She's Outta My League! NO! She isn't!

JanieJack
JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
edited December 2024 in Social Groups
Grrrrrrr. I have this amazing guy friend, someone I really liked but turned out he's looking for someone older. We're trying to set him up with this beautiful woman who is also a very nice girl with a big heart. They would have so much fun together. So we think.

But he won't give her a chance! Keeps insisting, "she's too gorgeous, she's out of his league!!!" I told him she's looking for a nice guy. She saw your pic and wanted to see if we'd set you guys up. All of us think you're amazing and go gaga for you. She wants YOU. Go out at least once!!

Any ideas how I can encourage him? Or should I just leave it alone?


PS: I'm beginning to wonder if the reason beautiful, strong, women end up dating jerks is because they're the only ones with the guts to approach her!

Replies

  • cbeutler
    cbeutler Posts: 667 Member
    You didn't hear it from me but, Men can have self esteem issues too.
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
    You didn't hear it from me but, Men can have self esteem issues too.

    :wink: I guess we forget that sometimes since you guys on the board are so awesome.
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
    Show him a picture of Ric Ocasek and Paula Porizkova and tell him looks don't always matter.

    0206_memba_reveal_03.jpg
  • DavetheHYNIC
    DavetheHYNIC Posts: 318 Member
    Grrrrrrr. I have this amazing guy friend, someone I really liked but turned out he's looking for someone older. We're trying to set him up with this beautiful woman who is also a very nice girl with a big heart. They would have so much fun together. So we think.

    But he won't give her a chance! Keeps insisting, "she's too gorgeous, she's out of his league!!!" I told him she's looking for a nice guy. She saw your pic and wanted to see if we'd set you guys up. All of us think you're amazing and go gaga for you. She wants YOU. Go out at least once!!

    Any ideas how I can encourage him? Or should I just leave it alone?


    PS: I'm beginning to wonder if the reason beautiful, strong, women end up dating jerks is because they're the only ones with the guts to approach her!

    You can't do anything to build his self esteem and she will probably be turned off my his lack of confidence as per the vast majority of women have very little desire to date a dude who lacks confidence.

    To your PS : the reason so many beautiful women end up dating jerks is because despite the prevailing notion that it is just guys, women are very superficial as well and also vain. They pretty much Chase after the top 10% of guys who are spoiled and have their pick of the litter when it comes to women. Plus a lot of women have a skewed view of their dating worth u have a lot of "6 and 7s" thinkin they are "10s" and want a "10" guy.
  • poncho33
    poncho33 Posts: 1,511
    I agree with JJ... I have out kicked my coverage many of times.
  • Roadie2000
    Roadie2000 Posts: 1,801 Member
    If he doesn't want to, send me her number I'm a nice guy :wink:
  • escloflowneCHANGED
    escloflowneCHANGED Posts: 3,038 Member
    Show him a picture of Ric Ocasek and Paula Porizkova and tell him looks don't always matter.

    0206_memba_reveal_03.jpg

    I don't think you can use him as an example lol that guy is famous and rich...
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
    Show him a picture of Ric Ocasek and Paula Porizkova and tell him looks don't always matter.

    0206_memba_reveal_03.jpg

    I don't think you can use him as an example lol that guy is famous and rich...

    Sorry no guy could be uglier then him though and they are still together and I don't think he is that famous and rich any more.
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
    You can't do anything to build his self esteem and she will probably be turned off my his lack of confidence as per the vast majority of women have very little desire to date a dude who lacks confidence.

    wow. that's true. No one wants to go out with someone who needs constant reassurance (hmm…checks mirror... uh oh)

    I really have no choice but to leave it alone. He knows I used to like him, and that alone skews my opinion. But I hope he listens to the coworker who's trying to set him up.


    It just kills me to hear him dog himself out like that. A) because he’s a great guy. And b) because when some high-profile guy asks me out, I *go* and enjoy being seen with him (even if I don't think it will get anywhere, lol!). I'm not deceived about the moderate value of a church girl who doesn't put out, but man oh man, I am shallow enough to enjoy being seen out with a great guy.
  • The_Iron
    The_Iron Posts: 288
    Not to toot my own horn but I have been with some amazing looking women all because I was calm, cool, collect & confident. As long as he keeps both feet on the ground, listens and makes her laugh, he has a helluva chance. He has a benefit because he already knows she is interested which is more than I had before the 'approach'. Sink or swim!
  • DMZ_1
    DMZ_1 Posts: 2,889 Member
    If someone's single, attractive and I know they are single, I don't believe that they are out of my league. I'm going for it!
  • oddyogi
    oddyogi Posts: 1,816 Member
    Yeah.. the no confidence thing could be an issue.

    Even if I'm not physically attracted to someone at first, if they have an awesome personality, great humor, and confidence, it is highly likely that I will become attracted to them.
  • j4nash
    j4nash Posts: 1,719 Member
    no woman is out of my league.

    those extremely hot chicks that men don't think they can get? yup, they have insecurities just like everyone else.

    just play the confidence card and you'll be surprised.
  • oddyogi
    oddyogi Posts: 1,816 Member
    no woman is out of my league.

    those extremely hot chicks that men don't think they can get? yup, they have insecurities just like everyone else.

    just play the confidence card and you'll be surprised.

    Yep. Some of them have webbed feet.
  • will010574
    will010574 Posts: 761 Member
    no woman is out of my league.

    those extremely hot chicks that men don't think they can get? yup, they have insecurities just like everyone else.

    just play the confidence card and you'll be surprised.


    Exactly, no such thing as out of my league!
  • jenbit
    jenbit Posts: 4,252 Member
    no woman is out of my league.

    those extremely hot chicks that men don't think they can get? yup, they have insecurities just like everyone else.

    just play the confidence card and you'll be surprised.

    ditto except with men lol
  • DrewMaxwell
    DrewMaxwell Posts: 269 Member
    no woman is out of my league.

    those extremely hot chicks that men don't think they can get? yup, they have insecurities just like everyone else.

    just play the confidence card and you'll be surprised.

    ^^^^ I totally agree. Once you've worked on your self esteem issues, I believe that nobody is ever out of your league. It just takes a little confidence
  • LisaD1021
    LisaD1021 Posts: 42 Member
    You might ask him if she's so gorgeous and out of his league, why is she single? Tell him to step out of his comfort zone and take a chance. I'm sure he's a great guy, (not just because you say so), and I have no doubt she's beautiful and they may get along great. One date is not a lifetimea commitment. Hopefully, you or your friend can convince him to take a chance. Good luck.
    (Oh, and I agree with j4nash, also)
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,307 Member
    Just to put an additional perspective on things almost all the ladies here have said that they expect a guy to make the move and ask a lady out.
    That conveniently leaves her in the position of acceptance or rejection without bearing the hurt or self esteem shot.

    Not every person is going to like another just because so if this guy or any for whatever reason has had a run of bad luck in this area it will beat them down.
    I have been rejected via misunderstanding when I was not even trying...it sucks so before all you ladies dump on him as being wussy try to put yourselves in a position most refuse to even think about.
  • AllanMisner
    AllanMisner Posts: 4,140 Member
    no woman is out of my league.

    those extremely hot chicks that men don't think they can get? yup, they have insecurities just like everyone else.

    just play the confidence card and you'll be surprised.


    Exactly, no such thing as out of my league!

    I agree with this, but I will say that I'm playing above myself right now.

    You can't fix someone else's confidence. If he doesn't have it, he'll never be comfortable with her. I gave up on matchmaking a long time ago for that very reason.
  • Natx83
    Natx83 Posts: 1,298 Member
    I peaked way to early, I was punching way above my weight all the way from high school... Ive plateued recently haha.
  • 2stepz
    2stepz Posts: 814 Member
    Yep. Some of them have webbed feet.
    You say that as a joke... my best friend DOES have webbed feet.
  • AllanMisner
    AllanMisner Posts: 4,140 Member
    I peaked way to early, I was punching way above my weight all the way from high school... Ive plateued recently haha.

    Even Rocky took a beating in Rocky III. Who knew he had three more movies in him? The force is strong in you. :drinker:
  • atjays
    atjays Posts: 797 Member
    Did you ever stop to think maybe it has nothing to do with confidence? Maybe he wants to be single right now or just flat out isn't interested in her. I'm sorry but even the hottest girls can get shot down. He has his reasons and you should respect that.
  • Natx83
    Natx83 Posts: 1,298 Member
    I peaked way to early, I was punching way above my weight all the way from high school... Ive plateued recently haha.

    Even Rocky took a beating in Rocky III. Who knew he had three more movies in him? The force is strong in you. :drinker:

    Haha thanks mate. Of late, Im not so sure. Going through a rough patch!

    But if anyone watches How I Met your mother... Im def the reacher not the settler hahaha.
  • christine24t
    christine24t Posts: 6,063 Member
    I think all you can do is continue to compliment him and help boost his self-esteem (but don't make yourself responsible for boosting it).
    I feel like if a person starts dating someone who is out of their league, it can lead to failure later since the "lesser" person always feels like they owe something to the other person. It's an unequal power dynamic, especially if the "lesser" person has self-esteem issues.
  • hcoburn37
    hcoburn37 Posts: 442 Member
    I just received an email on match this morning that started with ... "I know your out of my league but I thought I say hi anyway"

    I'm not sure how to respond yet :huh:
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