Comments/Questions From Others

NovusDies
NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
I am not a fan of people commenting or asking me questions but it is still worth discussing.

The most popular question I get is not what I would have expected. It is not "How much weight have you lost?" It is "Do you feel better?" or some variant of that question. Luckily that is a question I am willing to answer.

I do get asked how much I have lost. My standard reply is "More than a little, less than a ton." It is not a satisfying answer and I have gotten scowls over it.

The one I actually did like was "The incredible shrinking man"

The most recent:
"The wind is going to blow you away."

I do not like to be told I am looking good. I guess because I see me naked. I am not especially hard on myself. I do look better with clothes on but I am not content so my reply to that is usually "I am getting there."

Most often my reply is just "Thanks" because it is not a good trait to be completely unable to take a compliment.

Some of you probably enjoy getting compliments. This is open for all discussion. Just because I am a curmudgeon doesn't mean I expect anyone else to be. lol.

Replies

  • merph518
    merph518 Posts: 701 Member
    edited February 2020
    I seem to get a lot more comments this year than last, mostly at work. I can think of four different instances today alone.

    I guess since I started talking about it some, talk has spread around the office and people are more comfortable bringing it up with me. I don't really mind questions or compliments at all... though I try not to eye roll too often when constantly asked what my "secret" is.

    There's no secret, it's just willpower and a calorie deficit.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    I can't think of a single time someone has asked me "my secret" and liked the answer I gave. It is not sexy enough for anyone regardless of how much weight I have lost.

    Many women assume that my answer works ONLY because I am a man and even though it has taken me 30 years to finally get it done - men lose weight easier than women. While there is some minor truth to it we still lose weight at 3500 calories per pound.
  • maiomaio71
    maiomaio71 Posts: 231 Member
    I had a weird comment today. A colleague whom I don't know very well and has commented a few times about my loss, saw me eating a biscuit (we get provided biscuits and fruit at morning tea) and said " well, if you're eating one, that means I can too and not feel guilty". What? She had no idea what else I'd eaten this morning (nothing as it happens because my medication makes me nauseous in the morning so I was eating a gingernut to help with the nausea). Someone else commented that I'd lost weight because all I ate was soup. We get lunch at school, and I only have have the soup because I can best guestimate the calories for it. But she doesn't know what I eat the rest of the time! And why are they watching what I'm eating so closely? It annoys me! Stupid comments 😡
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    maiomaio71 wrote: »
    I had a weird comment today. A colleague whom I don't know very well and has commented a few times about my loss, saw me eating a biscuit (we get provided biscuits and fruit at morning tea) and said " well, if you're eating one, that means I can too and not feel guilty". What? She had no idea what else I'd eaten this morning (nothing as it happens because my medication makes me nauseous in the morning so I was eating a gingernut to help with the nausea). Someone else commented that I'd lost weight because all I ate was soup. We get lunch at school, and I only have have the soup because I can best guestimate the calories for it. But she doesn't know what I eat the rest of the time! And why are they watching what I'm eating so closely? It annoys me! Stupid comments 😡

    Yeah instead of asking you for your secret they are watching you closely to see if they can determine what it is. It is a terrible idea because as you pointed out it is a snapshot. Anyone watching me over the holidays might think it is okay to gorge themselves on rice krispie treats... it is not.

    People watch me too. I also find it annoying. They misinterpret things.
  • bmeadows380
    bmeadows380 Posts: 3,098 Member
    My brother and I are both built big, in such a way that we don't look like we weigh what we weigh, which had its advantages when I was 380 lbs, as no one thought I was close to that weight. However, that also meant that it took a long time until my weight loss was noticeable. I was in the process of moving at the time, so when I hit that point, I was already moved and away from the folks that I had been around on a regular basis, the new location, while I had been there a few times a year, wasn't familiar enough with me to really notice. I did get some comments, but no one asking how I did it, and it was always positive. Though I'm a talker at times, so if I get asked, they get answered :) Very, very few people have ever asked just how much I've actually lost, though - usually what I get is comments on the difference, though like Novus, its a little hard to admit that I'm looking better because I see all the sags and bags and rolls that are underneath the clothing......

    The one thing, though, that does irritate me, is whenever someone makes a comment on my weight loss when my mother is around. Because every time someone would compliment on the weight loss, my mother would immediately chime in "oh, you should see her brother! He's lost X amount of pounds!" I can't help but assume at those times, that my mother seems to think that its some sort of race, and since my brother lost more, he's the winner. My brother lost it so fast because he had WLS; I did not, so mine is coming off slower. And he started at a good 70 lbs heavier than I did. But that's my mother for you, and that's not the only area of life where she compares the two of us.

    I did find out, though, that I've finally caught up with him!
  • papayahed
    papayahed Posts: 407 Member
    The "how much have you lost?" question always makes me a little uncomfortable. My standard answer is I'm not sure, I don't weigh myself.

    The other one is Are you counting carbs? Or people just assume I'm counting carbs which is weird.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    My brother and I are both built big, in such a way that we don't look like we weigh what we weigh, which had its advantages when I was 380 lbs, as no one thought I was close to that weight. However, that also meant that it took a long time until my weight loss was noticeable. I was in the process of moving at the time, so when I hit that point, I was already moved and away from the folks that I had been around on a regular basis, the new location, while I had been there a few times a year, wasn't familiar enough with me to really notice. I did get some comments, but no one asking how I did it, and it was always positive. Though I'm a talker at times, so if I get asked, they get answered :) Very, very few people have ever asked just how much I've actually lost, though - usually what I get is comments on the difference, though like Novus, its a little hard to admit that I'm looking better because I see all the sags and bags and rolls that are underneath the clothing......

    The one thing, though, that does irritate me, is whenever someone makes a comment on my weight loss when my mother is around. Because every time someone would compliment on the weight loss, my mother would immediately chime in "oh, you should see her brother! He's lost X amount of pounds!" I can't help but assume at those times, that my mother seems to think that its some sort of race, and since my brother lost more, he's the winner. My brother lost it so fast because he had WLS; I did not, so mine is coming off slower. And he started at a good 70 lbs heavier than I did. But that's my mother for you, and that's not the only area of life where she compares the two of us.

    I did find out, though, that I've finally caught up with him!

    I think that sucks cuz she has fostered an environment in which you may feel competitive when the only thing that should matter is that you and your brother support each other.

    My sister needs to lose and I think she is at times but we are not really that close because of a significant age difference. She is the favored child and I have to fight back some of the nonsense that comes with that but mostly I just want her to be healthy and happy.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    papayahed wrote: »
    The "how much have you lost?" question always makes me a little uncomfortable. My standard answer is I'm not sure, I don't weigh myself.

    The other one is Are you counting carbs? Or people just assume I'm counting carbs which is weird.

    I count the calories in the carbs. The carbs are the devil thing is really everywhere. There is a digital sign in the patient room at the cardiologist and one of the screens that comes up details how to look for "hidden" sugar in food. I hate that expression. It is not hidden. It is a listed ingredient. They are required by law to call things by their proper names. It is not hidden because it is called something other than sugar.
  • bmeadows380
    bmeadows380 Posts: 3,098 Member
    NovusDies wrote: »
    papayahed wrote: »
    The "how much have you lost?" question always makes me a little uncomfortable. My standard answer is I'm not sure, I don't weigh myself.

    The other one is Are you counting carbs? Or people just assume I'm counting carbs which is weird.

    I count the calories in the carbs. The carbs are the devil thing is really everywhere. There is a digital sign in the patient room at the cardiologist and one of the screens that comes up details how to look for "hidden" sugar in food. I hate that expression. It is not hidden. It is a listed ingredient. They are required by law to call things by their proper names. It is not hidden because it is called something other than sugar.

    carbs & sugar are evil don't you know? I'm with you - my eyes get a workout rolling around on that topic. And it is everywhere right now. What frustrates me even more is that it's getting pushed by doctors who only have a rudimentary understanding of nutrition. I've heard some real whoppers coming out of doctors who's specialty is anything else but nutrition science!

    The one I really love is the websites and recipes that claim that they are cutting out sugar, but have the recipe filled with honey or maple syrup, claiming that "natural" sugar doesn't count. Got news for them - table sugar is just as natural as honey or maple syrup; all 3 are "processed" as is stevia and pretty much any alternative on the market. And all the claims to eating "clean" or better yet, eating "real" food. As apposed to eating plastic food?

    And then there's the detox claims. My best friend, I love her to death; she's my sister-not-by-birth, but she really is gullible when it comes to these things, and really ought to know better. She was diagnosed with fatty liver disease, and I hear her talking a lot about needing to "detox" her liver and all sugar is poison to her body. *sigh*
  • bmeadows380
    bmeadows380 Posts: 3,098 Member
    NovusDies wrote: »

    I think that sucks cuz she has fostered an environment in which you may feel competitive when the only thing that should matter is that you and your brother support each other.

    My sister needs to lose and I think she is at times but we are not really that close because of a significant age difference. She is the favored child and I have to fight back some of the nonsense that comes with that but mostly I just want her to be healthy and happy.

    It does stink, and I have to work hard not to sink into resentment sometimes. Its not my brother's fault at all; its just that he's the favored child, though mom doesn't seem to realize it. But it's been that way for 36 years now, I doubt she's going to change or face reality at this point. Anything I do, my brother does better or could do better than me if he'd applied himself; I've heard that over and over throughout life.

    It can be a struggle for me at times because it leaves me feeling invalidated, and as much as I hate it, I'm the sort of person who needs outside validation and acknowledgement for a job well done or success in a particular area, because I'm extremely hard on myself and naturally critical of my own efforts, and left to my own devices, I tend to usually never see the steps I've already climbed; so I at times need someone to help me get my head up and looking back at how far I've come instead of always looking at how far I still have to go.
  • maiomaio71
    maiomaio71 Posts: 231 Member
    NovusDies wrote: »

    Yeah instead of asking you for your secret they are watching you closely to see if they can determine what it is. It is a terrible idea because as you pointed out it is a snapshot. Anyone watching me over the holidays might think it is okay to gorge themselves on rice krispie treats... it is not.

    People watch me too. I also find it annoying. They misinterpret things.

    I hadn't thought about it like that. That makes sense I guess. Annoying.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    It finally happened. Someone was concerned that if I lost anymore weight I would be too skinny. I have seen MFPers mention this off and on since I have been here but I wasn't sure it would happen to me.

    Of course if my neighbor could see me naked she would be less concerned... at least about that. She would be more concerned about dialing 911.