Accountability Discussion
NovusDies
Posts: 8,940 Member
I see a lot of people begging for accountability in the main forums. I suppose since I am not really an external accountability type person it does not happen here, at least not yet. It probably also doesn't help that I encourage people to live their lives and be human. I think a good plan has to persist through our ups and downs and it has to transition at some point to maintenance at which time it will just keep going and going (hopefully).
However, just because I am not motivated easily by the external does not mean that we can't do some accountability type threads here. I am for whatever helps as long as it does not involve berating and extreme tough love.
However, just because I am not motivated easily by the external does not mean that we can't do some accountability type threads here. I am for whatever helps as long as it does not involve berating and extreme tough love.
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I would like to know more about these “ spread sheets” and how to maintain and create them...do they help with accountability?...maybe this question should be put some place else....0
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conniewilkins56 wrote: »I would like to know more about these “ spread sheets” and how to maintain and create them...do they help with accountability?...maybe this question should be put some place else....
Logging helps me with personal accountability. The spreadsheet really just helps me with management. Feel free to start a thread about it and those of us that do the spreadsheet thing can offer suggestions.0 -
To be honest I don't really understand what people are wanting when they say "accountability".1
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I joined one of the daily weigh in the challenges section of the main forums for accountability. It's more internal than external though, I just feel like I need to make my daily post so I do so. If I were to stop, I don't think anyone would reach out to me asking where the hell I was
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I don’t know if it’s the accountability or the “ pat on the head “..... you can really only be accountable to yourself....if you cheat on your diary logging, no one knows but you....maybe it comes from the guilt or shame of “ cheating “ “ over eating “ and we need to be forgiven for our sinful deeds! LoL0
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I definitely feel that the only person that I can really be accountable to is myself, but that alone is important because I have to live with myself.
I have found a weekly check in thread can be nice though. it helps me keep track of progress on a broader scale.
I had an amusing conversation with my partner the other day. I brought him home a treat from the farmers market (pumpkin bread!) and he asked if I wanted some, to which I said I'd already had a scone so no thanks. he said something like, "I thought you were avoiding pastries?" which irked me a little since 1) scones definitely aren't pastries (no pastry!), 2) I have made it a point not to forbid anything (rather to pay attention to cals, and satisfy craving in a reasonable way), and 3) I don't really need judgement calls here, since I've been making progress for months now. that is, all evidence indicates I'm doing ok with my food choices.
in summary, I'd rather not have someone else judging/analysing my food choices, but I can see how having cheer-buddies could be helpful in keeping myself accountable.2 -
Jackie9003 wrote: »To be honest I don't really understand what people are wanting when they say "accountability".
I assume it is in the vein of weight watchers or TOPS where you go once a week and weigh then everyone knows how you did for the week. Some people may want to be critiqued if they go up on weight. The problem with that, of course, is that weight fluctuates up even when you have been perfectly "good" for a week.
I am a trend person. For me my rate of loss is the most important number. I like to see a new low weight on the scale but my trend is how I know that everything I am doing is mostly going the way I intend (other than NSVs of course).
I would not want to be too reliant on external anything because I am alone with my food choices much of the time. That is not to say it would not work for others. I have heard people say that weekly meetings and being accountable was the driving force behind their success. I am not wired that way which is the reason for this thread.
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Jackie9003 wrote: »To be honest I don't really understand what people are wanting when they say "accountability".
I assume it is in the vein of weight watchers or TOPS where you go once a week and weigh then everyone knows how you did for the week. Some people may want to be critiqued if they go up on weight. The problem with that, of course, is that weight fluctuates up even when you have been perfectly "good" for a week.
I am a trend person. For me my rate of loss is the most important number. I like to see a new low weight on the scale but my trend is how I know that everything I am doing is mostly going the way I intend (other than NSVs of course).
I would not want to be too reliant on external anything because I am alone with my food choices much of the time. That is not to say it would not work for others. I have heard people say that weekly meetings and being accountable was the driving force behind their success. I am not wired that way which is the reason for this thread.
I agree. I think it has to do with a WW style where they want somewhere to "check in" but also... I had a friend who did WW and she would just skip the meeting if she knew things had gone poorly... so who keeps them accountable to having a check in...
I personally think the only person that can hold myself accountable is myself. I made goals and I alone know the full extent of those goals and I know when I'm "cheating" myself on those goals. Whether that's not tracking or skipping a workout... I don't see how anyone outside of myself can hold me accountable to those things? Can they be supportive? sure. but ultimately it's up to me.1 -
I definitely feel that the only person that I can really be accountable to is myself, but that alone is important because I have to live with myself.
I have found a weekly check in thread can be nice though. it helps me keep track of progress on a broader scale.
I had an amusing conversation with my partner the other day. I brought him home a treat from the farmers market (pumpkin bread!) and he asked if I wanted some, to which I said I'd already had a scone so no thanks. he said something like, "I thought you were avoiding pastries?" which irked me a little since 1) scones definitely aren't pastries (no pastry!), 2) I have made it a point not to forbid anything (rather to pay attention to cals, and satisfy craving in a reasonable way), and 3) I don't really need judgement calls here, since I've been making progress for months now. that is, all evidence indicates I'm doing ok with my food choices.
in summary, I'd rather not have someone else judging/analysing my food choices, but I can see how having cheer-buddies could be helpful in keeping myself accountable.
I would definitely find that irksome. That is a good reason not to invite outside criticisms because so many people have the wrong idea of how weight is lost. It seems most people believe it requires eliminating certain foods. The other thing is you can't go by a snapshot. If you looked at last Thurs. it looks like I ate nearly 400 calories over maintenance. For the day that is true. For the week I created about 1400 calories of deficit. Not much weight loss there but then that wasn't a goal last week. Last week I was experimenting to see if I believed I was ready to start losing again.
But I think you hit the nail on the head in another way. I think it is very important that we eventually outgrow any early anxieties. I don't want to be too arrogant and fail to learn new things or fail to adapt when/if needed but I want to feel confident that I have a handle on this because I am going to be eating for the rest of my life. I can't live in fear of calories or the scale. That kind of thing always made me too strict in the past and it always led to failure.2 -
Jackie9003 wrote: »To be honest I don't really understand what people are wanting when they say "accountability".
I assume it is in the vein of weight watchers or TOPS where you go once a week and weigh then everyone knows how you did for the week. Some people may want to be critiqued if they go up on weight. The problem with that, of course, is that weight fluctuates up even when you have been perfectly "good" for a week.
I can see how that would work, I used to go to a class but I paid good money for the privelege and got some expert advice, it kept me focused most of the time but I don't think it would work for me on here.
I think strangers on the Internet virtually tutting because I didn't lose, or had more calories than my allowance would drive me mad.2 -
IMHO it’s about learning and supporting each other as we experience our own trials and tribulations towards a “common” goal to improve our health in some way shape or form. How that translates is different for everyone. For some, group accountability is nice, for others general discussions are great.1
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I tried the 3rd party accountability route with a nutritionist a few years ago.. When i had bad weeks, all I felt was shame so I actually did worse so it's not for me... Maybe that makes me odd.. I dont know..1
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kosseychick wrote: »I tried the 3rd party accountability route with a nutritionist a few years ago.. When i had bad weeks, all I felt was shame so I actually did worse so it's not for me... Maybe that makes me odd.. I dont know..
I think it is fair to say that I wasn't doing so well when I was accountable to a medical deadline for weight loss. I believe that it is because I allow myself to eat maintenance on any day I feel the need is the reason I hardly ever need to do it anymore. When I feel caged up it makes me want to break free and eat more food. I consider it a childish thing that I do but it appears to be part of my personality that does not seem to be going anywhere. I think a flaw that can be worked around is not that bad of a flaw so no sense in trying to fix every part of me that I may not like.1 -
I've done the weekly group sessions and it helped to a certain extent. I liked the comaraderie and seeing everybody's wins and helping them through the bad stuff but ultimately it was completely up to me. I went to group regardless of good weeks or bad weeks and it never took until I wanted to do it.
Currently, my Mom thinks she talked me into giving up pop and candy but I had already done it two weeks before. Now whenever I talk to her she asks how I'm doing and doesn't necessarily believe me when I tell her no candy yet. What's the harm in letting her think she talked me into a healthier lifestyle.2 -
Nothing. You know the actions you are taking to make yourself healthier and really that’s all that matters.1
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I think what we get here is what people are asking for. They say accountability when they mean support. 💙💙1
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Support is great and most people on MFP are very supportive.im just not interested in people tsking me if I made a bad choice. Last time i checked I'm a grown woman..lol2
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A Plug for Accountability: So, before I met up with you fine folks at LL I spent quite a bit of time "lurking" on various group sites and chats (and not joining). I found a group I really like, they are called the Ultimate Accountability Challenge and it runs monthly.
The reason this particular group appealed to me is that the premise is simple, do three things: 1) Log your food, 2) Eat at or under your calorie goal, and 3) Exercise for 20 minutes per day. There are some other details, but in a nutshell, I learned to start to change my behaviors that worked for my goals towards better health. The accountability part was to post daily on the group site.
This is how I try to manage each of my days going forward and while I am not always successful I have changed my behaviors to have more accountable days than not.
Pam2
