Sober Discussion (Ongoing)
Walela617
Posts: 764 Member
Hello everyone,
@ilanakla
@genterprise
@RubyRed427
@shpuniarsky
@xbowhunter
@middleagegirl
@chicbuc
@888Angie888
@globalhiker
@SunnyDays930
@dstobbie8870
@MegHom
@SparkSpringtime69
@renae149
@dawntripp1
@SurferGirl1982
@Bemybestby60
I am unable to find our discussion! I tried to close the old one (to which no one was posting), but it looks like SP may have deleted the current one instead! (I was sure I was in the inactive one!)
Can we pick back up here? I'm really bummed that this happened! I hope you will join me in this discussion as we continue on our journey.
Thank you and have a great day!
💗 Carole
Today is my new Day ONE: I gave in and drank alcohol yesterday - CRAP! (I did manage 7 days though. I just need to learn how to shut out that nagging voice and ignore this destructive impulse!
Staying home today; so:
Safe at Home Base!
001 day AF
@ilanakla
@genterprise
@RubyRed427
@shpuniarsky
@xbowhunter
@middleagegirl
@chicbuc
@888Angie888
@globalhiker
@SunnyDays930
@dstobbie8870
@MegHom
@SparkSpringtime69
@renae149
@dawntripp1
@SurferGirl1982
@Bemybestby60
I am unable to find our discussion! I tried to close the old one (to which no one was posting), but it looks like SP may have deleted the current one instead! (I was sure I was in the inactive one!)
Can we pick back up here? I'm really bummed that this happened! I hope you will join me in this discussion as we continue on our journey.
Thank you and have a great day!
💗 Carole
Today is my new Day ONE: I gave in and drank alcohol yesterday - CRAP! (I did manage 7 days though. I just need to learn how to shut out that nagging voice and ignore this destructive impulse!
Staying home today; so:
Safe at Home Base!
001 day AF
2
Replies
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I'm here!0
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@SunnyDays930, So glad you found this new discussion! I've reached out to MFP to see whether they can recover our Why Sober October thread with all the postings.
I'm not touching ANYTHING going forward for fear of losing our posts again!
Have a great week!
💗Carole1 -
I'm here, too.
Day 22 AF today.2 -
Hi Carole,
No worries on creating a new thread. I'm sure everyone will find it. You went for 7 days AF- bravo!! With each try, like Sunny Days says, it builds "muscle memory."
I am listening to a book by Alan Carr (on Spotify)
I'll listen to anything at this point keep me motivated.
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Found you all!
Full disclosure, I did have 1 glass of wine on Sunday. I purposely stuck with the box of white I had and watered it down. I seem to have WAY more control with white than red. Last night was no big deal. Back to my seltzer and lime.
The weight hasn't started to come down yet, which is a little frustrating. Hubs gives up wine but still drinks beer and drops 5lbs. I quite alcohol all together and drop .2 lbs. Go figure...
@RubyRed427 thanks for the suggestion for listening! And just think of the fever spikes, drowsiness, upset tummy's and total lack of energy you will have to help you stay motivated!!
@Walela617 the last time you had a relapse you said that it cost you $200. Was this time that costly?? I missed @SunnyDays930 comment about muscle memory, but it is totally a thing with everything in life. We are creatures of habit. Little progresses to change that muscle memory adds up over time. Don't get discouraged. This time go for 8 days!!2 -
@renae149 Good to see you! I'm happy one wine didn't derail your goals. Yes, all the physical effects from alcohol are something I want to never feel again.2
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Hello everyone
Found the new group! lol
Still AF and loving it.
We had our annual Canadian Thanksgiving dinner at my in-laws on Saturday. The dinner typically starts with shots. I refused and heard the same old "come on have just one!" no thanks is what I said. Then the red wine starts flowing. Again, I heard "come on just one glass won't kill you. Actually, it will and no thanks!
One thing I felt disturbing was I seen my grandson that is only 15 try a shot. That is the beginning of a bad habit and not cool with me. I pulled him to the side and told him if you don't like it or want any don't be afraid to say no because it's actually poison and really bad for you! He gave the shot away to his dad and I hope that sticks with him when he is in that situation again.
My wife got into the shots and Redwine pretty heavy and I could see she was getting pretty tipsy. I on the other hand was clear headed and able to drive home without worrying about a DUI or worse killing someone because of intoxication. So, refreshing!!
I woke up early the next day and felt great and realized not drinking is my new norm and I love it...
cheers and have a great day everyone.
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What a great thing to do for your grandson, @xbowhunter
I had to do something similar for my 22 year old a few weeks ago. My SO wanted him to drink with him at the football game and got all defensive when he didn't want to. He kept pestering and pestering, and I finally said, "You know it is fine if he doesn't need to drink to have fun. He does have my genes and it could lead to an addiction." He was still mad, but he stopped bugging my son.5 -
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Good morning everyone and welcome back!
@sunnydays930, I think you're right about the "muscle memory" concept. I read that it can take up to 254 days to break a bad habit or form a new habit; hope it doesn't take me that long!
@renae149, this time my "debauchery" cost me $71. So NOT worth it! I even threw up a few times the next day! Quite the "red flag"!
I'm going to read all of the new posts. I see a lot of very helpful information here!
@xbowhunter, Happy Canadian Thanksgiving! Glad to hear you stayed strong and helped your family too!
@RubyRed427, definitely plan to check out that book - thanks for sharing!
@renae149, congratulations on being able to stop at ONE! Control is much harder than total avoidance for me. That first one always leads to more for me, but you were able to say, "Enough"!
@chicbuc, I think it's great what you did for your son, without offending your SO! I believe it truly is "in the genes". It killed my grandmother and was significant in contributing to my father's and brother's suicides and almost killed my sister too. (She's been AF for over 25 years now.)
For me, on the plus side, I did lose 1.2 lbs. last week and on Saturday (my "oops" day, I still did 14,504 steps (6.47 miles).
I'm off work today and I plan to get some housework done. It's quite chilly in Boston - we just got up to 50° now, but I haven't turned on my heat yet.
No alcohol on Sunday, Monday or today (staying in). Even though I stopped alcohol effective 10/13, I'm calling my new Day One 10/14, because that Sunday was a miserable "day of recovery" for me and I wanted to wait 24 hours before declaring myself alcohol-FREE.
10/15: Day 002 AF
I'm NOT gonna break my pledge this time! I will think of all of you - the inspiration of your shared experiences and words of encouragement and will stay focused and committed!
Best wishes for the week ahead!🌟
💗Carole
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@Walela617 I might have been able to stop at one, but I also purposely chose white and watered it down. If it was red, well, the whole bottle would be gone... and then some.
Last night was a bit of a struggle. Temps dropped and seltzer water with lime just didn't have the same appeal. A little something to "warm me up" would have hit the spot. I managed to stick with my mega cup of plain water with dinner. Need to find something warm to drink on these cooler nights. MAybe the lemon ginger tea everyone was talking about in some of the earlier posts? I really don't do traditional teas. Suggestions??
Even after a week of not drinking every day, I can see and feel a difference in my hair and skin. My belly is not bloated by the end of the day. Even though the scale is not going down as fast as I would like it to, I am more comfortable than I have been in a long time! And I noticed yesterday while playing with the dog in the backyard that I am moving better. The lack of inflammation in my joints is really starting to show (or feel)! And that is part of the things that keep me going.
I know most of you are well past this stage, but it amazing to me what all things alcohol does tot he body. Even though my head knows it, you don't really understand it until your body feels it.
Here's to another AF day for all! You got this!3 -
Good morning !
24 AF days
Last night at a family event, I found it easier to order Perrier- I practiced it in my head on the way over. “I’d like a Perrier in a wine glass” I also felt less FOMO and although I wanted to have a cocktail, I am finding this new normal more acceptable to me. I’m not craving as much. I guess time does heal. I’m looking forward to day 30 which is on my daughter’s birthday. She’s very proud of me which helps me keep going.4 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »Good morning !
24 AF days
Last night at a family event, I found it easier to order Perrier- I practiced it in my head on the way over. “I’d like a Perrier in a wine glass” I also felt less FOMO and although I wanted to have a cocktail, I am finding this new normal more acceptable to me. I’m not craving as much. I guess time does heal. I’m looking forward to day 30 which is on my daughter’s birthday. She’s very proud of me which helps me keep going.
you are doing amazing! 3 -
Good morning and happy hump day my Sober October friends!
Starting weight when I cut out the booze. 165lbs current weight 149.8lbs. Goal 145lbs.
Feeling 20 years younger! 5 -
xbowhunter wrote: »Good morning and happy hump day my Sober October friends!
Starting weight when I cut out the booze. 165lbs current weight 149.8lbs. Goal 145lbs.
Feeling 20 years younger!
Great results from all that hard work!!2 -
Hello everyone!
Posting a bit late but I arrived "Safe at Home Base" by 6pm.
10/16: Day 003 AF
Great posts here! You are all right GREAT! This encouraged me to keep going!
@Renae149, it's quite chilly here in the Boston area as well. I had some pumpkin spice tea this evening that really hit the spot and helped me to feel full as well. I sweetened it with real maple syrup.
Have a nice night everyone!
💗 Carole5 -
One day at a time, and sometimes one moment at a time Carole! @Walela617 You got this!! And thanks for the suggestion on the tea.
Pretty typical night last night. Or, new typical... I find that I actually feel like doing things in the evening.
Hubs ask for a date night this weekend. This will be the first time that we have gone out for dinner since I started this. Taking my own advise, one moment at a time...
Here's to another day of feeling great!5 -
Good morning, friends!
Day 25 AF and yesterday, I went to a bar with my husband; we work out first and then we meet to get something to eat. The food is delicious. When I got there, he had a club soda on the table for me already. That was thoughtful. I didn't have FOMO. I fear going back to my old habits which would make me so sad after all of these days of hard work. Feeling good every morning for 25 days has been amazing. I have more energy at work; my skin and face looks happier.
I also am planning some fun things this weekend. Instead of not planning anything because I was never sure if I'd have a hangover.
I mentioned before that I'm reading the Alan Carr book on quitting drinking. I am actually listening to an audiobook. I like it much better than reading the book. It boils down to our perception of alcohol. That we perceive we are missing out on life and fun if we don't drink. The book is pretty good.5 -
RubyRed427 wrote: »Good morning, friends!
Day 25 AF and yesterday, I went to a bar with my husband; we work out first and then we meet to get something to eat. The food is delicious. When I got there, he had a club soda on the table for me already. That was thoughtful. I didn't have FOMO. I fear going back to my old habits which would make me so sad after all of these days of hard work. Feeling good every morning for 25 days has been amazing. I have more energy at work; my skin and face looks happier.
I also am planning some fun things this weekend. Instead of not planning anything because I was never sure if I'd have a hangover.
I mentioned before that I'm reading the Alan Carr book on quitting drinking. I am actually listening to an audiobook. I like it much better than reading the book. It boils down to our perception of alcohol. That we perceive we are missing out on life and fun if we don't drink. The book is pretty good.
Excellent progress. So may benefits to living without the poison where does one start?
AF = 32 days
Dropped another .5pound. Starting weight 165lbs current weight 149.5 goal 145.
I noticed my overall mood is much better. I am calmer and able to deal with issues in a calm and rational manner. When I was drinking, I would stress over the small stuff. How ridiculous is that?
My wife got into the wine and shots on Saturday, and she felt very low energy up until yesterday. I tried to tell her it may have been the alcohol but of course she doesn't believe me... lol
Cheers and hope everyone has a great day!
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@Walela617 hopping you are okay. Makes me nervous missing a day checking in!
Last night was a bit of a struggle. A glass of red wine sounded really good! I had none in the house, so win for me!
@xbowhunter another win with the weight! Congrats!
@RubyRed427 win for you as well with the hubs!! Great that you have that support for sure.
18 years ago I participated in an intervention for my dad. Taking him to rehab was one of the worst days of my life that lead to some of the best days with my dad. After he had hit his year mark, he admitted to me that he had decided (leading up to his year mark) that he was going to buy a 12 pack on his one year sobriety date take it in the timber and sit and drink the whole thing. Kind of an FU to all of us that "made" him quit drinking. Funny turn of events, he got to his 1 year and really didn't want it. So, @RubyRed427, keep that in mind! One day your good habits will win and you just won't want those old habits. You got this! And @xbowhunter his mood swings were unbelievable! You never knew if he was going to loose it over the absolute smallest thing or be happy go lucky and want to have a conversation.
And yes, there is a lot of addiction in my families. One of the reasons I am heading down this road. When my kids were at home hubs and I didn't drink every night or at home since we both lived that. Now I want to make sure they don't drop by and find us passed out somewhere. Or worry about what kind of mood we will be in when they show up.
Okay, enough ramblings for today! Make it a great Friday and an even better Saturday morning! 5 -
@renae149 What a story! I am happy he didn't have that case of beer on his first sober anniversary.
I'm also happy you and your hubby are on the sober journey too - together.
My daughter said a few months ago, "wouldn't you be concerned if I drank as much as you drink every evening?". I sheepishly said yes I would be. I would never want my kids to drink like I did!! I also have an embarrassing moment happen: a few months ago, my son's care broke down and he called me. It was a Sunday. I had several drinks already that day and I could not go and help him. So my daughter had to drive us to go and help my son... how embarrassing that I was not a reliable person that he could call for help.4 -
Day 26 AF
One thing that I did all of September that really helped me. In my notes, I recorded how many drinks I had, my resting heart rate and my sleep score. I won't post it all here but I wanted to post a sample of my "journal". And when I had wine, I had a venti pour, if you know what I mean.
Sept.
4- 4 drinks 1 vodka + 3 wine 80 sleep 44% above resting heart rate (HR)
5- 4 drinks 1 vodka + 3 wine. 75 sleep 58% above
6- 6 drinks 1 vodka, 4 wine + 1 limoncello (threw up twice that night) 81% above 79 sleep
7 - no drinks today◡̈ 85% below HR
8- no drinks today ◡̈ 86 sleep score 88% below HR
Have a GREAT weekend doing anything you want!! Because I'm not drinking, I'll get a lot done and also be able to really rest instead of planning activities just so I can drink. I plan on setting up a scrapbook table and getting back to doing the crafts I enjoy.3 -
@xbowhunter Happy 33 AF days today!
I notice I am much calmer these days, too. Even when I have a stressor, I can handle it better.3 -
@RubyRed427 you are doing amazing! You are an inspiration I know exactly what you mean about not being dependable. We're moms. It's our job to be able to help our kids when they call. It's one of my biggest motivators as well. 3
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TGIF!
The uncomfortable feelings you are having when spending time with others that are drinking will lift you up someday. When you have the power to say no and stay disciplined you have truly won the race!
Stay strong and live long!5 -
I found you guys! Hoping the old post can be re-titled so others don't use it.
47 days no alcohol. Day 48 is here and all mine to make the best of it. Loving that I have zero thoughts about drinking or not drinking all day. I let myself think about in the morning only when writing here then that's it. Today I may treat myself to a smoothie for lunch.
So way easier to be AF than moderate for me. Just takes me about a month into it for my brain to shut off its obsessive wine thinking. I really hated that. Small things don't stress me out at all now and I can't believe what a good mood i am in.
Keep going and make today a happy A F day 😊😊!
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@globalhiker You are amazing, and I love to read your updates!
I'm on day 19 and really struggling with mood and starting to get into a bit of a depression. I made myself workout yesterday (Stronglifts), and I just did a 40 minute walk on the treadmill today. I'm hoping the endorphins kick in and lift my mood. I'm committed to 30 minutes a day of exercise to try to facilitate this since I've been a bump on a log for the last month.2 -
Tonight, we went to a favorite local restaurant where we always shared a bottle of wine. So, my husband ordered the bottle because I told him he could, but he would have to have it alone.
I know he misses me drinking with him. But I told him "I have goals. I am getting healthy." I had club soda. Sure, I missed that first sip of wine. But I thought of you all on this thread, and I thought I would hate to post "I drank and am back at day 1."
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@globalhiker You are amazing, and I love to read your updates!
I'm on day 19 and really struggling with mood and starting to get into a bit of a depression. I made myself workout yesterday (Stronglifts), and I just did a 40 minute walk on the treadmill today. I'm hoping the endorphins kick in and lift my mood. I'm committed to 30 minutes a day of exercise to try to facilitate this since I've been a bump on a log for the last month.
I felt depressed too... for a few weeks. I started to take fish oil vitamins because I heard it helps with mild depression. Either that is kicking in or I'm just feeling better overall.
Now, I feel pretty calm even when I'm having a hectic day at work.2 -
Hi @globalhiker Congrats on your amazing streak: 47 days!!
So happy you found us, too!1
