I FINALLY found a solution to online dating!!!!!
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I don't think you are going to meet the smartest most quality people on a free dating site. I think you said in the past you tried match or eharmony, so maybe you have to pay for those again.
Hey I'm on a free dating site (okc) and I consider myself smart and a quality person so I won't stereotype that.
Yeah maybe I wrote that wrong - I just think on pay sites, you have a higher quality of people generally speaking since you have to pay for it. It shows the people are willing to find a relationship, as opposed to just an easy five minute free sign up on another website like okc or pof.0 -
I had a similar message years ago... someone supposedly spotted me at a sushi restaurant in town and didn't want to introduce himself in front of my friends (coworkers), so he waited two days and messaged me on OKC.0
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Because guys have much lower standards, even a pig on OKC can get a guy to sleep with it.
With thinking like that, it's no wonder you;re single. :noway:0 -
Yeah maybe I wrote that wrong - I just think on pay sites, you have a higher quality of people generally speaking since you have to pay for it. It shows the people are willing to find a relationship, as opposed to just an easy five minute free sign up on another website like okc or pof.
Pay sites are worse.. You have everything bad about free sites but now your paying to be humiliated . I may as well put a gag ball in my mouth and go see a dominatrix to get my *kitten* beat with a wire hanger!0 -
Do you WANT to view my inbox? Easy my *kitten*...
I know, right?
In between to 20-30 yrs old then
Huh? I feel like I missed something...
I can only really talk from experience within my age group I guess. Ive been involved in online dating through my 20's on and off. Now at 29. I feel as if the girls in my age bracket, I woudlnt say spoiled for choice, but they have the upper hand. Girls I know, get soooo many messages, one girl Im friends with has gotten 50 messages in one day. I wouldnt have gotten 50 messages in 10 years!!!
You sure have lucky (and/or beautiful) friends, since I get email max once a month. I'm not on the site regularly though, but still.Because guys have much lower standards, even a pig on OKC can get a guy to sleep with it.
And apparently I'm not even a pig :ohwell: (Not that I would be even trying to get one, not my thing)0 -
Momma said internet dating is the devil!!!!!!!0
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Yep.Here what I did .. I deleted all my online site profiles and unsubscribed to all emails . It's been 3 weeks and I don't think I've ever been happier. Online dating is terrible and is inherently disappointing for men. For women it's the opposite it seems... Because guys have much lower standards, even a pig on OKC can get a guy to sleep with it. Guys virtually parade themselves in front of semi attractive women, whom get the first right of refusal and without dignity! I hate people that are cowards and online dating has made it easier for people just like texting.
I really think deleting all my profiles raised my self esteem a few points and removed my good name from something that is so evil!
I personally still have my profile, connect from time to time and let women message me - which rarely happen (I don't even do the first step anymore or very rarely - only if I find a very good profile, the message/response ratio is too low for a man, and it is higher for women so I let them do the work).
I agree with the "pig thing" as well, but it's true in general in life (women have sex easier than men, they are the lowest common denominator).
This I think is the reason.I think internet dating is far more attraction based, I very rarely send a message to someone with out photo's or a girl Im not attracted too.
Plus the fact that you can browse instantly through 1000s of people and look for perfection, which normally wouldn't happen outside.0 -
Online dating definitely has its downfalls, but when there is no other choice........it works.
I am not one of the girls that gets tons of messages daily, but I do find that if I spend a little time looking around on the site, I am more likely to get a message, because the more you are on, the more you show up in other searches. This is true for OKC and POF.
As for pay sites, I tried match years ago, and tried the free part of it and was getting like 3 emails a day ...just from match--not from person, and didn't like that, and eharmony was a joke---albeit an expensive joke.
So, if "real life" is an option for you, that is great--utilize it, but for some of us, online is the only way to meet anyone 0 -
I really think deleting all my profiles raised my self esteem a few points and removed my good name from something that is so evil!
At least you gave it a try.
It's definitely not for everyone! I know a few couples that met online and one couple that are getting married this year
I also know that I have met a lot of freaky guys, heard some real horror stories and have got so frustrated that I've deleted my profile too. So its not just men that have a hard time. :noway:
Perhaps now you can try different things. Good luck :flowerforyou:0 -
unless you're a black woman, then you're pretty much the female equivalent of the guy who admits to be 5 feet tall online :laugh:
Whoa whoa whoa, what's with picking on the short guys?
(Of course, that's besides the fact what you say is true, admitting you're a short guy online is a wonderful way of staying alone)0 -
My point is ... Online dating is stupid ! It's whole purpose is to give women the ability to reject men easier and build THEIR ego. So **** that I'm better than that ! I'm not gonna be a bulleye for 20 year old BORES that I probably couldn't even hold a conversation with. The last girl that I dated from OKC was so retarded we had to leave the restaurant I took her to because the menu NO PICURES on it!
Just want to point out that men reject women too!!! And men are ego builders more so!! You've heard of the trophy wife, right?? If you're not a beautiful, leggy blonde with an hourglass figure and with big tits in her 20's, then your success rate progressively diminishes :laugh:
But I agree that internet dating is judgmental to the nth degree, by both men and women, and you're better off meeting someone in your own locality, in person, so that environment, values, chemistry, personality, commonality etc come into play. Attraction is so much more than a picture IMO.0 -
Well, if you're going to have that attitude, good riddance.
Signed -
One of the "Pigs" from OKC...
One who, btw, doesn't get laid from it.
Hey now, it's not like he labeled anyone specific.
True. But that kind of generalizing attitude is a huge turnoff. If someone came across like that either in online dating OR in real life, I would run far away, no matter how attractive or successful they appeared to be.
My point was she jumped onto the offended bandwagon. He was just using an analogy that he came up with. Based on what I've seen him post, I'm not surprised it's one he used, but I wouldn't automatically get annoyed.
In dating, women have it easier, it's a fact.0 -
I don't think you are going to meet the smartest most quality people on a free dating site. I think you said in the past you tried match or eharmony, so maybe you have to pay for those again.
I don't believe that.0 -
Here what I did .. I deleted all my online site profiles and unsubscribed to all emails . It's been 3 weeks and I don't think I've ever been happier. Online dating is terrible and is inherently disappointing for men. For women it's the opposite it seems... Because guys have much lower standards, even a pig on OKC can get a guy to sleep with it. Guys virtually parade themselves in front of semi attractive women, whom get the first right of refusal and without dignity! I hate people that are cowards and online dating has made it easier for people just like texting.
I really think deleting all my profiles raised my self esteem a few points and removed my good name from something that is so evil!
Online dating is just a conduit to meet people just like a bar, church, gas station,mfp, mutual friends etc., people are people there are jerks, shallow women shallow men, people who have no social skills, people who are too needy online just like in real life cause guess what for the most part they ARE real people. The problem isn't online dating, cause everyone reading this thread has or knows someone who has had a successful online dating experience. It is the way of the world now, I mean haven't u seen the commercial 20% of relationships start online!
The problem is you. In your last thread you mentioned you should start dating guys. No straight guy would ever say that on a open forum. U have posted how you cant meet a woman. How women on website are pigs, how your constantly being rejected and it seems like your just making excuses to why you cant meet a woman. And your trying to rationlize what u would really like to do. This is 2012 just come out the closet. It is ok to be a homosexual. Stop using the forums to bash women and online dating and go find a nice dude somewhere to explore your sexuality and find yourself. It is always better to be yourself then live a lie.0 -
Online dating is just a conduit to meet people just like a bar, church, gas station,mfp, mutual friends etc., people are people there are jerks, shallow women shallow men, people who have no social skills, people who are too needy online just like in real life cause guess what for the most part they ARE real people. The problem isn't online dating, cause everyone reading this thread has or knows someone who has had a successful online dating experience. It is the way of the world now, I mean haven't u seen the commercial 20% of relationships start online!
The problem is you. In your last thread you mentioned you should start dating guys. No straight guy would ever say that on a open forum. U have posted how you cant meet a woman. How women on website are pigs, how your constantly being rejected and it seems like your just making excuses to why you cant meet a woman. And your trying to rationlize what u would really like to do. This is 2012 just come out the closet. It is ok to be a homosexual. Stop using the forums to bash women and online dating and go find a nice dude somewhere to explore your sexuality and find yourself. It is always better to be yourself then live a lie.
Hahaha I'm glad you get my dark sense of humor 0 -
I fell for you after reading your post, became homosexual and I now chose you as my partner Dave!The problem is you. In your last thread you mentioned you should start dating guys. No straight guy would ever say that on a open forum. U have posted how you cant meet a woman. How women on website are pigs, how your constantly being rejected and it seems like your just making excuses to why you cant meet a woman. And your trying to rationlize what u would really like to do. This is 2012 just come out the closet. It is ok to be a homosexual. Stop using the forums to bash women and online dating and go find a nice dude somewhere to explore your sexuality and find yourself. It is always better to be yourself then live a lie.
Even though we all know people who have dated online/met people online/had successful relationships, I think the point the OP was trying to make is that: online dating is definitely not as easy as one could think, especially when you're a man (women shared their experience here and they told us why they don't find it easy either). And also, people go on there with very high expectations, and both sides end up disappointed.0 -
You need super duper thick skin for online dating. I was told that before I started and I completly agree.
Maybe I had the upper hand because I'm a woman but I had a guy pursue me like crazy and then we finally went out on that first date. He had one drink then said it was late (it wasn't), we hugged, I never heard from him again.
I got off of POF for a while after that. I realized I was rejected and it was probably because of what I looked like or whatever... Again, you need thick skin. You're going to be rejected, ignored, maybe even avoided, etc... It's just part of the territory.0 -
I like the way you think OP0
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I like the way you think OP
Thanks!!! I just friended you .. So you can have more of me 0 -
I shut my (not)OKC down because I didn't like the kind of person it was turning me into. I get lots of views but rarely respond to the few messages I receive - there is no physical attraction whatsoever to the men who contact me. And they all seem to be really sweet, smart & brave - we would be very well matched as dear friends. But I am looking for romance and a deeper companionship than friendship. And yes - sex would be part of the deal, but not the whole deal. I am grateful to the men who messaged me for never ONCE assuming that I was booty call material. I just found that I was becoming cruel without intending to be and I just can't live with that.0
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I finally took my "what I'm doing now" off of my profile, because evidently getting a PhD in engineering is too intimidating. I still MIGHT get one or two emails a month.
OOOO Yeah Girl! I remember the first time I was on Match... it asks, "Where do you see yourself in 10 years" or something like that. I put "getting my physics PhD." Crickets!!!0 -
Yeah maybe I wrote that wrong - I just think on pay sites, you have a higher quality of people generally speaking since you have to pay for it. It shows the people are willing to find a relationship, as opposed to just an easy five minute free sign up on another website like okc or pof.
On the surface you'd think that would be the case, but I've done both and it's all the same... I think people just go back and forth between sites hoping to find something new.0 -
2.) The top 10% of females will receive messages from 80% of men.
Therefore: the top 10% of women get swamped with email and the rest of us are pretty much ignored.
3.) Women who DO make the first move, tend to message guys who are only interested in that top 10%
Exactly true. The younger and more attractive a woman is, the more messages she's going to get on an online dating site. In real life, she will be approached all the time as well. Top tier women 18-26 can pretty much write their own ticket.
The middle to lower-middle tier is where there's the most impact. Even women I rate below average still have pretty good pickings on the online dating sites. Probably better than just a real life approach. A lot of times this process will make someone in the average/slightly above average really think that they are top tier.I don't think you are going to meet the smartest most quality people on a free dating site. I think you said in the past you tried match or eharmony, so maybe you have to pay for those again.
Hey I'm on a free dating site (okc) and I consider myself smart and a quality person so I won't stereotype that.
Yeah maybe I wrote that wrong - I just think on pay sites, you have a higher quality of people generally speaking since you have to pay for it. It shows the people are willing to find a relationship, as opposed to just an easy five minute free sign up on another website like okc or pof.
The conventional wisdom on free vs. pay sites is that the pay sites will eliminate some of the riff-raff. It's true, but not true enough. There's still a lot of nonsensical behavior exhibited on the pay sites, enough to make some logical think that the pay sites are not a good price-value proposition. I can't think of a good pricing model that would create a good price-value proposition, at least not without being armed with some research. And I'd bet Match, eHarmony, etc have conducted significant market research to determine their price points.0 -
My point is ... Online dating is stupid ! It's whole purpose is to give women the ability to reject men easier and build THEIR ego. So **** that I'm better than that ! I'm not gonna be a bulleye for 20 year old BORES that I probably couldn't even hold a conversation with. The last girl that I dated from OKC was so retarded we had to leave the restaurant I took her to because the menu NO PICURES on it!
Wow. Just wow.
Online dating is only stupid (to you) because no one wants you. Stop taking it so personally. If other people aren't seeing you as God's gift to women... look at who they want and figure out what those guys are doing differently.
You made a comment about race one time... I get that, because I have the same problem. But you know what? I still had 4 dates last week and 2 this week. Haven't had to pay for lunch in a long time, unless I wanted to (I pay when my interest in the guy is starting to fizzle). And I'm black. And I'm old. And I’m a single mom. Who doesn’t put out.
But I’m not bad to look at, and I’m generally a fun date who will encourage the guy even if he says something stupid. And guys tell me they appreciate that.
So quit the whining and fix the problem. Maybe if you'd stop blaming all the other uncontrollable factors (race, demographics, age, lack of intelligent girls) you'd have time to focus on what's really causing the problem. Other people aren’t as dumb as you make them out to be.
PS: for those of you who think this is harsh, OP can handle it given our PMs.0 -
I shut my (not)OKC down because I didn't like the kind of person it was turning me into. I get lots of views but rarely respond to the few messages I receive - there is no physical attraction whatsoever to the men who contact me.
I turned off being able to view who has seen you on OKC and only log in randomly now. Much happier now that I don't see everyone that looks and moves on.
Of course I don't even remember what is on my OKC profile, it could be an ode to Vanilla Ice for all I know. So they all may have a great reason for it.0 -
Can't say I disagree with much of what the OP said... maybe I'd change a few words but.... in person I can usually get a gal in the 6-9 range and online the only gals that respond are in the 1-4 range. It's a pretty big confidence killer! Like the OP I got frustrated as hell and gave up on it...
My best suggestion is, if you have the confidence to approach girls in person do it... it limits the competition down, everyone has huge balls online.0 -
I found that I was more successful after I quit caring sort of gave up on the process and stopped taking it so serious. (By more successful, I mean I started getting a few replies and went on a few dates - not that the dates led to anything more than meeting interesting women.) All these sites have advise like tell people what your friends think of you or the ask you questions like who is the most influential person in your life other than your parents. When I gave serious answers I got nothing. My best responses came when I wrote a profile that said:
The most influential person in my life is Homer Simpson. He taught me that it is okay to be a selfish drunk who chokes his kid repeatedly, ignores his spouse and loafs at work. You can do all those things as long as you feel bad when you're called out on them and provide a sincere and genuine apology. It's been suggested to me that being drunk, violent, selfish, neglectful and otherwise lazy is not the best way to meet women but I think the jury is still out on that. Besides, if you're looking for more than a dude with a pulse, you're a little too demanding for me any way.0 -
Wow. Just wow.
Online dating is only stupid (to you) because no one wants you. Stop taking it so personally. If other people aren't seeing you as God's gift to women... look at who they want and figure out what those guys are doing differently.
You made a comment about race one time... I get that, because I have the same problem. But you know what? I still had 4 dates last week and 2 this week. Haven't had to pay for lunch in a long time, unless I wanted to (I pay when my interest in the guy is starting to fizzle). And I'm black. And I'm old. And I’m a single mom. Who doesn’t put out.
But I’m not bad to look at, and I’m generally a fun date who will encourage the guy even if he says something stupid. And guys tell me they appreciate that.
So quit the whining and fix the problem. Maybe if you'd stop blaming all the other uncontrollable factors (race, demographics, age, lack of intelligent girls) you'd have time to focus on what's really causing the problem. Other people aren’t as dumb as you make them out to be.
PS: for those of you who think this is harsh, OP can handle it given our PMs.
Hi JJ !!! Now this is getting interesting !!! BTW I am Gods gift to women ... lets get serious for a second. I am not serious.... I don't really wanna date anyone right now.. and when I do I get it done. Online dating is more of an experiment in taking social interaction online. I am fascinated by human interaction and the way people cope with non physical interpersonal relationships. I have been very disappointed in the out come of my experiment, thats why I post REALLY "over the top" topics. If you read my replies, its obviously meant to be funny ( i.e The comment about going to the dominatix)
If you know anything about me, which you may because we are MFP friends, I travel 4-5 days a week. I have this lifestyle by choice and I live like a "playboy." I'm young with no family and make good money, so why would I settle for some random chick that I met off the internet and ruin that ? I am educated, successful, well traveled and not bad looking. I tried dating a few girls but they bore me after the 2 week honey moon phase. When I am serious about dating someone , I go out and look. I am surround by positivity so that radiates to anyone that has had the pleasure of meeting me.
In case you did realize it JJ, my posts are mostly for my entertainment. I love when people get edgy and post stuff like that. Thanks JJ you did good. 0 -
Wow. Just wow.
Online dating is only stupid (to you) because no one wants you. Stop taking it so personally. If other people aren't seeing you as God's gift to women... look at who they want and figure out what those guys are doing differently.
You made a comment about race one time... I get that, because I have the same problem. But you know what? I still had 4 dates last week and 2 this week. Haven't had to pay for lunch in a long time, unless I wanted to (I pay when my interest in the guy is starting to fizzle). And I'm black. And I'm old. And I’m a single mom. Who doesn’t put out.
But I’m not bad to look at, and I’m generally a fun date who will encourage the guy even if he says something stupid. And guys tell me they appreciate that.
So quit the whining and fix the problem. Maybe if you'd stop blaming all the other uncontrollable factors (race, demographics, age, lack of intelligent girls) you'd have time to focus on what's really causing the problem. Other people aren’t as dumb as you make them out to be.
PS: for those of you who think this is harsh, OP can handle it given our PMs.
Hi JJ !!! Now this is getting interesting !!! BTW I am Gods gift to women ... lets get serious for a second. I am not serious.... I don't really wanna date anyone right now.. and when I do I get it done. Online dating is more of an experiment in taking social interaction online. I am fascinated by human interaction and the way people cope with non physical interpersonal relationships. I have been very disappointed in the out come of my experiment, thats why I post REALLY "over the top" topics. If you read my replies, its obviously meant to be funny ( i.e The comment about going to the dominatix)
If you know anything about me, which you may because we are MFP friends, I travel 4-5 days a week. I have this lifestyle by choice and I live like a "playboy." I'm young with no family and make good money, so why would I settle for some random chick that I met off the internet and ruin that ? I am educated, successful, well traveled and not bad looking. I tried dating a few girls but they bore me after the 2 week honey moon phase. When I am serious about dating someone , I go out and look. I am surround by positivity so that radiates to anyone that has had the pleasure of meeting me.
In case you did realize it JJ, my posts are mostly for my entertainment. I love when people get edgy and post stuff like that. Thanks JJ you did good.
Homeboy you don't gotta lie to kick it. I did match.com for 90 days 6 years ago when me and my ex wife split up. Literally I met 12 to 16 women : an attorney, two doctors several teachers all professional educated black women(all I date). Most of the women were a mix and various degrees of too busy /socially awkward / never went out/ had kids etc., lots of good, beautiful women. Some dated for casual sex some were lookin for a husband. I was at the time lookin for casual sex ,fun, and a distraction from a bad marriage ending.I had a fu$@ing ball. People asked me what I thought about dating online the analogy I used is "instead of going out and fishing in a pond online dating is like fishing in a barrel". Easiest way to meet women ever for a playboy(&at the time I weighed like 310-315lbs) . I mean they are lined up right there!
I think your backpeddling tryin to pretend your joking and are a latent homosexual. (In my Seinfeld voice) not that there is anything is wrong with that.0 -
It definitely keeps me humble. Nothing like sending out like 10 thoughtfully crafted and slightly funny emails and none of them even reply. In the long run it's still worth it though, If you keep trying you eventually meet some pretty great people. And after a while you just learn to live with the rejection, you grow some thicker skin and stop crying yourself to sleep every night.0
