I agree, @tammyfranks2, that he is amazing. I love the smiles on his after pictures.

I thought that those of us with a long way to go could greatly appreciate the success story of one who has really lost so much. We may be slogging our way throught the mud right now, but it helps to look up to the horizon and see the possibilities and truly believe it can be done. That's what I took from that story.

I'm very concerned about the loose skin result. I live in fear of the dreaded dangling pelican-skin neck. I've talked to my doctor and dietician and Googled late into the night on many nights. Everything I've read on loose skin from weight loss has lead me to the sad conclusion that there is no guaranteed methodology or product one can ingest or use topically.

However, while there are no guarantees, there are some things we can all do proactively to minimize the effect of a large weight loss on our skins.

Here's the list of proactive skin care one can implement:

• 1. genetics (sorry, some of us will just be luckier than others in that we inherited a lovely elastic skin, but the rest of the list is optional and may have a positive effect)
• 2. Lose weight slowly and gradually: 2 lbs/week (or less, actually), and begin building up your muscles in strength and/or resistance exercises so that muscle can fill up the space where the fat used to be.
• 3. stay well hydrated (yup, drink lots of water daily - it really is that important)
• 4. eat a colourful array of fresh fruits and vegetables daily: if you're not eating green, red, orange, and red stuff daily, time to shake up the meal plan
• 5. choose a sulphate-free, detergent-free body/hair wash/cleanser, something that doesn't harshly dry the skin, and lower the shower temperature from scalding hot to luke warm (I recently switched to Dove products. They're inexpensive, and I don't itch from daily use, and my skin isn't drying out like it used to)
• 6. exfoliate regularly: get a loofa or exfoliating gloves and start with an all over body scrubbing once a week and work up to twice a week
• 7. moisturize your face and neck twice a day (morning and night) with a good quality skin cream - did I mention my fear of the pelican-pouch neck?
• 8. moisturize the rest of your body after every shower with a lotion - it really doesn't have to be expensive skin care products either. Choose from lotions that contain ingredients like vitamin A, B5, C or E, or containing shea butter, olive oil, avocado oil. As an added bonus, I find the rather exhaustive effort of slicking on all that lotion after every shower is like a yoga workout.
• 9. supplements and vitamins - not proven to be the least bit effective in studies, I'm very sorry to say, and it probably just results in expensive urine, but if you've got a few bucks to spare, you won't harm yourself by taking fish oil, multi-vitamin, gelatin, collagen, biotin, and some believe those will actually help.

Which reminds me....I need to go moisturize....

Everyone’s support here has been hugely helpful, and as a quick update: I made the cake I wanted to make for my SIL and my MIL even said it looked nice, so I considered it a success. And from a weight loss perspective, I had one piece at the party (strictly for scientific purposes, of course 😉), but then sent the rest home with guests so it wasn’t in my home. My husband talked with his mother and told her that if she couldn’t support my weight loss journey, she would not be welcome in our home because we needed positivity. Between you guys and my husband, I have all the support I could hope for, so thanks.

How about some good news from me for once? lol Hey, even Eeyore caught a break every now and then! *laughs*

So how many conversations start off with "So there's this guy......"

Well, there is this guy that I've been talking with the last week or so Well, exchanging epically long emails with, anyway. And the part that is so amazing is he's still responding and I haven't scared him off yet! This is coming from a gal who has never, in her life, been on a date or even been asked on a date, and only had 2 guys show a spark of interest in her in her 38 years of life. Unfortunately, the first guy was older than my father and wasn't quite all there mentally, and while I cringe at how shallow it sounds, he wasn't exactly attractive to me, either. I was happy to be kind and be a friend, but really, really had to scramble to figure out how to let him down easy when he called me hinting he'd like to go out, especially when he proudly told me all about his grandkids (I was around 29 at the time......) The second flirted across the counter at the local Arby's at me, and seemed interested, especially when his co-worker brazenly asked if I was single and would give him my number. I did give it to him, but the next time I came in, he claimed to text me and wanted to know why I didn't respond. I explained that the number I had given him was a land line so I didn't get the text and had thought he'd call (because I'm old fashioned and not up on the latest trends.....), but apparently that didn't suit him and he quit speaking to me and even started avoiding me whenever I came into the store.

So with that being the only experience I've ever had when it comes to men, you can imagine that, while I admit to shamelessly flirting a little with this guy every time I stopped into the store he works at, my shock when he actually flirted back and then, when I gave him my email address instead when he asked if I was on facebook (because I'm not), he actually sent me an email! I really figured I'd never hear from him. And then he kept responding! Will wonders never cease.......lol

It's been really nice, though it makes this 38 year old feel like a 15 year old girl in trying to figure out the whole mystery of guys, and I'm stumbling around awkwardly like a newborn colt *laughs* I admit, my cynical side is keeping me proceeding with caution because hey, while I like what I've learned from the massive email chains, I suppose he could be feeding me a line (that's the part of me waiting for the other shoe to drop), but I also keep pushing that part down and telling it that yes, I will proceed with caution, but there's nothing wrong in giving people the benefit of the doubt and besides - he's seems to be sincere and is actually apparently interested; so I'm certainly not going to let this chance go buy - heaven knows I've been waiting long enough!

He's mentioned he has tickets to see the Transiberian Orchestra in December and also mentioned he hadn't found anyone to go with him yet, so.........*laughs* If I take him up on the offer and make it a date, its going to be interesting to see my family's reactions!

Though I wince to think of what they are going to think when they find out he's 10 years younger than I am.......

How's everyone planning to handle Thanksgiving? I have no problem measuring etc but how do you log foods someone else made?

Congrats on the fudge

Hi all -

Been feeling crappy overall... holidays, isolation, depression, insomnia (sleep meds only work for a couple days... and things like melatonin actually keep me awake longer), or sleeping too much, etc... all just added up to a crash from most contact.

Went to doctor to get BP medication refills. Talked about attempts to eat better, drink more water, work out more, issues with my depression and struggles with the mental health staff here in my town. She changed a medication, decided her office will make attempts to contact a new psychiatrist themselves to cut out the runaround they give me, and she drew blood. Test results came back yesterday... prediabetic.

Now, I LOVE LOVE LOVE bread 🍞, sweets 🍭, potatoes 🥔, pasta 🍝, cheese 🧀, chocolate 🍫, and did I say bread 🥯? ... and cheese 🧀?!?! First thought - I am screwed!! But got a lot of ideas from a group on Facebook. And found this cookbook to try and get ideas to satisfy the cravings. I just do not enjoy cooking or baking... so it will be interesting.

Ayehmwhy wrote: »

Has anyone else been struggling this December? I find myself feeling bleh a lot and eating more than I normally would.

*waves frantically* me! me! me! lol

but you guys already knew that - this has been my story since this time last year *shrugs*

I was afraid to step on the scale this morning. What with the out to eating this weekend coupled with TOM being around the corner, I just did not want to see what it would read, scared to death I'd be back over 290 lbs

CheezWhiz88 wrote: »

December has been rough for me because of my traveling. I don’t live near my family so during the holidays I am on the road a lot.
@bmeadows380 : We are just about the same age and in my experience, being cautiously optimistic helps. I think it’s a smart thing to protect your heart, and also to remember that no matter what happens, love you first. Because if you do that, you will never settle for a bad relationship just to be in one.

@CheezWhiz88 I've told young ladies within my small circle of influence that for a long time, though I tended to word it like this: "there are much worse things than being single!" I've sure seen that in my family. though I gotta admit, being my age and still single and having never been in a relationship at all still hurts.....

I'm sorry for you that December has been so rough, and I'm hoping things ease up for you in January! I'm at work the rest of this week, but its going to be pretty quiet around here since most other folks took this week off. But I used my vacation hours earlier this year, so here I am! And trying to get back on track after yesterday, because I didn't count at all - just enjoyed myself!

By Monday, my life will be significantly easier because I will no longer be traveling for a while.

I am sorry if people have ever made you feel bad about being single. No one has that right.

Hi everyone! I'm glad to see there's still people in this group. I joined about a year ago? when it first started and then went AWOL. But now I'm back and I'm serious!

Here's my (re)introduction:

I'm Rissa, I'm 31, and I'm 5'8 with a weight of 393 lbs. I've been living in Fantasyland I guess and it's time to wake up. It's really hard to get motivated though because I also struggle with depression and I guess I self-medicate with food. (Gimme that serotonin!) But, the good news is it looks like I weighed 397 in December 2017 last time I started this, so I've got that going for me at least!

@bmeadows380 : I understand what you are saying. I think I just always have to remind myself that regardless of where I am in my life, if my health isn’t prioritized, I slip back into old habits very quickly.

@rabidhamster87 : it’s good to see you back; you’ve been missed

My eating has been healthy but I have stopped stepping on the scale for a bit because I do better when I don’t weigh myself regularly. This past Sunday my husband and I got a big scare. He had been sick for a week and he ran up the street to the walk in clinic. They took his blood pressure and it was 200/120. They sent him to the hospital. This whole time he has been so supportive of my healthy eating, and despite his weight not ballooning like my own, he was battling his own health issues he didn’t even know about. The doctor told me we were incredibly lucky because now we can both be eating right and exercising and he has another chance to get his numbers down. It was a scary wake up call, but I am grateful that we are both re-invigorated to do this journey together because I am not ready to say goodbye.

@RunaMarti I'm 39 and when I graduated highschool, it was a forgone conclusion that you went to college afterwards; that was the attitude in the 90's especially, so I didn't even realize that I actually had a choice in the matter. I really didn't know what I wanted to do and latched onto engineering because it at least wasn't something I hated. I could list all sorts of career fields I knew I wasn't interested in - any kind of medicine, business, law, teaching - but I really had no clue what I was interested in. I had things I liked as hobbies, but nothing that I really wanted to make a career out of; my fear was that by pursuing professional credentials in a hobby area, the hobby would be ruined for me, such as piano. I love playing the piano, but I've talked to those who majored in it in college, and they told me it about ruined piano for them because of the demands of the teaching staff and the rigors of the curriculum. I don't care for classical music, and I like being an accompanist and playing the softer stuff, and a college major in piano would have focused on strict technique and classical style. Music is an outlet for me, and I didn't want to ruin it.

I stuck with engineering because I didn't at least hate it, even though I wasn't really all that interested either, and because I really had no clue what else I would like to do. And now, 20 years later, I STILL don't know what I'd be interested in, and so while I'd love dearly to get out of the engineering field, I have no contacts, no network, want to live a smaller, rural area and hates big cities, so I feel like I'm stuck. Which feeds my depression.......

If I had it to do over again, I'm not sure I would go straight to college out of highschool. Or perhaps I would have looked closer at Bible colleges instead - after all, if a good, Christian girl wants to find a husband, its well known that most Christian young men who attend Bible college do so for 2 reasons - training in the Bible and to find a wife! lol But I had sort of drifted into the idea of an engineering degree, and that's not a field that most Bible colleges offer, so I ended up at an in-state school, where I didn't get a good quality engineering education, which has haunted me ever since.

My mom has this idea that she's told my sister that our jobs should be our life, and when I heard her tell my sister that, it was like a rock settled in my stomach, because I just thought how miserable a life that would be for me. I'm not knocking people who are driven and who get great personal satisfaction out of their job and career; I just know that I'm not one of those people. I get fulfillment and personal satisfaction out of other areas of my life and maintain a job because I need a paycheck and not because I actually enjoy my work. What stinks is that I find myself in a job where my job takes up most of my life, leaving precious little time for things I DO enjoy.........

@RunaMarti Every time I moved, I made sure to find a place that would let me have my cats, even though it was difficult at times - rentals are often reluctant to allow pets, and while I understand why due to abuses by previous renters, its really a big pain! My Dad's comment was "get rid of the cats" to which I quickly and firmly refused - quite adamantly My cats are my kids - perpetual toddlers, I call them - and they do much to brighten my life and I refuse to part with them except under very extreme circumstances. When I take an animal, I make a commitment to them for their life to provide them a safe home, food, shelter, and my affection, and I'm not going to go back on that promise! Especially to my 16 1/2 year old man, who I've had with me since he was 10 weeks old through 3 states and 8 homes now! lol

But I've been blessed in finding places to live, and the only reason I still have my 5 is only because when I moved the last time, it was to a place I was buying and not a rental. And if I was ever in a position that I simply couldn't give them the care they deserved, I would give them up, but it would be very, very hard, so I can sympathize! Perhaps, if things continue to turn around for you, you might be able to get a pet in the future?

Child protective services are so frustrating! I know there are good ones out there who really care for the kids, and I know they are way overworked and underpaid, especially here in WV where the drug epidemic is leading to thousands of kids entering the system, but its heartbreaking the ones who slip through the cracks and remain in volatile situations. You've come so far and really should be proud of yourself for what you have accomplished!

that is the problem I saw too with the educational system - they are quick to get you into a degree program without indicating your career chances with it or without giving the student a complete idea of the field. My best friend was caught in that trap - she majored in history, being told that it didn't matter what she had a degree in, just that she had a degree. She had intended to go on to get a PhD, but found out after graduation that the cost was just incredibly prohibitive - and the career prospects afterwards very limited. The salary for a history professor is horribly low, especially compared to the cost of getting that PhD, and she just coudln't afford it. And she found that employers DO care about what you got a degree in, and even more so, they want experience to go with it. That's what got my sister, too. She got a degree in library science but found that she was either over-qualified for a typical library job which was usually part time, the pay wasn't enough to cover cost of living, or in most cases, a full time applicant was required to have a master's degree and not just a bachelor's. So they are both struggling to pay back student loans for degrees that were essentially worthless. At least mine, even if I don't enjoy the job, adequately provides me a living and the ability to pay back my loan debt!

That was God looking out for you in the case of disability! My dad had the same experience; he broke his back in 2012 and was forced to retire early, then had a pacemaker installed shortly thereafter, and 2 hip replacements. His body is a wreck and he definitely can't work anymore. He retired after 30 years of driving a school bus, but his retirement wasn't enough to cover all expenses, and at the time, he was still too young to draw social security. He applied for disability, and everyone told them they'd need a lawyer and it would take months and multiple applications, but they got through first try without needing the lawyer. God was good to them, that's for sure! And now that he's on social security, the amount of money he was getting didn't change, either, so they can meet their monthly budget.

Yeah, bringing kids into that situation right now wouldn't be good for them. Being I'm a Christian, I won't go get pregnant without having a husband. I could adopt, but that's very expensive and single parenting is very difficult - I don't know if that would be what is best for the child. I've thought a little about fostering, but my brother and his wife went through that process for a while but dropped out because they whole process is horrendous and the rules are just crazy. What's sad to me is they have all these rules in place that are supposed to be for the children's protection, but often fail to protect the kids from bad foster parents and instead exclude folks who might make good foster parents if the rules weren't so difficult to get through.

but who knows? fostering might still be in the cards in the future. Not right now - I'm working on getting myself out of the debt hole I got moving for the company on my own dime and fixing the place up I'm in now, but I'm not going to completely rule the idea out.

meanwhile it is a new year, so here's hoping that you and I both manage to climb a little higher out of the holes we find ourselves in this year! As long as we're alive, there's always hope for a brighter tomorrow, right?

Hi. I can't find where to introduce myself so I thought as I'm looking around I'd say hi here. I'm Jane 52 weighing in at 23st 4lb and finally going to do something about it. I'm in Scotland. Hello.