My evil inner voice
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ebaymommy
Posts: 1,067 Member
Ugh, sometimes I swear I'm my own worst enemy. LOL! I've been at (or under) my original goal weight of 125 for a little more than a year now. My new goal is 115 but more than weight my goals are in conjunction with lowering body fat % and qualifying for the Boston Marathon. 115 is not set in stone for me, it's more like getting under 119 (my lowest) and finding out how the weight on the scale correlates with my other goals.
But oh, my evil inner voice. It sometimes really gets to me. I am pretty focused and motivated most of the time but then I will get the thoughts of "Why do you want to lose more? You're fine where you're at. Why push yourself so hard? Eat that cookie, it won't matter, you won't gain weight from one cookie. Just skip your run today, you're tired/busy/the weather is yucky."
I don't mean to sound like I'm unhappy. I'm actually thrilled with where I"m at weight-wise....I'm the most comfortable in my body that I've ever been. But I also think that with all I've accomplished (my highest weight was around 170 after having my kiddos who are now 8 & 6) - I can put my mind to it and push myself to do more and really get that lean runners body. I think it would be so cool to say that I went from a total non-athlete (I played no sports in high school and avoided exercise like the plague) who couldn't run 2 blocks at a time to a Boston Marathon qualifier.
I guess it just comes down to dealing with that inner voice the same way I've dealt with my eating issues over the years. But sometimes I wish I could mute the voice, you know what I mean?
But oh, my evil inner voice. It sometimes really gets to me. I am pretty focused and motivated most of the time but then I will get the thoughts of "Why do you want to lose more? You're fine where you're at. Why push yourself so hard? Eat that cookie, it won't matter, you won't gain weight from one cookie. Just skip your run today, you're tired/busy/the weather is yucky."
I don't mean to sound like I'm unhappy. I'm actually thrilled with where I"m at weight-wise....I'm the most comfortable in my body that I've ever been. But I also think that with all I've accomplished (my highest weight was around 170 after having my kiddos who are now 8 & 6) - I can put my mind to it and push myself to do more and really get that lean runners body. I think it would be so cool to say that I went from a total non-athlete (I played no sports in high school and avoided exercise like the plague) who couldn't run 2 blocks at a time to a Boston Marathon qualifier.
I guess it just comes down to dealing with that inner voice the same way I've dealt with my eating issues over the years. But sometimes I wish I could mute the voice, you know what I mean?
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Yeah, I know! I feel like that too. I think, I look okay without trying, why workout, eat right, refuse treats...
There's always a little war going on...
Sorry I just saw this post, it doesn't appear on my groups page, it's on the "next" and I didn't even know there was a "next" page of discussion threads!0 -
Sometimes, ebaymommy, I think the inner voice is RIGHT!! (I have a pretty determined "inner voice", myself....NOISY!)
Maybe what you really want, for your inner voice, is for it to be SUPPORTIVE. i.e. you need positive reinforcement. I mean, it's true that you have accomplished a GREAT DEAL and sometimes your inner voice can give you PERMISSION to take a (much-needed) rest, to celebrate goals you've already achieved and to recognize that anyone with the motivation you (had) have to succeed, as you already have, SURELY has the motivation to make and attain NEW GOALS, too!0 -
I'm working through this somewhat. I work very hard at supressing my inner fat person.
But that said especially with the holiday season I'm purposely taking a step back and not guilting myself about not exercising every night or eating a couple of cookies. I'm reading this book called "off balance on purpose" that talks about focusing purposely on different aspects of your life at different times and not trying to perfectly balance everything at once and it's been really helpful. I'm ok taking a night off because I know I can focus more on that tomorrow night, or even next week. I used to worry that I would break my routine and then let myself go again, but I've been back exercising a couple months now so that's not quite as much of a worry. 0 -
A method I learned long ago that helped me is that when you hear what you describe as the "evil inner voice"..
I'd describe it more as the "voice of temptation" which all of us have within us. What helps me is to recognize that voice it for what it is, and start by just observing it and saying to myself "I know what you are, you're the voice of temptation" which helps me to step away from it's influence.
We also have inside of each of us a "voice of reason"..
So when temptation speaks up I say, uh huh, yea I know you and I know what you are.. and then I listen to see what reason has to say and try to go with that. It works sometimes at least.
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it is so helpful for me to read all these words...i struggle with these same things so much. I'm in the thick of it these days and am really searching for balance. thank you all for sharing.
One thing that i have been working on with myself (and it sounds so similar to a lot of your all's methods) is to try and recognize where the voice is coming from. when i get those temptations to skip a work out, or skip a meal, or eat too much at a meal...i ask myself if that urge is coming out of a place of Fear or Love. Sometimes my urge to eat is coming out of self love, out of recognizing that I've been under eating and my body needs food...sometimes it is coming out of fear of being worthless or stress. I try to only act on the Loving voices.
I have also been working on really recognizing the difference between progress and perfection. My goal is progress, and if I can be kind with myself and recognize my achievements, then my loving voice is easier to hear.
again, much of what i have to say is similar to what you all have already shared, just thought i would add one more non-evil voice to the choir.
One day at a time...0 -
UGH. i can totally relate, to all of you! i will admit i am a perfectionist in every area of my life, and i hate it! i always always always have to reach my goals, including fitness.... and even when i reach my "goal weight" or come very close to it, i am STILL not satisfied. why do i have to torture myself with thoughts like "okay, you're working hard, but not hard enough... you can do better" even when i am working my butt off? or "you can't have a treat, it's just going to set you back on your progress". it is funny because from the outside, everyone must think i am so composed; that i handle my life and obligations so well, but the truth is 99% of the time i am an anxious nervous wreck!
anyone else battling the inner perfectionist in them?0 -
So sometimes the voice flips from the 'have another cookie' to 'run faster' - 'lose more weight'. I guess both are just as evil if we don't keep them in check. But I've realized that goals other than weight loss are what keep me motivated...trying to increase my pace- set a new PR on a 1/2...finish a full marathon...and on the low end of the list- PULL UPS! It's on the low end cause it's still kicking my butt- at my best when I was fully weight training to build muscle I could only manage about 2! So I'll go back to trying just more weight (lift heavier) and push-ups, etc where I know I can see some improvement for motivation.
My balance comes in that I totally like to work out so I can eat bad sometimes- I love pizza and would have to deny myself more if I wasn't doing the work.
As in everything in life...BALANCE0 -
When it comes to treats my inner voice is the worst. "You DESERVE to eat that ice cream/cookie/cake, because you've had a hard day!", "Eating this will make you happy", "You're depriving yourself if you don't", "You won't be able to think of anything else, and you'll be less productive!"
It happens with normal food too. I always think "I'd better eat more now, or I'll get hungry soon" so I end up overeating.0
