I just ended a binge, and I have decided enough is enough.
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iliaque
Posts: 1
When I was fifteen, I decided that at 5'4" and 122lbs, I wanted to lose weight. I started healthily, but within three months, it had spiralled out of control and I had lost 14lbs, and I was underweight. I couldn't keep it up, and when I started eating again, I wanted everything. Over the next year, I gained back those 14lbs, and maybe another stone too. I developed bulimic tendencies. And it has been up and down ever since.
Now nineteen and at university, I still have my moments, but tend to stay between 114 and 116lbs. I have been at home for Easter the past three weeks, and surrounded by foods that I used to love to binge on. With the stress of upcoming exams, I haven't been able to help myself.
Today I have had almost an a whole packet of cereal, a whole lot of chocolate... I made a bowl of sage and onion stuffing and just started to eat that with sun-blushed tomatoes mixed in...why!? I started to eat peanut butter out of a jar, when I managed to stop myself. I feel horrendously down and I just decided that enough was enough, I needed to be honest somewhere and stop it once and for all. So here I am.
I return on university on Monday, and I cannot wait to be away from all this temptation and use studies as a distraction from all of this, not and excuse for it. And, as a note to self: I can never, ever trust myself with cereal. Never ever.
I haven't weighed myself in weeks; my hope is to be very healthy, and weigh myself on Sunday 29th April, and see at most 118lbs on the scale, and then I can be back to my normal self from there.
Now nineteen and at university, I still have my moments, but tend to stay between 114 and 116lbs. I have been at home for Easter the past three weeks, and surrounded by foods that I used to love to binge on. With the stress of upcoming exams, I haven't been able to help myself.
Today I have had almost an a whole packet of cereal, a whole lot of chocolate... I made a bowl of sage and onion stuffing and just started to eat that with sun-blushed tomatoes mixed in...why!? I started to eat peanut butter out of a jar, when I managed to stop myself. I feel horrendously down and I just decided that enough was enough, I needed to be honest somewhere and stop it once and for all. So here I am.
I return on university on Monday, and I cannot wait to be away from all this temptation and use studies as a distraction from all of this, not and excuse for it. And, as a note to self: I can never, ever trust myself with cereal. Never ever.
I haven't weighed myself in weeks; my hope is to be very healthy, and weigh myself on Sunday 29th April, and see at most 118lbs on the scale, and then I can be back to my normal self from there.
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Replies
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I completely understand. I do really well until I go visit my dad. There honestly is nothing healthy in his house. I have tried to pack a cooler with all the meals that I will need for the weekend but it is SO hard. I usually end up losing control.
You should be commended for being aware of the fact that you stopped yourself from many bad choices. Just remember that this binge is over and you have to move on. What's done is done. DO NOT beat yourself up about it...it won't change. Now put on some walking shoes and go for a stroll. Enjoy the fresh air and know that you CAN do this. One small step at a time. We are all here for you!0 -
Yes we are here for you!!!!! I have been binging alot lately too and am trying to get it under control! I just noticed with both of you that it is at parents houses we seem to lose control. UI am the same, that is how my last one started..at my mom's. I wonder why, maybe it is just the good food. I try to prepare myself but it never seems to work. I just went to the library this week and got some books on binging maybe I will find some good advice in them, if I do I will share.
Don't be hard on your self, you will get back on track!0
