I'm not doing the online dating thing but I'm in the same boat as you. I got out of a 2 year relationship about 2 months ago and I am in no hurry to jump into another serious commitment (bad relationship that was truly over a LONG time ago). However, if the right guy came along today, I wouldn’t be opposed to it either. A few friends have tried to set me up and I'm sort of seeing a guy casually at the moment. I've made up my mind to just focus on me and when Mr. Right shows up.......great! Until then I'm not going to look for him. Maybe try meetup.com where singles get together as a group. That way you can still go out and be social without worrying about creepos or what to put on a profile. I overanalyze everything so I think I would drive myself crazy trying to meet guys online :laugh: .

Unfortunately I agree that "nothing serious" could be interpreted as just looking for sex. Maybe you can clarify what you are looking for in your profile description thing. Of course men looking at you for the hookup only might not even read it lol. I guess it's a risk you take. It's better IMO than lying and saying you are looking for a relationship.

It means either two things, looking for sex or to be wine and dined with just a guy who wants only friendship and doesnt want sex. Not looking for anything serious can be a amazing thing. Hang out, hookup, and be friends with no pressure/stress/arguing that comes alot with relationships.

I dont see anything wrong with it if the woman is respectful, honest, and never mislead. Its rude to ask a guy out and text other guys the whole time. He didnt ask a woman out to just watch her text the whole time. I even see this all the time when I go out to eat. Its rude and disrespectful.

Also, its not fair for a nice guy to take a woman out and spend all his income on her and then she goes and sleeps with a bad boy afterwards. Im sorry, its the real world, guys want either to date women or get sex/or other stuff. Good guys may wait and be patient but they like sex too.

One of my good friend is a constant victim to being used. She gets him to give her money so she can pay for badboys dates. I dont think any of you (i know there are many good women on here) are like that but I do know ALOT women are like that.

It means either two things, looking for sex or to be wine and dined with just a guy who wants only friendship and doesnt want sex. Not looking for anything serious can be a amazing thing. Hang out, hookup, and be friends with no pressure/stress/arguing that comes alot with relationships.

I dont see anything wrong with it if the woman is respectful, honest, and never mislead. Its rude to ask a guy out and text other guys the whole time. He didnt ask a woman out to just watch her text the whole time. I even see this all the time when I go out to eat. Its rude and disrespectful.

Also, its not fair for a nice guy to take a woman out and spend all his income on her and then she goes and sleeps with a bad boy afterwards. Im sorry, its the real world, guys want either to date women or get sex/or other stuff. Good guys may wait and be patient but they like sex too.

One of my good friend is a constant victim to being used. She gets him to give her money so she can pay for badboys dates. I dont think any of you (i know there are many good women on here) are like that but I do know ALOT women are like that.

And see, this is why I don't see much point in me dating. I mean, it's fun. But honestly, I'm not very fond of these first meet ups. It's nervewrecking and stressful. Granted, I haven't dated much in life.. I usually would just meet guys and voila. I purposely wanted to date just to see what's out there. But since I'm not really wanting to go further then hanging/ going out and making out... what's the point? Am I thinking too much? Should I just go with the flow???

Also, rejection sucks. No wonder people told me I needed to have thick skin. The 2nd guy I went out with didn't call me back. Now I didn't feel any chemistry either though he was attractive but he wasn't my type. He seemed more like a buddy. But it bothered me he didn't call me afterwards haha. I don't like to be rejected!!!

@La_Amazona, that sucks too. It goes both ways, guys can be jerks and dishonest too. I dont think you are the type that I was talking about earlier. There was a thread earlier about what I was talking about except it was from mothers who had sons getting used. You are one of the good women. Just go with the flow and see what happens and dont think about it. If you try to plan it, with dating/relationships, it usually goes different than planend. In time, when you are ready, I got a friend that ill introduce you to.

With POF, there are too many players on there and regardless of what you put you will always get those willing to lie about their motives.

Yes you could clarify what you are looking for in your profile, but then you have to take the risk that it's not read.

Just be honest with yourself, and honest with the people you date. Have fun & be safe.

P.S. I met my last boyfriend (whom I almost married) through POF and my current almost-boyfriend. They're not all out looking for one thing. Like you (I'm assuming), there are some who just like the idea of a free dating site. You just have to be cautious and learn to read between the lines.

I don't necessarily think that it means you are looking for just sex. (Though guys have found a way of getting around the blocks of "must not have messaged people looking for intimate encounters", by putting they want to "hang out" or "not looking for anything serious"). I think as a woman it may look like you just want to be wined and dined. I hear from a lot of guys that the reason they don't like dating is they feel like they are supposed to foot the bill for a lot of women that are only looking for free meals or events but don't really like them. But if you explain in your profile that you are just stepping out there and that you aren't wanting to rush anything, it could go a long way.
When I see that from a man, I just think that they don't want any strings. Like they don't want a woman that will expect frequent attention and interaction, not just that they want to screw as many people as they can. I tend to get the ones that only want you when it's convenient and they have nothing better to do. So they don't want to be expected to hang out several days or weeks in a row. They may text or call you randomly 3 months after they poofed away. It may not even be sinister or that they think of you as a last resort, just that they are busy so they only have time for you when things slow down.

Id take it as been F**k buddies, or just friends and fooling around without the commitment to be exclusive with them

95% of the guys on POF are looking for sex.

Their strategy works much the same as sending spam email does. You send out lots of messages, most will ignore it and delete, and a small percentage will open the email and buy what's being promoted. A commission is earned.

On POF these guys send emails to lots of girls, most will ignore it and delete, and a small percentage will open the email and buy what's being promoted (the creeper's weiner). A commission is earned (the creeper got some).

Sad but true.

I also have a POF account and when I see a guy with that I usually assume all he is looking for is sex. But I like you overanalyze everything and I am afraid my "looking for a long term relationship" could scare away the commitment phobes.

Before I got married I dated a lot and was not looking for anything serious at all, does that mean I slept around no, I didn't...
Were there nights of holding each other, snogging, cuddling and snuggling yes, it went both ways.
I wanted to have fun, meet new people, flirt and be happy. Spread joy and laughter and creating ever lasting friendships.

To me a serious relationship is one that may lead to marriage, and when you are young, inexperienced and still forming your won self how can you settle or work on an ever lasting relationship with someone else.

To me when I said not looking for anything serious I meant I just want to have fun and not be obligated to anything at all. I want to be in control of how far and where it goes, and if I am not having fun anymore I can walk away no harm done and so can he.

I now have been happily married for 4 years to my wonderful sweetheart, he is the only man I will work hard for to satisfy and please even on days he is crabby and not fun to be around and that does go both ways too. Before him yes I would try to make them happy but mostly cause it made me happy too, if it didn't make me happy I didn't see the point of it. With my hubby it's different, I just want to make him happy, and when I see that smile no matter how angry I am it makes me smile too. I hate that part, very annoying but happy it still happens.