Worried about what to wear
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Cora0477
Posts: 326 Member
The closer I am to my goal weight, the more I stress over what to wear when I get together with my larger friends. I never want a friend to feel bad about themselves when hanging out with me, so I always try to think of outfits that kind of hide my size. Does anyone else deal with this?
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Were you hyper-aware of how the way your slimmer friends were dressed made you feel when you were heavier? Perhaps that is why you feel the way you do now? As long as you are dressed appropriately for the occasion you shouldn't feel awkward around your friends. If they have a problem, they need to reassess what friendship really means.3
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I have never been in their shoes, since at my heaviest, I have never been more than 20 pounds over my goal. The closer I get to goal, the more the form fitting the clothes start to look like showing off when you are around friends who are 50-100 lbs over. My best friend is in this boat. We don't live near each other so I don't have to worry about it often, but I do know that it makes her beat herself up to see me go from slim to slimmer when she keeps getting heavier and can't seem to get herself on track.0
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I just want to say it's commendable of you to take other's feelings into consideration like that. Most people (myself included) probably wouldn't ever have thought about it. I mean, I might hesitate to wear something with my midriff showing I was going out with considerably heavier ladies, but other than that, I don't think anything appropriate, to canadjineh's point, would be showing off.2
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@Cora0477 I definitely do this, especially when the event I'm going to is for someone I know has some body image issues or is competitive or such where I know they do notice what I'm wearing/how I look. While my friends would never ask me to change or anything like that, I also feel like there's nothing wrong with trying to be considerate of others feelings: I can feel just as good wearing something looser and if it gives my friends one less thing to worry about, even better!
I don't think you should always be hiding your new size, but if certain friends are sensitive and you feel comfortable with it, there's nothing wrong with dressing in looser clothing! Also, you're not "showing off" just by wearing clothes that highlight your figure (and there would really be nothing wrong even of you were trying to "show off"). You should just wear what you feel comfortable in, and if that can also make others feel better, that's an added bonus!0 -
I've have friends heavier than I, and fitter/leaner than I. I don't expect anyone to change themselves for me. So, perhaps assume your friends are the same.1
