Another vote for don't mention it. No one knows if I'm cutting, bulking or maintaining and I've done all of those things in the last 5 years. My physique goals are not anyone's business

KimmySmellsbee wrote: »

Hmm sounds unanimous. I am a heart on my sleeve share everything with my friends kind of person, but I think this is sound advice - to focus on my own journey and avoid negative feedback by not sharing in the first place!

I mean you can still share when asked, but I would be very vague.. especially if you are receiving negative feedback. Cause that is not fun! I usually share on my wall to my friends here, blog or write in a journal to document my journey and how I am feeling. I find it helps.

Yes I get that all the time too. When I was losing, for some reason my husband loved to shout to anyone and everyone that “she’s only eating 1300 calories!” And then they would all think I was disordered. When in actuality, I’m petite so 1300 was well within a healthy range of calories for me, and still I was only losing 0.5 lbs/month.

Now I’m maintaining, so don’t have that issue too much anymore.

I feel that as well - also for trying to set at 1200 kj - sedentary job, 39 y o female - I don't need a lot of calories anyway and trying to lose weight while still getting enough nutrients is actually healthy! Good for mental health, sleep, blood pressure, your knees etc. All good reasons to get to a BMI closer to 19 than 25!

@KimmySmellsbee wow, so odd that on a calorie counting support site you are being told to forgo support. Go ahead and talk about it and ask people to support you. Whether you have 100 pounds to lose or 2 pounds, whether you are a beginner athlete or an Olympian trying to shave 10th’s of seconds off your time, you start from where you are and have to deal with confidence, willpower hard days setbacks and so on. Share your journey with the people you love and support teams here and elsewhere. Enjoy the applause for the good days and feel uplifted, cheered on for the tough ones. I’m in the same boat as you goal wise and I feel that you, like me, deserve support. So well done in speaking out about it. Wishing you the best in your journey.

I don't talk about what I'm doing in terms of weight loss. I talk about it in roundabout ways - new recipes I'm making, starting meal prep to save money, talking about how regular exercise is helping manage my anxiety disorder and the new friends I'm making through dance. But there are days where I just want to go "Look at me I lost X pounds and I'm proud of that!" So I definitely feel your pain.

I don't look for support where I feel or know support will not be given. With my friends who are health/diet conscious, I can have great discussions about our shared goals and interests, but with others, I can always find some other topic we can find mutually interesting.

I used to get that a lot. I would complain to a friend or family member that was bigger then me. It would usually be along the lines of "Im trying to eat better and get in shape. Maybe even lose a few lbs. I'm approaching the overweight territory, that concerns me." The reply would usually be "Oh you're TINY you don' t need to do a thing! ME on the other hand.... (squishes belly) You're fine! You don't need to lose weight." It was a little annoying to not be able to vent about those things to friends or family and feel kind of invalidated. Like somehow I had to weigh a certain amount in order to be able to complain about my weight. Even though I have been overweight or at the top of the BMI range for years. I have even stopped losing weight just to keep people from worrying about me, or making comments about my weight loss. As a petite person, I can eat a 1200-1300c diet and lose weight at a moderate to slow pace. If I tell anyone that's how much I eat sometimes, they automatically assume I am going into disordered territory. I just talk about it now with select people, and try to reassure family's worries with science and facts. lol. I try not to make disparaging remarks about myself, and just make it about being healthy and avoiding any future health problems. It seems to go over better. Plus it seems that since I'm in my 30's it's somehow more socially acceptable for me to be worried about my weight and health than it was in my teen's and 20's...

gutsnglory6 wrote: »

I get this and I think it’s why it took me so long to get back to it and try to lose the last 10 pounds off my original weight loss goal. I have a wedding coming up now which gives me the excuse of “yeah, I know I don’t *need* to lose weight, but I want to look good in that dress” and somehow that’s more socially acceptable.

Yes, it's prevented me from trying to lose weight also. And it's reminding me of when I decided I didn't need to stop drinking because a lot of my drinking friends drank a lot more than me, and also I was so much better because I was no longer doing other drugs. Haha, that was wrong! Boy did I need to stop drinking and I'm so glad I did. And now I'm no longer friends with active alcoholics, which is better for me all around anyways.

I think it partly bothers other people because they are so unhealthy and then they feel even guiltier about their behavior when you talk about it.

FormerlyWallyAmadeus wrote: »

Also, I would add this: I think that there is a thing with women (maybe men as well...but I know more women), kind of a dance: Oh, I need to lose weight. No, you don't. You're so skinny. Yes, I need to eat better. No, you're the healthiest eater I know.

No woman has ever said to me: Yep, you're right. You are looking kind of flabby. I see you eating cookies at lunch, why don't you stop?

My husband has never replied when I ask: Do I look like I've gained weight...Well, yes, you have.

This is totally true and I think I'm going to stop playing into it. Meaning that if someone tells me they're trying to lose weight I am not going to tell them oh but you look so great. I also won't say they look flabby but I'll just say that I want to support them in whatever way I can. Well unless they're obviously anorexic or something.

However my latest weight-loss effort was actually spurred by my husband who directly asked me to work on my weight. Now, this really pissed me off because the cultural norm is for the husband to never say something like this. So I had to ask myself why am I married to this jerk who says such things to me when I'm really pretty thin compared to many many people. In fact it pissed me off so much that I loaded MyFitnessPal and started doing this, haha! Also I took my waist to hip ratio measurement and I was higher than what is recommended for women. I just turned 49 and that bad ratio is not a trend I want to continue on.

I told him about all this later and he said well that's just cultural programming (that the guy isn't supposed to say that). Later he showed me a video of myself from 3 years ago when I was at my goal weight and I looked super-hot. Like I still look pretty good now but back then wow. So this inspired me.

So KimmySmellsBee I support you fully!