Annulment
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macpatti
Posts: 4,280 Member
Has anyone gone through an annulment process (nullity of marriage, if you prefer)? My husband and I both had our first marriages nullified and the process can be quite grueling. If anyone has questions about annulments, I'll do what I can to help.
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My husband did (I watched him go through it) and boy oh boy, was it a wild ride between lost paperwork at the diocesean level, wrong department, transferring it to a different diocese, receiving the decree, marrying in the Church, the ex wife writing the bishop, the diocese making a little mistake and thus nullifying our sacrimental marriage, going through it again, and having our sacrimental marriage reinstated. I think ours is the poster example of all that can go snafu on an annulment process. But yes, I will be glad to join you in helping answer questions from the non-previously married spouse's perspective.0
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My husband is a theologian and philosopher and I've suggested he write an article on annulment. I'd like to see something that shows you can have a holy family/marriage after divorce. Many people also believe an annulment is a "get out of jail free card", so to speak, so I like to explain it when I can.0
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I've thought about it but my worry is the effect this would have on any children. How are they acknowledged then?0
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I've thought about it but my worry is the effect this would have on any children. How are they acknowledged then?
GREAT question!!!! The church does not say the marriage never existed. It only says that it was not a sacramental marriage because of some default from the beginning. The children are still legitimate in the eyes of the church.0 -
Illigetimacy is a term of the courts, not the Church.I've thought about it but my worry is the effect this would have on any children. How are they acknowledged then?0 -
Illigetimacy is a term of the courts, not the Church.I've thought about it but my worry is the effect this would have on any children. How are they acknowledged then?
WRONG. The children are LEGITIMATE in ALL cases; court AND church.0 -
Illigetimacy is a term of the courts, not the Church.I've thought about it but my worry is the effect this would have on any children. How are they acknowledged then?
WRONG. The children are LEGITIMATE in ALL cases; court AND church.
In cases of legal divorce and church annulment, children are considered legitimate. An illegitimate child is a child born to unmarried children, but not considered illegitimate because of a divorce.0 -
I've thought about it but my worry is the effect this would have on any children. How are they acknowledged then?
GREAT question!!!! The church does not say the marriage never existed. It only says that it was not a sacramental marriage because of some default from the beginning. The children are still legitimate in the eyes of the church.
Thank you so much!! :flowerforyou: That has always been one of the biggest worries for me if I were ever to go that route (and yes, I've found things out about my husband that would qualify us for an annulment, so it's not for nothing that I ask). Thanks for clearing that up.0 -
I've thought about it but my worry is the effect this would have on any children. How are they acknowledged then?
GREAT question!!!! The church does not say the marriage never existed. It only says that it was not a sacramental marriage because of some default from the beginning. The children are still legitimate in the eyes of the church.
Thank you so much!! :flowerforyou: That has always been one of the biggest worries for me if I were ever to go that route (and yes, I've found things out about my husband that would qualify us for an annulment, so it's not for nothing that I ask). Thanks for clearing that up.
Best of luck to you. Once you receive a nullity of marriage from the church, you can begin participating in the Eucharist again. That was huge for me!0 -
Actually as long as you are not in an unchaste relationship outside of marriage you can fully participate in the sacraments (confession being the first). Divorce alone is not cause to stay away. Also couponfun, were you married in the Church with a dispensation since your husband was not Catholic, that would determine the validity (whether or not it was a simple lack of form).I've thought about it but my worry is the effect this would have on any children. How are they acknowledged then?
GREAT question!!!! The church does not say the marriage never existed. It only says that it was not a sacramental marriage because of some default from the beginning. The children are still legitimate in the eyes of the church.
Thank you so much!! :flowerforyou: That has always been one of the biggest worries for me if I were ever to go that route (and yes, I've found things out about my husband that would qualify us for an annulment, so it's not for nothing that I ask). Thanks for clearing that up.
Best of luck to you. Once you receive a nullity of marriage from the church, you can begin participating in the Eucharist again. That was huge for me!0 -
Actually as long as you are not in an unchaste relationship outside of marriage you can fully participate in the sacraments (confession being the first). Divorce alone is not cause to stay away. Also couponfun, were you married in the Church with a dispensation since your husband was not Catholic, that would determine the validity (whether or not it was a simple lack of form).I've thought about it but my worry is the effect this would have on any children. How are they acknowledged then?
GREAT question!!!! The church does not say the marriage never existed. It only says that it was not a sacramental marriage because of some default from the beginning. The children are still legitimate in the eyes of the church.
Thank you so much!! :flowerforyou: That has always been one of the biggest worries for me if I were ever to go that route (and yes, I've found things out about my husband that would qualify us for an annulment, so it's not for nothing that I ask). Thanks for clearing that up.
Best of luck to you. Once you receive a nullity of marriage from the church, you can begin participating in the Eucharist again. That was huge for me!
Yes! Thank you for adding that. Sorry for assuming you were in the same situation I was!0 -
Yes we received a dispensation to marry, however, since then I've come to realize that he lied on the testing to get the dispensation. I won't go into details but one of the responses has been proven to be false so I'm guessing that on those grounds, plus the lack of intimacy without physical problems, plus falling in love with another woman among other things would like enable me to get an annulment.
Again, I still have some modicum of hope but I had always been curious about this as an option.0 -
Thanks for the post. I would love to follow this as my sister is in the beginning stages of a divorce and of course the hope of annulment is there. She has been to two priests, her spiritual director and parish priest, both have acquiesced as much as possible that she has grounds. It is a difficult position for priests to counsel as they must assume the marriage is valid and sacramental until the Church declares it null.
In my sisters case, she was 17 when she left home to go live with her boyfriend and his family. They are not Catholic and after she turned 18 (my parents would not consent to the marriage), she was told by the boyfriends family that she would be married in February. Being young, she went along with it. She didn't plan her wedding, pick her dress, write her invitations, or plan her reception, the boyfriend/husbands family did all of it. They picked out her first apartment and even her job. They told her not to finish school as she wouldn't need it. (She is going back now. She received her GED and is attending University on full scholarship because of her high marks on the test) Anyway, being in a premarital sexual relationship and being an angry teenager and making very few decisions for herself, being originally married in the Presbyterian Church, I can see why the priests are not objecting to her pursuit of an annulment.
After the birth of their first child she wanted her son Baptized so she was reunited with the Church, they had their marriage blessed. Shortly after that her husband converted to Catholicism. Five children later and for 20 years she has been trying to make it work. Her motto for 20 years has been, "you made your bed, now sleep in it!" In addition her husband has some mental issues that has caused her to lie and hide information from the family...trying to maintain an image of everything being great.
I would love to hear any of your thoughts on her situation!
In His Mercy,
Donna0 -
In my sisters case, she was 17 when she left home to go live with her boyfriend and his family. They are not Catholic and after she turned 18 (my parents would not consent to the marriage), she was told by the boyfriends family that she would be married in February. Being young, she went along with it. She didn't plan her wedding, pick her dress, write her invitations, or plan her reception, the boyfriend/husbands family did all of it. They picked out her first apartment and even her job. They told her not to finish school as she wouldn't need it. (She is going back now. She received her GED and is attending University on full scholarship because of her high marks on the test) Anyway, being in a premarital sexual relationship and being an angry teenager and making very few decisions for herself, being originally married in the Presbyterian Church, I can see why the priests are not objecting to her pursuit of an annulment.
After the birth of their first child she wanted her son Baptized so she was reunited with the Church, they had their marriage blessed. Shortly after that her husband converted to Catholicism. Five children later and for 20 years she has been trying to make it work. Her motto for 20 years has been, "you made your bed, now sleep in it!" In addition her husband has some mental issues that has caused her to lie and hide information from the family...trying to maintain an image of everything being great.
I totally understand her situation. Mine was very similar. The Tribunal will focus on whether or not this was a sacramental marriage based on information known to both parties at the time of marriage. In some cases they will focus on the original marriage, and other times they will consider the time the marriage was blessed. For example, she was young and may have been coerced into marriage the first time, but what was her state of mind when she then had it blessed in the church? Also, were there any defects that she wasn't aware of at the time they were married?
It's a long process with lots of paperwork. I empathize with her, and I hope the best for her.
Patti0 -
Thank you Patti! Your reply is actually VERY helpful!
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