Is Your Husband The "Boss"?
kapeluza
Posts: 3,434 Member
Who all stands by the idea of the "husband" being the head of the household?
Since Christianity is the most popular religion in America, I was wondering who all stood by the idea of the husband being the head of the house. Just tell me, are you Christian and is your husband the boss? Also, if you are not Christian but believe in another religion, is your husband the head of the household? If your husband is the head, are you happy with the situation? How are decisions made?
Personally, in my marriage, we are equal partners and we make decisions together ranging from the petty decisions up to major ones. There is no "boss" in our house.
Since Christianity is the most popular religion in America, I was wondering who all stood by the idea of the husband being the head of the house. Just tell me, are you Christian and is your husband the boss? Also, if you are not Christian but believe in another religion, is your husband the head of the household? If your husband is the head, are you happy with the situation? How are decisions made?
Personally, in my marriage, we are equal partners and we make decisions together ranging from the petty decisions up to major ones. There is no "boss" in our house.
0
Replies
-
My husband is the head of our family. I wouldn't necessarily say he's the "boss", though. We both make independent decisions on things, but anything really big will be discussed together.0
-
I don't believe in God and I don't believe in a monarchy in our household. We make important decisions together. It's a partnership.0
-
I'm agnostic with Christian leanings. My husband and I are equal partners. I didn't vow to "love honor and obey". My father didn't give me to my husband like some sort of prize cattle. We make decisions together. Sometimes his views trump mine, other times mine trump his. It depends who cares about the issue the most.0
-
No, and I don't want to be. If I want a employee I'll start a business. If I want to be the superior, I'll buy a dog. If I just want a person to do what I want to do, I'll get a hooker.0
-
This content has been removed.
-
Short answer? Yes. Whether I like it or not
But everyone in the household has responsibility. Even my 8 year old.
ETA: Yes, we are Christian.0 -
Its pretty equal in my house0
-
We make all decisions together. He actually refers to me as, "The Boss" because I know our schedule. You know, "That sounds good, let me check with The Boss."0
-
We are christian and we have a mutual/equal partnership in our marriage. We have been married 40 years, so I guess it works. When someone asks my husband says, "I am the boss of my household and I have my wife's permission to say so". makes us laugh every time.0
-
My husband is not the boss. We have no children and because of it, it's easy to live fairly equally, but I still try to make him feel like 'the man' from time to time, lol.0
-
its mostly equal, but if my other half felt very strongly about something id always give him the final say.0
-
Yes, And Yes I'm what you refer to as "the boss" but that's not technically how it is.
We make mutual decisions together everything is done together. My wife, as the bible refers, is my "help mate". Even though I am the head, When at all possible she is a major part of the decision making process many times her wisdom/ideas/thought process is what makes the final decision. But in the end Its Me who has to pull the trigger on what ever decision is made. Being the "Head of the house" in a biblical sense is not about being in power or making all the decisions as final. Its more about me being responsible for my family and to God. When I make a final decision I'm making it and the consequences and the results fall on me not my wife and kids. I am the one the takes the heat for a bad decision. Its my responsibility to protect my family and that's why I am the sole responsible party. Even though my wife is my equal Its not her that anything will fall on should a decision be a bad one; Its me. And as Christ directs I am to protect her and the children from anything. Thats why the buck stops here!
In addition, I dont require her to be submissive to me. Its not like I own her its more a of a business structure. Not everyone can be the president of the company. So she voluntarily puts her self underneath my protection and leadership.
And most importantly...There is a section to this that you are leaving out. Biblically the wife should submit but no one ever brings up what the husbands responsibility is to his wife.... "He is to love her like Christ loved the church" And ultimately what that means is I am to love my wife to the point of death where I would give my own life to protect her and save her. Its a two way street and those two commands are together in the same thought.0 -
Even though I am the head, When at all possible she is a major part of the decision making process many times her wisdom/ideas/thought process is what makes the final decision. But in the end Its Me who has to pull the trigger on what ever decision is made. Being the "Head of the house" in a biblical sense is not about being in power or making all the decisions as final. Its more about me being responsible for my family and to God. When I make a final decision I'm making it and the consequences and the results fall on me not my wife and kids. I am the one the takes the heat for a bad decision. Its my responsibility to protect my family and that's why I am the sole responsible party. Even though my wife is my equal Its not her that anything will fall on should a decision be a bad one; Its me. And as Christ directs I am to protect her and the children from anything.
Yes! This is the way my husband and I understand it too. I am naturally a very planning-oriented person, so I have quite a bit of input on decisions we make, and that sort of thing. I'm also the one who pays the bills and keeps an eye on the checking account, tries to create the budget (an ongoing process!), etc. etc. But we know that my husband is ultimately the one with the burden of responsibility. If I have some crazy idea, and he agrees with me, then the responsibility is on him. So far, we haven't had an instance where he has to "veto" me or anything, because we really try to work through big decisions together and get on the same page as each other.0 -
Ha if my husband was the 'boss' nothing would get done. Kids wouldn't have clean clothes, they would miss doctor's appointments, bills wouldn't be paid, etc. I handled all the bills/finances, appointments, kids' school stuff, laundry, shopping etc. My husband actually has it quite easy. A bit frustrating at times when he throws a hissy fit about not having time to play his video games.0
-
Yes, And Yes I'm what you refer to as "the boss" but that's not technically how it is.
We make mutual decisions together everything is done together. My wife, as the bible refers, is my "help mate". Even though I am the head, When at all possible she is a major part of the decision making process many times her wisdom/ideas/thought process is what makes the final decision. But in the end Its Me who has to pull the trigger on what ever decision is made. Being the "Head of the house" in a biblical sense is not about being in power or making all the decisions as final. Its more about me being responsible for my family and to God. When I make a final decision I'm making it and the consequences and the results fall on me not my wife and kids. I am the one the takes the heat for a bad decision. Its my responsibility to protect my family and that's why I am the sole responsible party. Even though my wife is my equal Its not her that anything will fall on should a decision be a bad one; Its me. And as Christ directs I am to protect her and the children from anything. Thats why the buck stops here!
In addition, I dont require her to be submissive to me. Its not like I own her its more a of a business structure. Not everyone can be the president of the company. So she voluntarily puts her self underneath my protection and leadership.
And most importantly...There is a section to this that you are leaving out. Biblically the wife should submit but no one ever brings up what the husbands responsibility is to his wife.... "He is to love her like Christ loved the church" And ultimately what that means is I am to love my wife to the point of death where I would give my own life to protect her and save her. Its a two way street and those two commands are together in the same thought.
I'm not married but I am a Christian. If I were ever to get married again, MassiveDelta explains perfectly the relationship I would want my marriage to be.0 -
This is how my husband and I run things.Yes, And Yes I'm what you refer to as "the boss" but that's not technically how it is.
We make mutual decisions together everything is done together. My wife, as the bible refers, is my "help mate". Even though I am the head, When at all possible she is a major part of the decision making process many times her wisdom/ideas/thought process is what makes the final decision. But in the end Its Me who has to pull the trigger on what ever decision is made. Being the "Head of the house" in a biblical sense is not about being in power or making all the decisions as final. Its more about me being responsible for my family and to God. When I make a final decision I'm making it and the consequences and the results fall on me not my wife and kids. I am the one the takes the heat for a bad decision. Its my responsibility to protect my family and that's why I am the sole responsible party. Even though my wife is my equal Its not her that anything will fall on should a decision be a bad one; Its me. And as Christ directs I am to protect her and the children from anything. Thats why the buck stops here!
In addition, I dont require her to be submissive to me. Its not like I own her its more a of a business structure. Not everyone can be the president of the company. So she voluntarily puts her self underneath my protection and leadership.
And most importantly...There is a section to this that you are leaving out. Biblically the wife should submit but no one ever brings up what the husbands responsibility is to his wife.... "He is to love her like Christ loved the church" And ultimately what that means is I am to love my wife to the point of death where I would give my own life to protect her and save her. Its a two way street and those two commands are together in the same thought.
OP, More importantly, what you are referring to is not monitarily being the boss, but spiritually being the head of the family. As spouses we are responsible for helping each other to heaven as well as any children. BUt the father/husband is the leader of this and frankly, based on statistics, children are more likely to attend services, pray, etc. if their FATHER does. http://illinoisreview.typepad.com/illinoisreview/2010/03/how-important-is-it-that-dads-go-to-church.html0 -
Ha if my husband was the 'boss' nothing would get done. Kids wouldn't have clean clothes, they would miss doctor's appointments, bills wouldn't be paid, etc. I handled all the bills/finances, appointments, kids' school stuff, laundry, shopping etc. My husband actually has it quite easy. A bit frustrating at times when he throws a hissy fit about not having time to play his video games.
Ha! I totally get this! That's why I said my husband is the head of our family/home, but not the "boss". There have been some good replies here as to why the man is the head of the family in the Christian sense. That is true of our home. But, just ask our kids: I'm the home work boss, the science fair project boss, the dinner boss, the "take a good shower" boss, etc.....0 -
"I am not the boss of my home. I don't know when it happened. I don't know why. But I've seen the bosses job. And I don't want it." -Bill Cosby0
-
My husband is the boss of the remote, but the advantage is when he is flipping through 957 channels in 27 seconds I can play on MFP without getting "the look".
Major decision we make together. We have had separate checking accounts for most of our 18 year marriage, so small monetary decisions aren't even discussed. For the big things we collaborate.
Some things he "puts his foot down" about and I don't argue unless it's really important to me. In other words, if it isn't something I feel strongly about, I let him think he is getting his way. 0 -
We make all decisions together. He actually refers to me as, "The Boss" because I know our schedule. You know, "That sounds good, let me check with The Boss."
hahah - this is MY house through and through.
and quoted last night from my husband talking to his mother: "yeah, she said 6:00 is when to come over for supper. i just do what i'm told so i dont get in trouble"
0 -
no! i don't have a boss, i have a partner.
we're both atheists and we're not American. we're a pair of people who work together and compromise when needed.0 -
Nope. Why should the husband be the "boss" - I mean, what makes him more capable of making good decisions? because he has a penis?
I have a wife, not a husband.. and we discuss and debate and come up with things together.0 -
Yes, And Yes I'm what you refer to as "the boss" but that's not technically how it is.
We make mutual decisions together everything is done together. My wife, as the bible refers, is my "help mate". Even though I am the head, When at all possible she is a major part of the decision making process many times her wisdom/ideas/thought process is what makes the final decision. But in the end Its Me who has to pull the trigger on what ever decision is made. Being the "Head of the house" in a biblical sense is not about being in power or making all the decisions as final. Its more about me being responsible for my family and to God. When I make a final decision I'm making it and the consequences and the results fall on me not my wife and kids. I am the one the takes the heat for a bad decision. Its my responsibility to protect my family and that's why I am the sole responsible party. Even though my wife is my equal Its not her that anything will fall on should a decision be a bad one; Its me. And as Christ directs I am to protect her and the children from anything. Thats why the buck stops here!
In addition, I dont require her to be submissive to me. Its not like I own her its more a of a business structure. Not everyone can be the president of the company. So she voluntarily puts her self underneath my protection and leadership.
And most importantly...There is a section to this that you are leaving out. Biblically the wife should submit but no one ever brings up what the husbands responsibility is to his wife.... "He is to love her like Christ loved the church" And ultimately what that means is I am to love my wife to the point of death where I would give my own life to protect her and save her. Its a two way street and those two commands are together in the same thought.
Looks like MassiveDelta described it how a lot of us do things. It has never come down to where my husband and I have had differing opinions about how things should go so in out whopping 6months of marriage it has never been and issue. If/when the time comes I will give him my opinion and reasoning and if still goes with his own plans and they are "wrong" i know he is going to be the one who needs to "fix" it and ultimately answer to God for it.
MassiveDelta also mentioned the men's roll, after hearing a sermon my Mark Driscol (sp?) on the man's role, I was more than happy to "submit to my husband" as much as I hate the phrase. Loving someone as Christ loves the church which is with perfect patients, unconditionally and in every single situation is a lot harder than saying "ok, if that's what you want then that's how it will go.".....My husband still has to love me even when I'm saying 'I told you so!" (not that i would do that....maybe)0 -
My DH is my partner. We defer to each other on many decisions and compromise on the biggies. It's important for us to both buy into the decisions made.
Our biggest debates have to do with child rearing and chore distribution.0 -
My boyfriend and I are Atheists, we do not have kids yet (though do plan on it in the future). I see our relationship as a partnership, as does he. The head of household responsibility is a principle found in many cultures and religions, perhaps even stronger than it is in Christianity. I contribute just as much as he does whether it is monetary, house duties, and emotional support. I do know, despite our partnership, my boyfriend does put upon himself the pressure to provide and protect myself and our puppy
. In this sense, I can see how he can be viewed or views himself as the head of the household, though we both hold veto power.
I think it is a natural feeling, instinct.0 -
I have never, and could never tolerate any type of "master-submissive" roles between my spouse and myself. I have been much more strident about this than even both of the women I have been married to, to tell you the truth. This is one of those issues where I have to be careful about separating my personal feelings from another strong value of mine, which is respecting other people's beliefs and their rights to enter into any kind of partnership that they feel is best for them.0
-
I am the boss. My husband thinks he is the boss.
We are both working on compromising on issues - and I think we are doing well on that right now. :drinker:0 -
Yes, And Yes I'm what you refer to as "the boss" but that's not technically how it is.
We make mutual decisions together everything is done together. My wife, as the bible refers, is my "help mate". Even though I am the head, When at all possible she is a major part of the decision making process many times her wisdom/ideas/thought process is what makes the final decision. But in the end Its Me who has to pull the trigger on what ever decision is made. Being the "Head of the house" in a biblical sense is not about being in power or making all the decisions as final. Its more about me being responsible for my family and to God. When I make a final decision I'm making it and the consequences and the results fall on me not my wife and kids. I am the one the takes the heat for a bad decision. Its my responsibility to protect my family and that's why I am the sole responsible party. Even though my wife is my equal Its not her that anything will fall on should a decision be a bad one; Its me. And as Christ directs I am to protect her and the children from anything. Thats why the buck stops here!
In addition, I dont require her to be submissive to me. Its not like I own her its more a of a business structure. Not everyone can be the president of the company. So she voluntarily puts her self underneath my protection and leadership.
And most importantly...There is a section to this that you are leaving out. Biblically the wife should submit but no one ever brings up what the husbands responsibility is to his wife.... "He is to love her like Christ loved the church" And ultimately what that means is I am to love my wife to the point of death where I would give my own life to protect her and save her. Its a two way street and those two commands are together in the same thought.
Looks like MassiveDelta described it how a lot of us do things. It has never come down to where my husband and I have had differing opinions about how things should go so in out whopping 6months of marriage it has never been and issue. If/when the time comes I will give him my opinion and reasoning and if still goes with his own plans and they are "wrong" i know he is going to be the one who needs to "fix" it and ultimately answer to God for it.
MassiveDelta also mentioned the men's roll, after hearing a sermon my Mark Driscol (sp?) on the man's role, I was more than happy to "submit to my husband" as much as I hate the phrase. Loving someone as Christ loves the church which is with perfect patients, unconditionally and in every single situation is a lot harder than saying "ok, if that's what you want then that's how it will go.".....My husband still has to love me even when I'm saying 'I told you so!" (not that i would do that....maybe)
I guess the one thing I would add is this...If I'm holding up my part "Loving my wife as Christ loved the church" Then Every decision that is made must ultimately be made with her welfare and benefit in mind. If I Love her then I never make a decision that would have a negative impact nor do I make decisions without consulting her and if I'm put in a position where I do have to make a decision without consulting her I make sure that I think through things carefully. If I make a selfish decision or a decision that may even seem selfish It would show her that I'm not acting in love. Once though I have proven to her that she can trust my decision making She also understands that the choices I make are in her best interest...even if its something she may not agree with on the surface. In contrast I have many times taken her decision after listening to her...Its always a discussion and a mutual decision.0 -
My partner and I are both atheist, no children.
We have an equal relationship, if anything I am "the boss" as I tend to make most of the important decisions, but I'll always run them past him first to get his thoughts, and if he had problems with it we'd discuss it.
I don't really like the idea of having one person make ALL the decisions and the other not having much say in the matter
0 -
Heck yes I am! Now go make me a sandwich!
Ok but really...a marriage or relationship is not 50/50 it's more like 90/10 sometimes you're the 90 sometimes you're the 10 just don't keep score (thank you NPR). Now where is that sandwich at?0
This discussion has been closed.