A chat for the T and +
Replies
-
Hang in there!0
-
I'm sitting at the salon where I used to get my hair cut. Then my husband gave it a try and I found out that the "XX tax" here is an extra $15 for a haircut. My husband still comes, but I started going to Great Clips. I hate getting charged more just for being assigned female at birth! And my hair is cut all one length, so easier than his standard man layered cut.
I also buy plenty of products sold officially for men (like razors) if they are a better deal. What about you?0 -
I have had the same lady cutting my hair for a couple decades now...she doesn't charge extra for female, but does charge extra for longer hair...so when mine is shorter than shoulder length it's cheaper than when it's longer than shoulder length...I totally agree that it sucks when things are more $$ just for XX...like, my underwear is tiny, why does it cost as much for one pair as for a 5 pack of guys underwear...and women's flannel PJ pants are identical to guys, except for the missing pockets, but generally twice the price...so yeah, I totally buy the men's PJ pants...and shirts for that matter because I'm broad in the shoulders and men's shirts fit better, it's a bonus that they are cheaper and better quality than women's blouses. Men's deodorant is another of my favorites...women's stuff just never works for me, plus tends to make me break out...I don't shave anymore, I use an epilator, but when I did shave, men's razors and shaving cream all the way...1
-
I'm 46 and I "round down to cis" as I put it. My girlfriend is trans and she says that part of what attracted her to me is my masculine energy and those elements in my nature. They are not enough for me to quite say I'm bigendered or genderqueer, but too much for me to entirely roll it into cis. So I just allow that I round down to cis.
I'm dating both a genderqueer person who largely operates as male, and a trans woman. I'm the most butch of the lot, which amuses us all greatly.
I will say that my reasons for losing weight (apart from "my arthritis will feel a lot better the less I weigh") are things we hear more from men; I want to work out and be powerful and athletic and sexy because of that, and it's hard to do carrying an extra person around.3 -
Welcome to the party!!!
1 -
Hello!
I'm 37, nonbinary and.. well, yup, I'm here. I'm obviously here partially to lose weight and all that, but I also love lifting heavy things and I think I would really love to have a body that visibly looks stronger, if ya get what I mean?
And it's lovely to be here
3 -
Hello @theleadmare and @BeGrandLike. Feel free to ask a question, rant, share insights, etc. It's nice to hang with people who understand us just a little bit better.2
-
On bras... Found one that fits but I wore it all day one day this week and came home with dermatographic lines where the band was. smh.
@bold_rabbit I am totally conscious of the pink tax! I look for items that are neutral usually. I don't pay for gendered services tbh. I cut my own hair, for example. Which I've been trying to grow out, but the intense feeling of needing to cut it for ease of taking care of it is starting to overwhelm again. But I love long hair! Makes me feel more masc/butch xD I've been struggling with growing it out for 3 years now, but I just have to do it.
Welcome @theleadmare and @BeGrandLike!! I don't get on here often but I'm glad to see y'all here.
theleadmare: I love that term "rounding down" to cis. I feel like I do that a lot in life.
BeGrandLike: I absolutely love being strong and looking strong, too. Slowly but surely getting there.1 -
Hey there!! Just a ftm in Ohio looking to drop some weight and gain some muscle as I anticipate "The Teet Yeet" aka top surgery this year (hopefully). I'm struggling though lol. I love French fries but my diabetes doesnt! (._. )2
-
@KoolGeex Ahhhh! Congrats!! That is a very exciting news, and good luck! It's definitely a good idea to lose weight before that surgery. I didn't, and while I don't entirely regret it (I definitely wouldn't be where I am today if I hadn't done it), my results would be a lot different. I definitely need a revision in the future. I love french fries too. Perhaps you could try a different kind? Have you had sweet potato "fries" that are baked? Totally not the same, but the potatoey-ness hits similarly. Obviously eat only what you can, but looking for alternatives can sometimes curb the craving.3
-
@VictorSmashes Yea you're right. Alternatives may have to be my go-to. I'm glad to hear you be honest about your top surgery. I feel kinda feel the same way. Of course i'm like "the sooner the better PLEASE!" but i also know deep inside if it doesn't look how i want it to, i may be a little sad. So may as well put the work in now i reckon! How much did you weigh when you had surgery? I feel like i need to lose about 45-50lbs to really see what i want to see. ...and that sounds daunting.1
-
FtM here. 40. Married toactive duty AF. Top surgery coming up early March. Got scheduled quite quickly; so taking this 30 days to bulk up in the chest and drop a few of the dysphoria depression lbs I’ve accumulated the past couple years. So excited to get back to the gym after healing up.
Used to go but then- all the awkward.1 -
@KoolGeex The other thing you should consider is investing in spices. I would assume you don't want too much salt either so putting things like more garlic powder and rosemary (+ others for complexity) or something like that would make a difference. I can't remember exactly how much I weighed. I think it was 200-210 lb and I'm 5'1". Like I said, I was grateful and I don't regret it, although I do wish I had lost weight beforehand.
@MackRey That's very cool! Can I ask what interested you in the Air Force? I definitely can get behind toning up beforehand and dropping some weight. I've heard that it helps with healing, too, although I don't know how scientific that is.
By the way, welcome, both of ya.1 -
Bras are always a struggle. One of the things I'm looking forward to is losing some volume there. Started at a 40F, which is entirely unnecessary. Currently at a 38DDD, but I'll go lower happily. A C, maybe even a D. I know finding the right bra will still be a struggle but I'll have access to more bras so maybe that will make it easier. Extenders are a blessing, if you haven't tried them, do. I have mine right now barely extended, more for the elastic right there, to let me expand a bit as the day goes on. I'll lose a bit more and that won't be supportive, but right now it helps since I'm kind of a 38.5 instead of a 38.0
-
I have had mixed luck with Amazon and bras...typically the sizing is all over the place...however, since they allow customer input for that I will dig through the comments and try to find someone who is close to my size and then order whatever fit for them.
My actual bra size is a 30F, however, I needed a new strapless and didn't have time to get to the bra store, so I picked up a $15 one on amazon in a 32F...the band is perfect, the cups are a bit on the small size, more like an E.5 instead of an F, but it will work for now.0 -
Is anyone here good with figuring out sizing from male to female sizes and knowing how to pick what works for me?0
-
Depends on the clothing item.
For shoes mens sizes are 2 larger than womens (a women's 9 is a men's 7).
For most clothing it's either the same size or one size down from M to F. I wear a size small men's shirt, but a medium women's, typically.
Pants for men are more measurement based (waist/length)...I think last I checked I was a 28/36 in men's pants, but in women's I'm a 3 tall or 4 tall, and many times even the "tall" sizes are only a 32" inseam and still too short for me. Women's odd sizes are junior sizes and cut a little smaller, even sizes are adult sizes and usually a bit roomier in hips and thighs. In all cases the cut of the pants or the brand can make a huge difference in sizing.
In dresses I'm usually a 4 in actual fit, but I frequently have to buy a 6 and take in the waist in order to get the length right.
There's a huge amount of inconsistency between clothing sizes even with the same brand, but across brands it's even worse.
As for fit - some of that is just pure opinion and comfort...generally...
Umpire waists are designed to fit the ribcage under the bust, near where the bra band would be.
A-line and most other styles are designed to fit the natural waist - which is typically about 2" above the belly button, but that's just an average, it's wherever your waist is smallest if you have a clearly defined waist (not everyone does)
For pants low waist pants will accent the belly and shorten the torso, high waist pants will accent the hips and legs
Short folks with high waist pants and short tops usually look amazing...that same look is kind of atrocious on me because I'm already super leggy so it makes me look very unbalanced...I look better in tops that come at least to my hips...long shirts are totally something I can pull off and look good in without looking like I'm in a dress.
In many ways it's about just trying things on and taking pictures. And it's much more about fit than style...a poorly fitting outfit in a flattering style will look worse on most people than a properly fitting outfit in a less flattering style.
Most dress clothes should fit snug, but not tight...you should be able to sit and bend without the clothing pulling or bunching in weird ways. Shoulder seams should hit right on the corner of the shoulder unless you have some kind of non-standard clothing seam. Jackets should be fitted, but not pulled tight across the chest.0 -
So what you are saying is that it really is something that I just need to go and try on to see what fits and what I like? That is what i have always been avoiding.1
-
Why are you avoiding that?
Is there someone you trust that you can bring to be supportive?0 -
I am not sure. I just haven't felt comfortable to go to the dressing room with an arm full of women's clothes so far.
Unfortunately I don't.1 -
Well, if you want to order online and try clothes on in the comfort of your own home, there's plenty of stuff to choose from on Amazon - just be sure to pick up things that can be returned, so you don't get stuck with the things that don't fit or that you don't like.
Online shopping definitely makes it possible to avoid dressing rooms entirely!1 -
You can do a lot with measurements, too. Most sites are good about measurements for clothing, although I find that many in the US are a bit bigger than the measurements say. So, for me*, my measurements usually are a small in women's tops, but x-smalls often fit better.
Most companies are good with returns as long as tags are still on and the item hasn't obviously been worn. I know lots of people who never try on clothes in stores and only order online.
If you have the money, companies like stitch fix or trunk club might be able to help you find good options.
* I usually have to buy boys clothes for masculine/non-binary items, being both short and small.3 -
My adult child's spouse is coming out as non-binary! I'd been wondering based on recent changes in clothing and accessory choices.1
-
@Chocolate_is_my_Kryptonite
Hey and welcome. (First off, sorry I only come around every once in a while, my mental health is down a hole.)
I'm sorry you don't feel comfortable in dressing rooms. I don't either and I also hate the idea of shopping online and getting the wrong size. But that just means I don't get a lot of clothes or I buy clothes the wrong size, with the hope that I can tailor it in. There are sewing and fashion communities on Youtube you might find helpful if you end up going that route. I don't go that fancy with fitting, just hemming mostly, sometimes bringing in pieces that are too large. I did recently take in a 3XL jacket to ~XL so drastic changes are possible if you're ready and willing.
The other option is as @bold_rabbit said, perhaps you do just go ahead and order online and send back what you don't like.
I do kind of stand by the idea of tailoring your own clothes as department store items are created to fit the idea of a human, not to fit individuals. A proper fitting article of clothing usually needs tailored to be that way.
No matter what, I hope you have found something that has helped you. I realize your comments were a couple of months ago.0 -
Okay here's a very related topic that I only really want trans and nonbinary people to answer (so that's why I'm throwing it in here): What do y'all feel about all these threads that are "women only" or "men only" as trans or nonbinary people?
I realize that the fitness world is a broad spectrum of straights and cis people. Of course I'm asking because I don't identify as a woman but I can't help by identify with having a more "female" body since I haven't taken hormone replacement therapy and I'm a pretty curvy and obese latinx. Now, I am uncomfortable in both mens and womens groups, and women are certainly uncomfortable with me in them, too, but I still feel more inclined to women's groups partially because of my genes and partially because of toxic masculinity. Anyway, your thoughts?
*Again, I throw trans in even though a trans woman is a woman and a trans man is a man. And nonbinary as separate because some nonbinary people don't identify as trans (I do).0 -
Hey, I’m Blue, I just joined. I’m ftm/non-binary, I have top surgery about 2 years ago, and have been on low-dose testosterone for about 18 months, so if anyone has questions about that let me know!
I’m happy with my weight as is, but I’m trying to be more regular with exercise and eating better, especially now I’m stuck at home all the time.... 1 -
@blueismyrealname Hi Blue!! Welcome! As you can see we're kind of a ghost town but I pop in every once in a while, as do others. Congrats to the surgery and the T. I have been longing more and more for testosterone but alas, it's not the answer to everything haha (for me specifically!).
What kinds of exercises pique your interest? I started running (jogging) recently, and as a never-before-runner I am literally starting from scratch. It's horrible and I love it.0 -
/beenawhile
I am back here - hit a bad mental health spot that almost got me into hospital, so that took priority. Now back to goal. Good thing is I didn't gained back as much as I had before, so at least I don't start full from scratch. Also my new work allows me more freetime to a, exercise and b, cook. Current goal: try a month without meat and as little sugar as possible.3 -
Hey there, I'm Sam and I'm FtM at the start of my journey, mainly masc with a dollop of genderqueer for flavor. I've been on the lose weight/celebrate/gain it all back cycle forever, but I'm hoping with top surgery as a carrot I'll really stick to it this time.
I'm 5'1" and 190lbs. My max weight was 203lbs a couple of years back, and my lowest was 135lbs a few years before that. This go-around I'm trying to focus less on the scales and more on eating right and exercising to make my body look good.
Feel free to add me, I need more friends on here.1 -
Hello everyone, I'm Adam. I'm trans masculine but I'm pre-everything right now so my body doesn't have the testosterone needed for working out/eating to affect me like it would a cis guy. So I kind of hover between male and female on what works for me. I'm here to lose weight for health reasons and to be better prepared for top surgery.1
