getting a number
acasey0123
Posts: 640 Member
so the other day i went to a restaurant by myself and didnt want to eat at a booth since i was by myself so i ate at the bar and got a drink....then i was about to leave but the bartender comes over to me and hands me a drink and says that, that guy over there bought it for me. i had NO clue what to do (he was cute but not THAT cute) and he came over and started talking to me...what happens if he wants my number...what would i do bc i wouldnt of wanted to give that to him
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I keep a prepaid cell and give out that number when I don't really want to give out my phone number. Costs me something like $10 a month. I think that there are some cheaper plans but that one works for me. Or you could give him the phone number to the regetion hotline.0
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I would have ended it first so he didn't ask. I would have said something like "it was nice to meet you, maybe I will see you around," and then left.0
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If you feel you can trust the place and the bartender then thank him for the drink and politely tell him that right now you are not interested in anything.
In this day and age it is entirely understandable to also respectfully decline if you did not see the drink prepared.0 -
I keep a prepaid cell and give out that number when I don't really want to give out my phone number. Costs me something like $10 a month. I think that there are some cheaper plans but that one works for me. Or you could give him the phone number to the regetion hotline.
Do you really get that many unwanted propositions that it warrents the usage of a prepaid second cell line? Well don't I feel like quite the loser :frown:0 -
Man, I suck at rejecting guys and end up giving my phone number to the nice ones. Then I have to screen my calls and ignore or reject them over the phone. I am such a coward
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This happened a few days ago. Did you give the guy your number? Your story was a bit unclear to me.0
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If he seemed remotely decent or fun, I would just give my number and give him a chance. If I know absolutely I'm not interested, I would thank him but let him know, "I'm just not interested right now" (like Carl said). I've never had a guy actually send me a drink though... I've had them ask me if they could buy a drink, and I've told them I wasn't interested but I appreciated their manliness in asking (cuz guys seem so afraid of rejection these days they don't even ask anymore!). I wonder if I would feel bad that he'd already spent his money on the drink, and at least honor his courage with an honest attempt at seeing past whatever initially turned me off (does that make sense?).
I'm curious for the male opinion on how to reject the drink without rejecting the man if you're sent one and don't drink (separate thread coming soon)0 -
This is hilarious :laugh:
Do you really get that many unwanted propositions that it warrents the usage of a prepaid second cell line? Well don't I feel like quite the loser :frown:I keep a prepaid cell and give out that number when I don't really want to give out my phone number. Costs me something like $10 a month. I think that there are some cheaper plans but that one works for me. Or you could give him the phone number to the regetion hotline.
Yeah, I'm not getting hit on that often either. Life sucks eh!
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Social pressure. Such a lovely thing. This is what makes men pay the bill, this is what makes women give their number every time. Just learn to fight it and say "no" when you don't want. Person who asks has already considered the possibility they could be rejected.
But it's not always easy, so a good weapon which saves from being embarrassed (you and them) is humour (at any stage).
I would imagine a thing like:
"- Can I get your number?
- Ooooooh! So that's why you've been offering me this drink... I get it, I get it. And I thought this was because I looked thirsty! (Laugh and then chain, with a smile:) No, I'm sorry, not really interested right now. Thanks for the drink though it was lovely. How much do I owe you for it? That's only fair I guess! Ahaha!" (chances are he won't take your cash, but eh! It doesn't hurt to ask... You're not just using him, are you?)
Although my joke was ****ty, the great thing with (good) humour is that it makes the pill easier to swallow (positive/negative AKA the emotional rollercoaster) since the girl doesn't take rejecting the guy too seriously, the situation never feels awkward.
To be honest though, accepting the drink is a "social code" for pretty much saying "I'm moderately interested and want to know more". So yeah, would be easier to stop the interaction before.
But if you didn't stop it before, just never make it awkward that is all (don't give him that sorry look with pity in the eyes and patting him on the arm: "Sorry, I'd rather not give you my number... (3s blank) I mean... If that's OK?" *awkward*).0 -
IDK never done it. if a girl did it to me I'd probably be like
:laugh:0 -
Is it ok to lie and say "my boyfriend might object to me giving out my number...lol" ?? I kinda think that's a polite rejection?? What's says the men in the forum?
:noway:0 -
Any of these:Is it ok to lie and say "my boyfriend might object to me giving out my number...lol" ?? I kinda think that's a polite rejection?? What's says the men in the forum?
:noway:
"Don't worry about it, that's ok I'm not jealous."
"Well, I won't tell my girlfriend either and we're going to be just fine..."
"Oh! So you're thinking about me as a potential boyfriend already? :laugh: You're fast! What about just swapping number in a 'friendly' way?" (add some fake and exaggerated body language that shows you're a bit shocked that she is going "so fast")
... and more.
Girls, whether they are single or not, will throw objections at men. As a man you need to be able to handle this and go past the BS. Some girls jump from one boyfriend to another, so these girls will always have a boyfriend anyway - they're just waiting for a better one to come around.
Truth though is if you have built enough attraction during the conversation and you don't repulse the girl, you shouldn't get much objection past conversation stage.
I mean if the guy is friendly and not "needy" (like sex needy) what's the big deal anyway? But then again, guy should "see" or "feel" how the conversation is going. He should look for indicators of interests from the girl and THEN only ask for the number.
So yeah. I don't know. Probably a "No, sorry, I'm really not interested in giving my phone number away." in a gentle tone (without smiling though) even after a counter to a girl's objection (with a more serious/closed face and you raise your hand in front of you). Guy will probably move on at this stage, otherwise might chat a bit more and then good for you.0 -
Is it ok to lie and say "my boyfriend might object to me giving out my number...lol" ?? I kinda think that's a polite rejection?? What's says the men in the forum?
:noway:
At least as far as I am concerned, in such an early stage, a simple "I'm Not Interested" with no explanation is better.
The boyfriend line has been used so many times. If I hear a boyfriend line, it's rather unclear. There are ways to decipher whether she is lying about that and some guys will keep advancing on that line. Most of the time, I will either assume that she has a boyfriend or has character issues if I hear that line.
The random bar pickup is a situation I will try to avoid as well. Not a great way to stack the odds.0 -
This is hilarious :laugh:Do you really get that many unwanted propositions that it warrents the usage of a prepaid second cell line? Well don't I feel like quite the loser :frown:
Yeah, I'm not getting hit on that often either. Life sucks eh!
I'm getting more quality than quantity right now, but yes, for awhile after becoming single I got so much attention that I actually added a temproary number to my business plan (I have an 800# and local# that forward to my cell phone). If they were actually worth talking to, I'd eventually give them my real number so we could text. But most weren't.0 -
"- Can I get your number?
- Ooooooh! So that's why you've been offering me this drink... I get it, I get it. And I thought this was because I looked thirsty! (Laugh and then chain, with a smile:) No, I'm sorry, not really interested right now. Thanks for the drink though it was lovely. How much do I owe you for it? That's only fair I guess! Ahaha!" (chances are he won't take your cash, but eh! It doesn't hurt to ask... You're not just using him, are you?)
Although my joke was ****ty, the great thing with (good) humour is that it makes the pill easier to swallow (positive/negative AKA the emotional rollercoaster) since the girl doesn't take rejecting the guy too seriously, the situation never feels awkward.
I know you're joking, but I actually think that's a great idea, especially the "how much do I owe you" if you already know you're not interested in the guy and he's already bought the drink.0 -
Is it ok to lie and say "my boyfriend might object to me giving out my number...lol" ?? I kinda think that's a polite rejection?? What's says the men in the forum?
:noway:
If I were a guy, I'd be pissed I had talked to you for however many minutes and now you were saying you had a boyfriend the whole time. IDK what do the guys think?0 -
It probably depends on the kind of interaction I'm after. I can drink and talk with someone in a friendly way.
If I were a guy, I'd be pissed I had talked to you for however many minutes and now you were saying you had a boyfriend the whole time. IDK what do the guys think?Is it ok to lie and say "my boyfriend might object to me giving out my number...lol" ?? I kinda think that's a polite rejection?? What's says the men in the forum?
:noway:
Assuming this is a "romantic" interaction I was after, if the girl is interesting (I hope since I'm still talking to her!) I might still try to friend her and invite her to some party at some point or whatever. Yep, I'm one of these fools who believe in male/female friendship.
If you talk to many girls, some will have a BF, some won't, so a guy should never be bitter about it.
Also, if you friend her (e.g. Facebook friend her) but keep her in your acquaintances circle you can start hitting on her if she splits. Don't be too close before that's all, try to end up in the "potential BF" pool rather than "friend zone".0 -
Is it ok to lie and say "my boyfriend might object to me giving out my number...lol" ??
When I was married, sometimes even saying "my husband ..." wouldn't faze them.
One guy approached me, pointing to my engangement and wedding band (wrap-around design) and said "Does that ring mean anything?" It was a smaller diamond (1/2 carat?), but it was very high purity , and cost my ex quite a bit, so I told him, "Yes. It means you can't afford me."0 -
so the other day i went to a restaurant by myself and didnt want to eat at a booth since i was by myself so i ate at the bar and got a drink....then i was about to leave but the bartender comes over to me and hands me a drink and says that, that guy over there bought it for me. i had NO clue what to do (he was cute but not THAT cute) and he came over and started talking to me...what happens if he wants my number...what would i do bc i wouldnt of wanted to give that to him
Wait, is this hypothetical or did it happen? It sounds like it happened so what did you actually do?
BTW, totally ok to say not interested or simply no thanks.0 -
Wait, is this hypothetical or did it happen? It sounds like it happened so what did you actually do?
BTW, totally ok to say not interested or simply no thanks.
it actually happened, and i was really in a pissed off mood to begin with (hence bar to unwind) and so i really didnt want to talk to anyone to begin with so i may of come across as standoffish
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Google Voice is free.0
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I keep a prepaid cell and give out that number when I don't really want to give out my phone number. Costs me something like $10 a month. I think that there are some cheaper plans but that one works for me. Or you could give him the phone number to the regetion hotline.
Do you really get that many unwanted propositions that it warrents the usage of a prepaid second cell line? Well don't I feel like quite the loser :frown:
Not really. Mostly its corps that I need something from and they require my phone number before they'll do buisness with me. The same setup should work in this case as well.0 -
If you don't want to give him your number, and you're pretty sure you won't see him again, then give him the wrong number. There is a 50/50 chance he won't even call it. But if he does, he'll know it was a blow off. But you won't have to do it to his face.0
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If there is no obvious attraction or initial curiosity and Im truly not interested.... I wouldnt accept the drink in the first place...
Why lead the poor guy on of its a definate "no" from the beginning?
A simple "Thanks but no thanks" is all thats needed and the bartended gets to deliver the message & drink back to the owner...
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If you don't want to give him your number, and you're pretty sure you won't see him again, then give him the wrong number. There is a 50/50 chance he won't even call it.
I'd heard that, for most guys, it's not about actually calling the girl it's just the victory of getting her number.0 -
Lol! :laugh:
I'd heard that, for most guys, it's not about actually calling the girl it's just the victory of getting her number.If you don't want to give him your number, and you're pretty sure you won't see him again, then give him the wrong number. There is a 50/50 chance he won't even call it.
We are depicted as animals... I can imagine what you wrote here on the nature channel:
"For most men, the satisfaction does not come from actually calling the girl... It is just the victory of getting her number."
The problem though is that I normally call the girl immediately after she gave me her number, so that she can get my number too! So no, won't work with me.
And perhaps for really shy men getting the number is something they can brag about so they will be content with that... But really, I think for most men a victory is either kissing or doing naughty things with the girl.
Number swapping is kinda casual (not that you will want to swap numbers with someone you don't want to see, but if someone is alright-ish most people would happily swap numbers)0 -
I think for most men a victory is either kissing or doing naughty things with the girl.
Well that too, lol!
I just read these advice columns where that's a frequently recurring question, "why did he ask my number if he's not gonna call." the answer is always some flavor of "he didn't really want to date you, he just wanted to feel good about getting your number"
I promise, I don't hate men 0 -
Advice columns don't really reflect the real world. Flamfloz is right that the real victories are kissing and doing naughty things.0
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I think for most men a victory is either kissing or doing naughty things with the girl.
Well that too, lol!
I just read these advice columns where that's a frequently recurring question, "why did he ask my number if he's not gonna call." the answer is always some flavor of "he didn't really want to date you, he just wanted to feel good about getting your number"
I promise, I don't hate men
LOL I read this and then think is it bad that I given my number out to 3 different guys in the last 3 nights lol. 2 out of the 3 have called already lol.0 -
The problem though is that I normally call the girl immediately after she gave me her number, so that she can get my number too! So no, won't work with me.
^^this. I do the same. I always check back I have the right number by calling/being called. :bigsmile:
If he doesnt call, he's changed his mind. Simples! Any guy that feels victory over getting a number is a complete jerk and I would be very glad he didnt ring anyhow!! :laugh:0 -
OK, I've done this last week (asking for a number, and not calling).I think for most men a victory is either kissing or doing naughty things with the girl.
Well that too, lol!
I just read these advice columns where that's a frequently recurring question, "why did he ask my number if he's not gonna call." the answer is always some flavor of "he didn't really want to date you, he just wanted to feel good about getting your number"
I promise, I don't hate men
Why? I think it's because I wanted to end the conversation with the girl, but on a nice note. Like I literally used the phone as an excuse to extract myself.
The girl was obviously into me, and I wasn't that much into her - but got dragged into the conversation anyway, so, to end it, I kinda said something along the lines of "Hey, you know what, it'd be great to talk on another occasion, so just give me your number yeah?".
And then I just felt relieved. So no, I wasn't particularly satisfied because I had a number... (I realise the truth is actually much more complex than that, but that will give you an idea).0
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