My Husband doesn't support me...
FairuzyAmanuzy
Posts: 221 Member
Disclaimer: This is going to be a rant.
My husband is making eating primal really hard on me. I love it, I love everything about it, and feel proud of myself for choosing this path but everytime I turn around he's right there trying to bring me down.
I've lost 40 lbs in 5 months just doing it the MFP way. I started here at 292 and I'm now 252.......But i still have alot to lose until i'm going to be happy. I found primal eating on the message boards here and started to learn more info. MArksdailyapple.com is really what sealed it for me. This diet makes sense to me.....and admittedly I still cheat here and there, because I want to enjoy life and not make it completely about what I eat but I think eating primal is a great guideline to live by.
ANyways, I've been eating like this for only about 2 weeks and tonight we finally had a fight about it. He's made comments here and there about how i'm eating and teasing me with bread and pasta and rice etc. But tonight we are out to dinner at golden corral, I got a 5 oz sirloin steak, some rotisserie chicken and broccoli and yellow squash.....He looks at my plate, and says "I don't think a cave man would eat broccoli." I was just like whatever and brushed it off. THen he starts ranting about how completely stupid the diet is, and how the human body needs starches. etc etc. Again, I just brushed it off. He can think whatever he wants. I've tried to explain it to him before but he just laughs it off. THEN we go to the grocery, I am loading up on produce, and he freaks out! This is too expensive, you need to do this rich *kitten* diet when we have money. I was like, produce and fruit are pretty much the main components of my diet....I need to load up on them. He just wheels the cart away and starts stocking it full of his mac and cheese and other processed stuff. Then in the middle of the grocery store he tries to have an intervention with me, about how I'm getting too obsessed about being skinny, that all I ever do is fad diet, and if I knew anything I would ease myself into it because my body is going to go into withdrawal. He says he is worried about me and that I need to go to therapy to talk about my eating issues and my relentless "death spiral" to be skinny. 1. I am not obsessed with being skinny......I don't want to be skinny, I just don't want to be obese. Coming for almost 300 lbs it is going to take me a long time to lose the weight I want to. This isn't just something that I can do and then forget about. This is a lifestyle change for me. 2. I used to fad diet, true....I don't do that anymore.....since joining MFP I have stuck to this for longer than anything else because it is a lifestyle change for me. But it has also opened me up to so much new information about being healthy and what and what isn't good for you....which lead me to the primal diet. I don't want to fad diet, I just want to incorporate the principles into my life to be healthier. 3. Withdrawals from bread? REALLY? 4. I went to therapy.....and the therapist agreed that I needed to lose weight, and that my self esteem is affected because I don't feel confident and comfortable in my body and the way to remedy that is get to a weight that I feel comfortable, which is anything under 2oo btw.
I just don't know what to do. He makes fun of men and attacks me without educating himself at all about the diet. He wants to build muscle and I personally think that his body would benefit from the primal diet as well. I just want to be able to eat what I want, and buy damn groceries without feeling guilty, like I've done something wrong.
My husband is making eating primal really hard on me. I love it, I love everything about it, and feel proud of myself for choosing this path but everytime I turn around he's right there trying to bring me down.
I've lost 40 lbs in 5 months just doing it the MFP way. I started here at 292 and I'm now 252.......But i still have alot to lose until i'm going to be happy. I found primal eating on the message boards here and started to learn more info. MArksdailyapple.com is really what sealed it for me. This diet makes sense to me.....and admittedly I still cheat here and there, because I want to enjoy life and not make it completely about what I eat but I think eating primal is a great guideline to live by.
ANyways, I've been eating like this for only about 2 weeks and tonight we finally had a fight about it. He's made comments here and there about how i'm eating and teasing me with bread and pasta and rice etc. But tonight we are out to dinner at golden corral, I got a 5 oz sirloin steak, some rotisserie chicken and broccoli and yellow squash.....He looks at my plate, and says "I don't think a cave man would eat broccoli." I was just like whatever and brushed it off. THen he starts ranting about how completely stupid the diet is, and how the human body needs starches. etc etc. Again, I just brushed it off. He can think whatever he wants. I've tried to explain it to him before but he just laughs it off. THEN we go to the grocery, I am loading up on produce, and he freaks out! This is too expensive, you need to do this rich *kitten* diet when we have money. I was like, produce and fruit are pretty much the main components of my diet....I need to load up on them. He just wheels the cart away and starts stocking it full of his mac and cheese and other processed stuff. Then in the middle of the grocery store he tries to have an intervention with me, about how I'm getting too obsessed about being skinny, that all I ever do is fad diet, and if I knew anything I would ease myself into it because my body is going to go into withdrawal. He says he is worried about me and that I need to go to therapy to talk about my eating issues and my relentless "death spiral" to be skinny. 1. I am not obsessed with being skinny......I don't want to be skinny, I just don't want to be obese. Coming for almost 300 lbs it is going to take me a long time to lose the weight I want to. This isn't just something that I can do and then forget about. This is a lifestyle change for me. 2. I used to fad diet, true....I don't do that anymore.....since joining MFP I have stuck to this for longer than anything else because it is a lifestyle change for me. But it has also opened me up to so much new information about being healthy and what and what isn't good for you....which lead me to the primal diet. I don't want to fad diet, I just want to incorporate the principles into my life to be healthier. 3. Withdrawals from bread? REALLY? 4. I went to therapy.....and the therapist agreed that I needed to lose weight, and that my self esteem is affected because I don't feel confident and comfortable in my body and the way to remedy that is get to a weight that I feel comfortable, which is anything under 2oo btw.
I just don't know what to do. He makes fun of men and attacks me without educating himself at all about the diet. He wants to build muscle and I personally think that his body would benefit from the primal diet as well. I just want to be able to eat what I want, and buy damn groceries without feeling guilty, like I've done something wrong.
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Also, he buys $60 work out supplements twice a month from GNC to "gain muscle and boost testosterone" but yet pitches a fit when I want to spend a little money on veggies? really dude, really?0
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Wow, I'm sorry you had to go through this with your husband. I'm not sure what he's afraid of but he is obviously afraid of something. Changes for most people are very scary and there can be a reaction, not always controlled and not always nice... I really hope you can keep eating the way you want. He should respect your choice, as much as you respect his... Good luck!0
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I always count myself really lucky when I read stories like this. My husband isn't really onboard for commiting himself to this but at least he doesn't belittle me or sabotage my efforts, he's really supportive and he knows the difference this lifestyle has made on my health.
Can you draw up a simple outline for him to show the things you ARE eating- just a laundry list of the different proteins, veg, fruit, nuts and then let him know your calorie goal? With this visual, it might make it more concrete for him that this is a reasonable program. The mainstream concensus is that this is a fad diet, not a lifestyle change so this isn't surprising that your boyfriend might think this as well. If he/you have been buying mostly cheap, processed convenience foods, your food bill may indeed go up, and that is also distressing if he only views this as a fad.
Maybe you can ask him, "what will happen if I eat this broccoli instead of a piece of bread?" You can still get all the vitamins, fiber, and other nutrients from veg and fruit that you can get from grains, you don't have to be missing out on anything there.
I don't know if any of these suggestions will help, just wanted at least to acknowledge your frustration. Hope it gets easier for you.0 -
My family (son, father, stepmother...) have been giving me all kinds of similar lectures. I finally found the following website that has supported my "outrageous claims" that the human body not only doesn't NEED, but is most likely HARMED by eating the SAD. Here is a good article. http://chriskresser.com/the-top-3-dietary-causes-of-obesity-diabetes
Look for other ones on the site. If your husband still doesn't come around after this (and reading how Mark Sisson, who was a professional athlete benefits by this type of diet) I don't know what you can do to convince him other than just making a financial "you get X amount for your ridiculous supplements and I get the same amount for my veggies" compromise.
Good luck!!0 -
Kick him in the nuts. That'll screw with his investment in Testosterone products.
More seriously, I understand where you're coming from as I have difficulties getting my family to understand and, yes, there have been arguments. I was on the diet for a good while before Christmas but fell off the wagon between travelling and Christmas and feel so much more sluggish since. Getting back on it Monday
Just do your best to persevere, and cite any sources you can to make him understand.0 -
stick to your guns!! YOU decide what is best for you NOT him.
It really sounds as if he is threatened by your making positive changes (although thats HIS baggage...) Challenge him to try it for 30 days the daily apple site has a 30 day challenge. The best book or resource I have found written in plain english and easily understandable is the Paleo solution - Robb wolf GREAT book!!! Suggest he take a look at it before he continues to critisize. I have found that I dont crave pasta bread potatoes ect...anymore and I feel better than I EVER have make sure he knows how good you feel about the choices you are making. Hang in there!! You have our support!!
I also like the 'kick him in the nuts' suggestion....this is just a bit more ......subtle
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He really sounds insecure and jealous. Stand your ground. My man is the SAME way x 3 (me and our 2 kids).
ETA: My 8yo was hilarious. She went to a sleepover, and she told the mom that she was allergic to low-fat food! I already knew she said she allergic to bread... he thinks Im a bad influence on the girls...0
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