Hello my friend,

Glad you posted! This is the difference that is going to help us break this battle, now we have the support from each other! I am reading a book right now on binge eating and of course I know you already know but I am just learning, the book says we are stuffing down a feeling that we need to feel and don't want to feel. If we just try to go with it and figure out what feeling we are stuffing down we can work on it and be much better in the long run. Jeez....I hope that makes sense! I just want to reach out to you and be here for you! I have been where you are sooo many times and it has put the scale back up for me. Don't let this beat you, you are much stronger!

Sending you strength!!

Hi Friends,
I was doing so well for a few days but today and yesterday were really bad. I ate a bunch of cookies yesterday and feel kinda ill from eating too much chocolate today.

I thought today would be fairly easy because I felt so full and gross last night from the cookie binge. Even this morning when I woke up the food still felt heavy in my stomach. But somehow, I found myself in my officemate's candy jar this afternoon. Actually, I know how it happened. My officemate wasn't in today (I won't eat it if she's there) and my friend was eating it and it looked good. But I can't just have a little like some people can. Once I start it can get ugly. lol.

Why is it that sometimes it's so easy and sometimes it's not? Why does the food sound so good even though I know I will feel sick after I eat it? I'm just like a drug addict...I only remember the high and not the low.

It's really difficult when I'm at goal weight and can't really lose any more...then my head starts saying "you can eat now" even though I know I can't! It's so hard for me to maintain - I can lose and I can gain but maintaining is tough. Sounds like I still have the diet mentality. Ugh.

I have no idea if I am even making sense but I guess I just needed to share. I just feel like I'm stuck with no way out and I hate that! I am trying to remember that I will be ok and this will pass and it will be easy again. Two days is not as bad as I think it is. I need to not punish myself, it will only make it worse. Tomorrow is a new day and I will never be "cured". this is a lifelong battle and I'm not giving up!

Thanks for being here.

I'm really nervous about clicking on "post topic" but I'm going to anyway. :embarassed:

i didn't do so well yesterday either. i know why for me. i am so pissed that i am doing insanity and gaining weight. i keep thinking that i'm putting all this hard work in to lose this weight and then i keep gaining. so i had a binge last night. and today i woke up and weighed and sure enough i gained 1.6 lb in one day. but i know i didn't really gain weight. i shouldn't have even weighed. it made it feel so much more real to see that number, 6 lb up from where i was a few months ago. it just makes me so mad because i am doing this intense program hoping to drop the last 5-7 lb and sure enough i gain...
it made me so mad i felt like throwing in the towel with the diet portion of this. why am i working so hard to eat well and exercise when i gain weight? i was feeling pretty bad about it the last few days. but, i agree about not punishing ourselves. i just look to the reason i am doing it now instead of beating myself up. i know what the reason is this time - all this hard work to what end? also, we had a big catered lunch at work and i felt like i had to "do well" because of this program i'm on. really i just wanted to pig out like everyone else was doing, but i didn't. so then of course in the evening i had to eat treat after treat. i got to the point where i was like "why i am doing this? do i even want this food? no, i don't!" so i totally feel what you're saying. i got with in 1 lb of goal weight in jan/feb, i was so close. and then i had to gain weight from all my binging ... thought i could do this program and lose the weight again, maybe eat a little more... and not so much. i am so frustrated. i am keeping at insanity but i'm just really annoyed by all of this. i get a workout day today and then rest day so hoping that will get my mind cleared.

i totally feel what you are going through. some weeks/months it feels like this never ending cycle.

OK ladies.... I am sure that you wouldn't be this mean to your children/mother/best friend. You need to remember that you are worth the fight, you deserve to be happy.

I totally understand where you are coming from...been there and done that many times. Today is a new day and it will be a better day! We are all here for you!

Be kind to yourself. Every day I tell myself, this is who I am today. This is where I am at today. It focuses my attention on the right things, instead of blaming myself for gaining weight (the past) or living in a fantasy (the future). Every night, when I'm lying in bed, I think about what I am grateful for in my life...my family, my friends, having a safe, cozy place to live, and so on. And I try to think of at least one or two things that I did today that were good, like exercising or cheering up a friend or cleaning the kitchen. I think we magnify all of the negatives and diminish the positives. My goal is to reverse that. It's tough, but it can be done.

It's good that you posted! The times we are least likely to reach out, especially when we are ashamed of our bingeing, are the times we most likely need it!

Hang in there! You are worth it.