The Binge
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PattyTheUndefeated
Posts: 302 Member
A feeling that leads to a thought that leads to a nagging itch screaming to be scratched.
Uncomfortable, the whispers beckoning you on. Just a taste, a lick, a nibble. Just a bite, a morsel, a snack.
It's been a long day. The mind is racing, the feelings overwhelming, the anxiety tightening it's invisible grip on your throat.
The inventory. There's a tin of icing in the cupboard. A bag of chocolate chips for holiday baking. That banana loaf you baked for your coworkers.
Just a taste to quiet the mind, just a bite to silence an aching heart.
A pile of empty containers, wrappers, boxes followed by empty eyes, hearts and minds. The nagging itch is now a bloody wound, no remedy can heal. No sweetness can tame the bitter inner turmoil.
The 'never agains', the 'I swear I'll change'.
The half eaten bags of chips in the trash, the unopened packages of food in the thrown away, time and time again, the sins temporarily erased, money wasted, promises broken, shame never-ending. Cleansing the cupboards of a weakness that can't be understood.
Shame, belly-aches, racing hearts and sweaty faces. Anger, promises, never again, promises.
Never again. Tommorrow will be different. Tommorrow you'll do better. Never again.
Uncomfortable, the whispers beckoning you on. Just a taste, a lick, a nibble. Just a bite, a morsel, a snack.
It's been a long day. The mind is racing, the feelings overwhelming, the anxiety tightening it's invisible grip on your throat.
The inventory. There's a tin of icing in the cupboard. A bag of chocolate chips for holiday baking. That banana loaf you baked for your coworkers.
Just a taste to quiet the mind, just a bite to silence an aching heart.
A pile of empty containers, wrappers, boxes followed by empty eyes, hearts and minds. The nagging itch is now a bloody wound, no remedy can heal. No sweetness can tame the bitter inner turmoil.
The 'never agains', the 'I swear I'll change'.
The half eaten bags of chips in the trash, the unopened packages of food in the thrown away, time and time again, the sins temporarily erased, money wasted, promises broken, shame never-ending. Cleansing the cupboards of a weakness that can't be understood.
Shame, belly-aches, racing hearts and sweaty faces. Anger, promises, never again, promises.
Never again. Tommorrow will be different. Tommorrow you'll do better. Never again.
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Replies
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Wow...
The monster came back yesterday. I thought I was doing so well too... but on the ride home I became overwhelmed by stress and hunger...I stuffed myself with pork rinds. I am not sure what triggered it. I am still trying to figure it out.
The only thing saving me today is the fact that I dropped 1 pound today. Moving forward...0 -
WOW! That just hit the nail on the head. It helps to know that I'm not the only one who feels this way...ALOT! I am saving this to my computer and will turn to this every time I feel a binge surfacing. Thank you so much!!!0
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so scary, so true...0
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I thought I was the only one. I wonder how common this is? How do you get "normal" or do you ever.
I hate to think of all the unopened throw aways I have done in my life.0 -
So this weekend wasn't so much about a binge, more about incessant eating. I just kept on eating stuff. Every time I walked by the jelly beans I grabbed 3. Then I hit the chocolate. And the worst part? The chocolate wasn't even really mine. I ate more than I should have, and the scale shows it: PMS+stress=insatiable hunger, bloating and general malaise. It effing sucks, and I wish I hadn't even lived over the past few days.....I am paying the price now.0
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Dang, those are the worst kit
I know it's going to be a really bad binge if it starts before noon. Luckiy I haven't had one of those in almost a year (I think). Mostly right now it seems to be limited to evening or middle of the night, and just one eat till I want to puke session...
The hardest thing for me to do tho is NOT to restrict or over exercise the next day, Its like I feel I have to punish myself, and that's not going to help because I'll just end up binging again if I over restrict.. endless cycle spiraling down down down (or up up up as the case may be)0 -
Yes . . . :frown:0
