3+ years post op. How do I return to the honeymoon period?
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loveshoe
Posts: 365 Member
This summer has been a real struggle for me. I've gained 5 more pounds on top of the 5 I generally fluctuate. I'm up 10 pounds from my lost of 103 pounds. I'm struggling to find the motivation I need to get that 5 off. I want to return to the way I felt for the 1st year after surgery. I would have walked through fire to lose just an ounce, now I barely want to get off the sofa and walk 40 ft to my treadmill. I know what the outcome will be if I don't get my butt in gear and do something but I just don't have any motivation.
What has happened to me??
What has happened to me??
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Replies
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@loveshoe You're a great member of this community and I hate to see you struggle. But... I'm going to tell it like it is. There's no going back to the "honeymoon" period. And if you continue to focus on your weight you'll never really be happy. No one, and I repeat, NO ONE gets to "goal", stays there, never gains a pound and lives happily ever after. Weight fluctuates. The lowest I got was around 192. I weigh around 200lbs now. Do you think I care that I've "re-gained"? *kitten* no. I wear the same size pants that I did two years ago. And I can run a Half-Marathon anytime I want. And I'm healthier and happier than ever. And I eat as much as I want. EVERYTHING about my life is BETTER. Because I focus on the POSITIVE. If I cared about my weight and BMI I'd be MISERABLE. My "normal" weight is 173. Give me a break!
I can only say what's worked for me. I put away the scale (haven't weighed since January), I don't count calories, I eat minimally processed foods. I don't take vitamins, worry about water intake, none of that stuff. I try to eat mostly whole foods and exercise regularly. And I'm HEALTHIER and HAPPIER than anytime in my life.5 -
James, you make good points about wearing the same size clothing and feeling better than I have in years. I'm more active now than I've been at any time in my life. Other people see me and say I'm fit but I look in the mirror and see 5 extra pounds.
I think what's holding me back is fear. I'm afraid to stop getting on the scales and focusing on every bite even when I make poor decisions. I always felt like surgery was my last opportunity to get healthy and I just don't want to ruin it this time around. In the past 5 pounds led to 10, to 20, to 40 etc. I'm really just afraid.
Since I posted I have found a walking partner who is also a bariatric patient. It is helping to have someone to talk with that understands the route I took to get where I am today. I'd like that feeling of euphoria back that I had the first two years after surgery. I'm going to work toward acceptance and maybe try weighing weekly instead of daily. I'll also try using the fit of my clothes as a measure of success.
James, thank you for your comments.3 -
@loveshoe I got below goal - from 317 to 138 (138 was skin & bones) - in a couple years after my VSG in 2013. Then I started gaining it back. I gained 40 pounds over four years, it would've been more if I hadn't been fighting it so hard.
In May of this year, I re-discovered lo-carb and was able to successfully get back into that WOE (Way Of Eating). In the four months since then, I lost all my excess weight and am now at 149#. My goal is 145 (I'm tall - 5'9" & 66yr old) plus or minus five pounds. So I'm there. It is do-able.
A successful lo-carb WOE does not mean high fat. Mine is high-protein and normal fat (all "good" fats like olive oil, tree nuts, peanuts, avocados, poultry and fish - I don't eat red meat or dairy). I have perfect LDL/HDL numbers and ratios.
Lo-carb diets can eliminate cravings. So that provides the option to lose weight without having to fight the urge to eat all the time. I chose not to have cheat days and gave up sweets and such. To me losing weight and getting healthy was more important. And now, I don't even want that stuff. There are tons of yummy options in my WOE - it is always satisfying.
Before surgery, my doctors told me to eat (1) protein first (2) veggies next, (3) some oils are essential to absorbing vitamins, (4) and if there's room left in the tiny tummy, sugars and starches (fruit and breads). That is basically a lo-carb diet. Being lo-carb feels a lot like the VSG honeymoon, just more mellow.
BTW, between the weight loss and the (anti-inflammatory, anti-craving, anti-diabetic) lo-carb WOE, a knee replacement and two heart ablations, I have now gotten rid of my my excess weight, heart arrhythmias, edema, arthritis; and no longer take blood thinners. Cancelling the last of my prescriptions (with doctor permissions) at the pharmacy last week felt like a right of passage.
I workout with body weights and dumbbells and walk (can't run cuz of artificial knee) a lot. Walking is such a joy after being deprived of it for many years.
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My 6 year "surgiversary" is coming up--9/27/18. My lowest weight was 139 down from 246. I have gained back up to 160 and feel every pound. I felt best at 150 and struggle to get back there. Is that gain my fault? Absolutely. Somewhere along the line, whether it be stress, financial problems, hurricanes and floods, whatever...I chose the wrong foods and the cravings came back. I tried keto and as a type I diabetic on a pump I nearly killed myself. I work out at the gym about 5-6 times a week, yet the weight is up. I am up from a size 8 to about a 12. At 50 years old I try to tell myself that it's okay. Last thing I want to do is to not live happily. I also don't want to forgo that birthday cake or a cheeseburger when I want one.3
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@loveshoe I feel your pain. 2 1/2 years post op and up 20 lbs from my lowest weight. Like you, I am afraid to never weigh myself or even my food but have found that the weeks where I prepare all of my meals and give myself healthy, but craveable things to eat I can stay on track better.
I also found that there was often times a reason I couldn’t get to the gym or couldn’t complete a whole class. I ditched my gym membership and got a Peloton. Now I can ride whenever I want. I can ride or so their other classes every day multiple times a day if I want but find that I have to listen to my body for days I need a break. I have found after a rest day I can’t wait to get back on and ride.
Hopefully you can find something that works for you and I think it’s awesome you have a walking partner11 -
@loveshoe I can totally relate to how you're feeling. I went from my highest of 280 (a few months pre-op) down to 165 lbs 2 yrs post-op. I was still far from my 'ideal' weight, but my surgeon was satisfied I had lost an acceptable %. Now, 4 -1/2 yrs post-op, I've regained 22 lbs! I'd love to turn back the clock, but that's not possible. Sigh... Despite going mainly WFPB since Jan this year with excellent blood test results & generally feeling much healthier (except for an inflammation 'flare up' 4 mnths ago...virus? low protein? over-exertion?), I haven't re-lost weight. Yo-yo-ing slightly. So frustrating & even scary. 😩 So good you're walking regularly with a partner. Keep it up. I'm going to log intake, start exercising again (walking, dancing, yoga) & sleep more (regularly sleep-deprived). Good luck with your efforts. Let's 'Keep Calm and Enjoy the Journey'! 🙂1
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I had my surgery almost 3 years ago. I have gained 40lbs back. I was 35lbs from my goal and then my mother got sick and died. I've been having a hard time with missing her, a work project for 1 1/2 years that was very stressful and obviously taking in more calories than I need. I don't want to be this heavy. Never give up, I don't plan to, just need to get the magic back!2
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Thank you all for sharing. This month my bariatric center's meeting is focused on the 3+ year struggles. I'll share any insights, tips, etc. that I get from the meeting.4
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I am 5 years post surgery. I agree with James that there really is no going back to the honeymoon period. I have had some regain and struggled in some areas, but overall, I am much healthier, my lifestyle is much healthier, and I know I will probably always have to tweak things to see what works and what doesn't. Basically when I make good food choices and exercise consistently, I get good results.3
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HEY! Just getting back on the wagon myself. The honeymoon is DEFINITELY over! I let things go this past year, and am now refocusing and recommitting to me! That looks different to different people. For me, I absolutely need to log my food, I need to weigh daily, I need to find ways to stay accountable.
Am I comfortable where I am? Yup. Are my clothes fitting? Nope. Would I be comfortable in another five pounds? 10 pounds? Yup. Honestly, I was "comfortable" at 225. Do I want to be 225? Nope.
SO...I stopped swimming, and started weight training again. I have a plan to eventually incorporate three days of full body workouts and two days of swimming, with two days optional/off.
I've started intermittent fasting, which helps control how many calories I can take in, since I'm only eating for 8 hour stretches a day. I'm trying to plan my meals again. I'm going to do a "reset" after Thanksgiving, but with my tweaks thus far, I've lost 5+ lbs this week.
NOW...your post. You talk about motivation. That's within you. I think you need some serious reflection about why you decided you needed the surgery to begin with. I have gone through that over my three years. My initial why changed about 10 months post-op. Since then, it's remained static. I did this for me. I did this because I want to live. And by live, I don't mean sustain. I'm not happy being sedentary. I watch MAYBE 20 hours of TV per week. MAYBE. That's the high end. I like being active. I like being in life. I still have a lot of anxiety issues, and so does my boyfriend, but I work through it.
I'd say set a goal. A realistic goal that matters. Not something generic like, "I want to lose 10 lbs". Why? Why 10? If you lost 9, would that be enough? Would 10 be enough? It may not be completely measurable. Try and find your happy through goal setting. Set your own rules to achieve your goal. "I will not weigh, I will measure my 'weight' through how my clothes fit." Whatever works for you!
Good luck!0 -
I have been away from the site for a while not reading the posts because I failed and continue to fail.... I had bypass in December 2013 and over the past 2 years have gained 40 lbs back, I was 20 lbs from my goal when I started gaining, so I really need to lose 60 lbs. Life happened, taking care of sick loved ones, 2 brothers passing within 6 months of each other, this year diagnosed with cancer. The oncologist told me I need to lose the weight because of the link between obesity and cancer. I hear his words and have tried nutritionists, changing my bad habits, exercise, yet nothing is resonating. Even when the oncologists tells me my life could depend on losing weight. I went back to see the bariatric Dr for help and he did not tell me anything that I did not already know. he gave me the look of if I know what I need to do why did I gain... He was of no help. The group meetings they have are geared toward "newbies", getting surgery of just had it. they whine about not being able to eat, not wanting to eat or throwing up, and I want to slap them, tell them to be grateful for not wanting to eat. I think if only i could go back to those stages. I have been given this gift and have screwed it up. I need motivation, I need someone to help me stay accountable because I can't find it within myself. And that is the problem, I need to find it within me and not rely on anyone because I cant blame anyone but myself. Losing weight is so much more than actually losing it, you also have to lose the negativity in your head. Get rid of the demons. I know all of this, I know putting that pretzel in my mouth will send me down that slippery slope, and yet I ate it...
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@cmcm789 I'm so sorry for your diagnosis. I wish you the best in your treatment.
I would suggest finding a therapist to help you with your food issues. We really cannot be successful if we rely on exterior motivators. They are just a blip in our journey. The true success comes when we realize, and have the drive to do what we need to. If you can't police yourself right now, have someone help you with shopping to make sure what foods are not in your house. But, I would definitely see a therapist. It sounds like you've been through an awful lot lately and it really wouldn't hurt all around.
Good luck!
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Thank you Nicole8740
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Hi! Will be two years VSG anniversary coming up in mid January.
5'6.5"
HW 236
SW 226 (Sleeved 1/12/17)
CW 165
GW 156
The second year was much harder for me than the first year. I adjusted my GW expectations recently. Had hoped to get in 140’s. Saw 149 on the scale for about a minute one day, but my true lowest was 150-152 at a little over a year after surgery.
I developed orthostatic hypotension around that time (a form of low blood pressure that happens when standing up from sitting or lying down). Dizziness mostly, but i got used to it and made sure to grab something to steady myself until it passed. Then I fainted one evening. That’s when I got checked out by a cardiologist and neurologist, and fortunately that’s when the hypotension diagnosis came about. I say fortunately because it wasn’t something more serious. I never had high blood pressure (hypertension), even at my heaviest. Pressure always normal. My VSG surgeon / program never mentioned Hypotension, but apparently it is a thing that some weight loss patients experience, according to my cardiologist and neurologist.
Talking to my VSG surgeon, he said my body may be telling me that 140’s and low 150’s are not a good fit for me. That’s when I recognized after looking at my weight history, I felt best around 156. Even just 5 pounds could make a difference for me.
Now I sort of took this as an opportunity to not beat myself up over gaining a few pounds, but unfortunately I got into the 160’s, and even saw low 170’s a few times. I noticed the dizziness decreased significantly, but going in the wrong direction weight wise.
Benefiting recently from better food choices and a bad upper respiratory illness that decreased my appetite, I sit at 165. I know there is a lot if debate about BMI, but I really want a “normal “ BMI. And a GW of 156 puts me just in normal range. As I hopefully lose 9 more pounds to get there, it will be a good test to see if the hypotension gets worse again. We shall see.
But losing 9 pounds of this re-gain will be hard as I begin year 3. Miss that first year a lot!!! I’ve increased my workouts. Still track daily in MFP. I really need to get back to reading posts in this community. So many of you inpire me and offer great tips. The hard work continues. Happy Holidays!!
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The first year is so easy! But they tell us during our pre op education that this is only a tool. We must use that time to change our habits and relationships with food.
I’ve learned that if we continue to eat the same foods we did before surgery that we will return to the same person who struggled with their weight after surgery. Just because we had surgery doesn’t mean we don’t have to control what we put in our mouths. That’s what newbies can’t seem to get until they’re two years down the road remembering what was said to them about this too.
It takes each one of us making that choice for ourselves everyday and my goodness we are worth it!! We deserve the good that comes from making the better choice!!
I hope you’re doing well now as I know this thread is a few months old!!0
