has to be fun, or the kids won't enjoy it.. and if they don't enjoy it, they won't excel at it.
  • trackercasey76
    trackercasey76 Posts: 781 Member
    I try to make it fun and challenging. I also am very clear that as they rank up the criticism gets more pointed and specific. I have a letter that I give to the parents when they sign their kids up so there are no surprises when I crack down on their kid. I always try to end the class with Smiling kids because that is what they remember.
  • Geocitiesuser
    Geocitiesuser Posts: 1,429 Member
    It's a challenge, and each lead instructor I know tackles it a bit differently. One thing that bothers me greatly is when it's not enough curriculum and more just busy work and fun. The kids are there because they NEED the structure usually.
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