This week is:
Celebrate Your Name Week.
Unless you are stuck with some of these monikers:
Molly = depressed
Portia = pig
Gideon = having a stump for a hand

National Procrastination Week.
DC's biggest week of the year.

National Words Matter Week.
For all intensive purposes, I seam to stand with baited breath, but I really could care less.

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Today is:
National Multiple Personality Day.
What could make a marriage more fascinating?

National Cheese Doodle Day.
The real reason the President is orange.

National Absinthe Day.
The present past future plural single participle of absent.

Cinco de Marcho.
It's Spring Training time for your liver.

National Potty Dance Day.
You're at a concert. You've had several beers. There are 57 people ahead of you in the porta-potty line dance.

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Birthdays:
Eva de la Caridad Méndez, 44
Trickfinger, 47
Joel Scott Osteen, 54
Penn Fraser Jillette, 63
Samantha Eggar, 79