Sober Discussion (Ongoing)
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RubyRed427 wrote: »I am so disappointed and angry. If you recall, I have been eagerly awaiting my blood results for liver and kidney. I got my high cholesterol results, but when I talked to the doctor's office, they said "oh sorry" we forgot to order those liver tests. I said I've been AF for over 47 days just to get my liver and kidney tested. They said, "Well let's try again in a month.".
I know it was worth being AF, but I wanted a tangible "reward" for my efforts. I wanted to see in print that I am doing well. Sigh...
I agree with @xbowhunter!!! Think of all the benefits your body is feeling!3 -
Day 3 AF
Have a good day, friends.4 -
2 months plus 12 days AF done.
@xbowhunter, well said and you are right that alcohol is a poison. Even diluted and marketed in elegant bottles or cool packaging, it's a toxin and a bad one.
@RubyRed427 oh no, that is disappointing but hopefully this allows for more time to get scores even lower. My doctor forgot the cholesterol test LOL. I had the slip and looked up the test name on the lab website and saw that lipid panel wasn't part of the comprehensive test they sent me for so yeah I had to call up the receptionist who then ordered the right test for me (yes, the receptionist!!!).
@renae149 good to hear you also take it day by day.4 -
Another day in the books. I have been back in my sewing room making memory pillows for Christmas. Something to pass the time. Maybe I can get myself back into exercise as a new habit!!4
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Hit the big 60 days alcohol free yesterday and feeling amazing!
Just wish I would have quit for good sooner in life.
Been pretty busy lately. Working my 8hr desk job then working on my daughter's home renovations for 4hrs per day and most weekends but I enjoy helping her out and keeps my hands and mind busy.
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@xbowhunter Awesome! Congrats on 60 days!! 2
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xbowhunter wrote: »Hit the big 60 days alcohol free yesterday and feeling amazing!
Just wish I would have quit for good sooner in life.
Been pretty busy lately. Working my 8hr desk job then working on my daughter's home renovations for 4hrs per day and most weekends but I enjoy helping her out and keeps my hands and mind busy.
That is the key for me! Keeping hands and mind off of the idle drinking (and eating for me). Congrats on 60 days!!!3 -
Had a Friendsgiving last night and stuck with my water. It was actually kind of fun watching a couple of them get a little "free" after a few too many. Glad I was the one laughing and not being laughed at!! Haha!!
And as someone said early on, no fear of driving home after dark drunk!4 -
2 mo. and 14 AF days done. Really productive week. I put in a very long work day yesterday and went to the supermarket late, at 6pm because we were out of lettuce and tomatoes and I did not even think for a second about wine at all. I DID think about a "goodie" so a 3 musketeers bar jumped into my cart at checkout.
Good news- that "wave" of irritability around the 2 month mark mysteriously went away and I just feel plain good.
Feels really liberating to not be over-thinking about drinking or not drinking and be in control of myself and in better control of my destiny. That brain chatter is gone and now I have headspace for important things in life. For this, I keep going.
@xbowhunter Congrats on hitting 60 days, well done!4 -
Hi friends,
I may be quiet on this thread for awhile. I am drinking a little bit. (when I go out to dinner)
I have not let it get out of control... yet! We shall see.
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RubyRed427 wrote: »Hi friends,
I may be quiet on this thread for awhile. I am drinking a little bit. (when I go out to dinner)
I have not let it get out of control... yet! We shall see.
I hope you still check in and let us know how you are doing. Best of luck!3 -
@RubyRed427 best of luck to you. I hope you still check in on us. Your inputs and lessons learned have always been super helpful to me.
Today is 2.5 months AF for me. I will continue AF life. If I re-start just a bit over the holidays, history will repeat itself. I will just buy AF wines, book myself the 2 week hiking trip to Switzerland because I've racked up the buckaroos from not throwing my money at the wine devil. End of Story.
I hope I can influence my drinking family also, so that is a big motivator. My grown kids had a very alcoholic dad and they drink regularly. One is part of a whiskey club and the other has a living room sized bar in the house. It used to be normal for young adults to drink because that is what they do, right? But it's very seriously damaging to DNA.
Why else am I here? I'm very scared of serious illness. I've had 2 surgeries to remove pre-cancerous tissue and body parts. I asked specialists what caused it and they said DNA damage. Maybe it was the wine and maybe it was one of several factors but I was drinking wine daily at that time. Doctors all told me to stop drinking or limit 2 a week and not together. I have a 60-70% chance of cancer in the next 5 years according to them. Removing the poison from my life is a requirement.3 -
Hi everyone,
To quote Britney Spears:
"OOPS, I did it AGAIN"!
No excuses, no explanation. I actually ended up binging on alcohol to the point of ordering Chinese food after midnight and forgetting I did so! (This was binging to a dangerous level!)
I just learned that today is the "International Day of Tolerance". This will take a monumental effort for me to put into practice and maintain throughout the very challenging days ahead, and it's just as good a day as any for a new DAY ONE!
I feel like I've let our group down. Most of all, I've let myself down. Part of tolerance is tolerating my own fallibility. I will not look backwards but instead will pick myself up and focus on the path forward.
So here I go again (and again, if necessary, but I'm going to do my utmost best to avoid another lapse)!
11/16/2024: Day 001
Have a nice weekend everybody!
💗 and 🙏,
Carole
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I started this board for a reason. I'm so glad you're all here to find and to offer mutual support. It truly helps (in A BIG way) to prevent me from giving up entirely! Thank you all so much!💞
Since my ultimate objective is 100% sobriety, in my case, counting days is very important - at least for the first few years. Whatever it takes, I will make this work! I just have to stay with it and not lose sight of this goal!
@RubyRed427, I will be thinking of you and wishing you well always. I hope you will still pop in to visit us from time to time!
WOW, @globalhiker, that is a LOT to deal with. I agree with you that alcohol is toxic and highly detrimental to our health. You've been so strong! I am very happy for your success so far and praying that it keeps future health problems away! I also pray that those doctors are wrong about the chance for recurrence! You are actively reversing the damage and reducing your risk every single day!
@renae149, I so admire that you were able to remain AF for your "Friendsgiving", CONGRATULATIONS! I will be having Thanksgiving at the home of my son and his wife. They do not drink alcohol at all; so I won't be tempted. I often get depressed around the holidays, but I'm not going to use alcohol to cope this year, because as I'm sure you all know from experience, that just makes it worse!
@xbowhunter, Congratulations on your 60 days! That's wonderful! Thank you also for the very good advice about keeping busy. You've been working very hard! I need to distract myself with activity as well.
I really hope we can keep this going. I intend to stay with this thread for as long as possible. I will make a dedicated commitment to post DAILY in order to remain accountable, even if I'm the only one posting on any particular day. I KNOW I can do this! Thanks so much for sharing here!
Bye for now - I will make sure to post tomorrow!
🦋 Mariposa-to-be: Alcohol-Free ME!
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@Walela617 you totally did not let me down and the fact that you are strong enough to write it down and be real and honest with yourself is really the foundation of the success you will realize moving forward. Your experience is very normal and part of the process. I have messed up countless times. My behaviors weren't right because my thinking was dysregulated. The alcohol poisoning from the past damaged my higher control thinking. Crazy to think it did since I thought I drank like a normal person, but I did drink daily. It doesn't take much for the alcohol poison to create the damaged thinking pattern.
2 months, 16 days AF done. But I overate chocolate yesterday bigtime. Did 2 gym classes on no breakfast then stopped in 2 places to shop, got home in the early afternoon RAVENOUS and I tore open the chocolate bag (s) yes plural, and chomped away as I was putting groceries away. That was not a good lunch.
Separately, here is an out-loud thought to myself: what I am reading (and I am learning along with everyone else), those who succeed at the AF game are those who have social support in addition to changing their lifestyle patterns and list out all their triggers and make a plan for trigger management. And when alcohol is re-introduced, it doesn't take long for it to re-start the brain dysregulation process. While it's a lovely fantasy I have to think I can re-start drinking like a normal person, science says differently, personal experience shows it differently. I have to get my head out of fantasyland and think logically.
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@Walela617
You did not let anyone down on this thread. I drank Thursday, Fri. and Saturday because I'm "celebrating" being away and in a nice hotel. My brain is wired to think drinking makes everything more fun. But my face looks ragged today and I feel lethargic.
I knew better than to start back to drinking after my 47 days AF because I know very well it takes enormous effort to get back on track. This week, I will put being AF as the #1 priority. I like me better when I sleep well, exercise, and just look and feel fresh.
Let's both get back on track. Today will be day 1 AF for me too.
I appreciate that you posted. It helps me immensely.
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Had a Friendsgiving last night and stuck with my water. It was actually kind of fun watching a couple of them get a little "free" after a few too many. Glad I was the one laughing and not being laughed at!! Haha!!
And as someone said early on, no fear of driving home after dark drunk!
Excellent!! You still had a great time!!2 -
@globalhiker I like your comments about the brain and dis-regulation. I love reading about the brain. This is not about "willpower". It's about educating ourselves about the brain's wiring.
I believe successful sober people have a network.
Addiction can be isolating. This thread is our support network. Thanks for sharing what you learn. It motivates me to go back to listening to the podcast "sober powered" on the way to work. I got away from that.3 -
Hello,
I was so glad to find your posts this morning! They are so helpful in reminding me that I am not alone! You are both right, @globalhiker and @RubyRed427! We definitely need some kind of support system and a social network in order to succeed. Just reading your posts about your journeys and how you handle challenges makes me feel stronger and more hopeful!
I like the concept of "trigger management" (I sure do have a lot of them - don't we all?)
I also agree about the "brain wiring". The good news is that we can develop new neural pathways that will eventually bypass all that self-destructive wiring, provided we put in the time and effort and don't allow ourselves to fall back into negative patterns. For me, this will probably take several months, but I'll just take the "one day at a time" approach and will remain focused on moving forward rather than rehashing old regrets and reliving the past. Dwelling on negative thoughts is what makes me feel most vulnerable. I'm definitely going to work on positivity and gratitude to help build confidence and reinforce my resolve.
Last night I had a Fitbit sleep score of 85 and a total sleep time of almost 8 hours; so I'm already beginning to benefit from resuming an alcohol-free lifestyle! (Quality rest is so important, especially on the road to recovery.)
I'll be "safe at home base" today; so I will post my day now:
11/17/24: 002 Days AF
Enjoy your day everyone!
💗Carole
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So glad to read all of this this morning. This, hungover morning.... Went out to watch the game yesterday, thought, I can have just one. 5 glasses of wine later.... I feel like hell this morning (pardon the language).
I am now realizing what everyone here has been saying all along. It's all or nothing (and I know this about myself but chose to tempt fate anyway).
I find myself reading these everyday and wondering about each of you. I am a fixer by nature, so naturally I try to "fix" everyone sometimes to avoid fixing myself. I will keep checking in as long as everyone else is still here! I'll take the support where ever I can get it!
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Hello my sober friends.
64 days AF as of yesterday. feeling awesome!
On a side note, I noticed some people in my life are supportive of my decision to not drink anymore. However, some people that are very close to me are starting to turn on me unfortunately one of them is my significant other. The words "I can't have a drink with you and have fun anymore" was said to me. I didn't see that one coming. My response is this is the new me and you will need to get used to it...
I will not be pressured into the poison by anyone for anything period!3 -
That’s rough @xbowhunter !!! But way to stand your ground.3
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I'm going back to counting...try, try again....
Monday, easy peasy! AF Day 13 -
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Regarding family support: I asked my husband why he was happy that I drank with him the other week. He said it's just fun when he and I drink and go out. I said but I can still have fun without alcohol.
However, I don't feel like going out to eat or to happy hour when I'm not drinking so he has a point. I tend to say, "Let's just stay home and cook." I can see his point of view. It does impact him in that way.
I also told him that I am on my own journey to get healthier. He just wouldn't understand, since he never binges on alcohol. He always seems to be able to stop.
I'm going to a wedding reception this weekend. It's my close friend's daughter who is getting married. And, boy, can my friend drink! My friend usually has a box or two of wine in her fridge, and I used to love to visit her, because I knew it was an easy place to drink. I'm not going to worry about her though. I must worry about me. I cannot drink too much, if I drink at all.1 -
2 months + 18 days AF done. Thank goodness I am not counting the chocolates. Maybe I should.
Getting re-started even if day 1 is awesome. Jump out of that nonstop cycle. Abstinence is the answer and it's not misery, you get your life back.
I was told this last Saturday (by the husband who drank 6 beers): "You were a nicer person when you drank." Which of course made me reply "You are a nicer person when you don't drink" (of course that didn't work out well and we ended up in a dispute then I just shut up because you can't really argue with someone intoxicated). Not sure if anyone here has experience using Smart Recovery (free virtual support). I am curious to listen in to one of their session geared towards learning to deal with the drinking significant other. Sigh.2 -
Hello everyone, I forgot to post yesterday, but in staying with it
11/19/24: Day 004 AF
Dear @renae149, I can relate. I was right where you are very recently. I have come to the realization (more than once) that it is impossible for me to set limitations on my drinking and it's just not worth it - how we feel the next day: physically, mentally, emotionally. The lost time. The lost productivity. It also lowers my self-esteem and causes me to lose hope, making my worries and problems seem so much bigger.
@xbowhunter, I hope your SO will appreciate that you need to do this for you and will come to accept that this this the change you choose and we'll become more supportive over time.
@RubyRed427, I understand why you don't feel much like going out when it's harder to avoid drinking. I'm the same. It's so much easier to manage when I'm at home. Have fun at the wedding! You are in control and have proven you can do fine with challenges like this and still have a good time.
I will check back in tomorrow. I need to visit this board daily because it really helps to read everyone's posts here.
💗 Carole2 -
Good morning everyone!
I am getting busy at work, long days. Yesterday was 14 straight days and the last 3 have been long. Hubs went out to get a Perrier, we both joked that a beer sounded good. But both abstained.
Day 2 in the books.
Here's to another one day at a time!2
