Sober Discussion (Ongoing)
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@renae149 Great choice! I like Perrier especially in a wine glass with a lemon slice.
@Walela617 Great job! 4 days AF. Making progress!
@globalhiker Awesome 2+ months. I have always heard of Smart Recovery but never checked it out. I think having some kind of program is very helpful.2 -
Hi everyone,
Ever notice that sometimes (like now) the edit option is available for our own (PLUS everyone's else's posts)? I was able to fix a typo from an entry I made last night - just now!
@renae149, GOOD for you and hubs! That's awesome! Perrier cheers to you both!
Safe at Home Base!
11/20/24: 005 days AF3 -
Day 3 in the books. ...
@Walela617 mine only let's me edit for an hour after my post. Guess I've never thought about editing another post...interesting
@RubyRed427 been wondering about your liver tests... Did your doc go ahead and rerun those for you?3 -
@renae149 I keep checking "mychart" from the doctor's office to see if they've been ordered and I don't see any order placed. I may call them today and ask. Thank you for checking.
I have now fallen off officially. I drank two nights since Saturday and I can see where this train is heading. I have a happy hour on Friday with work and I will be ordering NA beer. As for the wedding on Saturday, I will have club soda. I cannot let all my hard work these last few months take me back to old, detrimental habits. I'll still be checking in here.3 -
Hello, it's Carole, demonstrating how for some reason, I'm not only able to edit my own posts after an hour, I can also edit THIS post (not my own) TWO days later! November 23rd. Sorry! This is for example only. I will show one more example but will not touch anyone's posts after today! 💕(Just my own.)Day 3 in the books. ...
@Walela617 mine only let's me edit for an hour after my post. Guess I've never thought about editing another post...interesting
@RubyRed427 been wondering about your liver tests... Did your doc go ahead and rerun those for you?
Agree. I can edit my post for only one hour.1 -
Today will be day 84 AF. On the agenda is the gym and then put up the Christmas tree.
So, I booked my first trip to Europe since I started this AF spree. It's for April and of course the plane serves free unlimited alcohol. WHY? Maybe this is intentional, to sedate the travelers so they don't cause trouble? That sets off: do I choose to drink on the plane? do I choose not to drink on the plane but drink during vacation?
5 hour layover in Atlanta airport, another problem. Not a happy relaxing place. What do people do waiting for the next plane? Drink. Help me God.
I then answer myself: the wines on the plane generally suck, so it's not worth it. Yes the jack daniels and diet coke does clear my head but I will feel yukky 17 hours later. Ditch that thought right now. OK, I agreed with myself. Well what about when you get to Spain and you're in the land of endless vineyards and booze. Hopefully, I will be that far along in this AF journey that I won't care at all. Hopefully I will have learned to "set my boundaries" and don't let the drinking friends coerce or convince me to drink. And hopefully by then my airline will get with the program and see how many MILLIONS of us are out there that want an NA selection other than soda and juice please (I'd pay for it).
🌹11/23: 2nd example of post editing. Weird, right? Okay I'm done!🌹 (Please delete as you see fit. If you are unable to edit, please let me know and I will remove this part of the post.)
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@globalhiker That sounds like a wonderful trip!! Since it's far away still, I wouldn't worry too much. Just keep adding days to your calendar, one after another.
Years ago, I went on a trip to Florida by myself and was sober. The whole week was delightful. Never had a headache, didn't obsessively plan my next drink, etc. I even sat at a bar for dinner and had a club soda, shrimp and then a big slice of key lime pie. I remember that trip as being so peaceful. I think you'll be just fine on your trip.
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I will begin this post by quoting the great Taylor Swift (from the song, "Anti-Hero"):
"It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me"
"I should not be left to my own devices
They come with prices and vices
I end up in crisis (tale as old as time)"
As you may have guessed, here I am, back at DAY ONE! (UGH!)
@RubyRed427, I empathize. I own this lapse and it's all due to my ignoring the absolute truth that there's no such thing as, "one last time" for many, because it inevitably leads to another.
@globalhiker, congratulations on your 84 days and best wishes for your trip!
@renae149, Congratulations to you too!
11/23/24: 001 days
Today is a day after my son's 41st birthday and a day before my deceased brother's birthday. My son and his wife don't drink alcohol at all and my brother was a severe alcoholic who sadly ended up taking his own life. (My father, likewise.) You'd think that kind of family history would make me more determined to make better lifestyle choices. (It sure should!) It seems fitting that I choose 11/23 as my Soberversary date - a bridge between the birthdays of two very different people with whom I am deeply connected.
On average, Thanksgiving falls on either my son's or my brother's birthday about every seven years. Today's date, November 23rd, falls right in the middle and will be Thanksgiving Day in 2028. It would be so great to celebrate Thanksgiving for years SOBER! (May it be, but it's up to ME!)
Have a great weekend everyone!
💗Carole
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@Walela617 I love that song!! I identify with it, too.
Carole- You are doing the best you can. I am now drinking- pretty much daily. I am still checking in with this thread, but I am not sober. I think right now, this is the best I can do. I know I can do better. But for now, it is what it is. Y
I truly feel this has nothing to do with will or willpower; it is about the brain's wiring. This is how we cope with past trauma. I really feel for you. You've endured so much.
I am happy you posted; it makes me feel less alone. This is a safe place. We do not judge. We just keep trying to do a little better.
I knew full well when I broke my sober period of 47 days it was a slippery slope. I am down that slippery slope. I will try to climb back up, but not right now.
Sending you hugs. xoxo3 -
Side note: every time, I drink, I reset my clock (on an app). I keep thinking the app clock is going to start saying "Here you are again!! Resetting your clock." But instead the app always says relapse is normal/a part of the process. I like that the app doesn't make me feel badly. I already do that on my own.2
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Hi @RubyRed427, No judgement here. I'm so glad we have this safe space to share!
I think you might be right about the "brain wiring" learning to use alcohol as a coping mechanism. That doesn't mean it can't be rewired, but it's sure not easy!
I use the "Sober Time" app, which allows you to reset to a new date and you can also erase your history and make a fresh start. (I can't count how many times I've done this, but I'd really like to make this the LAST time!)
It has a space for journaling as well, and you can set personal milestones. It also has "built-in" milestones and a "Community" space.
I actually somehow sustained a pretty significant injury to my forehead a couple of nights ago and I have no idea what happened:
It's pretty deep and even looks like it probably needs a few stitches, but I don't plan on going to the doctor unless it gets infected or something. (It's shiny because I have Vaseline on my face right now.) It more than likely will leave a scar, which will serve as a permanent reminder that I need to be careful!
It's pretty scary when it gets to this point. It could have been something so much worse! I definitely need to be more careful and take care of myself better!
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@Walela oh wow please take good care. Do you sleep walk?
I've been watching a bit of Getting Sober Again... on youtube a few times a week just for a motivation boost and to learn "what's next" in this journey. Can't I just be normal and move on now?????
I am learning that after going AF for a stretch that we need to re-learn and address how to deal with our own thoughts and feelings and any underlying depression and anxiety caused by baggage carried over the years or any host of other less-than-optimal mental functioning due to whatever, aging, hormones, nutrition not the best, other physical ailment, side effect from medication, the endless sea of things. Oh Sh-t. This is such an obstacle course of endless challenges.3 -
Good morning everyone (or afternoon, or evening, depending on when you check in!)
Thanks so much for your thoughtful words, @globalhiker! I believe you're absolutely right about underlying "baggage" and relearning how to cope. (It doesn't help that I also have ADHD!) I don't sleepwalk, but unfortunately, when I drink I tend to binge, and when that happens, I have "blackouts" with major gaps in memory. This is just one reason why I need to stop alcohol 100%!
I think I may have finally arrived at a turning point. I've had many "wake-up calls", but this feels different somehow. I just have to sharpen my awareness whenever I start falling back into old thought patterns, deeply worn by habit over decades.
I'm staying home today; so I will report now:
11/24/24: 002 days AF
I dedicate today's post In memory of my brother, Phillip, 11/24/1960-10/26/2009 (less than a month before his 49th birthday). Happy Birthday Phillip! 🎈
Enjoy your day
💗 Carole
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Carole- thinking of you and honoring your brother.
I'm so sorry for the gash on your head.
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Thank you so much @RubyRed427! Hopefully, I can get an appointment with my doctor either tomorrow or Tuesday. I'm worried about infection. I didn't want to go to the ER because it's a $200 copay and there's no pain or bleeding. It just doesn't look like it will close on its own.
Wishing everyone a great week ahead!
💗 Carole
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As much as I want to report that I have 7 days under my belt, the weekends are my nemesis. So here I am, in the same boat as everyone. Except you @globalhiker !! You are rockin' it!!
@Walela617 that looks like a pretty good gash. Definitely should have someone look at it.
I am thankful for this small group. I feel like it helps me with the weeks. I just have to get out of my own head for the weekends.
Total side note, Carole, do you think you have extended editing privileges since you started this thread?3 -
Good morning friends. I woke up and said thank goodness I am not going to drink today. My face is so puffy and dry. All my "events" , dinners out, weekends away, are all over for awhile. I have no temptation. Plus I like feeling and sleeping well. Alcohol is a thief- takes away joy, peace and happiness. Luckily during Thanksgiving dinner none of us drink, except my husband. So that won't be tempting either. Have a great day!
@Renae149 Yes, weekends are my nemesis too. Old habits die hard, I guess.
@Walela617 Let us know if you got stitches or what the doctor said.
@globalhiker Keep it going! You will never regret being sober, that's for sure.
@xbowhunter Happy Thanksgiving and hope you are doing well.3 -
Good morning, friends.
Yesterday was day 71sober for me and feeling great!
The people around me are finally starting to see that I am done with it for good. They have seemed to stop asking me to drink so that's good. My spouse continues to drink but that is her choice. One thing that I noticed recently is when she has one too many, she says some nasty things to me. Never noticed it before when I was drinking with her but now, I am hyper aware, and it is a real eye opener for me. lol
Have a great day people...
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@RubyRed427 I like your attitude!! Find your power and go
@Walela617 sending positive thoughts your way. Self care #1 priority, for you, me and everyone else.
@renae149 weekends were always tougher than weekdays. It helps to plan one's hours, distract, stay busy and not dash out for a supermarket run at the wrong time.
I'd always return from an innocent trip to Target Saturday afternoons only to open up my bottle of delicious strawberry-scented fizzy pretty pink rose poison and drink it all before dinner while I was cleaning the house. All 625 calories of fizzy pretty pink poison. Then my blood sugar would crash and I would overeat dinner. It gave me awesome energy to clean the house but that was some fattening addictive fizzy pretty pink poison indeed.
@xbowhunter your motivation keeps us going!...I find my drinking spouse to be very hypersensitive and his interpretation of my words is not correct when he's had too many. I have to choose my words carefully. I also can't discuss drinking or drinking less in front of him while he is drinking. He gets very irritable and acts like a grumpy old man. On days my husband doesn't drink (usually always Mon,Tues, Thurs) his personality is Mr. Super Nice Guy though. I make sure to pay him compliments those days to try to keep the good behavior going. For me, I really wish he would just quit because when he went AF for many months, our relationship was at it's best.4 -
Hi everyone,
I am so happy to come home safe and to read everyone's posts!
@xbowhunter and @globalhiker: you're doing awesome! I look forward to also celebrating sober days so close to 100!
I went to the doctor's office. My regular PCP wasn't there. No stitches, but I was given an antibiotic ointment, Mupirocin 2%. I think it's in some kind of petrolatum base. This doctor doesn't recommend Neosporin. It was scabbed over when I got there but of course when I cleaned it, it opened up again. It's not bleeding now. I expect I will end up with a "battle scar", but this IS kind of like a battle (for me anyway) So be it, but my modeling career is over, LOL!
@renae149, I didn't think of that about the editing being enabled for people who start discussions. Makes sense, but I'll be "hands off" anyone else's posts from now on.
@globalhiker, I've always been vulnerable after shopping trips as well, but not if I went straight home, where there's never any alcohol.
@RubyRed427, you're so right about alcohol being a thief - especially of time! Also, sleep, money, good relationships, attractiveness, etc. - so MANY things.
As mentioned above, having a significant other who is still drinking can be quite challenging at times. In that respect, I'm lucky I am alone, but I do get lonely, which can also be a challenge. There are so many obstacles, not we can be stronger by supporting each other in our efforts. If I didn't belong to this group I would be trapped with little hope of escaping this destructive habit. I'm very grateful you are all here!
11/25/24: Day 003 AF
I finally learned to click on "Save Draft," frequently so I don't lose text while composing! I will check in tomorrow.
Take care!
💗 Carole
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Good morning, friends!
Carole- thanks for the update!! I am happy that you didn't need stitches. And yes, battle scars make us who we are!
Two years ago, I hosted a party. When the guests were leaving I twisted my ankle on the steps. It hurt so badly, I went to the ER the next day and I broke my leg. I couldn't help but think that could have been avoided, if I hadn't been drinking tons of wine and having a great time. When my head is clear, I take my time, and I am more careful. Your battle scar reminded me of my leg.
I slept so well without the poison in my system And my resting heart rate is back to normal. It was tough though because last night; I felt irritable and angry. So, I went to bed early to read and sleep. Today, I feel fantastic. Have a great day!3 -
Hello everyone,
Safe at Home Base!
11/26/24: Day 004 AF
I'm so glad you're feeling much better, @RubyRed427! A good sleep makes a big difference! I think I'll go to bed early tonight. ("Early" for me is 10 or 10:30 on a weeknight.) Scary story about that fall and the broken leg after the party you hosted! YIKES! (I'm more careful without the "poison" in my system as well.)
Tomorrow they're letting us out of work at 2pm! My son, his wife and I decided to have our Thanksgiving on Friday instead of Thursday because the weather on Boston is supposed to be really yucky! That's better for me because I get a full day to rest and reflect on being grateful and also to prepare a couple of things I will be bringing for our get-together.
Also, I ordered a turkey breast for me and I'm going to cook it in the Crock-Pot on Thursday. (If it comes out nice I will share the recipe.)
Best to all! I will check back in tomorrow.
💗 Carole2 -
Hello Everyone
Today will be day 74 AF and so far, so good.
I am now at the point where I don't even think about alcohol whatsoever. When I am around others that are drinking, I actually feel sorry for them, and I wonder do they truly understand how damaging it is both physically and mentally. My wife continues to drink, and our house is loaded with booze and still it doesn't even enter my head to start again. I have had some pretty stressful situations lately and instead of reaching for the poison I have faced the issues head on as I should have a long time ago!
Have a great holiday weekend my U.S friends!
Cheers!2 -
Today is day 88 AF in a row. Been reading about how the brain continuous to improve in optimizing it's function. For sure, I've noticed more natural joy. For sure, my fatigue is gone. No more naps or anything. I sometimes wake too early like at 4:30 am, but I am wide awake and well rested and totally ready to get going. Sweet cravings are really subsiding. I feel like my psyche and physical operating system are finally getting aligned and working in sync. I am very curious to see what happens next - am I still really in the "honeymoon" phase as they call it or will I continue to feel this good and better as I progress?2
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globalhiker wrote: »Today is day 88 AF in a row. Been reading about how the brain continuous to improve in optimizing it's function. For sure, I've noticed more natural joy. For sure, my fatigue is gone. No more naps or anything. I sometimes wake too early like at 4:30 am, but I am wide awake and well rested and totally ready to get going. Sweet cravings are really subsiding. I feel like my psyche and physical operating system are finally getting aligned and working in sync. I am very curious to see what happens next - am I still really in the "honeymoon" phase as they call it or will I continue to feel this good and better as I progress?
Your doing amazing and this describes how I feel to a T! 1 -
Hi everyone!
WOW, @xbowhunter (74 days) and @globalhiker (88 days)! You are really going strong! I am looking forward to when I don't even think about it, but to be honest, now that I've stopped watching or reading local, national and global news almost 100%, I am doing much better! Even my voracious appetite for food is under control! We'll see how I sleep tonight and through the weekend. I will report my AF day # once I am home. I have a few errands to run but I am NOT going to stop anywhere for a drink! @xbowhunter, I simply CANNOT have alcohol available at home! It's amazing that you can have it there and still abstain! We're having a holiday party for my work on Monday evening where they give everyone two drink tickets, but I'm just going to have soda or mineral water. (I also have trouble refusing free stuff, but I will hold steady, I PROMISE!) @globalhiker, I think I know what you mean by "natural joy". The sunrise outside my window this morning really moved me! I hope your "honeymoon phase" lasts a long, long time!
My son and his wife and I decided to start our celebration at noon on Friday, since the weather tomorrow is expected to be bad. We're starting early so we can still have our traditional walk around Fresh Pond (the reservoir in the Cambridge area near where they live).Until then, I wish you and all of your loved ones a wonderful Thanksgiving and weekend!
"Gobble-MEOWWW! I'll GET you for this!"
💗Carole
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