Sober Discussion (Ongoing)
Replies
-
Good morning friends! Happy Thanksgiving to those in the USA. But I am very very grateful for all of you. I read your messages and take them to heart. I have not been sober BUT I have not been binging either, so that's a win. Last night, I had two glasses of wine during dinner and a movie. And then my brain said no more.... you want to sleep well. I did sleep well over 9 hours. Today I'll have low key day with some family. We have different ideologies politically but I think none of us will discuss that today. And we don't drink during the meal or after because my sister has been sober for a few years so I like to support her that way. My parents don't drink anymore either. I think my husband will have some wine (it's BYOB) but that won't bother me. To each his own.
Yes, I think overall it would be super helpful if he joined me on my desire to be AF, but that's not his desire. We can only change ourselves. It's rainy here and cold, but it is still pleasant to be indoors with some music and candles on. Will cook a side dish later.
3 -
@globalhiker You are so right when you say you are still watching youtube to stay focused on your mission. Keeping your goals in front of you by listening to podcasts and reading articles helps so much.
@renae149 It's so sweet you've been together for over 40 years. I'm sure he misses his drinking buddy (that's what my hubby says) but someone will only change for themselves. That's what Rob Lowe famously says you can't get sober for anyone else but you. Sorry you are sick. Wrap yourself in a blanket and have some honey in your hot tea.
@Walela617 That happens to me always. I have a great plan and there's a glitch like your crock pot is too small for the turkey breast. Great step count! Yesterday I cleaned the house thoroughly and even went to the gym to work out. I am now going to just enjoy these few days off. I plan on painting my Christmas cards- simple watercolor pine tree. I've been on Instagram watching some tutorials on it. We shall see if they look as good as the tutorial. LOL
@xbowhunter I cringed a little when I read your note about your wife saying snarky things to you when drinking. I feel that way too. After drinking a lot, I feel a dark cloud come over me and I can get quite nasty...saying things I don't mean. It doesn't happen often, but it makes me cringe. Keep up the good fight. It's hard for others to picture you being happy sober because you've been a drinker and they love their drinking pal. It normalizes how they drink. My friend who drinks a lot used to say "I've seen people who are alcoholics and you just aren't like them." I said but that doesn't mean I don't have a problem.3 -
Happy Thanksgiving everyone!
@renae149, I'm so sorry you're not feeling well! I hope you recover quickly! Congratulations to you and your husband for almost 40 years together! That's wonderful!
@globalhiker, I might look into the online meeting resources as well. I'm feeling pretty strong right now but it's smart to look for other tools to help reinforce our efforts.
I slept pretty well last night! Here are my stats:
Quality rest makes such a difference! I have good energy today!
I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend! I'm making a turkey breast for me today but tomorrow I will be celebrating with my son and his wife. I'm looking forward to seeing them.
I will check back this evening to report my day AF (not going out today - it's rainy and raw here in Boston)
💗Carole
3 -
Good afternoon all!
Even though I just had two big mugs of coffee, I decided to take my blood pressure and heart rate readings. They look great!
Typically, for a few days after an alcoholic binge, my blood pressure readings have been at times critically high, as in, 'if they were taken in a doctor's office, I would be admitted to a hospital' high. This is very encouraging progress for me! I MUST stay with it this time!
I took my readings a few times, and each has been consistent. If it seems a bit low, it's likely because I walk regularly at an average of 4mph. As an example of a typical weekday, yesterday was like this:
I feel a bit strange today ("fuzzy" and lightheaded); I hope it's not due to my head wound. It doesn't seem to be improving much. I still think they should have stitched it closed, but I assume the doctor knows best; so I'll just have to be watchful and careful over the next few days.
Best to all; I will check back this evening.
💞
4 -
Hello everyone,
12/28/24: 006 days AF
Hope you're day was great!4 -
Today is Day 90 AF. Had a lovely and delicious AF Thanksgiving. Half the family was AF along with me. I even had bourbon in the house, husband snuck it in, I looked at the label and did not drink it or want it. He either doesn't understand it's a faux pas to do that to someone you love or he is testing me or he thinks I could deserve a day off the AF diet, but regardless I hope anyone reading this practices extra kindness to their loved ones by supporting them trying to be AF during the holiday season.
ODDLY - I did wake up feeling mildly hungover and achy and I think it's the combo of the gelato, pies, and diet soda and unusual amounts of saturated fat and sodium. I did only have 1 meal but it was an unexpected assault on my body to process, to say the least.
As I wake up enjoying a wonderful cup of exceptionally tasty Colombian coffee and a breakfast of scrambled egg whites and salsa, I think about what's my next move?
I agreed with myself to commit to another 3 months of "Happy AF". My personality is such that if my goal is too small, I lose motivation. If it's too high a goal, I am apt to de-rail myself. So committing to another 3 month stretch I have a high degree of certainty (99% confidence level) it's do-able.
But I have to add-on a goal, because otherwise if I don't, I don't improve. I will start measuring my carb (especially sugar intake), track that and aim to reduce it by 75% at least. Reliance on diet sodas and sweets, I think, was the only way I could've gotten this far. It helped a ton. But now it's time to wean off the sugar addiction and train to get this old body ready to hike the Alps.
3 -
Good morning everyone, happy day after Thanksgiving! For me, my "real" Thanksgiving is today. My son and his wife are picking me up at noon.
Yesterday I roasted a 6-pound turkey breast. It came out great and I have plenty of leftovers, even though I probably ate about 8-10 ounces! I also had a baked potato, roasted baby carrots and pumpkin pudding for dessert. (Toasted some pumpkin seeds as well.)
This morning my scale showed 153, which is down! I have to be careful over at my son's because I don't want to have to do "damage control" over the rest of the weekend. (We're going for a long walk today too; so that should help.)
My son doesn't like turkey; so we'll be having Middle Eastern food. I'm bringing pumpkin pie, sparkling cider and sparkling mineral water, hot cherry peppers stuffed with prosciutto and provolone and a gift bag full of treats for both of them.
I was able to store 5 three-ounce servings of turkey in the freezer for use in soup lunches, plus I have at least six four-ounce servings in the refrigerator. This one breast will make a lot of meals for me for sandwiches, salads and dinners.
[So glad I saved a draft! I had to step away and got timed out of this thread, but when I went back in my text was there!]
@globalhiker, WOW! 90 days! Way to stay strong around all that temptation! I don't think it was deliberate sabotage on your husband's part, but I'm inspired that you resisted. The holiday season is particularly challenging for so many reasons. I'm going to follow your example and stand my ground! (Luckily, my son and his wife don't do alcohol.)
I'll check back in when I get home.
Have a wonderful day!
💖 Carole4 -
Hi everyone,
Safe at home base!
11/29/24: 007 days AF
Starting tomorrow, I will count days AF to match my Sober Time app; so, even though I stopped drinking officially before 3am on Saturday, 11/23, (since I began my count in the app at that time), the app is calling today Day 006 (for total, completed 24-hour periods); therefore, tomorrow I will count as Day 007 so I will be in sync with the app (as in: Saturday, 3am-Sunday, 3am = Day 001 completed)That's okay - as long as I keep this streak going!
Had Thanksgiving with my son and his wife today, but first we went on a 5-mile walk around Fresh Pond reservoir. I sure did eat (a LOT) but it was all healthy food and I didn't take any leftovers home. (This was my lunch and dinner.) I'm not going to log it all in (I'm afraid if being discouraged by caloric "sticker shock"), but will resume regular logging tomorrow.
I'm having tea right now and I intend to go to bed earlier so I don't eat again!
Have a great weekend!
💗Carole3 -
Good morning everyone,
I wanted to share my "Sober Time" milestone with you:
From now on, I will report in the mornings for the previous day, in order to match the counting in my Sober Time app.
Have a great weekend!
💗Carole
4 -
Checking in - Day 91AF is here. I actually feel like drinking because I am so hungry from avoiding sweets and chocolates so far. Plus I just booked a trip to Switzerland for next year (YAY) and am so excited I just want to drink. I'll go out and buy fruit instead. Maybe stop into GNC and see if they have any protein shake concoctions that take away sugar cravings.3
-
Hi @globalhiker, Congratulations on your 91 days and your upcoming trip! I'm sure you won't give in after so much success!
I brought Martinelli's sparkling apple cider and San Pellegrino sparkling mineral water to my son's and his wife's place yesterday. We mixed 1 part cider to 3 parts mineral water and had them in fancy wine glasses. It was delicious (bubbly and not too sweet, but you can always mix 1:1 if you want something sweeter)! It felt festive and I enjoyed it so much I'm going to pick up more to have at home.
I had a nice slice of pumpkin pie yesterday and I don't feel guilty at all! (I'm making healthy pumpkin custard right now.) You deserve a treat after staying so strong!
Enjoy your weekend! 💞 Carole2 -
Sharing a healthy, pumpkin custard recipe I found on the internet: I used sucralose drops (to taste) for sweetener, maple extract instead of vanilla extract, Planet Oak unsweetened vanilla oat milk and I also ended up baking it about 10 or 15 minutes longer until it seemed done to me. (I sprayed the ramekins with avocado oil before filling to prevent sticking.) It came out great!
Yeah, they spelled "pumpkin" wrong. (I took screenshots because they wanted me to download something before I could save it and I didn't want to do that.) I halved the recipe and made two, generous servings, both of which I plan to enjoy today! (I'm going to make it again for tomorrow, but I'll probably use less oat milk next time.) The recipe said to chill these, but I enjoyed my first serving while it was still warm. I'm going to chill the second serving for later and compare.
Enjoy your evening - I'll check back in tomorrow! 💗
3 -
Today is the beginning of month 4. For some reason, beginnings always seem more fun than just another day. What will month 4 bring? Or, better stated, how will I create and enjoy my month 4?
One of my goals besides AF, is improving the quality of my sleep. And figuring out what I am eating that is giving me what feels like arthritis.
@Walela617 your recipe does sound tasty.1 -
Good morning everyone,
December 1st, can you believe it? I joined another group for December where we report our weight daily. I'm hoping this will help keep me on track through the remainder of this holiday season and into the new year.
I'm off to a good start. I am happy with today's weigh-in, because on Thanksgiving morning the scale showed 153; so my weight is actually down from the last three days. I indulged a bit, but was very careful. I also did a 5-mile walk on Friday; so that helped too. I want to keep this momentum going because I hope to lose at least four more pounds by the end of this month so I can enter the new year in the 140's!
@globalhiker, I had a lengthy response to your post but due to not saving my draft, it timed out on me! I hope you are able to find out which food or foods are causing those arthritis symptoms! I am also trying to improve the quality of my sleep. My Fitbit sleep score was 90 on Friday night and 87 last night, with over 9 hours and over 6 hours sleep, respectively. Score depends on the amount of time awake as well as three, different sleep stages: REM, light and deep. I notice that my REM and deep sleep are increasing and my light sleep and time awake are decreasing.
My blood pressure and heart rate are improving also. Today after coffee it was 129/74, with heart rate 54 bpm. (HR is low due to all the 4mph walking.)
I'm going to make the pumpkin custard again today - this time with less oat milk so it will be thicker and will cook faster. (I liked it better chilled.)
Enjoy your day everyone! I will check back in tomorrow morning.
💗 Carole
3 -
No news to report. Not meeting my goals but I always read your comments.
3 -
Hi, @RubyRed427, I'm just glad you're still here and checking in. Best wishes!🕊️2
-
Happy Monday everyone. Made it through another weekend AF with the usual temptations and had to fight off the enablers asking me to just have one drink with them. When are people going to learn that I'm done with the poison? lol
78 days AF...
3 -
Hi everyone,
12/02/24: 009 days AF
Today begins my Day 10. I'm going by the Sober Time app count, which doesn't count a completed day until the following day (makes sense). My skin is slowly improving, as is my sleep quantity and quality. My blood pressure and heart rate readings have been consistently good over the past several days.
@xbowhunter, good for you, fighting off the "enablers". That hasn't happened to me yet, this time around, but in the past people have said, "Oh, do you have a drinking problem?" whenever I'd say, "No thanks." I would reply, "Nooo, I have a STOPPING problem - No problem drinking!" If more than an acquaintance, I would also say something like, "You're my (friend/family member, etc.) and I need you to help me." That would usually stop them from tempting me. The truth is I also have allergic symptoms when I drink to excess. I sometimes point that out as well. (78 days is AWESOME! I look forward to celebrating that day!)
Have a great day!
💗Carole2 -
Congrats to all of you making it through the weekend AF!
@Walela617 awesome you are at day 10 AF already! What a comeback!
@RubyRed427 glad you're still here! Come join the AF party
@xbowhunter what's your game plan for mastering the holidays, meaning what will you drink? Are you going to places with NA options or can you bring your own?
I have an event this Saturday at a restaurant and I have to attend so I am at the mercy of what they have that is NA. I will likely drink a dark chocolate diet protein drink on my way to the restaurant so at least I don't show up with low blood sugar or intense hunger which are both triggers for me. Fall back option since I am avoiding sugar and diet soda, I'll ask them to make me a drink of club soda mixed with one-third lemon juice since all bars and restaurants have that on hand.
I have a response ready for "How come you're not drinking" that won't make the drinkers self aware of their own drinking, feel like they are alcoholics, feel sorry for me, or challenge me. Simple truths like I think I am allergic to it (I do) won't be disputed. I also don't want to get trapped into a preach-y conversation and ruin their day and plan to change the conversation real quick. The less we talk about it and think about it, the better and switching the topic over to the food real quick is my game plan.
3 -
globalhiker wrote: »Congrats to all of you making it through the weekend AF!
@Walela617 awesome you are at day 10 AF already! What a comeback!
@RubyRed427 glad you're still here! Come join the AF party
@xbowhunter what's your game plan for mastering the holidays, meaning what will you drink? Are you going to places with NA options or can you bring your own?
I have an event this Saturday at a restaurant and I have to attend so I am at the mercy of what they have that is NA. I will likely drink a dark chocolate diet protein drink on my way to the restaurant so at least I don't show up with low blood sugar or intense hunger which are both triggers for me. Fall back option since I am avoiding sugar and diet soda, I'll ask them to make me a drink of club soda mixed with one-third lemon juice since all bars and restaurants have that on hand.
I have a response ready for "How come you're not drinking" that won't make the drinkers self aware of their own drinking, feel like they are alcoholics, feel sorry for me, or challenge me. Simple truths like I think I am allergic to it (I do) won't be disputed. I also don't want to get trapped into a preach-y conversation and ruin their day and plan to change the conversation real quick. The less we talk about it and think about it, the better and switching the topic over to the food real quick is my game plan.
My game plan to master the holidays is I don't have one... lol but if it's a BYOB I will bring my NA beers because I do enjoy them. If it's a non-BYOB I will just stick with water because I don't drink sugary NA drinks either. 3 -
I hope everyone is well. We are taking the train to NYC in the morning to see our daughter who is flying in from London with her boyfriend today. We see her maybe once a year. She is a non drinker so it will be easy not to indulge. I look forward to seeing the Rockettes and the lighting of the Rockefeller Xmas tree 5
-
Hi everyone,
Welcome back @SunnyDays930! That sounds like a fantastic time with your daughter! Enjoy!💞
My employers had their holiday party today. Everyone was allowed two drink tickets for alcohol, but I just had two, 12 oz. bottles of sparkling water with cherry flavor (0 calories)! Therefore, it is okay that I ate probably over 2,000 calories! Why? Because I say so! 😉 (Also, it's a lot better than drinking 2,000 calories)!🏆
12/02: 009 days AF (completed at 3am, but I'm finishing up day 10!) I feel better reporting this way, because I'm trying so hard! (Holidaze!)
@globalhiker, my doctor and I think I might be allergic to alcohol as well. If you saw my skin, eyebrows and scalp after a binge night on alcohol, you would probably agree! Have fun at your event this Saturday and stay strong!💪
@xbowhunter, I don't like NA sugar drinks either. I haven't tried the NA beers but I've tried a couple of NA wines that are (as we say in Boston) "hahfway decent". I prefer soda and bitters with a twist of lime or something similar. I enjoy the sparkling water with natural flavors too (no sweetener).
Will report my TEN DAYS tomorrow morning.
Have a nice night,
💗Carole3 -
Day 2 AF it’s a little win for me. One day at a time.5
-
RubyRed427 wrote: »Day 2 AF it’s a little win for me. One day at a time.
Baby steps. everyday gets a little easier... 2 -
@SunnyDays930 lucky you, to be in the land of the best pizza (I am a native NYer). The smell of chestnuts roasting on most corners during the Holidays! What is great about Manhattan is that it is so easy to walk off the food. My favorite museum was the Metropolitan Museum of Art. That was my spot every Sunday morning when I was a member I'd be there at the doorstep when the front doors first unlock. I had the whole place to myself practically. It was the place and the moment for calm and serenity in the City.
So 3 months down, plus 2 days. I don't want to know when I get to day 100 AF because I am apt to call it good and done and that is dangerous. I'll keep playing this Mind Game because that is what it is.
@RubyRed427 your post lifted my spirits this morning!
Have a great AF day people 3 -
Hello everyone.
We booked a Hawaiin cruise yesterday on the NCL pride of America ship for Nov 2025 .
My wife did the booking and added the drink package for both of us. Anyone see an issue with that? lol
Any-who all I said was we will need to revisit that next year some-time before we pay the cruise off. I will not be drinking alcohol so it's kind of a waste of money in my eyes and a temptation I really don't need. It's around $600.00cdn for both of us so I'd rather use that for an excursion rather than pouring poison down my throat and feeling like crap all week !
cheers!
5 -
Hi everyone,
I made my 10-day milestone! (Okay, I was able to make it smaller & upload it again.):
This time I was able to upload it from my phone; next time I will make it a bit smaller.
12/03: 10 days AF (now on Day 11)
@xbowhunter, I hope you can get some credit for your last of the drink package for your Hawaiian cruise! I'm sure your wife would understand.
@globalhiker, there are places in Boston where you can also get great pizza, though I haven't had pizza in quite a while. (Maybe I'll celebrate with pizza when I hit 100 days, or 140 lbs., whichever comes first?)
Hi, @Rubyred427, you're right about one day at a time, and every day counts!
Have a great day everyone!
💗 Carole
4 -
@Walela617 Yahoo!! Day 10 is such a beautiful feeling. I love the medal, too.
@xbowhunter I tend to agree that for you the alcohol package is a waste of money. I"m not sure why she is doing that. Do you feel you can have an honest conversation and ask her why she did that and that you don't feel supported in your goals when she does things like that.
@globalhiker 3 months and counting. That is truly tremendous. It takes incredible effort to do that and you are working so hard and gaining so much insight.
@SunnyDays930 Have a fabulous time. We went to NYC a few years ago in the wintertime and loved it. I love when you're just walking around and find a gem of a restaurant that is to die for. I don't typically plan ahead for restaurants because I like to wander and see where I end up.
p.s. I believe my husband secretly likes that I went back to drinking. I know that sounds awful. He's such a sweetheart and I love him, but I think he likes having his drinking buddy back.
2 -
@globalhiker Thanks for your kind comments on the less alcohol thread. I love reading that thread, too.2
-
@Rubyred427, Go YOU! Less beats excess! It's all about whatever works best for you and your lifestyle! 💞3
