Significant other that's not on weight loss plan?

kaymarie78
kaymarie78 Posts: 104
edited December 19 in Social Groups
Does anyone have a significant other that isn't on a weight loss plan like yourself? My boyfriend and I live together, and he kind of just eats whatever he wants and doesn't exercise..and these used to be my habits. I have just started my weight loss journey, and I really want to be serious about it, but I know I'm bound to struggle with so much temptation. Tonight I asked what we should eat for dinner, and he wanted Chinese...so I just got something low calorie that stayed within my limit, but it totally messed up my sodium count of course. And I know if I keep doing that, I'm going to fail. Eating/food has always been a mental struggle for me, so I feel like it's not something I can just get over or suck it up. How do you handle it...eat totally separately, compromise, just cook what you want, etc? I don't want him to have to drastically change his lifestyle, but I need to change mine to get healthy.

Replies

  • Kalynx
    Kalynx Posts: 707 Member
    My significat other is a cat, and no matter what I cook he glares at me because I never share. I just ignore him and do whats best for me. hee hee

    Good luck!! I hope he changes and gets on board and is more supportive - sounds like you might want to learn how to make some asian meals at home so you can control the sodium!
  • DoozerDMB
    DoozerDMB Posts: 129 Member
    There are 6 people in my house and I am the only one that is trying to lose weight. I cook regular meals but add more veggies and a salad. I have learned to to use "light" products and they don't know the difference. I have also started to substitute beans and lentils in recipes. ie: taco night, I use lentils and ground meat forthe mix and my family can't tell the difference. I have cut down on calories and made it healthier.
    When my family is eating snacks, I keep handy my nuts, frozen fruit, yogurt etc.
  • yustick
    yustick Posts: 238 Member
    My husband has a more active job and he is 6'8", so he will always be able to eat a lot more than me and still maintain a healthy weight. This is just something i have to accept. But I did ask him to make some sacrifices to help me succeed and I don't feel bad about it. He didn't complain at all. Shouldn't our significant others want to help us live healthier? Just tell him what you need from him.
  • kaymarie78
    kaymarie78 Posts: 104
    Thanks for the advice ladies!! Using light products instead of regular is a great idea, he would definitely never know the difference. I'm an awful cook, but I'm learning...so I think once I get more healthy recipes in my arsenal that it won't be as much of a struggle because I'll be able to make yummy and healthy meals that both of us will like. And if he complains then I'll just throw all of his snacks out while he's sleeping hehe :)
  • LouisAA1978
    LouisAA1978 Posts: 275
    my wife is not with me on a weight lose journey but she is great to always make sure i have a healthy choice for dinner and we pick restaurants that i can find something she is great just stick with it and he will come around
  • tiffanic83
    tiffanic83 Posts: 64
    Have you talked to him about helping you on your journey and doing so by making healthy choices with you? Just because he doesn't need to lose weight doesn't mean he can't make some healthy changes. I struggled with this before too, its not easy. I like the above persons suggestion though to use lighter products, great idea! Also, exercising together like hiking, can be fun couple things too.
  • kaymarie78
    kaymarie78 Posts: 104
    We had a fun trip shopping together looking for healthy snacks last night. I said get your shoes on, we're going to Kroger...and he said, uhh why? lol! I let him know that I needed healthy food in the house for me to succeed. But I think us shopping together and him seeing how meticulous I was at picking out what I thought would be the healthiest helped him see how serious I am about the whole process. I swear I could see him thinking, "Is she really going to get some oranges instead of cookies?" :) Getting him involved in the process, even though he may not be on the same journey I am, is definitely great advice that I need to take...even if it is just taking him shopping with me or talking to him about my calorie count for the day. Thanks for all the support and tips guys! It definitely helped!
  • TriciaAllen7251
    TriciaAllen7251 Posts: 283 Member
    I have one that needs to be on a plan but refuses. Then he complains because he is out of shape and it is hard for him to do the things he used to do 15 years ago. Makes me crazy. Complain about feeling bad, being out of breath and clothes not fitting right and then eat 1/2 bag of reeses pb cups (my fav by the way). I want to throttle him. But, I pick and choose my battles. If he is cooking I let him cook what he wants and I eat to stay within my goal (sometimes I have to sacrifice macros). If I cook he eats what I fix and I can almost guarantee it's going to be healthy. If no one cooks, no one can complain.
  • RilantheFirebug
    RilantheFirebug Posts: 207 Member
    Yes yes and yes. My husband is TINY and not on a plan and just eats whatever he wants and remains tiny. (grrr)

    So! You need to just buck up and I mean that in the nicest way possible. :)

    My husband, being tiny his whole life, did not understand calories and weight and all the stuff involved. He didn't know how many calories you are supposed to have per day or how fast you can eat up all of those with junk. Once he was educated about it he was much more open to the idea and much more supportive. If we go out to eat he'll also look for me at what is not a zillion calories and point it out. Or since I am a carb addict, he will take the bread away. Heh. At first he was resistant and annoyed that we weren't eating the same things and I just laid down the law. He said he didn't want me to be a stick, I told him I like food wayyyy too much to ever be a stick.

    Just keep trucking and your SO will get used to seeing you eat like that and it won't seem so strange.
  • My husband is a groundsman, so he walks on average, for 7 hours a day, either carrying or pushing heavy machinery, he burns around 3000 cals a day, he is 6' 3" and 16 stone, the doc wants hime to lose another half stone to be healthy, thing is, he can eat pretty much what he wants without it being an issue to his weight due to how much exercise he does, unlike me, it can cause a problem sometimes when he gets late night munchies, and will only eat if I do, which make me feel guilty, and have tended to give in, but not any more, gotta lose my weight.
  • BringingSherriBack
    BringingSherriBack Posts: 607 Member
    My husband isn't thin but he isn't big either. He probably needs to lose 20 pounds or so, but he isn't on a diet and will eat all his junk right in front of me. He eats ice cream every night and a couple candy bars a day, too. He has his snacks that he takes in his lunch (I'm talking PB crackers, a candy bar or two plus a couple snack cakes) along with his sandwich and drinks for the day at work. He does have a every physically demanding job plus he works out so he isn't gaining more weight. He'll even tell you that he could lose his 20 pounds or so no problem if he didn't like his sweets so much.
    Me on the other hand have always struggled with my weight and have a sedentary job so it is much harder for me to lose the weight. Thank goodness for the most part, sweets are not my thing. I like the salty, crunchy stuff. He can live without the chips and stuff so at least I don't have to look at my favorites all the time.
    He does eat whatever I cook for him and so does my daughter. Most of the time I cook lean meat and veggies and then may add a starch as a side for them. He tries to be considerate when we go out to eat to make sure we pick a restaurant that has some good choices for me since he knows how hard I am trying to get this weight off. My daughter on the other hand always wants to go to McDonalds. That's fine, but I can only eat so many grilled chicken salads! I require a little more variety than that.
    I have even tried just not buying all his snacks when I grocery shop since I do the grocery shopping, but he will just go the next day and pickup it himself and comment that I must have forgot them.
    I pretty much have just learned to deal with that fact that he can eat like that and not gain weight and I can't. I don't even let it bother me anymore that he is constantly snacking on his junk. I keep healthly options available for me in case his snacking causes me to need a treat. SF popsicles and fudge bars are great summer treats and I keep yogurt, 94% ff microwave popcorn mini bags, almonds, etc. for when the urge to snack strikes to insure I have a healthy option available to me.
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