Interracial Relationships
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Krizzle4Rizzle
Posts: 2,704 Member
My friend Jess is black, and her husband Jon is white. They have been together since we were all 16, so about 13 years. We were all at the store one day and this older lady gave Jess the nastiest look. I looked at Jess and said "Geez. What did you do to her?" Jess said it's probably because I am black and Jon is white and they were holding hands. I was floored! I thought she was reading it wrong. Jess told me her and Jon get a lot of looks and head shakes from people. I couldn't believe it. I have been out with them several times and never seen anything like that. She told me I was oblivious because I was so used to them being together I didn't think about the racial differences. This could be true, I guess. I don't think of her being black and him being white. They just are. I still find it hard to believe that in this day and age there is still a stigma about interracial relationships. Has anyone else experienced and issues for being in one? Are you against interracial relationships? If so, then why?
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No I dont care who other people date.0
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Hmmm, I wonder how I feel about this subject!
I'm in an interracial relationship in Memphis, TN. It's still pretty taboo here, but we don't let it bother us. We get looks when in certain parts of town, but are pretty used to it at this point.
After I graduate from college, we are moving to NYC where I doubt our hand-holding will get any double-takes on the street.
note: We're not moving BECAUSE of this.0 -
It makes me feel sick that there are people out there who still react so badly to any race other than their own.
I have to admit, I have lived in a happy little bubble my whole life - my family, community and people I socialised with were accepting of all races - so when I met my boyfriend (who is Chinese) and he used to moan about racism - I thought he was over-reacting.
Then we saved up for a place of our own and moved to a bit of a rougher area...we were walking along the river hand in hand and this group of agressive looking lads (two white, one black) shouted "Get back on the boat and stick to your own race" to Andy. I've never been so shocked in my whole life and it upset me SO much, but he just said to ignore them and he gets it a lot. Now of course, I notice it so much more. I answered the door to some kids 'trick or treating' last month, Andy came through behind me and they shouted "You're Yellow!" I mean...really!!?
Anyway, I know all this isn't exactly in response to your question (just got a little carried away as it makes me so mad!) - but quite clearly I am very pro-inter racial relationships!! :laugh:0 -
I think people are people and when you find the right one skin color doesn't matter. I have noticed it in smaller communities, especially in the south (where I was born and raised and still live in). Large cities and mostly northern it doesn't seem to be an issue. As long as people are still raising their children this way the prejudicial judgement will never go away. That is a shame, but that is the way it is. There is a young couple iin town, the woman is black and was my intern where I work. Her husband is white. They moved to kentucky and it was so difficult there for them they moved back. They were so hurt. I wish people would just get over it, but that is in my fantasy life
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I haven't experienced any issues myself, since I've never seriously dated outside my race (my junior prom date was black, though). I don't personally have anything against it, the opportunity just hasn't really presented itself.
However, I know WAY too many people who have an issue with it. I don't understand it. I've actually asked men who don't like it, "If your daughter had a choice between a loser who treated her badly who was white and a successful, rich, wonderful black man who treated her like a princess, you'd still want her with the white guy?"
And they've said yes.
To me, people are people. I can't say I don't SEE color because I'm not blind, but it's like seeing one person with blond hair and one with brown hair. It's just a physical trait.0 -
After I graduate from college, we are moving to NYC where I doubt our hand-holding will get any double-takes on the street.
Unfortunately, you probably will. Maybe fewer of them, but you'll get them.0 -
my first bf was black we dated for 3 years. While my parents are not really rascist ( they are friends with black people and never make them feel any different from anybody else) and and obviously didn't raise me that way (since I was dating a black guy haha) But I was very surprised when I did start dating him how they did not approve. They said it wasn't that they were rascist they just didn't believe in interracial relationships because of how society would look at us and treat us and that we would have a harder time in life. It was like they were embarrassed. I was so pissed and ashamed of my parents, I shamed them for so long, I quite literally talked down to them as rascists and basically told them that we just had to wait long enough for their mentality to die off. It's happening and it will happen it's just going to take a long time.0
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Like the OP's story, it's usually older folks that tend to have a problem with it. It's much more common nowadays and I don't even notice. I've never had a problem with it myself.
This may very well get me flamed, but I'd like to be completely honest here: I think it would be rather diffcult to date outside my race unless I felt a VERY strong connection with that person. I'm just not sure I could handle the stigma that comes with it. Some members of my family might take issue with it, as would the other person's. I've known people in interracial relationships that went through a terrible time because of ignorant family members and "friends". That's not to say that I let other people's opinions dictate who I love, but it is something I would consider before entering into a long-term relationship with anyone. If I'm going to go through all that crap, my Mr. Right damn well better be amazing!
But then again, like another poster said, the opportunity has never presented itself. If I felt like that person was "the one" then it wouldn't be an issue and I'd probably say "to hell with what everyone else thinks." Just my take on things, your comments are welcome but please be civil. :flowerforyou:0 -
Mari, I don't think you said anything flameable. Saying you don't think you could handle the pressures and issues is far different than saying you don't approve of others dating outside their race.
As with everything, it's the business of those directly involved and no one else's. NO ONE is being hurt by it, except the couple through the backwards attitudes of others. I can understand not wanting to deal with that.0 -
My Mom was (died in 2007, hence the past tense) white and my Dad is Mexican. And before anyone say it-- no, he is NOT white. It definitely isn't the same thing, but that is another topic. Anyway, they got married back in 1973 I think. Interracial marriages had not been legal for very long at the time. I was born in 1977, and a couple of years after I was born our family had to flee Georgia for a few months because some people were going to violently run us out of where we lived, simply because of my parents were not the same race.
My older sister (whose father is white) married a guy who is half Vietnamese and half white. They had no issues really. For six years I dated my ex boyfriend, who is black, and we had a lot of issues. My current person (we dated for 6 years and he is currently my ex-boyfriend/best friend/roommate) is half white and half Lumbee. (his Dad is a full blooded Lumbee Indian, the predominant Native American tribe around here) We're both pretty pale so people hardly ever guess we are both biracial. His family ran into issues of their own, being a biracial family.0 -
I have a completely different view on this issue...I think HUMANS should stick with their own kind...that is all.0
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Here is another pespective...
I've been surrounded by inter-racial relationships my whole life - from growing up in Germany during my teenage years then going back to London (UK)... and finding out I had to bi-racial brothers from my father.
As a young black woman growing up, seeing some black man noticeably going after white women just because they were white.... 'the forbidden fruit' kind of disgusted me, which led me to become quite pro-black and not date any black guy that had previously dated a white woman.
As I've grown older, that attitude has changed to a more 'live & let live'... this is probably because inter-racial relationships have become more the norm.... And it's now more obvious that people are getting together because of natural attraction, rather than how it was back in the day.
Although I lived in Germany till I was 19, I just could not bring myself to date white guys... and still can't....
I wish I could.... I've been approached by some really good looking ones.... :bigsmile:0 -
I think people are people and it's what's inside that matters. It baffles me that anyone would think otherwise.
Also, most people have more than one nationality. I'm Irish, Finnish, and Bohunk. So is that really much different than being a mixed race?0 -
I think people are people and it's what's inside that matters. It baffles me that anyone would think otherwise.
Also, most people have more than one nationality. I'm Irish, Finnish, and Bohunk. So is that really much different than being a mixed race?
Well, race is more noticeable... isn't it?0 -
After I graduate from college, we are moving to NYC where I doubt our hand-holding will get any double-takes on the street.
Unfortunately, you probably will. Maybe fewer of them, but you'll get them.
Yes, biggots and ignorant people are everywhere, but they at least seem to be ashamed of themselves up North. Down here it's the norm.0 -
I think people are people and it's what's inside that matters. It baffles me that anyone would think otherwise.
Also, most people have more than one nationality. I'm Irish, Finnish, and Bohunk. So is that really much different than being a mixed race?
In some ways, yes. In others, no. I don't think it's that simple -- especially to the people who do have a problem with it.0 -
After I graduate from college, we are moving to NYC where I doubt our hand-holding will get any double-takes on the street.
Unfortunately, you probably will. Maybe fewer of them, but you'll get them.
Yes, biggots and ignorant people are everywhere, but they at least seem to be ashamed of themselves up North. Down here it's the norm.
No, they're not. I grew up in New York. We had a very active and proud KKK culture there. Not everyone, of course. But it was there and it was no hidden by those involved. People have this idea that the South is racist and the North is so accepting. I've lived many years in both regions and the North isn't as different from the South as people would like to believe.0 -
After I graduate from college, we are moving to NYC where I doubt our hand-holding will get any double-takes on the street.
Unfortunately, you probably will. Maybe fewer of them, but you'll get them.
Yes, biggots and ignorant people are everywhere, but they at least seem to be ashamed of themselves up North. Down here it's the norm.
No, they're not. I grew up in New York. We had a very active and proud KKK culture there. Not everyone, of course. But it was there and it was no hidden by those involved. People have this idea that the South is racist and the North is so accepting. I've lived many years in both regions and the North isn't as different from the South as people would like to believe.
We'll have to agree to disagree on this one! Or maybe we could start a new topic about it. :laugh:
I've lived in Memphis for almost 10 years now and it's terrible here. I can't speak for the entire South, but I can speak for this one city. My brother, who is gay, lives in NYC and has felt more accepted there than he ever did down here or in any other places that we lived growing up. Also, my boyfriend and I visit him and we love how accepted (or at least ignored) our relationship is up there. So I can't speak for the entire south or north, but I can speak for Memphis vs. NYC. And NYC is much more tolerant.0 -
We are all a melting pot. I find it hard to believe that there are any "pure" races anymore. If you look at me you would see that I am white, but in my family history there are many different races. Black and Korean just to name 2.0
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I still find it hard to believe that in this day and age there is still a stigma about interracial relationships.
I can't believe it's still a topic considered worthy of discussion, let alone debate. People are people. Period.0
