Meeting people at the gym
solman66
Posts: 175 Member
A prevailing argument to meet people is to meet them in your everyday activities. Well my daily activities are work,gym,sleep,repeat. Weekends are spent around the house getting stuff done I didn't get time to do during the week.
So ladies, I'm sure you've all had dreamy eyes for the buff looking dudes lifting massive amounts of weights, but would it be a bit creepy to be chatted up while at the gym? What if it was just a normal, less than average to average looking guy?
For reference, the gym I use is a Planet Fitness so its nothing special. It draws a wide range of people and usually it's not too crowded when I'm there. When I go to the gym I typically just want to get my workout in and not worry about other people there, but I feel like I need to start meeting women in real life rather than online.
So ladies, I'm sure you've all had dreamy eyes for the buff looking dudes lifting massive amounts of weights, but would it be a bit creepy to be chatted up while at the gym? What if it was just a normal, less than average to average looking guy?
For reference, the gym I use is a Planet Fitness so its nothing special. It draws a wide range of people and usually it's not too crowded when I'm there. When I go to the gym I typically just want to get my workout in and not worry about other people there, but I feel like I need to start meeting women in real life rather than online.
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I use the same gym and I love it. I personally wouldn't mind but I think everyone is different. Some women may not want that simply because they aren't looking their best. Other's (as you stated) just want to work out and not be bothered. It probably depends on the woman. Maybe if you just don't approach her while she's in the middle of a hardcore workout??? Also, check out her body language when first approached. Good luck!0
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If she's not in the middle of a hard core work then why not? Definitely read her body language first though. It can be a big indicator of whether or not she wants you to strike up a conversation. Start with small talk and if she's interested she'll keep talking. Personally I wouldn't mind
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It's fine to approach a woman at the gym, but here are a couple of guidelines:
1) Don't approach when she's in the middle of her workout. Do it when she's stretching or waiting for a machine or when you notice she's about to leave. And don't bother a woman who is wearing earphones unless you actually need something. Earphones are generally universal code for "leave me alone."
2) Be clear about your intentions. A lot of guys beat around the bush and act like they were just being friendly to try and save face in case the woman isn't single or isn't interested. But all this does is frustrate a woman who IS single and IS open to meeting someone because she doesn't know what you want. So have a plan. Know how you're going to figure out if she's available, and know what you're going to do about it if she is (e.g. ask for her number, ask her to grab a drink with you, etc.). Don't let her think you are interested and then leave her hanging.0 -
nope. I don't ever. I've read countless threads here on MFP and of course there are exceptions to the rule but for the most part ladies hate being approached while at the gym. I don't want to be that "creepy" gym guy that hits on women. lol0
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I work out in a small gym that is mainly filled with young adults (17 - 25) and older people (55-80). The people my own age are mainly woman except this one guy who comes in a boxes. I have seen his pic on POF, but how do you approach a guy who is focused on punching a big bag?? Would he even want to be approached at the gym?? It would be totally creepy to send him a message on POF saying I've seen hi at the gym...0
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Absolutely.... as long as a) it's after my workout (not beforehand and even during is iffy b/c I may be time crunched and if 5 minutes talking to you causes me to lose a needed machine I'm gonna be irritated). Like JQ said, not if I have on headphones.
I'm always quite flattered when someone finds me attractive when I'm working out. Unfortunately, I'm also generally in a rush to squeeze the workout in, and probably so is the woman you're thinking of approaching, and wouldn't appreciate a long, drawn-out convo. Just something quick to express interest- maybe an invite for a protein smoothie after or drinks later or perhaps attending an upcoming special class at the gym.0 -
nope. I don't ever. I've read countless threads here on MFP and of course there are exceptions to the rule but for the most part ladies hate being approached while at the gym. I don't want to be that "creepy" gym guy that hits on women. lol
Well, it's important to consider the type of women. A lot of women on this site are married or in relationships, and it's easy to see why those women are annoyed by guys who hit on women at the gym.
But I guarantee you a single woman who wants to date would love to be approached at the gym by a man with a similar interest in fitness. Now, you definitely don't want to be the creepy guy who uses lame pick-up lines or who won't take no for an answer. But don't be afraid to make an honest effort.0 -
nope. I don't ever. I've read countless threads here on MFP and of course there are exceptions to the rule but for the most part ladies hate being approached while at the gym. I don't want to be that "creepy" gym guy that hits on women. lol
Well, it's important to consider the type of women. A lot of women on this site are married or in relationships, and it's easy to see why those women are annoyed by guys who hit on women at the gym.
But I guarantee you a single woman who wants to date would love to be approached at the gym by a man with a similar interest in fitness. Now, you definitely don't want to be the creepy guy who uses lame pick-up lines or who won't take no for an answer. But don't be afraid to make an honest effort.
Definitley this....0 -
nope. I don't ever. I've read countless threads here on MFP and of course there are exceptions to the rule but for the most part ladies hate being approached while at the gym. I don't want to be that "creepy" gym guy that hits on women. lol
Well, it's important to consider the type of women. A lot of women on this site are married or in relationships, and it's easy to see why those women are annoyed by guys who hit on women at the gym.
But I guarantee you a single woman who wants to date would love to be approached at the gym by a man with a similar interest in fitness. Now, you definitely don't want to be the creepy guy who uses lame pick-up lines or who won't take no for an answer. But don't be afraid to make an honest effort.
Yes, this exactly. I think it's the 'taken" women who feel creeped out. Meeting someone at the gym would be great for me because it is part of my usual routine and I'd be pleased to find someone who I have at least something in common with up front.
As a side note, I got a short term membership to a gym near my parent's house where I'm staying for a while and the male eye candy is much better than the gym I use near home. Perhaps checking out deals or the free week some gyms offer as an incentive to join could help you see or meet some new people... Couldn't hurt to try at least?0 -
To the single women who think it would be nice to be approached under certain circumstances. My workouts tend to be rather intense (at least for me). I sweat a lot and by the end of the workout I am really sweaty and my heart rate and endorphines are really kicked in. What would your impression be of a very sweaty and very energized guy introducing himself?0
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First off, great subject! I'm surprised that this topic hasn't come up sooner in this group (at least in the time I've been participating).
I think the gym has the potential to be a very good place to meet a compatible single. You know you are both going to be into a fitness oriented lifestyle. When you meet someone in a bar, your first line of commonality is based on outward appearances and the fact that you're both drinking. Unless you are both lushes, probably not the greatest area of enduring commonality.
Now, some of the downsides.....
The gym has become more difficult as a pick up place in recent years. You can blame technology for this. The portable music system. When I was in college (about 7-10 years ago), only the top tier, hottest sorority type girls wore ear pieces/headphones. This was around the time the first gen ipod came out. I understood that. If these 18-22 year old women didn't wear ear pieces, they probably would get no peace.
Now, it is kind of different. The really hot women still wear them, but the technology has diffused downward, and I often see the average looking to even below average women wearing ear pieces.
Many of the ear piece wearers are married or in relationships anyway, so it is a wash. But there are single women who are wearing ear pieces.
If you see a cute woman at the gym, make eye contact and smile. If she makes eye contact and smiles back at you, that's the cue to talk to her. Go for it!
Also, consider fitness classes offered by your gym for meeting women. Fitness classes are often skewed female. There's less chance of the ear piece wearer in class because of the need to listen to the instructor. But also make sure that the class is going to be interesting to you. Women can see through you attending class for the purpose of picking them up. This would be really true if the exercise class involved dancing around in pink tutus.0 -
To the single women who think it would be nice to be approached under certain circumstances. My workouts tend to be rather intense (at least for me). I sweat a lot and by the end of the workout I am really sweaty and my heart rate and endorphines are really kicked in. What would your impression be of a very sweaty and very energized guy introducing himself?
I prefer the sweaty guys! We are at the gym!
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If you see a cute woman at the gym, make eye contact and smile. If she makes eye contact and smiles back at you, that's the cue to talk to her. Go for it!
Definitely. However I have to add something to this: do not go up to her, introduce yourself, chat for a minute and then ask her out. To me, it sounds like the only reason you approached me is because of how I look and not my personality. I would not go out with a guy I've talked to for two minutes at the gym. It just seems weird to ask someone out you don't know. But if I kept a conversation up with him over a few days, then I would be open to it.0 -
To the single women who think it would be nice to be approached under certain circumstances. My workouts tend to be rather intense (at least for me). I sweat a lot and by the end of the workout I am really sweaty and my heart rate and endorphines are really kicked in. What would your impression be of a very sweaty and very energized guy introducing himself?
I expect people to be sweaty at the gym. I sweat like a *kitten* in church when I work out, so I get it, and it doesn't bother me. I think it's hot, actually, unless he stinks, in which case it sort of ruins the mood. I guess it's kind of like how women get turned on by watching men doing manual labor.
I did have to be introduced to the concept of guys being really "energized" during and after a workout, though. A male friend of mine and I were discussing why you can't talk to guys at the gym while they are lifting, and he said "And definitely do not tell a guy how sexy you think he is while he is lifting." I thought he was just teasing me because, well, when I meet an attractive man, I have no qualms about telling him that I find him attractive. And he said "I'm serious. When the testosterone and the adrenaline are pumping, you just can't say things like that to a man unless you want him to act on it."0 -
I never approach women at the gym, but I would think that I would just try to get in and out with the number pretty quick so we can both get back to out workout. And if I approached you, it IS ONLY based on the way you look, but if I still ask you out after a conversation that means that your personality rocks too.If you see a cute woman at the gym, make eye contact and smile. If she makes eye contact and smiles back at you, that's the cue to talk to her. Go for it!
Definitely. However I have to add something to this: do not go up to her, introduce yourself, chat for a minute and then ask her out. To me, it sounds like the only reason you approached me is because of how I look and not my personality. I would not go out with a guy I've talked to for two minutes at the gym. It just seems weird to ask someone out you don't know. But if I kept a conversation up with him over a few days, then I would be open to it.
Or would it be better to chat with them a few times and then ask them out? Only problem is I don't go to the gym at the same time every day, so I might not see them again for weeks or months, if even at all.0 -
And if I approached you, it IS ONLY based on the way you look, but if I still ask you out after a conversation that means that your personality rocks too.
I think most women would want to believe this, but we have no way of knowing if it's true. Guys date hot girls all the time even if they have terrible personalities because of their looks. I'm not saying I'm hot or anything, but I just have no way of knowing what you're really thinking, you know?
I once met this guy who was practically head over heels with me, and this is the stuff I would say. I was trying to be rude to get him off my back. This is part of an actual conversation:
him - What else do you like to do?
me - i read a lot
him - go on lol
me - um thats about it im a pretty boring person
him - you seemed pretty exciting at the fire pit my first thought was hmm this girl seems pretty cool
me - haha well thanks but im really not
him - well i think you are
After all of that, after me saying that I'm not interesting and that II'm boring? He still asked me out - several times. The point I'm trying to make with that is that looks will overshadow a lot of stuff. Does my personality rock with that conversation? Hell no. But to this guy it didn't matter.Or would it be better to chat with them a few times and then ask them out? Only problem is I don't go to the gym at the same time every day, so I might not see them again for weeks or months, if even at all.
Yeah this is definitely a problem. My gym is huge and I rarely see the same people twice but it does happen,especially if I have a reason to notice the guy. But I still think it is better to have a steady conversation.0 -
To the single women who think it would be nice to be approached under certain circumstances. My workouts tend to be rather intense (at least for me). I sweat a lot and by the end of the workout I am really sweaty and my heart rate and endorphines are really kicked in. What would your impression be of a very sweaty and very energized guy introducing himself?
I prefer the sweaty guys! We are at the gym!
I'm with you on this... Sweaty after workout guys are sexy...0 -
If you see a cute woman at the gym, make eye contact and smile. If she makes eye contact and smiles back at you, that's the cue to talk to her. Go for it!
Definitely. However I have to add something to this: do not go up to her, introduce yourself, chat for a minute and then ask her out. To me, it sounds like the only reason you approached me is because of how I look and not my personality. I would not go out with a guy I've talked to for two minutes at the gym. It just seems weird to ask someone out you don't know. But if I kept a conversation up with him over a few days, then I would be open to it.
2 minutes is too soon for the ask out, but if there is a 10+ minute conversation, an ask out would be appropriate.0 -
To me, it sounds like the only reason you approached me is because of how I look and not my personality.
I get what you're saying, but isn't that always the case? Nobody gets approached on the off chance that they might have a sparkling personality. You get approached because someone thought you were hot. I've pretty much accepted this as a fact of life.Or would it be better to chat with them a few times and then ask them out? Only problem is I don't go to the gym at the same time every day, so I might not see them again for weeks or months, if even at all.
You're going to get different answers on this. I prefer that a man get right to the point. Obviously, there has to be some kind of initial conversation before you ask for a phone number, but I don't think it takes days or weeks of conversation to figure out whether or not you want to have a drink with someone. I appreciate a man being direct with me, and I prefer to be direct with him.0 -
The point I'm trying to make with that is that looks will overshadow a lot of stuff. Does my personality rock with that conversation? Hell no.
Important point. Looks matter a lot, especially to men, regardless of the situation (gym or non gym). Women who are top tier really don't need to develop their personalities much in their younger years, because they will be in demand regardless of their personalities. Men won't stay around though if they are too difficult to deal with.
Attitude matters more over a longer period of time.0 -
My point is, if I approach you at the gym and we've never talked before, it's simply because you're hot because I have nothing else to go by. If you're capable of having a conversation and you act like you like us, we will probably ask you out. In the scenario you described it sounded like you met the guy before, or he had at least seen you and had some idea of your personality. That's why he didn't believe you.I think most women would want to believe this, but we have no way of knowing if it's true. Guys date hot girls all the time even if they have terrible personalities because of their looks. I'm not saying I'm hot or anything, but I just have no way of knowing what you're really thinking, you know?0 -
I get what you're saying, but isn't that always the case? Nobody gets approached on the off chance that they might have a sparkling personality. You get approached because someone thought you were hot. I've pretty much accepted this as a fact of life.
I agree that is a fact of life, but in my opinion, I'd rather have a guy at least pretend to get to know me and like me for my personality rather than straight looks, even if it is the truth.0 -
nope. I don't ever. I've read countless threads here on MFP and of course there are exceptions to the rule but for the most part ladies hate being approached while at the gym. I don't want to be that "creepy" gym guy that hits on women. lol
See this is what I always thought too. Glad to know the single women don't mind to the point of even encouraging it.
Which kind of brings up another question of how to know who's single and who's going to think I'm a creep haha.0 -
nope. I don't ever. I've read countless threads here on MFP and of course there are exceptions to the rule but for the most part ladies hate being approached while at the gym. I don't want to be that "creepy" gym guy that hits on women. lol
See this is what I always though too. Glad to know the single women don't mind to the point of even encouraging it.
Which kind of brings up another question of how to know who's single and who's going to think I'm a creep haha.
You can't know (unless she's wearing a ring) unless you ask. As long as you get straight to the point and don't waste anyone's time it can't hurt.
Honestly, worst case scenario you annoy someone mildly who is going to go to a forum and whine about how men find her attractive. Just don't be a jerk about it and you won't lose.0 -
To the single women who think it would be nice to be approached under certain circumstances. My workouts tend to be rather intense (at least for me). I sweat a lot and by the end of the workout I am really sweaty and my heart rate and endorphines are really kicked in. What would your impression be of a very sweaty and very energized guy introducing himself?
In my opinion,
Get a towel, dry your sweat off your arms/face/neck and get some water. Then approach. No reason you can't at least do that.0 -
I haven't read any of the responses. I personally would be absolutely thrilled if this happened to me.0
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This happened to me about a week ago. I would have been okay with it if the guy wasn't older than my parents and his pick up line hadn't been "You do know I'm black right?". I mean really what am I supposed to say to something like that? And to top it off he now watches me while I work out and then tries to talk to me while I'm in the middle of doing some intense lifting. I will admit though there is a guy I have my eye on at the gym so if he approached me I'd definitely be into it.0
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This happened to me about a week ago. I would have been okay with it if the guy wasn't older than my parents and his pick up line hadn't been "You do know I'm black right?". I mean really what am I supposed to say to something like that? And to top it off he now watches me while I work out and then tries to talk to me while I'm in the middle of doing some intense lifting. I will admit though there is a guy I have my eye on at the gym so if he approached me I'd definitely be into it.
Flirt w/ him. Talk to him.0 -
i have never ever been approached at the gym. the only guys that i have ever made eye contact with were the trainers, and i'm sure they made eye contact on the off chance i'm looking for a male trainer, LOL!
i belong to a huge gym, lifetime fitness. i don't go there to get noticed, talked to, looked at, or spoken to. the only people that tend to pay an ounce of attention to me are those that are gawking at my 5 kids :-)
IF a guy were to approach me, i would definitely have a conversation with them regardless of whether or not i was attracted to them. i'll talk to anyone :-) it will never happen, so i'm not really worried about it. redskin cheerleaders work out at my gym, LOL!!! i DOUBT i'd ever get a second look when those girls are there to look at ;-)0 -
i dont think women hate being approached in the gym, it just matters WHO does the approaching and if we're interested in him. trust me most straight women who complain about guys approaching them in the wrong location would NOT be complaining if the guy looked like johnny depp/idris elba/dwayne johnson/brad pitt, etc :laugh:
for me, i'm very outgoing and flirtatious, so i'm OK with anyone talking to me just about anywhere. sweaty workout boys are fine, especially since i'm also sweaty. i stopped wearing my headphones in the weight room because i was constantly having to take out the earbuds anyway because guys have started to talk to me there. nothing creepy, just stuff like "nice push up variation, next time try this one" or tips on how to work my way up to unassisted chin ups, or questions about the program i'm doing0
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