New to the group so a Hello and small intro

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chunkytfg
chunkytfg Posts: 339 Member
Hi everyone.

long time user on and off of MFP but only really recently have both I and my GF been looking at my eating habits as possibly more than 'lack of self control'.

I binge. Plain and simple.

Sometimes my binges are small and sometimes they are mammoth but none the less they are what I would consider a binge.

Why do I binge? Honestly as much as I try I can't pin point my reason.

I know I was very lonely at school when it all started. I would spend all my pocket money and money i earned cleaning cars and doing a paper round on sweets. Left school at 16 got a job and found myself with even more money than before so basically could afford to binge all the time.

I know Boredom is a big part of things. I work shifts and everything except early shifts are spent alone. My job doesn't involve a huge amount of work as I am on call to fix problems in an area that rarely goes wrong so I have masses of down time in a place with a very easy access to sources of food.

Emotions also play their part be it happy, sad, tired, stressed, or anything else you could think of!

When you do the research on BED you come across those 'how many of these can you say yes to' questionnaires. Normally its 20 or so questions and when i do it and be 100% truthful i find i get 10+ yes's! I eat in secret, I hoard food, I eat past the point of being full, I get headaches with all the sugar, I eat fast, I lie about what i've eaten, i weigh myself obsessively etc etc.

I've never Purged intentionally. I've been sick due to how much i've eaten but not in a fingers down my throat kind of way. I do crazy amounts of exercise as a triathlete but i've always seen it as a sort of excuse to allow myself to binge rather than exercising solely for the purpose of offsetting a binge i've already done(might be arguing semantics here, who knows).

I bought myself a self help book which i've made a start reading to try and help me understand myself a bit more and once my local DR's has actually got me on there system as a new patient I will be making an appointment to try and get a referral to speak to someone propely. The book has resonated with me a lot so far just because so much of it i've done in the past or do currently.

It seems like putting a Name to it has opened my eyes to my choices. I know i'm barely 2 days into things but maybe this is finally me taking the right path to a better happier life.

Anyways, enough about me..... Hello

Replies

  • Nevadaden
    Nevadaden Posts: 971 Member
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    Welcome and hello back to you , @chunkytfg. Much of your story (other than the crazy amounts of exercise) is familiar to me. What book are you reading?
  • chunkytfg
    chunkytfg Posts: 339 Member
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    Hello.

    I'm reading - Reclaiming Yourself from Binge Eating: A Step-By-Step Guide to Healing by Leora Fulvio.

    Still only on the first step of the various exercises the book has you do but just simply admitting to myself i have something other than a lack of will power has had a massive shift in the way i'm thinking about food.
  • Nevadaden
    Nevadaden Posts: 971 Member
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    I will take a look at that one; thank you. I recommend also Brain Over Binge by Kathryn Hansen.
  • KnitOrMiss
    KnitOrMiss Posts: 10,104 Member
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    @chunkytfg

    Good luck to you as you continue on. I have another friend who was an intense athlete and allowed that to give him free rein to eat as he desired. He was diagnosed as a Type 2 Diabetic as a result. So there are real consequences to our actions, no matter how hard we try to convince ourselves otherwise.

    It sounds like education and knowledge will be the key to your success. I hope that you continue on in the same manner!