baffled.
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circuspoop
Posts: 3 Member
what do you do when you know in your head the one million "should's" but just can't will yourself to do it?
i hate ED in my life. it's like i'm in a relationship with an abusive husband that i can't leave.
ironically, i'm desperate for change b/c i know i'm not desperate enough to actually do it.
i'm scared of the further damage i will do to myself (and i've done 20 years worth of it already) before my mind and will can get itself together.
i feel so stuck.
i hate ED in my life. it's like i'm in a relationship with an abusive husband that i can't leave.
ironically, i'm desperate for change b/c i know i'm not desperate enough to actually do it.
i'm scared of the further damage i will do to myself (and i've done 20 years worth of it already) before my mind and will can get itself together.
i feel so stuck.
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Replies
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I am just taking it one minute and 1 hour at a time with the help of all the fabulous folks here! You can friend me if you want. This is really difficult but it helps to talk about it and see that you are NOT ALONE in your struggle.
We are here for you.
Deep breath.
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I'd been doing ok today, I'd eaten really well and then this afternoon despite not being hungry I ate 2 bars of chocolate and 4 chocolate digestives.. I'm so tired of myself for behaving like this and it doesn't matter how well I do I never seem to be completely free of this urge to self-destruct.
The only positive right now is that I stopped at that point. Before I would've eaten the packet of biscuits and felt even worse. Every day feels like an uphill struggle.0
