A chat for the T and +

24

Replies

  • landryferguson
    landryferguson Posts: 42 Member
    Hi all,
    I'm genderdluid nonbinary leaning towards agender or masc most days. Please add me if you're in this thread, I would love to have more trans+ friends who are trying to lose weight as well. My weight keeps fluctuating and it's really hard to lose weight but I think once I lose some weight it will really help me not feel quite so dysphoric because the guy shirts I want to wear don't sit right over my tummy even when I'm binding and that sucks.
  • VictorSmashes
    VictorSmashes Posts: 169 Member
    boldknee wrote: »
    Question for the group: How do you feel about body hair?
    Personally, I would be happy if every bit other than my head, eyebrows, and eyelashes disappeared. I was curious if this was just a me thing or something other non-binary, quenderqueer, etc people felt too.

    I keep falling out of checking this thread but YES. I just shaved my legs and I feel so clean. I sometimes shave my arms but I hate the stubble that grows out, and it makes me feel dirtier. I have dense, dark body hair and sometimes I feel like I need to go get it professionally waxed. As it is, I epillate my legs.
    Hi all,
    I'm genderdluid nonbinary leaning towards agender or masc most days. Please add me if you're in this thread, I would love to have more trans+ friends who are trying to lose weight as well. My weight keeps fluctuating and it's really hard to lose weight but I think once I lose some weight it will really help me not feel quite so dysphoric because the guy shirts I want to wear don't sit right over my tummy even when I'm binding and that sucks.

    Hiya! I feel this so much. Welcome to the thread-- I don't check in here often because of school, depression, and falling off the wagon A LOT but I'll still come back in once in a while heh. I'll add ya, 'cause I feel like we need to be there for each other. I've looked into potentially buying spanx for my own stomach, but I'm worried that if I do, it'll give me reason to give up on trying to lose it. However, it's an option for you. When I first had top surgery, I got really dysphoric and dysmorphic about my large stomach, and living in the closet as a woman means a lot of presumptions that I'm pregnant (yuck), so I feel you!
  • bold_rabbit
    bold_rabbit Posts: 1,198 Member
    Hi, me again!

    What kinda underwear do you wear? Not being creepy, just curious what others wear. I keep getting ads for Jockey Y-front and boyshorts here on MFP. I've bought boyshorts once but they rolled up like crazy and had seams in weird places, so that was a failure even though I liked how they looked. My fav right now are hipsters from Exofficio. They are like very short boyshorts, but without any leg roll-up issues. Cost a fortune, though, even when on great sales. I get them more for their great wicking properties because I walk a lot and live in a climate not suitable for humans most of the year 😁.
  • bold_rabbit
    bold_rabbit Posts: 1,198 Member
    boldknee wrote: »
    Hi, me again!

    What kinda underwear do you wear? Not being creepy, just curious what others wear. I keep getting ads for Jockey Y-front and boyshorts here on MFP. I've bought boyshorts once but they rolled up like crazy and had seams in weird places, so that was a failure even though I liked how they looked. My fav right now are hipsters from Exofficio. They are like very short boyshorts, but without any leg roll-up issues. Cost a fortune, though, even when on great sales. I get them more for their great wicking properties because I walk a lot and live in a climate not suitable for humans most of the year 😁.

    I mistyped. It's the Exofficio hipkini that I like!
  • landryferguson
    landryferguson Posts: 42 Member
    boldknee wrote: »
    Hi, me again!

    What kinda underwear do you wear? Not being creepy, just curious what others wear. I keep getting ads for Jockey Y-front and boyshorts here on MFP. I've bought boyshorts once but they rolled up like crazy and had seams in weird places, so that was a failure even though I liked how they looked. My fav right now are hipsters from Exofficio. They are like very short boyshorts, but without any leg roll-up issues. Cost a fortune, though, even when on great sales. I get them more for their great wicking properties because I walk a lot and live in a climate not suitable for humans most of the year 😁.

    I normally wear seamless underwear from Ross that are kinda silky feeling or seamless underwear from Target. I can't stand weird seams lol.
  • tcunbeliever
    tcunbeliever Posts: 8,270 Member
    I wear string thongs during the day, and bikini cuts at night or with those dresses that just cannot seem to stay out of my butt crack...I usually buy mine from amazon...there are so many options, and I love the customer reviews...plus, I'm a bit geeky so end up with bunches of super heroes and disney patterns. Lately I've gotten some bikini cuts that have a wide stretchy lace on the leg bands and waist...I'm loving how those both look and also seem to stay in place and not roll.

    The only boy shorts I really loved were Hanky Panks, and those are super pricey so I only owned one pair that I got for a special occasion dress...to be fair, they are about 5 years old now and starting to fall apart, but that's a long time for stretchy lace to last.
  • VictorSmashes
    VictorSmashes Posts: 169 Member
    I used to be boxer-briefs all the way, until I went on vacation in spring and bought ExOfficio “give-n-go” men’s briefs. Got me back into brief style. I gave in and bought hip-style women’s underwear and wear those most days. I still think boxer-briefs are great for thigh rub, but only if I invested in new ones, since they wear out quickly.

    So briefs, specifically those exofficio and Hanes moisture wick hip “panties.” I also hate box cut or boyshort cut, because I also find they either roll or dig in, or don’t cover enough of my Latin *kitten*.

    Good question!

    I have a clothing question for those who are overweight, still wear bras sometimes (perhap in the closet in some sitches?), and either: a) have had top surgery, or b) have disproportionately small breasts.... Where do you shop for bras?

    Background: My transition is on halt, I’ve had top surgery, and my chest (albeit fat) is certainly masculine, plus nipples showing is a problem. But they dont make 40AA anywhere.

    I’m stuck on sports bras which are too narrow for the straps, and tank tops or camis, which roll up since I’m now a pear.
  • tcunbeliever
    tcunbeliever Posts: 8,270 Member
    I am lucky enough to have a real bra shop locally for unusual sizes...Kiss & Makeup in Richmond, VA...I'm not sure where you are located but I'm sure they will ship if you don't have a bra shop locally.

    I have had very minimal success with bras on Amazon...even when the brand and size is one I have purchased before the sizing is not consistent from Amazon like it is from the bra shop...I suspect the Amazon bras are fakes from overseas and that's the reason they are off.
  • bold_rabbit
    bold_rabbit Posts: 1,198 Member
    I've been so tempted by boxer briefs - they look comfy. But being, unfortunately, curvy at every size, I don't know that any would fit.

    Also can't help on the bra question. The day my mom said I couldn't run around shirtless anymore like my brother was one of those both sad and confusing days in my childhood. And when she said I had to wear bras...😫.

    Still a C cup no matter how thin I am.
  • VictorSmashes
    VictorSmashes Posts: 169 Member
    Tcunbeliever,
    I will try to find a bra shop. Or balls to start transitioning in this rural town. (Fortunately we have resources, unfortunately we also still have an ABUNDANCE of backward hicks.)

    Bold_rabbit,
    I totally feel that. I’ve always been curvy, no thigh gap, etc etc even when I was 100 lbs. I size up for boxer briefs, haven't gone below XL even while losing weight in that area, because of my hips and thighs themselves.

    For bras, before surgery I had a much smaller ribcage, but that meant my chest was 34-36G, or what I actually wore was 40DD, with the chest brought in, and the cups still weren’t big enough. Bras are a nightmare!
  • tcunbeliever
    tcunbeliever Posts: 8,270 Member
    Hang in there!
  • bold_rabbit
    bold_rabbit Posts: 1,198 Member
    I'm sitting at the salon where I used to get my hair cut. Then my husband gave it a try and I found out that the "XX tax" here is an extra $15 for a haircut. My husband still comes, but I started going to Great Clips. I hate getting charged more just for being assigned female at birth! And my hair is cut all one length, so easier than his standard man layered cut.

    I also buy plenty of products sold officially for men (like razors) if they are a better deal. What about you?
  • tcunbeliever
    tcunbeliever Posts: 8,270 Member
    I have had the same lady cutting my hair for a couple decades now...she doesn't charge extra for female, but does charge extra for longer hair...so when mine is shorter than shoulder length it's cheaper than when it's longer than shoulder length...I totally agree that it sucks when things are more $$ just for XX...like, my underwear is tiny, why does it cost as much for one pair as for a 5 pack of guys underwear...and women's flannel PJ pants are identical to guys, except for the missing pockets, but generally twice the price...so yeah, I totally buy the men's PJ pants...and shirts for that matter because I'm broad in the shoulders and men's shirts fit better, it's a bonus that they are cheaper and better quality than women's blouses. Men's deodorant is another of my favorites...women's stuff just never works for me, plus tends to make me break out...I don't shave anymore, I use an epilator, but when I did shave, men's razors and shaving cream all the way...
  • I'm 46 and I "round down to cis" as I put it. My girlfriend is trans and she says that part of what attracted her to me is my masculine energy and those elements in my nature. They are not enough for me to quite say I'm bigendered or genderqueer, but too much for me to entirely roll it into cis. So I just allow that I round down to cis.

    I'm dating both a genderqueer person who largely operates as male, and a trans woman. I'm the most butch of the lot, which amuses us all greatly.

    I will say that my reasons for losing weight (apart from "my arthritis will feel a lot better the less I weigh") are things we hear more from men; I want to work out and be powerful and athletic and sexy because of that, and it's hard to do carrying an extra person around.
  • tcunbeliever
    tcunbeliever Posts: 8,270 Member
    Welcome to the party!!!

    B)
  • BeGrandLike
    BeGrandLike Posts: 187 Member
    Hello!

    I'm 37, nonbinary and.. well, yup, I'm here. I'm obviously here partially to lose weight and all that, but I also love lifting heavy things and I think I would really love to have a body that visibly looks stronger, if ya get what I mean?

    And it's lovely to be here :)
  • bold_rabbit
    bold_rabbit Posts: 1,198 Member
    Hello @theleadmare and @BeGrandLike. Feel free to ask a question, rant, share insights, etc. It's nice to hang with people who understand us just a little bit better.
  • VictorSmashes
    VictorSmashes Posts: 169 Member
    On bras... Found one that fits but I wore it all day one day this week and came home with dermatographic lines where the band was. smh.

    @bold_rabbit I am totally conscious of the pink tax! I look for items that are neutral usually. I don't pay for gendered services tbh. I cut my own hair, for example. Which I've been trying to grow out, but the intense feeling of needing to cut it for ease of taking care of it is starting to overwhelm again. But I love long hair! Makes me feel more masc/butch xD I've been struggling with growing it out for 3 years now, but I just have to do it.

    Welcome @theleadmare and @BeGrandLike!! I don't get on here often but I'm glad to see y'all here.

    theleadmare: I love that term "rounding down" to cis. I feel like I do that a lot in life.
    BeGrandLike: I absolutely love being strong and looking strong, too. Slowly but surely getting there.
  • KoolGeex
    KoolGeex Posts: 11 Member
    Hey there!! Just a ftm in Ohio looking to drop some weight and gain some muscle as I anticipate "The Teet Yeet" aka top surgery this year (hopefully). I'm struggling though lol. I love French fries but my diabetes doesnt! (._. )
  • VictorSmashes
    VictorSmashes Posts: 169 Member
    @KoolGeex Ahhhh! Congrats!! That is a very exciting news, and good luck! It's definitely a good idea to lose weight before that surgery. I didn't, and while I don't entirely regret it (I definitely wouldn't be where I am today if I hadn't done it), my results would be a lot different. I definitely need a revision in the future. I love french fries too. Perhaps you could try a different kind? Have you had sweet potato "fries" that are baked? Totally not the same, but the potatoey-ness hits similarly. Obviously eat only what you can, but looking for alternatives can sometimes curb the craving.