OK, so the parent probably should have kept the child at the table, or at least come to get the child if she saw you were annoyed by her, but small kids are naturally curious and want to explore their environment and the people in it. It's part of how they learn. The child wasn't being physically or verbally aggressive, and wasn't doing anything that could have caused harm to you or it - is a few minutes of having your 'personal space' in a public area compromised by a small child really worth so much angst?

Probably for the same reasons that they wouldn't really appreciate my dog hanging out in their personal space.

Let kids explore other areas, like the park or the museum. A restaurant isn't a place for "little explorers" to be running around and invading other peoples' personal space.

That's an odd analogy - a child can be reasoned with, a dog much less so. Also, on a hygiene level, if that's your concern, a dog carries different germs to a human - you're probably immune to any bugs a child may be carrying, but you're unlikely to be immune to those transmissible bugs on a dog.

A restaurant, while I agree it's not an ideal play place, is just as curious an environment to the average two or three year old as a museum or park. I just don't understand getting so worked up about an easily-handled, non-dangerous situation. And "personal space" is such a subjective issue anyway - what is culturally normal in one society is completely absurd in another. Most small kids have no concept of the idea in any case - they've yet to discover socially-imposed norms like this, and being close to people is their 'normal' - small children are ideally often lifted and carried, hugged and held.

That's an odd analogy - a child can be reasoned with, a dog much less so. Also, on a hygiene level, if that's your concern, a dog carries different germs to a human - you're probably immune to any bugs a child may be carrying, but you're unlikely to be immune to those transmissible bugs on a dog.

A restaurant, while I agree it's not an ideal play place, is just as curious an environment to the average two or three year old as a museum or park. I just don't understand getting so worked up about an easily-handled, non-dangerous situation. And "personal space" is such a subjective issue anyway - what is culturally normal in one society is completely absurd in another. Most small kids have no concept of the idea in any case - they've yet to discover socially-imposed norms like this, and being close to people is their 'normal' - small children are ideally often lifted and carried, hugged and held.

I'm not even worked up about it, it's just a small, easily avoided annoyance. Honestly, I don't even know why it's an issue - when I was a kid, if we went out to dinner, we were not allowed up from the table. Kids are a safety hazard in an area where people are walking around with trays of hot food - they have no business walking around from table to table.

while i agree with you that its not appropriate, and i agree with the other side that its also not a huge deal. I just want to say that teaching acceptable behaviours is a process, which then become taught. The parent in this instance was obviously not that bothered about teaching, which does tend to give others a bad name, but I think a lot of it is down to how the parents deal with it. If I was in a restaurant and a child came up to my table and bothered me, and then the mother came and got the child back and apologised, and encouraged the child to sit down, then i would be fine with it. Children are children and if theyre never taken to eat out in public then they will never learn, even if theyre not great at sitting still to start with (some children are better at this than others naturally)
If the parent just let their child go and piss everyone off without even doing anything about it, then its a bit more annoying.

Whats acceptable varies from person to person too. Ive got an aunt that would love nothing more than a little child coming up to talk to her in public, and then other people just dont really relate to kids at all

Like I said, it's common sense. But it's getting more and more apparent to me that people in this society either love children or they don't, often the childrens behavior is inconsiquential to their feelings.

How true - I see perfectly well-behaved children being scowled at and reprimanded simply for existing by adults who clearly don't like children every day. The most priceless example was on a bus at the weekend - an elderly lady reprimanded a toddler - I'd have guessed around a year old - for making a noise. The child was not being 'noisy' or disruptive - it simply dared to make a sound. I did feel like asking the lady, who then proceeded to have a very loud and lengthy conversation with her seatmate about 'children today, useless mothers, no discipline' etc., whether she expected the mother, who looked extremely embarrassed, to put a gag on her child before taking it out in public, but alas, having been taught to respect my elders, I stayed quiet.

Yes, one does see a lot of kids behaving badly. Yes, there are a lot of parents who seem to exercise no control over their childrens' behaviour (although given the mother mentioned in the OP had four kids to handle, perhaps she was dealing with something more urgent than a wandering five year old at the time), but what seems often to be forgotten is that children are as deserving of our respectful interaction as an adult is. We may have to simplify for them, or explain things that to an adult are implicit. We may have to make allowances for their as-yet-imperfect self-control (a fair few adults could do with some help on that one too - many of us would say that's why we're here!). Kids may still have things to learn, but if we treat them as second-class humans and frown at their temerity in moving or making a noise, and fail to explain why this offends or upsets us, can we realistically expect them to learn anything from us except to regard others as second-class humans too? There is a great deal of truth in the saying "It takes a village to raise a child". Anyone who interacts with a child is providing an example of some sort. Even if you don't like children, your example can be a positive one.

OK then! Three adults should between them have realised that you weren't happy with the situation, whatever their personal view of a wandering five-year-old is - that's basic courtesy and being aware of your fellow humans. I just see so many people giving kids a hard time when they're not doing anything wrong, and it really bugs me. Adults do that, and then worry about 'disrespectful' kids, or wonder why so many kids have self-esteem issues. It seems self-evident to me that if adults model those behaviours to kids, and constantly put them down or tell them off, even when they're not doing anything wrong, that's the result you're going to get! Yes, there are out-of-control kids, but most of them are pretty good, most of the time.

I wonder if the mother would have been smiling at you if you had picked the kid up, sat her down at your table, and started treating her like she was your kid. OR if she would have been smiling if you weren't the person you are and instead were a child molester or kidnapper and you walked off with the kid while she was engrossed in her conversation. There was a comment made about this being a non-dangerous situation (sorry, I don't remember who). While the OP may not be a dangerous person, I have to disagree with that that statement. We don't know every person in the world and it's situations like this that create dangerous opportunities. I will be the first to admit, my husband and I both find kids amusing. We can go to a restaurant and my husband will start playing a version of "peek-a-boo" with younger kids where he will use me as a shield from the kid and then suddenly lean to one side so the kid can see him. Or the kid will use the back of the booth to hide behind and then pop up and find my husband making a face at them. BUT the kid is still with their parents in their own seat. While yes kids are curious and want to explore and learn (and I am all for encouraging that) there is also a time and place for everything.

Kimmy, true there was a steak knife on the table on her side about 15 inches from where her hands were. Didn't even think about that.

Apparently her parents didn't think about it, either! lol

Just do what I do. Order an iced tea and squirt the little beast in the eye with the lemon.

Alternatively I just say in a loud voice "hey, is this yours? yes, then make it go away."

I didn't have any fun creating your child there is no reason I should have to deal with it.

I...I think I love you.

I'd accidently spill something hot. People need to watch their kids.