I hesitate to respond to this nugget at all for F E A R of upsetting anyone. Definitely not my intention. Plus I wanted to wait...but can't for some reason.

I think this is nugget is purely about perspective and to a degree boils down to one's maturity level (something that was mentioned in at least one other nugget as I recall).

I feel very confident that I can honestly say that none of my health journey were fear induced, not even the earlier parts that did not yield such great results.

While I can point to two distinct starting points based on news from a doctor visit (mid-30's with very high cholesterol numbers and early 40's with onset of multiple cardiovascular diseases) in neither case was the fear of death really what drove me. It was the joy of life and wanting to get to enjoy it that drove me.

I can not enjoy life if I am too wrapped up in the fear of losing it. Worrying has never been joyful. Not even once. Not even just a little bit.

I can hear questions already like, why would you change anything? Weren't you already happy? Weren't you sad to have to give up (insert some unhealthy thing here)? Why would you give up all that joy if not for fear of never being able to have it again? Surely you were afraid you could never enjoy some indulgence again, right?

I hope just reading that makes the foolishness of such thoughts readily apparent. It's like asking a heroin addict if they only quit long enough to do it all over again.

I have tried to seek out and embrace all of the new joys I find in my journey towards health. I try to find as many as possible and repeat them as often as possible.

This is my NEW LIFE. My next opportunity. Now.

That old me, with the unhealthy habits, he grew out of those ways and has moved on to better things and is not looking back.

I did have a setback, but I did not revert to the old me. I actually still ate quite healthy. I just ate too much and drank to excess and did not do any exercise. I was depressed and just not doing anything, like a depressed person does. And I gained a lot of weight for it.

I 100% believe that if you are not currently living your life in a way that is fashioning yourself to become the person you want to be for the rest of your life, then everything you are doing is a lie to yourself and you are wasting your time. You can't reach your goals by doing something completely off track from your pathway to your goals...and it should be a straight line! Not twists and turns!

Yikes! I've already said a lot and feel I may have even felt it (I meant it, no doubt) so I'm going to stop because of F E A R that anyone not prepared for reality will be doomed to read this and escape to their fantasy elsewhere to find comfort (and maybe they need that, I sympathize). So....

End.

@WhatMeRunning - you have come a long ways and made much progress- something you can be proud of for sure. And your comments are full of truth - I don’t debate that at all! I agree completely that the joy of life is the #1 motivator. I just didn’t interpret this nugget as pertaining to living life in fear. I saw it as the answer to “why, when the doctor tells me my cholesterol is high and if I don’t bring it down I’ll need to go on meds, do I leave her office and stop at McD’s on the way home?” The answer is because food has been my go-to comfort and so even though there is fear about cholesterol, my overwhelming desire to comfort myself with food wins out. For me, it explained my self sabotaging behavior.

@jjjcat - I don’t know what a Sh'Bam dance workout is but it sounds like fun!

IT'S DONE!!!!! I ran 15k. No pauses, not a single step waked.

The race went well. Thanks to those who convinced me it wasn't insane to sign up, encouraged and gave advice along the way, and wished me the best last night.

Final result: 1:37:30--10:36 mile pace. Pretty slow, but I am putting it out there in the universe because I promised myself I would be proud no matter what the outcome.

@bradkcrew - congratulations! 10:36 is anything but slow! That is amazing. Celebrate, recover, start planning the next one.

10 Oct
Did I exercise for at least 20 minutes? yes
Did I stay within my calorie budget for the day? yes
Did I keep track of everything I ate and drank? yes
Pass days used: 0

Well you can't train an animal thru fear and expect a partner only a slave. People respond much better to encouragement vs threats. Like Lesley I have never felt the urge to run to a fast food place for comfort. But I am not a stress eater. Congratulations April on your race! You did fantastic and 10:36 is NOT slow by any means.

@bradkcrew - that’s a fantastic pace! Well done my friend! 🙌🏻 You should be VERY proud!

@bradkcrew - congratulations!

Great job! You did it!

Exercise - yes, a gorgeous hour long walk in the woods and local deer park with my dog
Calories - nope, went over in the evening. Kind of celebrating because I think my digestion issues post covid are finally easing!
Tracking - yes

@bradkcrew you are right to be proud, congratulations!

The the fear topic, the same as @lesdarts180 fear hasn’t really come into it for me, I’ve only really been in the overweight category (albeit stuck there!!) , not had health related issues fortunately.

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I keep forgetting to add a pass day status: 3 pass days remaining.

Functional strength training class today. Woke up so stiff I could barely bend to touch my shins let alone my toes. Luckily I warmed up enough enroute to the gym and during class warm up that class was fine and the rest of the day had been good. I clearly missed the memo that you’re supposed to feel better and rested when you wake up 😂

I meal prepped this guy for the week in an effort to continue the freggies focused dinner menu. He’s very very good. A tad spicy, but finishing him off with some sour cream - it was delicious.

https://www.occasionallyeggs.com/lentil-and-potato-stew/

Self-depreciating rant and dress obsession:

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3 pass days used

Taking a break from walking to see if I can get the final soreness remaining from plantar fasciitis to go away as it has lingered now for too long and only seems noticeably improved after days with no walks. Exercise was only cleaning and stretching, which almost felt like cheating today, but I know it isn't. Going to try some new exercises this week, perhaps those YouTube workouts I mentioned last week.

Congratulations @bradkcrew - that is awesome!

Happy Thanksgiving @jamcnewman and to all my neighbors to the north!

Sunday, October 10

Tracking: Yes
Calories: under
Exercise: Yes, walk

Pass days to date - 3