Living in the past
bebeisfit
Posts: 951 Member
I find myself saying "I used to... be fat, be fit, have successful career, be adventurous"
The list goes on and on. They reflect both positive and negative times in my life.
I'm tired of it.
I'm 59, single no kids and living with a friend for both of our financial benefits.
I realize I'm in a bit of a funk.. aka mildly depressed.
I'm not sure what I'm asking for. Just wondering how you all get past it and live in the present.
Counseling would be a benefit, but I'm pretty sure my new insurance doesn't cover it.
The list goes on and on. They reflect both positive and negative times in my life.
I'm tired of it.
I'm 59, single no kids and living with a friend for both of our financial benefits.
I realize I'm in a bit of a funk.. aka mildly depressed.
I'm not sure what I'm asking for. Just wondering how you all get past it and live in the present.
Counseling would be a benefit, but I'm pretty sure my new insurance doesn't cover it.
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Replies
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Hugs. I have a tendency to get ‘down’ as well. I agree that focusing too much on the past can cause us to not enjoy the present.
I find my long solitary walks outdoors help to keep me on an even keel. I am naturally more in the present when I walk because I’m focused on the beauty I’m seeing. For others doing an activity or craft that requires focus might do the same.
Journaling to ‘write it all out’ helps me as well. Basically allowing myself a set time to write those past things out, but then putting the journal away for that day & letting go of yesterdays for the rest of the day.
Finally, I’ve been doing 10 minutes a day of mindful meditation. Because I find it hard to not think, I start with a few affirmations, which seems to help me ease into just being and also helps to counteract my tendency to be very self critical.
Can you reframe your thoughts? Replace ‘I used to be very adventurous’ with ‘I will be more adventurous’ for example?1 -
I definitely have periods where I struggle with that. Like sndral, I find meditation to be helpful. I just use the Calm app, and really like it. Journaling is also helpful for me -- I write about those thoughts. Having a plan where I am really focused on the process and not the results (so I don't regret that I am working to get back to where I was) helps too.0
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Thank you both for the feedback. I will download the calm app. Getting putside always makes me feel better but living in Chicago makes it hard sometimes to put on all the layers to venture outside.4
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I'm in Chicago too. Thought I might go hike somewhere since this was probably our warmest day of the week, but didn't manage. Did walk around a bit in the neighborhood.0
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Hi bebeisfit,
As I've aged, I took, sometimes find myself looking back (more often than I'd like). I agree that language helps frame our perpections; it can be useful to use words differently, to reframe a situation, as sndral suggests.
Another thing that helps get me out of my funk, at least for a while, is to laugh. One tool I've used lately to will some silliness into my life is to work out with the Everybody Can Exercise (Senior Edition) videos. They are perfect for someone with my physical limitations and excess weight, and I laugh and feel energized every time I participate.
One more suggestion comes from my health coach, and that's about making goals measurable. I enjoy getting absorbed, losing myself in a task or activity and so now when I set goals, they aren't all related to fitness or eating. It's fine to set a goal to call a good friend once a week, take three bubble baths, improve one's facility with a second language, plan some post-pandemic travel--virtually anything that gives one pleasure.
I wish you joy in the new year.
Carol2
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