OA Rant
wanderinjack
Posts: 248 Member
I just heard of an OA friend who is in rehab...again and it reminded me of why I don't go to OA. My abstinence is too precious to risk it going to OA. I'd been going to OA meetings very regularly for about 3 years, had had a few different sponsors when I finely read the following from the dr.s opinion that says "the body of the alcoholic is quite as abnormal as his mind...In our belief, any picture of the alcoholic which leaves out this physical factor is incomplete." That line turned the light on for me. I realized that my body had an allergy to sugar and anything that digested as sugar, that pretty much included all grains fruit and starchy vegetables. When I changed my plan of eating to accompany that I lost a ton of weight. Many people don't even recognize me anymore. About that time I took a look around the OA meetings and realized that my fellows were "getting worse and not better." I also noticed that they won’t call the *kitten* on the real problem, carbs.
A well known speaker in OA once told me once the biggest problem in OA is the blind leading the blind. For a long time I’ve been very unhappy with the sloppiness in OA combined with the lack of discussion on the exact nature of the illness. New comers dominating the meetings or worse yet, people that had npbeen in the program for a long time with limited success using the meeting as a captive audience to tell their sad tale to but not wanting to take any real action. They've been coming for years and they are still on step 3. In the early days of AA you couldn't just go to a meeting. You pretty much had to do steps 1-3 before someone would bring you...that person being a sponsor.
Anyway, I quite going to OA and go to AA instead because of the black and white abstinence that AAs observe. My friend on the other hand continues to try to moderate her carb...or a Joe and Charlie would say, trying to control her drinking while drinking. It's very discouraging. When I mention carb thing to people in OA they get upset with me. Pretty much no one in OA will return my call anymore. Yet when I see picture of them on FB it's clear that the results they are getting aren't the kind I want.
A well known speaker in OA once told me once the biggest problem in OA is the blind leading the blind. For a long time I’ve been very unhappy with the sloppiness in OA combined with the lack of discussion on the exact nature of the illness. New comers dominating the meetings or worse yet, people that had npbeen in the program for a long time with limited success using the meeting as a captive audience to tell their sad tale to but not wanting to take any real action. They've been coming for years and they are still on step 3. In the early days of AA you couldn't just go to a meeting. You pretty much had to do steps 1-3 before someone would bring you...that person being a sponsor.
Anyway, I quite going to OA and go to AA instead because of the black and white abstinence that AAs observe. My friend on the other hand continues to try to moderate her carb...or a Joe and Charlie would say, trying to control her drinking while drinking. It's very discouraging. When I mention carb thing to people in OA they get upset with me. Pretty much no one in OA will return my call anymore. Yet when I see picture of them on FB it's clear that the results they are getting aren't the kind I want.
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Replies
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I agree that one will find a real solution that works when they are willing follow the principals given in the AA big book. Just substitute "compulsive eaters" for "alcoholics" and "compulsive eating" or "food" for "drink" and after a bit you will see that it all fits for compulsive overeating (or make similar substitutions for other addictions).
I also agree that meetings need to focus on the solution and not the problem, and shares should also focus on the solution and how it works. I pretty much only attend phone meetings that do that - they explain the problem and solution for newcomers, and shares must be on the AA big book reading, not on personal problems. (The thinking is that personal problems should be shared with one's sponsor.) The meetings are about getting the message out to others who still suffer. There are a number a OA groups that have this philosophy, like OA big book solution group, and OA primary purpose (a google search will likely bring up their websites). -Lisa G, recovering compulsive overeater in Calif.1 -
I guess it all depends on your experience. I have never been to a face to face meeting. My whole program is online and on the phone. I attend big book meetings like the ones Lisa described. I was "raised" by Lawrie C and Joe and Charlie and the good folks at a vision 4 you. Specifics of food plans never come up...well not in the form of prescribing anything. I don't think they need should.
@wanderinjack your body has a phenomenal reaction to carbs, but that doesn't mean everybody does. I believe Lawrie C is a good example of that. There are other benefits of low carb which may make it a good practice for most regardless of compulsive eating, but I don't think OA is the proper entity to make that suggestion.4 -
Thanks for your comments. The problem with the live meetings is sloppiness. I've been to as many different phone meetings as I know of, 2 hr HOW, hour of power, a vision 4 you. The phone meeting are much better and much less game playing... Face to face HOW has a prescribed food plan that would kill me. I have been through all the wonderful Joe and Charlie stuff several time. And of course there's Harland.
The truth is that I'm a recovered compulsive eater down about 70# and I guess my path has just moved on. Every once in a while I get a call from someone that wants a big book sponsor for Oa and has heard of me. I say great, read the Drs Opinion and show up at our agreed place and time and we'll make a food inventory. They almost always cancel when they realize I won't let them run the show. So instead of going to meetings most days I meditate for an hour, something I couldn't do when I was not recovered. That's worth a great deal to me. No need for me to get resentful about moving on. I just need to stay in my own lane and look forward, not backwards (wife of Lott got turn to salt just for looking back).
Be well!0 -
Hi WanderinJack,
I was wondering if you'd be willing to share what your recovery typically looks like without OA? You go to AA meetings and meditate, so you're still getting the spiritual side but are you feeling supported as a compulsive overeater in a world of alcoholics? I think about OA and how the meetings in my area don't offer a lot of recovery. Because of this, I have stopped going. But I do miss the fellowship with others that share my problem. I'm just curious how someone else handles that.
Thanks!0 -
I agree with Sandollar very much. I attend a 12 step group. We all do the 12 steps and read the Big Book every meeting. The meeting is for anyone who has a problem that they are working the steps to recover. I've seen success in recovery from alcohol, compulsive overeating and porn addiction. So even though we all have different problems the solution is the same and the book 'AA' is our guide.
I think everyone has to work out the food plan, abstinance, etc. Honesty, acceptance and willingness go a long way for seeing ourselves and then adapting to the changes necessary. Support from a group is so helpful. Developing a spiritual way of living depends on practicing the steps every day in our lives.
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Goodness , wanderinjack ‘s OA rant from 2016 is still applicable today , in Jy 2024, as excellent observations of the realities he found at OA.
BUT today it seems to me there are a couple of dozen OA-Approved guidelines on how to run different types of OA meetings.
If one peruses the OA TWELVE STEP WORKSHOP AND STUDY GUIDE one reads that an OA meeting is a very tightly run ship with meeting segments timed with a timer by a timekeeper person.
Ok, food plans are not monitored, but abstinence from compulsive overeating and extra first bites beyond one’s food plan are.
Disclaimer: I myself am only an OA LITERATURE READER , a compulsive overeater, currently tenuously abstinent and not attending OA Meetings and with no OA Sponsor.
I do it with Partners in Recovery elsewhere, for now.
Have a lovely day, everyone !☀️🌸0
