Sober Discussion (Ongoing)
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@renae149 Great choice! I like Perrier especially in a wine glass with a lemon slice.
@Walela617 Great job! 4 days AF. Making progress!
@globalhiker Awesome 2+ months. I have always heard of Smart Recovery but never checked it out. I think having some kind of program is very helpful.2 -
Hi everyone,
Ever notice that sometimes (like now) the edit option is available for our own (PLUS everyone's else's posts)? I was able to fix a typo from an entry I made last night - just now!
@renae149, GOOD for you and hubs! That's awesome! Perrier cheers to you both!
Safe at Home Base!
11/20/24: 005 days AF3 -
Day 3 in the books. ...
@Walela617 mine only let's me edit for an hour after my post. Guess I've never thought about editing another post...interesting
@RubyRed427 been wondering about your liver tests... Did your doc go ahead and rerun those for you?3 -
@renae149 I keep checking "mychart" from the doctor's office to see if they've been ordered and I don't see any order placed. I may call them today and ask. Thank you for checking.
I have now fallen off officially. I drank two nights since Saturday and I can see where this train is heading. I have a happy hour on Friday with work and I will be ordering NA beer. As for the wedding on Saturday, I will have club soda. I cannot let all my hard work these last few months take me back to old, detrimental habits. I'll still be checking in here.3 -
Hello, it's Carole, demonstrating how for some reason, I'm not only able to edit my own posts after an hour, I can also edit THIS post (not my own) TWO days later! November 23rd. Sorry! This is for example only. I will show one more example but will not touch anyone's posts after today! 💕(Just my own.)Day 3 in the books. ...
@Walela617 mine only let's me edit for an hour after my post. Guess I've never thought about editing another post...interesting
@RubyRed427 been wondering about your liver tests... Did your doc go ahead and rerun those for you?
Agree. I can edit my post for only one hour.1 -
Today will be day 84 AF. On the agenda is the gym and then put up the Christmas tree.
So, I booked my first trip to Europe since I started this AF spree. It's for April and of course the plane serves free unlimited alcohol. WHY? Maybe this is intentional, to sedate the travelers so they don't cause trouble? That sets off: do I choose to drink on the plane? do I choose not to drink on the plane but drink during vacation?
5 hour layover in Atlanta airport, another problem. Not a happy relaxing place. What do people do waiting for the next plane? Drink. Help me God.
I then answer myself: the wines on the plane generally suck, so it's not worth it. Yes the jack daniels and diet coke does clear my head but I will feel yukky 17 hours later. Ditch that thought right now. OK, I agreed with myself. Well what about when you get to Spain and you're in the land of endless vineyards and booze. Hopefully, I will be that far along in this AF journey that I won't care at all. Hopefully I will have learned to "set my boundaries" and don't let the drinking friends coerce or convince me to drink. And hopefully by then my airline will get with the program and see how many MILLIONS of us are out there that want an NA selection other than soda and juice please (I'd pay for it).
🌹11/23: 2nd example of post editing. Weird, right? Okay I'm done!🌹 (Please delete as you see fit. If you are unable to edit, please let me know and I will remove this part of the post.)
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@globalhiker That sounds like a wonderful trip!! Since it's far away still, I wouldn't worry too much. Just keep adding days to your calendar, one after another.
Years ago, I went on a trip to Florida by myself and was sober. The whole week was delightful. Never had a headache, didn't obsessively plan my next drink, etc. I even sat at a bar for dinner and had a club soda, shrimp and then a big slice of key lime pie. I remember that trip as being so peaceful. I think you'll be just fine on your trip.
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I will begin this post by quoting the great Taylor Swift (from the song, "Anti-Hero"):
"It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me"
"I should not be left to my own devices
They come with prices and vices
I end up in crisis (tale as old as time)"
As you may have guessed, here I am, back at DAY ONE! (UGH!)
@RubyRed427, I empathize. I own this lapse and it's all due to my ignoring the absolute truth that there's no such thing as, "one last time" for many, because it inevitably leads to another.
@globalhiker, congratulations on your 84 days and best wishes for your trip!
@renae149, Congratulations to you too!
11/23/24: 001 days
Today is a day after my son's 41st birthday and a day before my deceased brother's birthday. My son and his wife don't drink alcohol at all and my brother was a severe alcoholic who sadly ended up taking his own life. (My father, likewise.) You'd think that kind of family history would make me more determined to make better lifestyle choices. (It sure should!) It seems fitting that I choose 11/23 as my Soberversary date - a bridge between the birthdays of two very different people with whom I am deeply connected.
On average, Thanksgiving falls on either my son's or my brother's birthday about every seven years. Today's date, November 23rd, falls right in the middle and will be Thanksgiving Day in 2028. It would be so great to celebrate Thanksgiving for years SOBER! (May it be, but it's up to ME!)
Have a great weekend everyone!
💗Carole
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@Walela617 I love that song!! I identify with it, too.
Carole- You are doing the best you can. I am now drinking- pretty much daily. I am still checking in with this thread, but I am not sober. I think right now, this is the best I can do. I know I can do better. But for now, it is what it is. Y
I truly feel this has nothing to do with will or willpower; it is about the brain's wiring. This is how we cope with past trauma. I really feel for you. You've endured so much.
I am happy you posted; it makes me feel less alone. This is a safe place. We do not judge. We just keep trying to do a little better.
I knew full well when I broke my sober period of 47 days it was a slippery slope. I am down that slippery slope. I will try to climb back up, but not right now.
Sending you hugs. xoxo2 -
Side note: every time, I drink, I reset my clock (on an app). I keep thinking the app clock is going to start saying "Here you are again!! Resetting your clock." But instead the app always says relapse is normal/a part of the process. I like that the app doesn't make me feel badly. I already do that on my own.1
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Hi @RubyRed427, No judgement here. I'm so glad we have this safe space to share!
I think you might be right about the "brain wiring" learning to use alcohol as a coping mechanism. That doesn't mean it can't be rewired, but it's sure not easy!
I use the "Sober Time" app, which allows you to reset to a new date and you can also erase your history and make a fresh start. (I can't count how many times I've done this, but I'd really like to make this the LAST time!)
It has a space for journaling as well, and you can set personal milestones. It also has "built-in" milestones and a "Community" space.
I actually somehow sustained a pretty significant injury to my forehead a couple of nights ago and I have no idea what happened:
It's pretty deep and even looks like it probably needs a few stitches, but I don't plan on going to the doctor unless it gets infected or something. (It's shiny because I have Vaseline on my face right now.) It more than likely will leave a scar, which will serve as a permanent reminder that I need to be careful!
It's pretty scary when it gets to this point. It could have been something so much worse! I definitely need to be more careful and take care of myself better!
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@Walela oh wow please take good care. Do you sleep walk?
I've been watching a bit of Getting Sober Again... on youtube a few times a week just for a motivation boost and to learn "what's next" in this journey. Can't I just be normal and move on now?????
I am learning that after going AF for a stretch that we need to re-learn and address how to deal with our own thoughts and feelings and any underlying depression and anxiety caused by baggage carried over the years or any host of other less-than-optimal mental functioning due to whatever, aging, hormones, nutrition not the best, other physical ailment, side effect from medication, the endless sea of things. Oh Sh-t. This is such an obstacle course of endless challenges.2 -
Good morning everyone (or afternoon, or evening, depending on when you check in!)
Thanks so much for your thoughtful words, @globalhiker! I believe you're absolutely right about underlying "baggage" and relearning how to cope. (It doesn't help that I also have ADHD!) I don't sleepwalk, but unfortunately, when I drink I tend to binge, and when that happens, I have "blackouts" with major gaps in memory. This is just one reason why I need to stop alcohol 100%!
I think I may have finally arrived at a turning point. I've had many "wake-up calls", but this feels different somehow. I just have to sharpen my awareness whenever I start falling back into old thought patterns, deeply worn by habit over decades.
I'm staying home today; so I will report now:
11/24/24: 002 days AF
I dedicate today's post In memory of my brother, Phillip, 11/24/1960-10/26/2009 (less than a month before his 49th birthday). Happy Birthday Phillip! 🎈
Enjoy your day
💗 Carole
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