Sober Discussion (Ongoing)
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I went to a party last night, had drinks, and said some embarrassing comments to various people. It is a little fuzzy in my mind, and I also hurt my husband's feelings blaming him for my problems. See what you are missing by not drinking? Stay the course. Keep fighting the good fight. You're saving yourself from a lot of misery and disappointment.
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Hi everyone,
Thank you so much for your well wishes! I really think they are helping!
This morning the COVID test line took longer to appear and is fainter than before - online information from CDC states that this means the level of virus is decreasing - yay!
I am not running a temperature but I still have some congestion and a partially blocked right ear, but otherwise I'm okay.
On the plus side, I am losing a little weight. (Hope I can keep it off!)
Dear @RubyRed427, please hang in there! We are all here for you! I can't count the number of times throughout the years where I have had an experience like yours last night. Yesterday is done and today is a brand new day; right now is a brand new moment! I know how hard it is to start over because I have done so, over and over again. There is no judgment here - only empathy, support, encouragement and understanding! This is an unconditional, safe space for you, always.🌹
12/15/24: 22 days AF (on day 23)
Enjoy your Sunday everyone!
💗 Carole
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@Walela617 Thank you for your kind words of support. I am cringing at what I think I may have said last night. Saving grace was my husband dragged me home early from the party. He saved me from any more embarrassments. He is a saint.
I will start fresh. I like to think last night's life lesson will motivate me to stay AF for now.
Thanks again, Carole, for your sweet words.3 -
You're welcome, @RubyRed427! I'll be thinking about you. I'm so glad your husband is there to support you! 🦋3
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Good morning my sober friends!
Bad news good news.
Bad news is I had a regular beer on Saturday. I just wanted to see what would happen.
Good news is I hated it. Felt really crappy and nausea for about an hour after.
So, there it is I now know that alcohol is 100% a no go for me, and I can carry on with my alcohol-free life and not wonder if I can or should go back to it. I feel free and relived and I know I'm not missing out on anything... lol
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3 months and a half AF done. Weekend was fine. My drinking husband was nice on Saturday but Sunday he must've drank all day long and he started being obnoxious and really hypersensitive. My nice, sweet, loving husband turns into the devil on his IPA can. So my Sunday sucked, lost a good day in life.
@xbowhunter seems like 1 taste test should not reset the whole count. I listed to a sobriety video where they said an option is to mark this event with an asterisk or whatever and keep on counting AF days. Good that you stopped.
@RubyRed427 today is a brand new day and it's sounding like a fresh start is coming your way.3 -
Hi everyone,
@xbowhunter, you have demonstrated great control - I could NEVER have stopped at one! (That's my biggest problem with alcohol.) Now that you've proven that you can, and you also found out that your body now recognizes alcohol as something toxic., I agree with @RubyRed427: you should not have to start over at "Day 1" in this case. After all, this was only a test, and you passed with flying colors!🏁 (I like the "asterisk" idea, but I hope I never have to use it!)
Dear @globalhiker, I'm so sorry to hear about your bad day with your husband. Maybe if you bring it up when he's not drinking and in a good mood and reinforce how sweet he is at times like this instead of when he's doing the IPA, it might influence him to reconsider his occasional bouts of excessive drinking?
12/16/24: 23 days AF (on day 24)
Have a great day,
💗 Carole
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Hi Guys! I had a great time with my daughter in NYC. We walked all over, saw the Rockettes, ate amazing food, went to a jazz club etc. A good time was had by all.
I have been drinking a bit, but not in New York which was a goal. Right now I am on Day 4 in a row AF. I would like to keep this going and finish the year AF so I don't have to start on 1/1/25. I absolutely hate starting a new year with a hangover and I rarely drink on NYE anyway.4 -
Morning all!
The most challenging days to be AF are upon us.
My personal plan is to have none. The peer pressure will be over the top, but I will be strong and get through this with a clear head and a healthy attitude!
cheers!3 -
3 months + 17 AF days done. Bring on the Holiday AF Challenge, I say! We are strong and can do it. And, in reality, we can convince ourselves it's not hard at all. It's not necessary to have fun. It's a waste of money and calories. It ages us. It makes us ill. It controls us. It's way overrated and the only reason so many others are drinking is because they follow the tribe and think it's the way to have fun or they are addicted and in denial.
@SunnyDays930 glad you're with us. There is strength in numbers. We won't regret a sober holiday! When Jan. 2nd comes around, we will feel good and accomplished with more energy and healthier and less bloated too.
@Walela617 good advice, I tried. Maybe I will try to encourage us going out on day hikes, away from home and away from the beer fridge. He may be depressed. He's getting older and he has back pain and he is not able to do the same trail running he used to (he could if he lifted weights and stretched but refuses). So if that depression can be lifted somehow, it should help to address the underlying cause of the increased drinking (self-medication).2 -
Sorry everyone! I missed my post yesterday. Here's today:
12/18/24: 25 days AF (on day 26)
Welcome back @sunnydays930! You beat a really imposing challenge by avoiding alcohol throughout your New York stay, even while at a jazz club! 🏆
Hi, @globalhiker, I used to self-medicate with alcohol when I was depressed as well, failing to let it sink in at the time that alcohol is a depressant and just makes things worse! I hope your husband's back pain improves. Aging and pain can definitely contribute to depression.
@xbowhunter, it's true that this time of year brings the most challenging days for us, but I'm sure we can get through it alcohol-FREE!
Enjoy your day,
💗Carole2 -
Good morning, friends. I'm sleeping much better this week sober. Heart rate is 10 beats lower at night; I know I've pointed that out before. My husband sometimes tells me that his heart rate is the same at night whether he drinks or not. I said "You're fooling yourself if you think alcohol doesn't hurt the heart."
Congrats to Carole, @Xbowhunter and @Globalhiker. You are doing soooo well!
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@SunnyDays930 Seeing New York City sober must have been the best!! Happy you had a great time!2
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Another side benefit of sobriety is that at work, you don't feel queasy or lethargic. I've had lots of energy at work and felt happy despite the crazy atmosphere. The students are really revving up for the holiday break and they are a ball full of energy.3
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@RubyRed427 you are so right about the lethargy! I used to have afternoon crashes and I would have to nap but that went away after about the 5th week of AF. I seem to strangely get by with 6 hours sleep at time but I think I am having deeper sleep/better quality REM sleep, etc. It's a game changer how sleep quality (instead of quantity) affects mood and attitude and energy during the day.
I'm not kidding, I am almost 60 and I feel as energetic as I was in my 20s and 30s now.3 -
Hi everyone,
12/19/24: 26 days AF (on day 27)
I love reading your posts about all the benefits enjoyed from staying AF, including more energy and better quality sleep. I am also noticing these changes and my blood pressure and heart rate readings have been great! (It really does make a big difference.)
I am working from home again. Testing negative for COVID now but I still have some residual symptoms, like ear "fullness", slight dizziness and reduced hearing, especially in my right ear. I ordered some ear drops and sinus meds so hopefully that will clear it up. I still have fatigue but I''m sleeping okay. My score was 79 last night and I got 7 hours and 35 minutes. (Awake: 14%, REM: 20%, Light: 52%, Deep: 15%)
Have a great day. I will check back in tomorrow!
💗Carole3 -
Hello everyone!
Now that Alcohol is gone from my life, I am moving on to eliminating some toxic foods to hopefully reduce my joint inflammation issues.
Going to eliminate for 10 days to see how I feel. I know it's the holiday season so there is no better time than now... lol
Eliminate
All dairy (milk and cheese)
Sugar
Wheat (no more bread)
This is going to be tough because I love cheese and bread. Eliminating sugar will be easy because I don't consume much of it anyway.
cheers!
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Good morning! I am on day 4 AF today but I notice when I post my early days, I jinx myself. I am going to a work party tonight and dinner out with old friends. So I am going to have to make a decision. Maybe an AF bottle of beer would work.
@xbowhunter I like how you strive to keep improving. Sugar is the worst. I have been getting headaches lately after chocolate or something sweet. Good luck!
@Walela617 That Covid sure got you!! But I'm so relieved you're better. Did you get your kitty? Happy Friday!2 -
@globalhiker Good morning! Yes, the energy level is so much higher! What about how fresh your face looks and your skin glows. I remember thinking that my eyesight improved a little when I was sober for my long period. 3
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Good morning! 5 days until Christmas.....who is ready?! Not me!
I just listened to a really good early sobriety meditation on you tube. It was about forgiving yourself and moving forward. It was just what I needed to hear today. It's called Guided Meditation for Early Sobriety by Amie G. She is very soothing.3 -
HAPPY FRIDAY!
3 months + 19 days AF. I don't foresee a problem being AF until I have to get on a plane which isn't for 3 months. The busy airport, the flight delay or cancellation, the cold cramped plane, lack of sleep, jet lag, all comforts from home are gone, all of it makes people drink, 2 over-priced 9 oz wines at the airport was my old remedy. I better ask my dr. for something to knock me out otherwise I am apt to drink.
@SunnyDays930 thanks for the tip, I should check that one out this morning while I'm on my exercise bike.
@RubyRed427 yes you have a lot of AF options to drink. Alcohol is always the worst choice. I tell myself I am drinking, just something better.
@xbowhunter if you find your root cause of the pain, let me know. Please let the culprit not be cheese of all things.Trying vit D and quality omegas now.
@Walela617, what % REM is good? I've never measured my sleep quality, maybe I need to focus on that.3 -
Hi everyone,
12/20/24: 27 days AF (on day 28) Boston is snowing right now! (We have about an inch on the ground.)
Even though I've been doing very well over the past few weeks, I'm thinking of doing another reset on December 31st, just so I can use the first day of the year as my Soberversary date and start the count over. Why? Because I still feel like I'm in a "trial phase" as this year winds down. Of course, this doesn't mean that I'm just gonna go binging right through New Year's Eve, in fact, I will actually plan to reset at midnight (12am) on December 31st, because my Sober Time app doesn't count a day until you're into the next one; therefore, it would call January 1st "Day One". I still don't intend to have any alcohol between now and then, not when I have such a good streak going. My budget is extremely tight right now and I definitely don't want to waste any money on alcohol! I will keep my daily Sober Time app diary entries but will just start fresh.
@xbowhunter: I like the idea of cutting out "toxic foods", but I don't see bread and cheese as toxic, even though I definitely have cut back. The only other dairy I have is yogurt - no way I would give that up! Sugar, yes - I've cut way back on that, but I can do better. I think I'm going to phase out my use of most artificial sweeteners as well as processed foods like frozen dinners, lunchmeat, sausage, hot dogs, etc. I don't want to give up too much all at once, but I plan to try to stick to whole foods as much as possible. I don't drink soda anymore but I do like to have sparkling mineral water and flavored seltzers on occasion.
Have a great weekend everyone!
💗Carole3 -
Hi everyone, I've decided to move my reset date back a week to Christmas Eve, which I will count as Day 0 to match the "Sober Time" app I use. Being sober, year after year is a Christmas gift I will give myself. I don't think I should wait until New Year's Eve as my official restart date for fear I might slip up between now and then.
I will start counting again beginning Tuesday, December 24th, which will be designated as "Day 0".
My weight has been going up, mainly due to parties and co-workers bringing in treats; so I need to get a handle on that starting NOW. I have a new challenge that starts on Wednesday, January 1st. I'm hoping to get down to 150 or less and my challenge goal is to weigh 140 or less by the last day of Winter, March 19, 2025.
Have a great weekend everyone!
💞Carole2
