Hi and intro - Anyone else feeling conflicted being on MFP?
KathMeistr
Posts: 8 Member
Hi all,
I'm Kathy, OA member in real life since 2005, with 6 years of imperfect abstinence as of earlier this week.
I got a FitBit for Christmas and am trying to increase my activity. I found myself drawn to MFP because I was hearing from other FitBit users that it's a better food diary app than the one that FitBit offers.
So I'm trying it out... and I'm very happy to see I'm not the only OA around here.
I must admit I am wary indeed of getting into tracking my food/calories etc.... Scares me that it's diet mentality behavior, and my sponsor tells me if I'm weighing/measuring my planned food I shouldn't need to count calories. And I don't want to let a focus on the number on the scale invade my thinking again.
However, I must also admit that I'm feeling very "stuck" in my physical recovery, at a significant loss (70+ pounds down from where I started). I am sooooo grateful to have maintained that significant loss -- a phenomenon that always eluded me before OA -- but I remain technically obese and I believe HP's will for my physical recovery does include achieving and maintaining a healthier body than I currently enjoy! And I have to have humility enough to admit that if I don't really know how what I eat is adding up, I am not being accountable and rigorously honest. If I'm willing to take a step in the right direction re: increasing my activity level (with help from FitBit), why shouldn't I do the same re: my food intake?
So it's not about the weight and then yet it is.... All that really matters today is my abstinence today, but I'm also looking to be all I can be in recovery, and I think that includes better fitness and a lower weight (in the "healthy" or at least "overweight" but not "obese" range).
As you can see I'm conflicted. Here's hoping I'm not alone. I'm curious whether any of you have struggled with this conflict and have any experience, strength and hope to share.
Thanks for letting me share!
I'm Kathy, OA member in real life since 2005, with 6 years of imperfect abstinence as of earlier this week.
I got a FitBit for Christmas and am trying to increase my activity. I found myself drawn to MFP because I was hearing from other FitBit users that it's a better food diary app than the one that FitBit offers.
So I'm trying it out... and I'm very happy to see I'm not the only OA around here.
I must admit I am wary indeed of getting into tracking my food/calories etc.... Scares me that it's diet mentality behavior, and my sponsor tells me if I'm weighing/measuring my planned food I shouldn't need to count calories. And I don't want to let a focus on the number on the scale invade my thinking again.
However, I must also admit that I'm feeling very "stuck" in my physical recovery, at a significant loss (70+ pounds down from where I started). I am sooooo grateful to have maintained that significant loss -- a phenomenon that always eluded me before OA -- but I remain technically obese and I believe HP's will for my physical recovery does include achieving and maintaining a healthier body than I currently enjoy! And I have to have humility enough to admit that if I don't really know how what I eat is adding up, I am not being accountable and rigorously honest. If I'm willing to take a step in the right direction re: increasing my activity level (with help from FitBit), why shouldn't I do the same re: my food intake?
So it's not about the weight and then yet it is.... All that really matters today is my abstinence today, but I'm also looking to be all I can be in recovery, and I think that includes better fitness and a lower weight (in the "healthy" or at least "overweight" but not "obese" range).
As you can see I'm conflicted. Here's hoping I'm not alone. I'm curious whether any of you have struggled with this conflict and have any experience, strength and hope to share.
Thanks for letting me share!
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Replies
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Welcome!
Yes, I felt this way at first. I met with a nutritionist some time ago who recommended MFP. I submit my food diary to my sponsor every day so I view it as a recovery tool. It helps that my sponsor supports my efforts here. I also remind myself that "working towards a healthy weight" is part of OA's definition of abstinence. I try not to get hung up on the numbers. When I find myself headed this way, I discuss it with my sponsor. She's great about helping me keep the focus on recovery, not weight loss. As long as I make working the steps my priority, I feel okay about using MFP.
Thanks!0 -
Thanks sheismith! Much appreciated. I certainly am thinking at minimum this will provide my nutritionist with some good data to help evaluate my plan (and adherence to it) and make adjustments if need be. I've been on the same food plan for quite a while, which theoretically should have me losing, but alas, not. So I suspect if MFP helps me with rigorous honesty, it'll be helpful!
Happy New Year!0 -
This is a great topic! I vividly remember the first sponsor who suggested that I track calories. Her suggestion to me was that if I was slipping that I track calories for 3 days. She was right. That actually helped me see the effect on my body of the food I was taking in. However, I do really understand the conflict you feel. Right now I am choosing to focus on the time between meals rather than the meals itself. I pray that the food will be satisfying for my body and mind.0
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I have found that because I have compulsively overeaten for so long, I no longer know what is a 'normal' amount of food. I have only been to one OA meeting (my second is tomorrow), so I don't have a sponsor yet and am still discovering the program. I committed myself to only eating 3 meals per day and only drinks in-between. MFP gives me a place to be accountable to myself. I have to log everything I eat into its right category, so I know I can't use the snacks category, for instance. I just try to avoid looking at the numbers as they aren't what matters. Honestly, I have gotten to the place where I don't care if I lose any weight whatsoever as long as I can just not feel like a crazy person anymore. MFP also tells me if I am swinging to far to the other extreme (I tend to go without eating to eating everything and back again). Perhaps once I find a sponsor and begin to understand and work the program I will no longer need MFP. We shall see! One day at a time, right!0
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MFP is a tool.
And, since I'm not technically "in the rooms", I can honestly say that OA is also a tool.
I use many tools to help with my recovery, and I don't claim that any one of them is the be all and end all. They are all parts of a bigger picture. When in the rooms, we're only speak of our recovery through OA.... but there are other things outside the rooms and 12-step that have helped me to be all that I can be. I can't, and won't discount any of them.0 -
HI THERE AND WELCOME. I DON'T POST MUCH BUT I VALUE THIS GROUP AS ANOTHER AVAILABLE LINK TO OA.
I HAVE ZERO CONFLICTS BEING HERE. I SEE THIS AS ANOTHER GIFT FROM MY HIGHER POWER. I NEED THIS SUPPORT AS MUCH AS I NEED SUPPORT FROM OA.
I AM NOT IN RECOVERY. I BELIEVE IT IS IMPORTANT TO BE HONEST ABOUT THIS BEFORE CONTINUING. HOWEVER, I'VE BEEN AN OA ON LINE MEMBER FOR A COUPLE OF YEARS NOW. MY FIRST OA FACE TO FACE WAS OVER TWENTY YEARS AGO. I HAVE LOST ANOTHER PERSON IN WEIGHT SINCE 2003.
REMEMBER THE THREE LEGGED STOOL ANALOGY? EACH LEG HAD TO BE EVENLY ADDRESSED FOR THE STOOL TO BE BALANCED. I WON'T ATTEMPT TO REPEAT IT BECAUSE I'LL SCREW IT UP. BUT IN A NUTSHELL, WE NEED TO ADDRESS THE PHYSICAL TOO. WEIGHT AND SIZE IS THE OBJECTIVE MEASURE OF THIS. TRACKING AND RECORDING; PLANS OF EATING (OR THE DREADED WORD DIET); WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY ETC ARE ALL TOOLS TO HELP BALANCE ONE LEG OF THAT STOOL.
SOME SPONSORS MAY LIKE OR DISLIKE CERTAIN APPROACHES. SOME MEMBERS MAY VIEW YOU WITH DISDAIN FOR USING THE TOOLS YOU FEEL YOU NEED. ASK YOURSELF: DOES THIS TOOL STOP YOU FROM HONESTLY WORKING THE STEPS? DOES THIS TOOL FOSTER BEHAVIOR THAT INTERFERES WITH ABSTINENCE? HAVE/ WOULD YOU IN YOUR POWERLESS STATE BEEN ABLE TO ACCOMPLISH WHAT YOU HAVE SO FAR WITHOUT THIS TOOL?
OA GIVES US TOOLS TO HELP US ABSTAIN. WE ASK OUR HIGHER POWER FOR HIS WAY. AS I SEE IT, MY HIGHER POWER ANSWERS ME BY PROVIDING WHAT I NEED RIGHT NOW BECAUSE I AM POWERLESS. I AM NOT LIMITED TO WHAT'S GIVEN TO ME IN OA.
FOR ME TOOLS INCLUDED WEIGHT LOSS SURGERY; TRACKING AND RECORDING MY FOOD; HAVING A WIDE AND VARIED SUPPORT SYSTEM OF COMPULSIVE OVEREATERS LIKE MYSELF; AND VARIOUS FORMS OF OA AVAILABLE TO ME 24/7, AMONG OTHERS.
I'VE HEARD TERMS LIKE "SOFTER WAY" OF ADDRESSING COE. MANY MAY IMPLY THAT USING TOOLS NOT SPELLED OUT IN THE LITERATURE IS LIKE INFIDELITY TO OA. I DISAGREE. THERE ARE TOOLS THAT COMPLIMENT OUR RECOVERY AS WE WORK THROUGH OA. USING MFP IS ONE OF THEM. MFP CAN BE VIEWED AS ANOTHER GIFT TO THE POWERLESS FROM A HIGHER POWER.0
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