i hear your stresss... i kinda feel the same way but i am trusting the process i have been upping my calories over 1 month and originally i lost about 1-2lbs and felt leaner but now i have gained that back plus one and i dont feel as lean i am chalking it up to stress having a little one who last week was sick with a head cold he 's only 5 months and getting my 3 yo to go number 2 on the potty !
(side note ) he is going #2 on the potty but it takes him abotu 5 trips back and forth before he's finished so i have been alittle frazzeled! uggghhhh!!!!!!!!! i believe in this process but man come on lol!!!!!!!!!!

Thanks y'all! I can't imagine eating MORE. I will try. Yesterday was weird b/c I was so 'full' feeling all day that I couldn't choke down anymore food. I know that sounds insane, but it was true! Then when I put on my PJ pants and my thighs rubbed together for the first time in awhile, I almost cried. Really, I went to bed and woke up quite defeated. How long can I 'think' I"m doing the right thing and it just not work

I appreciate all your feedback and experiences.

Yep. I have as well...(cried, felt defeated and just been very upset). But lets just keep going for another few weeks.

Thanks y'all! I can't imagine eating MORE. I will try. Yesterday was weird b/c I was so 'full' feeling all day that I couldn't choke down anymore food. I know that sounds insane, but it was true! Then when I put on my PJ pants and my thighs rubbed together for the first time in awhile, I almost cried. Really, I went to bed and woke up quite defeated. How long can I 'think' I"m doing the right thing and it just not work

I appreciate all your feedback and experiences.

I've only started this journey myself, but a few things I've learned/observed as I journey through it:

One, I'm gaining inches in my thighs and arms....why? Because I believe the muscle from lifting is developing under the fat layer making them bigger...not because I'm gaining fat.

Two: I'm retaining water like crazy...which I hate because I feel so floofy with the sloshy stuff.

Three: After eating at a VLCD for YEARS, trying to eat my daily calorie goal of 2000+ has been almost impossible until I realized I had to stop eating like I used to in regards to diet food and mass over calories so that I could feel 'full'. I'm now learning to eat nutritious, more calorie dense foods and to look past the diet stuff. Now I find that I can get those massive amounts of calories in just a little easier. (I'm still learning in this department, but getting better).

Four: I'm also learning to eat ABOVE my BMR when my workouts drop me below it and not just aiming for BMR Net. Another difficult thing to wrap my brain around. If I'm going to do this right...I'm going to do it right.

I don't know how long my body will take to forgive me for what I've done to it, but every day I remind myself that if I don't give my body the time it needs to heal because I let FEAR win, I'll only be depriving myself of a full, enjoyable life. Conquer your fears girl...FEAR is your enemy...not your body.

This is what I've always been confused about. We net our BMR or net our 15% cut of TDEE? Or just somewhere in between?

From what I've been able to understand (and if I'm wrong I hope someone will tell us!!) We are to try to net somewhere between BMR and our TDEE Cut value if you exercise and your net falls below BMR. If you ALWAYS net at BMR, then you aren't giving your body the extra few calories you need for your daily life, you are only eating back the extra calories from the workout, but leaving nothing extra. So look at it this way...If I got outta bed, worked out and then immediately went back to bed, netting my BMR would be ok, but since I do more than workout and sleep, (clean, cook, laundry, work, laugh, play, etc) I need a few extra calories in the bank for that too. So, anything I eat above BMR but below TDEE cut, is fuel for those activities. If you don't exercise below your BMR then you just eat your TDEE cut value which already incorporates those needed calories.

Make sense? (Edit: I personally feel that aiming for 1/3 - 1/2 way between BMR and TDEE is good enough for me on those days my workout takes me below BMR depending on how active I've been besides my workout...but like I said...that is something I'm learning to do...I'm slowly getting it up there)

BTW, if this is in any way inaccurate I really hope some of you experienced guys out there will correct me! I'd hate to share bad info.

I've only started this journey myself, but a few things I've learned/observed as I journey through it:

One, I'm gaining inches in my thighs and arms....why? Because I believe the muscle from lifting is developing under the fat layer making them bigger...not because I'm gaining fat. It's going to take a while for my body to let go of existing fat I'm sure but the muscle in the meantime is a good thing!

Two: I'm retaining water like crazy...which I hate because I feel so floofy with the sloshy stuff.

Three: After eating at a VLCD for YEARS, trying to eat my daily calorie goal of 2000+ has been almost impossible until I realized I had to stop eating like I used to in regards to diet food and mass over calories so that I could feel 'full'. I'm now learning to eat nutritious, more calorie dense foods and to look past the diet stuff. Now I find that I can get those massive amounts of calories in just a little easier. (I'm still learning in this department, but getting better).

Four: I'm also learning to eat ABOVE my BMR when my workouts drop me below it and not just aiming for BMR Net. Another difficult thing to wrap my brain around (and stomach around). If I'm going to do this right...I'm going to do it right.

I don't know how long my body will take to forgive me for what I've done to it, but every day I remind myself that if I don't give my body the time it needs to heal because I let FEAR win, I'll only be depriving myself of a full, enjoyable life. Conquer your fears girl...FEAR is your enemy...not your body.

*applause*

Ditto everything you said here- to the point I could have written it myself.

I've only started this journey myself, but a few things I've learned/observed as I journey through it:

One, I'm gaining inches in my thighs and arms....why? Because I believe the muscle from lifting is developing under the fat layer making them bigger...not because I'm gaining fat. It's going to take a while for my body to let go of existing fat I'm sure but the muscle in the meantime is a good thing!

Two: I'm retaining water like crazy...which I hate because I feel so floofy with the sloshy stuff.

Three: After eating at a VLCD for YEARS, trying to eat my daily calorie goal of 2000+ has been almost impossible until I realized I had to stop eating like I used to in regards to diet food and mass over calories so that I could feel 'full'. I'm now learning to eat nutritious, more calorie dense foods and to look past the diet stuff. Now I find that I can get those massive amounts of calories in just a little easier. (I'm still learning in this department, but getting better).

Four: I'm also learning to eat ABOVE my BMR when my workouts drop me below it and not just aiming for BMR Net. Another difficult thing to wrap my brain around (and stomach around). If I'm going to do this right...I'm going to do it right.

I don't know how long my body will take to forgive me for what I've done to it, but every day I remind myself that if I don't give my body the time it needs to heal because I let FEAR win, I'll only be depriving myself of a full, enjoyable life. Conquer your fears girl...FEAR is your enemy...not your body.

That was beautiful! :flowerforyou:

Okay, I am trying to read all this NEW info and starting to get a LEE-TLE confused and scared, so I am needing some reclarification AND some encouragement (which I have seen there is a surplus of on this board...what a GREAT board of wisdom on here-love it)!

SO, I used the calculators Lucia put up on the very first page of this board and my TDEE is 1939. NOW, my BMR was 1450 (something like that...don't have the paper in front of me). WHAT do I use that BMR number for? And WHAT does "netting" my calories for that day mean??? I"m confused about "I ate my net BMR" or "I ate my net TDEE"...what is net calories again (sorry if that's a dumb question).

With all the reading, here is my understanding:

When I workout (which is usually cardio and a burn of 350-600 calories), I should eat my TDEE: 1939
When I DON'T workout, I should eat -15% of my TDEE: which is about 1600 (I think)

Aren't those the only 2 numbers I need to know? Workout calories and non workout day calories? Am I supposed to eat somewhere between 1600 and 1939 when I don't work out, or ONLY the 1600 when I don't work out? What about when I have a really busy day at home: like when I'm getting ready for a birthday and I"m literally on my feet, cooking, cleaning, up and down doing laundry, vacuuming? Does anyone calculate their housework for exercise??? I know it's an option up there in the MFP exercise list...

If I THINK I burn more than 600 calories (I usually do 350 on the treadmill and then do 60-85 minutes giving my 4 year old piggy-backs as I do walking laps in the pool, totaling about 600 calories....I think...maybe more???), what do I do?

I haven't even started the higher calories yet cause I don't feel like I understand it all...well, I UNDERSTAND it, but there's just SO much info that, like everyone else, I want to be prepared to persevere during the reset time and not fall off because of that "pain"...I can hardly stand the idea of anymore tight waists on my pants

Would love some clarification on that all: eating my "net BMR" (what???) when I thought all I need is to eat TDEE or -15% TDEE...

HUGS to all you girls who are going through the transition...don't give up...this all makes TOO much sense to be wrong (even if I'm a little confused still:noway: ...I'll be looking for your encouragement when I make the plunge!!!)

It all seems so confusing at first doesn't it? I think it's because the concept goes against the grain of everything we've learned up to now! :ohwell:

When calculating your TDEE number include your average weekly workout sessions + how active you are the rest of the day (if you are a stay at home mom, you'll be more active than I am sitting at a desk job likely, etc) I would not include random super busy days (such as prepping for a party) in this number.

Once you have that number then subtract 15% and make the new total your MFP daily goal. You eat that number EVERY DAY, exercise or not. Always.

Exercise: Enter everything you do for deliberate exercise or anything that is out of the ordinary for you. I enter all workouts, walks, etc plus I would enter if I mowed the lawn, or washed windows for an hour. I would not enter in daily activities such as laundry, food prep etc. If however you do a marathon cooking/cleaning day and are on your feet for 8 hours or something, consider how you feel afterwards and enter in a portion of that to reflect some of those calories burned. I would consider something like that 'out of the ordinary'.

Where your BMR comes in is if when you exercise, you notice that your NET calories (the far right number in your MFP summary) is LOWER than your BMR number. (Your BMR is a number you will keep in your head and not forget. It won't actually be a 'goal' you set on MFP) If your NET is lower than the BMR number in your head, that means you have worked off too many calories for the day and left nothing for your basic metabolic functions to do what they need to do. So what you have to do to fix that is to eat a few more/extra calories over your TDEE-15% to get that NET number back over your BMR number. So now if you were to look at your TOTAL FOOD EATEN number it would be HIGHER than your regular every day goal (TDEE-15%).

If you find over time that you are consistently having to eat back calories to get your NET over BMR, then you probably calculated your TDEE number too low (underestimated your weekly activity). You may want to consider adjusting your TDEE again, subtracting the 15% and making the new total your new MFP daily goal. I know that I'm noticing that I am always eating back up to BMR, so I'm pretty sure my TDEE is too low, but I haven't quite got up the nerve to raise it yet...baby steps...lol.

I hope that helps clarify a bit? It's hard to explain I find, but once you understand it, it will make sense. I'm sure some of the more seasoned members can explain it better since they've been helping others longer'n me! But this will hopefully help for now.

Oh, one more thing....buy a heart rate monitor. I can't stress it enough. If you want to accurately calculate your calories burned, you will need it.