Underweight, trying to maintain but really scared to stop losing weight.
sefajane1
Posts: 322 Member
Hi, I've suffered with anorexia and bulimia on and off for the past 30 years (I'm 51 now). I've been fine for the last 5 years. I wanted to lose a couple of pounds in February to prepare for 2 big upcoming holidays so that I could enjoy my holiday food and still be a good weight for summer.
Anyway, that couple of pounds has turned into 32.2lbs loss in 4.5 months. I'm now underweight (BMI: 17.5).
I've been trying to eat at maintenance for the last few weeks but it's a struggle. I'm averaging about 1000 cals/day because I just am so scared to see the scale number stop shifting downward and even more terrified of it moving upwards.
I look terrible. I feel terrible. It's impacting on my health and daily life but, I can't bring myself to change it.
I don't want to end up really ill again (I've been in ED units in the UK before. I live in Turkey now though) and I know I should eat more but I just can't.
Can anyone else relate to this?
P.S.
This is the first time that I've admitted to struggling again to anyone so please be gentle with me ☺
Anyway, that couple of pounds has turned into 32.2lbs loss in 4.5 months. I'm now underweight (BMI: 17.5).
I've been trying to eat at maintenance for the last few weeks but it's a struggle. I'm averaging about 1000 cals/day because I just am so scared to see the scale number stop shifting downward and even more terrified of it moving upwards.
I look terrible. I feel terrible. It's impacting on my health and daily life but, I can't bring myself to change it.
I don't want to end up really ill again (I've been in ED units in the UK before. I live in Turkey now though) and I know I should eat more but I just can't.
Can anyone else relate to this?
P.S.
This is the first time that I've admitted to struggling again to anyone so please be gentle with me ☺
4
Replies
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Does anyone ever come here? 😒0
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I think this community might be dead.0
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Hi Jane. How are you doing? I'm sorry you are struggling. What resources have you used to get better?
I recommend therapy and the book "8 Keys To Recovering From An Eating Disorder." You can do it! Don't let the critical voice in your head keep you from happiness.0 -
I know it’s a bit late but if you are currently trying to recover, I would like you to stop looking at the scale. In fact, I need you to never step on a scale ever again. And eat. You eat and if you feel like you don’t want to, remember that your body needs it to function. For example, you told us you were preparing for holidays and what will make it possible for you to enjoy it and be present? Your body.Who will be enjoying the taste of things no matter the calories ? Your body. Recovery is worth it but remember that you should only start healing when you WANT to (to avoid traumatic experiences) and no one can force you into it as long as you’re not ready.0
