We know you're a poser.....
Options
TheRoadDog
Posts: 11,791 Member
.....when.....
You spit out the bug that just flew in your mouth.
You spend more time shining your bike than riding it.
You're too cool to wave at the kids in the mom-mobile in front of you.
You grab for your hairbrush before your old lady.
You take your bike into the shop for oil changes.
Your $500 boots aren't scuffed from riding.
You think that a kick-starter is a mocha latte.
You set at least one mirror, if not both, to reflect yourself.
Your saddle bags say "Gucci".
You carry a lap-top in your saddle bags.
Your tattoos wash off.
You put your pony-tail back in the drawer after you get home.
You won't ride down a gravel road.
You've never seen a sunrise from two wheels.
You only ride on weekends, when you can.
You never ride to work.
All your leathers match.
There are no wrinkled, faded, creased, or scratched areas on your leathers.
You don't own a rain suit.
You've never ridden long enough to know that stock seats are never comfortable.
You've never had to replace a worn out tire.
You've had to replace your tires, but because they were too old and not too worn.
You like to ride by stores with big picture windows so you can admire your reflection.
You ride a Ducati.
Your longest road trip this year was to Hooter's for bike night.
You spit out the bug that just flew in your mouth.
You spend more time shining your bike than riding it.
You're too cool to wave at the kids in the mom-mobile in front of you.
You grab for your hairbrush before your old lady.
You take your bike into the shop for oil changes.
Your $500 boots aren't scuffed from riding.
You think that a kick-starter is a mocha latte.
You set at least one mirror, if not both, to reflect yourself.
Your saddle bags say "Gucci".
You carry a lap-top in your saddle bags.
Your tattoos wash off.
You put your pony-tail back in the drawer after you get home.
You won't ride down a gravel road.
You've never seen a sunrise from two wheels.
You only ride on weekends, when you can.
You never ride to work.
All your leathers match.
There are no wrinkled, faded, creased, or scratched areas on your leathers.
You don't own a rain suit.
You've never ridden long enough to know that stock seats are never comfortable.
You've never had to replace a worn out tire.
You've had to replace your tires, but because they were too old and not too worn.
You like to ride by stores with big picture windows so you can admire your reflection.
You ride a Ducati.
Your longest road trip this year was to Hooter's for bike night.
0
Replies
-
Wait a minute Bro.....I've been riding almost 40 years and I don't own a rain suit. What the hell does one do with a rain suit?? I don't wear chaps either. You know you are real skooter trash if you've ridden in rain so hard that you decided you didn't need to pull over to relieve yourself. Rain suit??
We know you're a poser -
- if you don't have at least 10 "In Memory of Patches" on your cut
- if you don't have at least 5 Bros in prison
- if your first tattoo isn't faded
- if you haven't stopped a bleeding cut with axle grease
- if you don't have a 300 pound Bro named Tiny
- if you don't have a 5'4" Bro named Stump
- if the chain on your wallet isn't rusty
- and of course if your wallet doesn't have a chain
- if you don't have at least one picture of one of your bikes on your arm
- if you haven't been so mad at a cager that you've spit on them
- if you don't have an ol' lady that tolerates the mystique of Ink and Chrome
- if you haven't cracked a rev when passing a rice burner
- if you don't know the meaning of road rash first hand
- if you don't have enough spare parts in your garage to build another bike0 -
I think we went to "hard core" on them RoadDog. Nobody is adding any.0
-
Hang on there,
Having a laptop in your saddle bag is okay if you are riding to work.0 -
Okay.....I'll give you that one, as long as you are working at a biker bar or turning wrenches for a living! LOL (just kidding)0
-
Redneck, bike riding, gun totin accountant. Is that an oxymoron or what?
However, I do have a set of wrenches and know how to use them and teach my kids how to use them as well.
This past Summer my 11 year old changed the brakes on the wife's van and then helped me change the brakes on the bike.0 -
I'm probably a poser by your definitions Badbob. Been riding since 1969 though.0
-
This poser stuff cracks me up.
Why the judgement on how people ride? Aren't bikers supposed to be 'different' than non-riding people? And yet, if all the other bikers aren't exactly like them they get ridiculed. If you don't wear shirts from the Harley-Marketing-Machine or some lemming bike festival where the shirts are imported from some third world sweat shop, you're not cool. They all wear their patches and such, available from any vendor smart enough to know which patches to order from that company that makes patches (likely in china or somewhere similar). I fell victim to the hype in the beginning and am now selling off all the crap I never use. I own a rain suit that has been used once back when I was riding *****. It's a horribly uncomfortable thing that leaves me more wet from the condensation than if I'd just ridden through the rain wearing whatever it is I'm wearing. I ride to work, sometimes in the rain. I've ridden in everything from 35 degrees (Florida just doesn't get that cold) to 100 degrees. My stock seat actually is comfy and fits my buns nicely. My stock pipes have been modified to purr with a growl a little more throaty. I have carried a laptop in my bags, along with my CCW, a hairbrush, lipgloss, and a swimsuit/towel. I've never seen a sunrise from my bike but have seen more sunsets than I can count. I prefer to be snuggly in my bed for sunrise. I don't have a chain on my wallet but did make a custom leather belt bag that carries my cash, id, etc. It doesn't have fringe or anything like that so I suspect I'd be mocked by you fine biker gentlemen.
I admit that I've rev'd just a bit when passing a rice burner, and I can't help but giggle when my pipes set off car alarms as I roll through a parking lot. Even so, I guess I'm just not considered to be in your little club.
You call it hard-core biker, I think y'all look and act the same. I never realized I'd have to become a lemming to fit in with the 'different than everyone else' riding community. Really, the motto should be, "be as different as you want as long as you're just like me."
I ride for me; not to match up with someone's definition of how, when, how much, or how far I ride, not to mention what I should wear.
Keep the rubber down...
~Karlaki0 -
Never had to swallow one but did have to pit early because I couldn't see. It was a BIG bug.
You cant shine a turd
I wave at everyone.
No need for a hairbrush.
Shop does nothing to my bike.
More like $200 boots and they are scuffed.
I know what a kicker starter is. Never used one but have pushed it off before.
No mirror on track.
Tank bag held together with racers tape.
Uh, no lap top on my bike.
No tattoos, just scars. Scars are tattoos with a better story
Gotta have hair for a pony tail.
I'll ride gravel if I HAVE TOO!
I've seen the sun rise and set.
Rode everyday but especially on weekend track days
Greatest way to get to work.
All your leathers match. Yeah, all work and scuffed.
I rescuffed them often.
I bought one so it wouldn't rain once.
Think stock seat are uncomfortable? Ride the Trail of Tear with race pegs.
I've replaced tires after one day!
Longest road trip was Trail of Tears twice.0 -
This poser stuff cracks me up.
Why the judgement on how people ride? Aren't bikers supposed to be 'different' than non-riding people? And yet, if all the other bikers aren't exactly like them they get ridiculed. If you don't wear shirts from the Harley-Marketing-Machine or some lemming bike festival where the shirts are imported from some third world sweat shop, you're not cool. They all wear their patches and such, available from any vendor smart enough to know which patches to order from that company that makes patches (likely in china or somewhere similar). I fell victim to the hype in the beginning and am now selling off all the crap I never use. I own a rain suit that has been used once back when I was riding *****. It's a horribly uncomfortable thing that leaves me more wet from the condensation than if I'd just ridden through the rain wearing whatever it is I'm wearing. I ride to work, sometimes in the rain. I've ridden in everything from 35 degrees (Florida just doesn't get that cold) to 100 degrees. My stock seat actually is comfy and fits my buns nicely. My stock pipes have been modified to purr with a growl a little more throaty. I have carried a laptop in my bags, along with my CCW, a hairbrush, lipgloss, and a swimsuit/towel. I've never seen a sunrise from my bike but have seen more sunsets than I can count. I prefer to be snuggly in my bed for sunrise. I don't have a chain on my wallet but did make a custom leather belt bag that carries my cash, id, etc. It doesn't have fringe or anything like that so I suspect I'd be mocked by you fine biker gentlemen. I admit that I've rev'd just a bit when passing a rice burner, and I can't help but giggle when my pipes set off car alarms as I roll through a parking lot. Even so, I guess I'm just not considered to be in your little club.
You call it hard-core biker, I think y'all look and act the same. I never realized I'd have to become a lemming to fit in with the 'different than everyone else' riding community. Really, the motto should be, "be as different as you want as long as you're just like me."
I ride for me; not to match up with someone's definition of how, when, how much, or how far I ride, not to mention what I should wear.
Keep the rubber down...
~Karlaki
It was a joke that someone sent me via email. Just thought I'd share it. Relax.0 -
I am fully relaxed, just offering up my opinion as you often do yourself. Besides, if those weren't your words or beliefs why would you care what my opinion was?
:laugh:0 -
:laugh: :grumble: :drinker: :bigsmile: :smokin: :glasses:
For the record, my leathers dont match.
I ride to work all the time, have ridden in heavy storms, snow, sleet, ice, temps ranging from 14 to 100+.
I wave to all bikers and even scooters (lol)
I ride a 82 Honda Goldwing all origional.
Laugh at my rice burner all you want, You dont see any 82 Harley's on the road that havent been heavily modified and/or rebuilt
Keep the shiny side up0 -
Well.....most of what I put out there was "tongue in cheek" and actually quotes from calendar written by a minister for the biker community here in Central Florida. I'm pretty sure Road Dog and I were just having some fun and kicking it up a notch to get some dialogue going.
My only definition of a biker is someone who puts 10,000 miles on their bike a year, not counting a long run to Sturgis. You ride 'em hard and put 'em away wet. Their bikes are also typically one of the top priorities in their lives. There are bikers and there are motorcycle enthusiasts. You can ride for 50 years and be a motorcycle enthusiast. Not that there is anything wrong with that. They typically own what is known in the biker community as "garage candy." Bikes that come out on weekends.
I ride Harleys, but you don't have to ride a Harley to be a biker. The patch I wear today can't be bought in a store or on Ebay. You don't buy it. My road name was earned, given to me by friends and the story is a private thing from many years ago, but that doesn't make me a biker. To me being a biker is a lifestyle not a hobby.
Hell.....unlike many bikers, I don't even think bikes have to be a Harley. Triumphs and Indians are badd-assed bikes as are Ducatis. Now I have to admit, not many of us think bikers ride Goldwings (but they always seem to take offense when we say that). And yes.....I also have to admit....I kinda like setting off car alarms too as I cruise through parking lots. I'm half-deaf from loud pipes and am a firm believer that loud pipes save lives. Now personally, I don't know too many bikers whose bikes go "swoooosh" when they ride by me. "Swooooosh" is not the sound that I would be looking for in one of my bikes. Hell...I've even carried my laptop in a borrowed pink computer case in my saddle bags. Imagine the crap I took from my Bros when they saw that!! Now I don't actually have a Bro named Tiny, but I have one named Tree who goes about 400lbs and is about 6'5 and I really don't want him to see me with a pink computer bag!!
Bottom line is that I think we were just having fun and if anyone took offense, then you probably ain't a biker anyway so I don't care.
LOL!! Last rule.....bikers don't have thin skin!!! Hey and while we're at it, let's lose some weight and get in better shape. Bikers don't have much of a life expectancy to begin with.
Ride safe!!
BB
P.S. And I do NOT have a problem with motorcycle enthusiasts at all. I have many friends who are and am glad they have a hobby.0 -
I liked the post, I thought it was cool.
You know what Harley riders get when they die and go to heaven???.........Gold Wings !!!
So I figured I'd get my Goldwing now just in case I don't make it. LOL!
HONDA = Harley Owners Need Dependable Alternatives
I dont care what ya ride as long as it has 2 wheels.0 -
I am fully relaxed, just offering up my opinion as you often do yourself. Besides, if those weren't your words or beliefs why would you care what my opinion was?
:laugh:
If I offended you, I apologize. It was not my intention. I merely cut and pasted a joke someone sent me.0 -
Wingman....when I die, I'm not sure I'll make it to heaven, but if I do, I'd be happy to wear gold wings. I'll just be the one with gold wings sitting on the Harley Bobber talking' about all my close calls with cages. I already told everyone to cremate me and dump the ashes in the gas tank.
My goal in life is not to get so healthy that I show up to my funeral in a well-preserved body, my goal is to be sliding up sideways in a cloud of dust on my Badd Bobber Harley saying, "That was one hell of a ride Bro!!"
BB0 -
What makes the poser stuff funny is that we've all seen one more people that are on the list. For something to be funny there has to be a little truth to it.0
-
You can always ride with me.......just don't be wearing tennis shoes. I gotta draw the line somewhere!! Hey Wingman......you don't wear tennis shoes on the Gold Wing do ya?? :bigsmile:0
-
I think we all understand this this is just satire aka a joke. I can post all kinds of the same thing why sport bikes are better than cruisers. it is all in good fun. Let's all hug it out and remember this is a diet site and most of us are hunger grumpy / have low blood sugar.
around here the posers are the ones who ride no further than the local Timmies for a coffee and home again. Or who's leathers/helmet/gear matches the paint job on their bikes. Around here the riding season is only 5 months and we are at least 4 hours away from anywhere worth riding (as in roads with curves)0 -
Wow, don't get your leathers in a twist guys. I was just having fun poking at y'all just like you were having fun poking at us 'non-bikers'. I wasn't offended, but am always entertained when this type of thing starts. I guess I enjoy playing the devils advocate a bit too much. No harm, no foul.
Ride on, I'm just a girl who enjoys riding her Fatboy. Now there is a statement you can have some fun with!
0 -
Now.....I'm going to sound sexist here, but I just can't help myself and I think I normally do a pretty good job of thinking pure. There is nothing sexier that a woman riding a Fatboy and I'm not talking on the back. Just don't be wearing tennis shoes Karlaki. I'm sorry Wingman, but a woman riding a Gold Wing doesn't get it for this old biker.0
