At first it was to reverse pre-diabetes, high cholesterol, etc. That was for myself and Ioved ones.

Then I started feeling so much better and noticed so many weird little issues which I had simply grown accustomed to that started disappearing. Then it became about becoming more healthy overall and not just about losing weight to prevent disease. That primarily served me, but also made me happier which in turn made my loved ones happy to see me that way.

Then when I signed up just to simply walk/run my first (and presumably only) running event, a 10k, but made myself run the whole thing instead after seeing and hearing a mom holding a small pair of running shoes in memoriam of her little girl who couldn't run that event because she died of cancer, I learned that I had spent my life only "thinking" I couldn't run a whole mile or more. Turns out I could have done it all along. At that point it became about pushing myself to see what other surprising things I could do which I never imagined possible. That one again primarily served myself, but was full of forever life changing moments which in turn improved my relationships with everyone, so in a way it served everyone else as well.

Then when I started focusing on strength, reducing my running to more moderate distances, along with a primal diet, it was about making changes that I felt I could maintain for life. I certainly couldn't just keep running further and further forever! That was for myself and for loved ones in order to be there, in good health, for as long as possible.

Then when I somehow let the difficulties of life take a great deal of my focus off of my health for a couple years, I suddenly had different "Why's", and none of them had any happy answers. And that seemed to only make it worse.

Then in February this year my (then) 8 year old autistic boy suddenly ran out of the house on me, into the bitterly cold night, barely dressed and barefoot, and that little boy can run! I ran after him (wearing socks myself) and became terrified as I began to feel that familiar feeling of pending muscle failure starting to build up. He had similarly run at full effort and stopped just seconds before I think I would have fallen. I was extremely relieved to catch him. I don't know why I am sharing that story other than perhaps as part of this topic, because in the weeks after that I started going on walks again, and by early March was fully focused on health again. I don't think it's just coincidence, but I also don't think it's only because of that one event. I suspect that was a triggering event that snapped me back out of the funk I had been in.

So now I am again doing it for myself and the ones I love. I don't think I will be afforded any opportunity to just whither away. I need to be as ready as I can make myself for anything and everything, no matter what.

Interestingly enough when I first logged on to MFP again this year and checked my profile page to see how terribly outdated it was, I found this as my page title.

"Lose the fat; Get as healthy as I reasonably can; Go into each passing year as physically prepared as possible."

It explains why just as well today, so I kept it.

which were I need a MRI for more throat imaging and a referral to a pulmonologist because it picked up nodules on my lungs. 🤦🏻‍♀️ I’m getting really tired of one test leading to another leading to another and never leading to an answer. I’m not worried as much about the nodules on the lungs as they are common, I am not a smoker, and I know for a fact my mother has them and I have her DNA. That being said - off I go better safe than sorry. I did see in googling them they are common with RA, and my family is good at autoimmune diseases. I then was like huh, let me Google all the other stuff I’m seeing specialists for. All common with RA - trouble swallowing, chronic costochondritis, nodules on lungs, nodules in breasts I get regular mamos to monitor that just seem to be there and fine just annoying, sensitivity to light, dry eye, feeling like I got hit buy a bus 24/7, and being stuff as a board for the first few hours of the day. (You’ll notice I walk a mile before every run and that’s because my body needs that mile to loosen up or I’m too stiff to run).

So, while I’m not usually a fan of self diagnosing, I think I should probably at least ask them to look into this. One answer that explains everything would be much nicer than 7 specialists with no answers.

Anyhoo.