Many of us here on the UAC are fans of the Half Size Me podcast, hosted by Heather Robertson. If you’re not familiar with her, I put a short bio in a spoiler – along with some personal reasons why I am such a fan.
She recently recorded her 500th episode and to celebrate, put together six “golden nuggets” that she believes to be the most important truths she’s learned both personally and professionally. They are her observations of the commonalities and pitfalls that cause people to self-sabotage or be knocked off course.

I think these nuggets of truth are helpful no matter where you are on your journey. Hopefully, they’ll either strengthen your resolve to continue. OR, if you’re in the slumps, discouraged, and thinking of quitting – these truths will encourage you to stay the course.

So….we’ll spend the next six days looking at these nuggets of truth.

“Having” to do something implies an obligation, debt, vow, or contract. It implies that losing weight is a debt that you MUST fulfill. She heard the phrase “you have to lose weight” both from others and her own brain for years – and it sounded like “you have to lose weight in order to be worthy.”

An “ah-ha” moment came when her children were young and she was stressed trying to attend every playdate, every party, every activity. Her husband told her “you don’t HAVE to do all this” and it freed her from the false idea that being a good mom meant meeting someone else’s expectations. And then she realized if she had that flexibility with her children why couldn’t she extend that to herself.

She realized that losing weight isn’t a prison sentence. Her attitude changed from being forced to do something by someone else’s standards, to finally being able to create standards for herself.

And then, because she removed the phrase “HAVE TO” from her vocabulary, it freed her to CHOOSE to adapt a healthy lifestyle. And then, because it was no longer a burden – it gave her 100% responsibility for her choices. She was free to WANT to lose weight.

I’ll admit, this first “golden nugget” was a little hard for me because I can think of all kinds of reasons I “have” to lose weight. But the bottom line is that losing weight and getting healthy is always a choice. No one holds a gun to our head and says “hand me 50 pounds or I’ll shoot.”

We are all on different phases of our “get healthy” journey. Has the “have to” belief played into your reasons for your story? How do you feel about this first nugget. Is it a game changer? Old news? Agree or disagree? I’m anxious to hear what you think and how this one truth may affect how you look at this process.

I guess I'll reply now, a day early (me and my stupid yap getting me in trouble)...

I can recall convincing a youthful me that I didn't have to lose weight. And I didn't. I don't know that there is an absolute correlation there, I think I was just too concerned with other things.

I also recall a early 20's version of me that did want to lose weight, and found some success with diet and exercise through a premium membership body rebuilding thing at Gold's Gym... for about 3 months... until that early 20's me decided to spend that money outside the gym instead. So I still felt no major "have to" pressure, apparently.

The first time I pressured myself was in my mid-30's to get my cholesterol numbers in line. They were high, and I had a family history of that. I attacked that with pure diet though, eliminating all sources of cholesterol from my diet entirely (will spare further details than that) and working to fit in more cholesterol lowering foods. Cholesterol did not change much, some numbers better, some worse, but I did lose a fair amount of weight for about a year on my "diet". Ultimately I resumed normal eating to let cholesterol meds do their magic as my "diet" was too restrictive and wasn't even doing what I really started it for. Weight came back quickly, along with newly developing issues that I ignored but we're signs of pre-diabetes.

When my doctor ordered a physical just a few years later (I didn't visit him much, it seems) and I recorded my highest weight of 316 I was falling apart at only 42 between the cholesterol, borderline diabetes, breathing issues (asthma, allergies, chronic bronchitis). I don't recall what the doctor said but something that day finally woke me up. I had to do some things, and losing weight was part of it. But I did not feel so much like "I have to lose weight" so much as "I want to live to see 60".

I've mentioned here a time or two about my losing weight, getting healthy, running some, and probably even droned on about other stuff too (sorry to sound like a broken record), so I'll skip to having literally gave all that up after a few years. Why? Life sucked, I guess. But eventually I emerged from that funk in March of this year and I think most here at least have a clue how well things have gone since this last Spring (by the way, as of 2 weeks ago A1C was 4.5, lung function perfectly healthy and all cholesterol numbers in normal, healthy range).

I know I don't have to. I want to though. And I need to make sure I keep wanting to, because that alternative really sucked.

Wednesday Oct 6

Thanks for all of the above and all of the daily inspiration!

Exercise: YES (30 minute RPM Spin Bike work out)
Calories under: YES
Tracked all: YES

(To date 1/3 pass days used)

This topic is just brilliant @biketheworld, I literally hve goosebumps!!!! He he!!! I totally resonate with this and as you know you got me into half size me a while back which gave me a whole new way that i look at food and weight loss!!! Half size me was the driving force behind stopping my binge eating, helped me to learn to eat in moderation, stopped the cutting of food groups out and has made me see food as something I enjoy rather than seeing fun foods as bad!! Grazing and wknd eating is something I am currently working on and listening to Heathers podcasts daily is helping me with this!!

So to answer your question yep 1st nugget is def a game changer for me... Funny thing is i am a 1st time mum and wen I heard Heather say this a few months back I stopped going to all my daily playgroups etc cos she's spot on i didnt hve to!!!! Same thing with my health I dnt hve to but for the 1st time in my life I want to cos I'm loving being able to eat what I want without feeling guilty and without depriving my self!

Bring on the nuggets @biketheworld.. Can't wait!! Xo

Mrs_Hoffer wrote: »

I heard someone say once (perhaps Heather?) that the weight loss industry is such a huge money-maker, that the reason that no one teaches us how to KEEP THE WEIGHT OFF is because there's no money to be made in that!!!! Boy was that a real eye-opener for me!

It WAS Heather who said that (well, ok she might not be the only one) but when I heard her say it, I had the same reaction as you. She has a way of pointing out the obvious but it becomes such a “lightbulb” moment!

Exercise: Done.
Tracked: Yes.
Within calorie budget: Yes.

Luckily I never felt like I "have to" lose weight, it was more of a "I wouldn't mind to but I wouldn't torture myself for it" but I still think it's solid advice and very true. Thinking you have to puts a lot of pressure onto you that might make you frustrated if things don't turn out as you wanted and I think everyone had a moment of emotional eating in those situations at one point or another and that in turn makes you feel even worse.

6th October
3 x Yes

06/10/2021
Exercise – yes – bike ride and cardio.
Tracked – yes
Calories – yes

I’m not sure about this “golden nugget”: “ You don’t HAVE to lose weight “Having” to do something implies an obligation, debt, vow, or contract.” Well, for me I do have a contract with myself to lose the weight because I want to be healthy for longer. Obviously, it’s a choice but it’s one I have decided I need to do.
I freed myself from the tyranny of meeting other’s expectations a long time ago – I saw it as part of becoming an adult with control over my actions.
However, I’m still interested to hear the rest of her nuggets.

Exercise- yes 20 mins yoga and some walking
Tracking - yes
Calories - yes

I’ve never felt I have to lose weight, I always feel that I really, really want to lose it and am often then baffled by my own self sabotaging behaviour. I’ve never been someone to plan for the future though, I generally live mostly in the now so I guess the lure of the chocolate biscuit right now is stronger than the lure of being slimmer at some point in the future. I am more likely to stick to calorie plans if I have a short term positive reason to do it - like reporting to this group or avoiding a sugar rush / crash.

October 6

✅ Exercise (Walk and core isometrics routine)
✅ Calories
✅ Tracked

2 Pass days used

This first nugget I don't quite agree with. I Do have to adhere to my diet rules or I get very sick. I did Have to make a decision to change my ways or I was very short for this world. It was a no brainer for me. Do what is best for my allergies and asthma or continue to do the same things and stay sick all the time. When I say sick I mean almost as sick as I was with covid. I have food allergies and I have been known to eat pizza with a Benadryl chaser, an inhaler, and epi pen. Dairy, gluten , yeast and honey are my food allergies. So have to has been in my vocabulary for my own good. I make choices because I like to breathe. Now let a Doctor tell me I NEED to lose weight and that's the last thing I want to do. I want to lose weight but I have issues with people who do not know my story dictating to me. Yes I am a rebellious soul.
I choose my health. It does not matter the how I talk to myself about my diet. It matters if someone tells me to do it if I will comply.

There are a lot of "demons" I fight in my effort to lose weight, some valid, some excuses. No one's ever said I have to lose weight; in fact I've spent the majority of my life underweight. I want to lose weight.

I think what resonates with me on today's post is the "have to". I don't "have to" remain fat.

So thank you @biketheworld and @TerriRichardson112. Really it has been my choice to remain at this weight for the last few years. I need to quit blaming events, apply the idea of a choice and thereby open a world of possibilities (to quote Terri). Thank you both for this realization.

Yes x3 today.